dating a sickler to me is not only choice but a path and destiny. i was 30 when i started dating her and trust me it was one of the biggest decisions i have ever made. she told me from the start about the condition and ups and downs it comes with. i wasnt claiming to be a hero but all i knew was that i was inlove...few months later she had a crisis and so i was confronted with first hand glance of pain she goes through plus the financial input attached to this type of disease. my friends left me coz they tot i was crazy to date a burden and liability. despite the fact that i hid her genotype from my family,some very potent backstabbers reported me to my family that i was taking a big risk. what motivated me during the relationship was even if we werent married it was a perfect opportunity to practice for better for worse,in sickness and in health. one year into the relationship i realised her been a sickler or what people said wasnt just just the problem...she had other issues that made me investigate further about sickle cell sufferers in africa and these affected our relationship.many people said i was dating an ogbanje and to be frank she possesed some attributes similar to the ones i searched. i dodnt just want to indict her or something i did my investigation with the aim of silencing my doubters..life became hell for me with her insecurities,emotional blackmail,contant crisis..my finance going down south,loosing myself, too much but to mention a few...she falls sick when something important is about to happen.. .. part2 is where i will hit the main jist...

i recently got back to site where i work as an operation head in an aspiring construction company. a village in southern kaduna. i do not know how to cook but rely on any food i can get but the food sold in a village like this is worrysome so i have no choice but to manage. in the process i try to neutralise my taste bud by taking soft drink anytime i eat....now its already a habbit from 1 and 2 to 3 bottle a day depending on howmany times i eat. its over few months now and i realised i am addicted. 21 bottles per week and roughly 84 per month.i dont know what to do as i still feel healthy. no pile no diabetes no nothing but i fear for my future. what do i do reverse my situation?

i am inlove with a 20yrs old virgin . she loves me too and willing to marry me while she still studies..problemvis am planing to go see her family but dont know if our age difference will stand as a barrier. we are both christians but trom different cultural group..i needbhonest opinion coz i intend to marry her. i do not intend to have sex with her untill we are married.help a brother. coz i feel no point dating her if it wount lead to marriage coz am ready this year after a bad breakup last year.

I am eager to know coz maybe we have one or both in my estate....their characteristics are all I need. just to watch out

saaedlee:
Initially, I wanted taking sides with you, not till I saw the beginner of your initial post(www.nairaland.com/3153024/phone-always-switched-off-every) .... your misleading intro of contemplating to marry her after 5 years....I don't need to start typing long episodes, but I knew/know that one day, your lies will reveal or start revealing itself....just to spot but a few....




She is a PHD student in your initial post....#ISpeakNoFurther



You dated her for 5 years in your initial post... #ISpeakNoFurther

Other lies are will reveal itself as you continue spewing this ill conceived story... And I trust other Nlders to spot them out...


That's the link to the initial post of yours...
www.nairaland.com/3153024/phone-always-switched-off-every

If you were a blogger, I would have said "oh, He is trying to redirect traffic to his blogspace, but nay, you are nothing but a bloody liar...it will be of more benefit to you if you channel the energy being spent and wasted continuing this into something productive, maybe you might just start making a living for yourself....

If u were in my shoes all this rubbish u are bodered about wount matter to u....I didn't ask u in person to judge me. U sound more pained than me. My saying she is a msc for phd student is just a mistake all I know is that shez bagged her msc and currently doing her phd. In between the yrs we've dated it was of and on don't u get it. I wount be mad at myslef for making mistakes after all wetin dey my head is biger than this confusion u are trying to cause. Bliv me or not. U get urself thanks

