₦airaland Forum

There comes a time in a relationship when everything seems to be falling apart or already at the verge of doing so, and your partner wants out. Whatever the reason he is giving, you are not happy because even the so-called small issues are big deals to you especially when you value your relationship. But you have to ask yourself, what kind of relationship do you have?


Now, if I haven't mentioned this before, my very bad. Relationships are of two types: you are either going out with a kid who doesn't know what exactly he wants and can't even place why he is with you and definitely will always play around at any given chance (most times wouldn't wait for a chance at all) or a man who is intelligently matured enough to realize what he wants, why he is involved with you, why he chose you and why he must always make it up to you.

When you are dating someone immature, it doesn't precisely mean he is first year under-graduate, he's always on the rainbow color attires, can't live without his different colors of snapbacks & the hugest frames of ray bans, really dying to have a tattoo of Nicki Minaj's butt on his arm, NO! At the same time, you might not be able to classify dating a fourth year graduate, always in a suit-and-tie, hardly have time to club type of person as dating a man. It's all about the mind and mentality. I may list how to recognize a man from a boy, but that is a post for another day.

Today, we're talking about what happens when these two set of guys need space and why?

1. Why your 'immature boyfriend' needs space: Let's say it is beginning to dawn on him that he doesn't even have a purpose for himself in your relationship let alone you. Maybe he doesn't have the guts to tell you it was just infatuation that brought him closer to you, but he just needs to get rid of you anyway. It might be that he believes your session in his dramatic life is over, to begin a new one he needs to eradicate you completely.

The only way he can do so is by telling you he wants space even though he has no good reason what that space will buy him. What do you do? It pains me to still have to tell you to create a large one for him wherever he wants to go! Just excuse yourself from him and everything that involves him, don't even talk to him! Till he's grown and mature anyway.

2. Why your 'man boyfriend' needs space: Ladies we all know some of us can be tough nuts to crack and no matter how perfect a guy will ever want to claim, some of us will make a mountain out of a mole hill. Your relationship has a purpose, thanks not to only you but your man also, it takes two to tango. If that purpose is missing, you may not want to let go, because you have other reasons why you think it should work.

If in a situation when your man demands for space, that means maybe you both communicate better than you think. But, if he knows you will be hurt, he may never say those words 'babe, I need some space' to your face because he wouldn't want to hurt your feelings. If so, you may have to be the one to decipher his change of attitude and most times his routine with you will change too. If he does say them whether you are hurt or not, maybe he is nonchalant about your feelings at some certain moments.

Here are some reasons your man may be pulling away from you;

- Maybe he thinks you're choking/ rushing him, which you really might be,

- He might have critical issues at work

- He think you are not fit for another phase in his life,

The least you can do for any of these scenarios is to re-assure him of how you can help rather than be an extra problem. If he likes you and doesn't just want to annoyingly get rid of you, he will ask for space. At this point, don't go all crazy dear, chillax! He is human too remember, and he is prone to mood swings too just as you are, why not be considerate?

So what do you do? Give him the space! By so doing, you give him the liberty of re-sizing his options, re-scaling how much you worth to him, if he's going to be all fine without you. I bet he may soon be back like he never heard the word 'space' before let alone acting the need of one. That means he really never wanted you two apart, he just needed re/assurance of your relationship.


PS - If he doesn't come back, then probably, the relationship was not meant to be.

I can never advice someone to take life.... I guess you know my answer!

I saw a post someone shared on Facebook about lists for traditional weddings, specifically Mgbidi in Imo state and it got me thinking about my own wedding and such lists in eneral. Ogabido Hyginus complained that the demands his brother got from the family of his girlfriend were a bit on the high side.

I think it's not more than usual, or maybe it's because mine wasn't too different so I'm spoiled. I pointed out to someone that they're even asking for N200 for some items, and the largest money amount is N5000. Of course they replied that when you factor in what the non-monetary items cost, the price will rise up dramatically.

Check out the Mgbidi list the Ogabido family received, and tell us how it compares to yours or the ones you're friends had been given. Should we keep the traditional wedding with its attendant list, or ditch it

ITU MMANYA IZIZE
1. 3 cartons of star beer
2. 2 cartons of Hi-malt
3. 2 gallons of up wine
4. 4 gallons of tombo wine
5. 1 carton of small stout
6. 1 bottle of seamans royal

ITUZU MMANYA
1. 5 cartons of beer : 3 gulder & 2 cartons of star
2. 5 crates of Hi-malt
3. 1 carton of small stout
4. 2 gallons of up wine
5. 8 gallons of tombo wine
6. 2 bottle of seamans royal
7. 4 packets of cigarette(benson&dorchester)
8. 2 bottle of sunff
9. N800.00 for tobacco leave
10. N5,000.00 Esisite
11. Ego Nnadi N500.00
12. Ego lhuonu N400.00
13. Ego Okenye N200.00
14. 4 cola & 4 alligator peper
15. A set of chieftaincy &staff.