My last complain about my supposed wife to be which had about 600 comment and 46,000 views need further updates especially those who felt bad about the occurrence.
I don't know how to take u back to the previous write up but if u care to know just go to my profile and u will build up from there.
Here is the full gist....its not in my making to intrude in someone else's privacy but when its got to do with whom I spend my hard earned money for and whom I have freely given my heart to I think at this juncture my action is justified.
For someone I intend to marry that doesn't pick up my calls all evening calls for suspicion isn't it? Well some of those people who commented, asked me to put a hidden camera in her room which i did without thinking twice. To cut long story short,what I saw in the footage is unbelievable.....I took it in good faith because I had already known what I would see even b4 fixing the hidden camera.
The powerful question now is...if this girl can cheat on me,every nigerian man better watch his back. The Nigerian young woman have taken over the cheating game. Am not in anyway beefing the Nigerian woman(may God bless them) but what I mean is that the woman is not designed to cheat. Men are polygamous and woman aren't and so when such happens its very weird especially when it happens to someone nice like myself.... . I aint getting younger. The only girl I've had sex with without protection,well am going for a test tomorrow. I have waisted a fortune on her, I wonder what more I could do for a human being again. An msc holder,now phd student.what type of brain does she need to know what she really wants in life? The room I paid the rent for another guy comes to visit? Its so unfair...I do not deserve all of this at all....,now I have trust issues. Someone I am 100% faithful to....I just do not know what next to do...- have dumped her already problem now is telling my immediate family that its over even after preparing for our wedding by december.broken relationship is better than broken marriage right?she so does not deserve me.....sad part is the guy shez cheating on me with knows she's engaged. Wow.its so not good. relationship this days is so not easy. Its no wonder shez always laid back when the issue of me intending to visit her in school comes up..I trusted her so much. I tot her age(32)would make her wiser but no. Some people may think I don't satisfy her. Well truth is any woman who doesn't get satisfied 30min of 1st round up to 3rd round is definitly a nymphh... Or maybe she just doesn't love me or just don't know what she wants.its so sad.
Forgive my poor write up..nobe that one dey worry me now. Wetin dey worry me is how to get my waisted time back

dante300:
Lol @ ruby...

Wish u were seriuos.

RUBYRUBY:
Op don't waste your time biko... Am ere ooo singly single.... And much younger, more fertile too U no need find pikin before you see.... I would cook for you. Do my hair once in 2 month. Pick your calls 24/7 I would chat with you every EVENING till you get home... Think about it oooo

Lol @ ruby...

chachanga:
All dis kain "Suegbe" muguns with their ajebo threads sef.

U betterngo and install d cams in her flat and get ur customised heart-attack; the type coming for you will only happen once.

It will tske u a decade to get over it but, trust me, ur brain memory card will format @nd reload necessary data by itself .

Shioor, e pele 4 u

Thanx for that prayer,I wish u the same and even much more.

MULLAH123:
dante300 u aint got balls, I repeat, loud and clear, U aint got balls. I hope and pray she is cheating heavily on you, and that you discover it in her presence, so you can learn from this.

Thanx for the epic prayer...I have nothing to say to u than to wish u the same and even much more.

sashishalom:
Am a lady and her actions are not justifiable even to me as a lady...those talking about her age are getting it wrong...av seen married women with matured kids behave like babies...i think she is not ready to be serious or shez prolly cheating on you but first calm down,if you cn give her 5k every 2 weeks,you cn be able to go to the neighbouring state where she school nd stay over,you can pay for a hotel,she shud be with you in the evening...i think that can help....its tough but you've got to be strong....cancel the tot of not getting married and having kids...i believe your matured and wanna settle down but it shouldnt cloud your judgement...hope you ok tho?

Thank u so much u are so sweet. Appreciate

adewumiopeyemi:
TRy call her in the morning and ask her why her phone normally switch off in th night because some girls dont pick call late in the night.. sme to my girl also..i no hw u feel...

Whenever I ask why she will turn the issue upside down...she will start saying I am a complain box...it is out of respect that I haven't fixed a hidden camera in her crib or pay someone to study her movement. Don't just know what to do.

Babzilla:


Dude she is screwing around
1. If she loves you she would always look forward to hearing from you sonce youre in a long distamce thing. She will make efforts to keep channels of communications open. (charge phones at a neighbour's place, make it up to you somehow)
2. When she is unable to talk to you a girl who cares will make it up to you or EXPLAIN why she cant talk at that time. Not get angry because you asked questions.. and yes your quesrions are in order it looks suspicious and she is doing nothing to look less suspicious
In conclusion this girl certaonly doesnt care about the relationship or how you feel. I recommend you do away with her for your peace and rest of mind

I wish I could turn back the hand of the clock..... This is someone I ve spent well over 2mill supporting her education....

BrideOfDracula:


Yeah, do it for your own self esteem because trust me, all this uncertainty will chip away at your confidence, until you're nothing but a shell of your former self. No person worth all that trouble when you could be having a more loving & more understanding relationship with someone else that cares about you as much as you care about them. Her loss because you sound like such a nice guy. Now call in the stand-ins & say NEXT!

Life is too short, my friend. At 35 I'm sure you still got it

Yes I still got it...thank u so much.....gracias

Gliterrati:


Hmmm... In That Case, Have You Tried Finding Out If She Has Anything Against You? Some Ladies Can Be Like That, If They Have Any Issues With You And Are Not Ready To Discuss It With You, They Start Putting Up Some Attitude... So, If You Know Her School, Why Not Pay Her A Surprise Visit And Try To Find Out What's Wrong... Don't Forget Be Polite Enough.

From my own side I doubt if I have issues with her. Except she is the one having issues with me. Just can't understand why I can't trust som1 I intend to settle with. Couldthis be the reason why most handsome men marry ugly woman just to have rest of mind....

fabulous85:
bros, your other thread where you said few months after saying yes to your marriage propisal, she asked you to wait and see if she is truly ur wife.........i think that is when she met a new guy so she is still keeping her options open. but you wrote you dont get to speak to her five out of seven days in a week.i think you are probably the side guy, her plan B.

What do u advice....@35do I actually stop and solve my problem or I should walk away and start a whole new relationship that could be worse?

BrideOfDracula:
You contributed to your own problem, OP. Four phones! What made you think you could get her on line 2, 3 or even 4 when you couldn't get hold of her when she only had 1 line to manage? You could buy her 20 phones & if she doesn't wanna speak to you, she won't. As she has proven. I think she's definitely up to something. She doesn't seem to care much about you or she'd have made an effort to make sure that at least one of her phones was fully charged & on at all times. Sometimes you just have to take the road with less pain because staying in this relationship that fills you with doubt, will cause you more pain than if you were to walk away.

I feel ur advice

Gliterrati:
If she calls during the day and switches of her phone at nights, it could mean alot... Maybe she doesn't pick night calls

Let's say 5days out of every week idont get to speak with her...bought her 2 smartphones plus one other touchlite phone that the battery last longer but yet new stories everyday....

Jorussia:
I know that you are not a magician. All i am saying is that at that age,you should have seen it all as regards the change in attitude of women.

At this stage it isn't a concrete evidence yet...just suspicion....remember am still human at 35 and I have to takethings stepby step... I appreciate uthanx

bedford101:
@ op sorry to say this, a girl who wants 5k every 2 weeks for hairdo doesn't gv a hut abt u @32 she's suppose to be supporting and giving u financial advice, see Wht she said when u Said 5k monthly "u re stingy", op ask yourself, can she spend 5k every 14 days changing hairstyl with her own personal hard earned money, 5k every 14days amounts to 10k every month only on hair miscellaneous is not inclusive..from all indications this sisi doesn't gv a damn abt u, u re jst an atm u re the one inlove wth her that is the bitter truth, forgv my honesty!. As for the frequent switchin off every evening..somethin is defntly up I believ she doesn't use 1 cell phone nd both phones cnt die same time every blessed evening..to clear ur curiosity I would advice u go to her school wtot prior informn her, go during d day and hang on until evening if u know where she stays, then try to call her when it's evenin while u tak a walk to her apt..

Will do just that

Jorussia:
op at 35 I expect you to know what is going on.