KINS MEN (IGB NKWU)
1. 5 cartons of gulder beer
2. 5 cartons of star beer
3. 2 cartons of small stout
4. 8 cartons of Hi-malt
5. 4 gallons of up wine
6. 16 gallons of tombo wine
7. 8 packet of cigg benson/ dorchester
8. 4 bottles of snuff
9. N1,600.00 for tobacco leave
10. 16 fat yams
11. 1 gaint goat
12. Ego Nnadi N500.00
13. Goat buyers N400.00
14. Ego company N500.00
15. Elder man N200.00
16. Young boys N1, 000.00
17 2 bottle of seamans royal
18. 8 colanuts
19. 8 pepper.

FOR MOTHER ONLY
1. Holland's & big george, blouse (lace), fine shoe,
handbag neckles, ear-ring, head-tie &morining-
rose powder.
2. bag of rice, 4 lengths of stock fish &one bag of
salt
3. 20 liters of kerosene & 10 liters of red oil & 10
liter of groundnut oil 20 bar soap hf carton of lux
soap.
4. stainless basin & N5000
5. 1 carton of maltina.

FOR WOMEN
1. Opening of our book N400
2. The elder's right N500
3. The main money N4,000
4. 2 cartons of maltina
5. 20 bars of soap original
6. 2 bags of salt
7. halt carton of lux
8. two tins of powder.

FOR UMU-ADA
1. Opening of book N200
2. Elders money N2,000
3.1 bag of salt
4. 2 cartons of lux
5. 4 creates of can malt
6. cassh of N20,000
7. Sec.s money N500

PHATE007:
I told dis OP thumbs up....







Oh, OP by the way.....







#THUMBS UP

Wow little thumb up that just make my day "Winks"

Have you heard the phrase, ‘dynamites come in small packages?’

How can something so small carry so much power?

I don’t know, but it does.

Coincidentally, there are a lot of things in life that may be classified as little things….but they matter. Some are negative and some are positive.

On the positive side, there are many things that appear little but that go a long way in turning a bad day into a good day.

Your colleague pays you a compliment on your outfit. It's a little thing, but it makes you smile.

Your spouse calls you up at noon to find out how your day is going. It’s such a little thing, but it brightens up the rest of your day.

The note you received in the mail from the friend you have not seen in a long time. It's a little thing, but not really.

Your presentation at work did not go so well. You forgot what you were going to say and stumbled all over yourself. You felt like you did a horrible job. But your boss came to you and said, "Well done. You did a great job! “It’s a little thing, but it restores your confidence.

For some reason, you put in too much salt while making the stew. You know it does not taste so nice. But your husband doesn’t complain.It’s such a little thing, but it makes you want to cry.

You just came in from the scorching sun. While trying to catch your breath, someone offers you a cold glass of water. It’s such a little thing, but you appreciate them more.



You stand before an audience and say, "I do." These are two little words that seem insignificant but they change your lives forever. It's such a little thing, but it matters to God.

On the negative side, maybe it’s the little white lies that you find yourself telling all the time. It’s a little thing, but it destroys trust.

Or maybe it’s that colleague at work who rubs you off the wrong way. It’s not like you don’t like her, it’s just that you don’t like the way she laughs (or writes, or talks). It’s a little thing, but it annoys you.

Maybe it’s the way your wife tells you to fix the broken front door. It’s not like she’s nagging but you feel that she has reminded you one time too many. It’s a little thing, but it matters.

Maybe it is that thing that your husband does, or does not do, that upsets you, or irritates you, and makes you question whether or not he really loves you. He says he does. But if he does, why does he keep doing that? Why is he not listening? You try to ignore it. Everything else seems to be going fine. But you can’t get if off your mind. It's such a little thing, but it’s driving you crazy.

Maybe it’s the shape of your nose. It’s slightly broad at the base. Apart from that, your nose is perfect, but if only it wasn’t so broad at the base. It appears to be a little thing, but then, it matters to you.

I am sure you can think of lots and lots of little things that may be insignificant on their own, but in reality, they really matter.

So even if you think your actions don’t matter, they may in fact encourage someone or spoil their day. Much like that dynamite that weighsonly 5kg but has the power to destroy a building.