Bin 35 doesn't make me a magician

4reala:
@op, d truth is dat u are d one inlove wit her not her wit u. Though u didn't tell us her response or reason given by her for switching off her fone, but if she really love u, she'll giv u genuine reason for switching off her fone

Her reason is she has not charged her phone or she left her phone in a neighbors room charging....haba 3 phones chargingat the same time....why is it only when she goes back to school...I agree that I am inlove and I don't have apology for that I am only human...if she is actualy cheating on me her and the other guy are the loosers not me...she will only loose a blessing like me....

pcguru1:


Exactly no red devils fan will think of committing suicide this year when this season is gonna be something worth watching. Oh well I think you should ignore or not call her for a while she will feel something is up. But every night ........................ I can't think of an excuse for that explains that

If I was 25 I for no boder if woman cheat on me......dude I am 35 and if I getwoman wit such potential my case is as good as LVG.

iAmCharis:
5k every two weeks for hair for this kain economy? You na strong man o.

I told her to cut the hair she said I am stingy...I said ok let's make it 5k monthly...I still stingy....women...ok

Cutehector:
so after satisfying your curiosity, i hope u wont commit suicide? Cuz what u may see will be really shocking..

Suicide is the last thing on my mind....my football team keeps me happy whenever my relationship is haulted...its just to port...but on a serious note. I wount commit suicide for a woman

pcguru1:
OP is it every night or was that exaggeration, every night is suspicious

I wasn't drunk when I clearly wrote every evening....when she is with me in her 4lines are consistently active like cr7 but when she returns to school her line is inconsistent like memphis depay.

ronald4lif:


Have you been to her apartment of recent and how long did you stay? How about making friends with a neighbour and offer the person tip-off to monitor her movement or ask if anyone has been visiting her and staying over the night?

I hardlygo to her school coz am alwaysbusy with work....uknow na I have to hustle...5k every 2weeks for just hairstyle no be akara....I need to get a tip off or something...truth is I nolonger trust her.

ronald4lif:


Pal, if she was doing it once in a while that should have been understandable but every night is suspicious. She could be cohabbing with some other dude.

I have been in distance relationships and whenever I have someone visiting either weekends or longer I never make or take night calls from bae, sighting flimsy excuses or atimes switch off my phones.

Nothing can keep one busy so much that her phones are always off at nights, something is fishy. Why not pay her a surprise visit or tell her you want to come spend time at her place?

I am contemplating taking a hidden camera to her apartment fix it and study her every move from my phone....don't care how much it would cost me.

ronald4lif:
She could be living with some other guy and can't talk with you at night hence switch off her phones. That should be the only reason.

Damn.....oh my God....I hope not ....hmmm.

pcguru1:
Could be the stress of PHD or she might just want personal time, during my time in school , I switched off my devices because I really wanted no calls and just alone time, maybe you need to take your attention, at 32 I sincerely doubt she's gonna start playing games.

Thank u so much..God bless.

Dating her for 5years now..contemplating marrying her..currently doing her phd..she's just 32yrs ,am 35 .I love her so much....no longer sure if all this will work out....she schools in a neighboring state and every God given evening her cell is swicthed off.

Wenever I ask why, we end up quarelling. I don't know how long all this will end. Almost thinking of joining that school of thought where I will just have children and forget marriage. I haven't made up my mind though. Just thinking.

Trust issue is choking me. I don't care if people think am insecure but I have bought her 3 different phones, powerbank etc just so I can get her on atleast one of her 4lines....all switched off....maybe I am crazy....I don't know I need advice....castigate me or abuse me nairalanders I don't care...coz trolls nogo do me anything....n my relationship matter to me now but I know better people go answer me wisely...sorry for the typing error...I dey vex.

P.s_ I am using a friends nairaland acc in my quaters...call me....nanle.

kaffy4tope:



Oh! He conceded defeat cos he knew doing otherwise would land him straight in ICC jail. Stop praising him for saving himself of global shame. There's no big deal in what he did at all....is all for his own good cos we ain't in military era.

I don't mean to insult u but my opinion is simple and direct.....U NOGET SENSE AT ALL