So I challenge you. Be the person who does the little things that make life more positive. Don't be the person who does the little things that can cast a shadow on someone’s day.

What little thing do you need to do today?

AT last he has to face the music

Darven:
Dameadaobi, you are killing me

www.nairaland.com/dameadaobi

so you don't know this Kenyan girl....

I like all of them.....

don't really care about the height

tuzle:
wat the Bleep jumia is messing up dere site is on crash mood. dey have sense o dey dont want us to enjoy dis black friday, dat y dey purposely crashed dere site and konga only slashed the prices of non needed stuffs. all dere infinix phones are still the same price

konga and Jumia are on a long thing.. shame

Eyaa

ewoooooo

Kudos .... great year ahead for you

CreamyBanana:
I am seeing this girl. She is beautiful Nice hips Big yansh But any time we quarrel, she will just start crying like a baby Are you stupid? She will start crying. Are you mad? She will start crying. Are you crazy? She will start cry. Can't I ask her a simple question anymore?

Me, I will beat her o Romancelanders, advice please. Should I beat her? Thanks!

Your banana though

The five hardest conversations you will ever have with your spouse? Well, I can think of about 20 of them. So, I wrote those 20 down on a scrap of paper and found out that many were duplicates.
So, let's just pick five doo-zees out of the bunch and see what happens with that.
“There's no money in our bank account.”
One of the great things about being a couple is that you can solve some things as a couple and money issues certainly falls into that category.
While it may be difficult to admit that you are spending more than you earn, there are services that help people dig themselves out of debt and get back on their feet again. So, this conversation need not be all doom and gloom.
Of course, “There's no money in our bank account and I just got fired from my job,” is a very different conversation. But so long as you are still earning, you likely have options for how to recover from money problems.
Being poor is not always fatal, however. No more Saturday nights at the movies could mean great at-home dates watching videos. The planned vacation overseas could end up as a great stay-at-home vacation. In the real world, second best isn't always a disaster.

“I did something awful in my past.”
Almost everyone has a part of their past that isn't their finest bragging point. But if you've done something truly embarrassing and this gets discovered, then you may have a tough dialogue ahead of you.
I have a friend who got into a car accident as a teenager and someone was killed. It has faded from his memory conveniently, but it never goes completely away. When he met his wife-to-be, he certainly had to get this off his chest. It was too big an event to ignore if he wanted a trusting relationship.
Helpful hint: One of the problems with something awful in your past is that it can form a wedge in a relationship. Try discussing it from an emotional standpoint. How did it make you feel then? How do you feel about it now? That allows your significant other to connect with you about the event.

“I think you have an addiction problem.”
The standardized approach to confronting someone about an addiction is called an intervention. This is generally done with several family members and close friends. It entails sitting the addict down and having this group confront them with irrefutable facts that show how bad an addiction has gotten.
The idea is to blast past the addict's denial over their addiction.
This type of conversation has a specific purpose, which is essentially to convince the addict they are in more pain than they believe. This is because addicts decide to stop their addiction when they hit rock bottom – when they realize the pain it is causing is worse than the pleasure they are getting from the addiction.
Helpful hints: Find the right mental health facility for a loved one before you begin the intervention, but remember a therapist in the room is not always a good idea during an intervention, because addicts tend to distrust people they perceive as standing between them and their source of pleasure. Do some research and seek professional help beforehand, but don't invite them to the intervention unless there are special circumstances that demand the presence of a therapist or social worker.

“I don't like your family.”
This is a conversation you might think is tacky. But your significant other won't take it that way. They will feel bluntly disrespected by this news.
The point is, good bad or indifferent, your family is part of who you are. Even if you dislike your family yourself, someone else telling you they don't like them is going to go over like a lead balloon.
This can be a long-term disruption of your relationship with your spouse.
Helpful hint: Everyone has a few redeeming qualities and you should focus on that. If an in-law is truly horrific, that's called the game of life. Your job is to win the game, not turn it into a battleground.

“I've Slept With Someone Else”
This is so devastating most of the time, that there's no need to discuss the fine details. The news is too unholy for most to remember how you spent weeks trying to get the wording just right.
Just to put it out there, Plan B is to keep this indiscretion to yourself.
If that sounds like an horrific idea, then it is probably not an option for you. But the reasoning follows that sleeping with someone else is a surefire way to hurt your relationship. Telling the other party about it is just a way of hurting them twice.
You'll just have to decided whether or not what you did was an indiscreet one-time mistake or whether it was a telltale sign that trust will never be restored. Remember, relationships pivot on trust, not love. Love changes over time. It has good days and bad days. But trust is trust. It doesn't have good and bad days. It just is what it is.

I got this email from one of my new readers and I wanted to share with you guys so you can also add your perspective. Now this post is not about inter-cultural relationships or the people in the email in particular, I just want us to share our experiences about Nigerian love and romance. How do we keep our relationships fresh and fun?

Hi Myne! I ran across your very interesting site as I was attempting to find a romantic name or phrase for my new friend, (insert igbo male name here). He is Nigerian... but I am already smitten. We both ... agreed to keep our courtship fresh and fun. i know nothing about African men...what offends them, their culture. Could u help me understand the culture a little better please?! Thanks in Advance...




I'll use Atala and I as an example. I am from Asaba and can only speak Igbo fluently, with very small dashes of Hausa and Yoruba. Atala is Yoruba but barely speaks it, I've never heard him hold a conversation in it. So, we speak English to each other, all the time. I'm not very good with new languages but we try to teach each other bits and pieces of Yoruba and Igbo in fun ways. We're not succeeding much I can tell you

Now to the romance bit. I don't know about you all, but there are times when English is not enough and I just want to express my love in my mother tongue. Now, I don't think Igbos are given to vocal outbursts of affection but they are not completely without either so I have a few in my arsenal.I have also heard about what the Yoruba call Oriki (praise singing) and find it awesome. I wish I could do that, I would be rubbing Atala's head everyday, the guy is just too much. Of course some of it will fly over his head, lol...

Some words and phrases, both Igbo and Yoruba I use at sweet moments include Obim(my heart), Nkem (my own), Ife mi (my love), Usom (my sweetie), Oko mi (my husband), and Nwoke oma (good man). Those versed in titles can add more like - Nwoke di mma Nwoke eji eje mba, Ife nkili, etc (Please add more). Oh yes, I love you in Igbo is A hurum gi n'anya, and in Yoruba, mo fe e

You re in a fix... If i were you i'd explain everything to her.... Yes the whole truth..

Sometimes I wonder why the ones we love put us through undue duress. We need the advice no though, but why can't they let us make the decision..

Sad

she stopped answering my calls. at first her phone would ring nonstop while i sat on the edge of my seat listening to her caller tune, and expecting her voice to break through the melody but it never did.
the caller tune eventually got replaced by a robotic, monotonous voice telling me the number i was trying to call was not available.

some nights, i swear i could feel a weariness in the robotic voice as if it was tired of repeating "the number you are trying to call is not available" over and over again.

she had not been on Facebook and her other social media accounts in a long while and in between sending her messages on all the accounts, I had dug deep into her archives and learnt a bit about her online history, like the day she joined Facebook: April 3rd 2009.

her first twitter post: December 16 2011. her Google plus account which she opened but never used describing herself in the profile info as a chocolate addict and obsessed with babies. and that's truly who she was, she had big feelings about the little things.

one evening after work, while nursing a beer with Stanley, my old friend, I let slip that I'd been trying to communicate with her.
his eyes grew wide, startled.
"that's crazy", he said, his right hand holding the glass of beer paused in mid air.
"its almost a year, you should move on".
"I know", I mumbled.
"and I know its not really our thing down here but perhaps you should consider seeing a shrink or something", he continued.
"I will", I replied noncommittally, "by the way did you hear what the president said about last night's bomb blast in Maiduguri, ridiculous ain't it?" I asked, effectively changing the subject.
nothing could hold Stanley's mind as strongly as news issues.
after the drink i drove home and took the long route which passed through her house. i knew she was no longer there but i slowed down while i drove past her gate. in the old times, she would have burst out clutching her bags and entered the car blessing me with a smile and the feminine fragrance she carried with her.
"how was your day", she'd ask
"it just began", I'd reply with a smile.

there were days too when she blessed me with the silent treatment, ha, but I was just content knowing she was with me and we were going to work things out. its all a memory now, yet more than a memory.

its 2:00am and I can't sleep. I turn on the radio and tune in to what seems to be a music request show. the presenter, a caramel voiced lady, calls out a number for those who want to call in. on impulse, i grab my phone and dial. I'm surprised when i get a busy dial tune, it makes me wonder how many people are awake by this time in the city.

I try the number again and it rings for a while and just as I'm thinking of dropping the call i hear the pick up beep and her voice floods into my ear.

"helooooo, thanks for calling kiss FM, what's your name and where are you calling from?"
"I'm Dee, calling from yaba", I reply
"welcome Dee, what song do you want me to play for ya and who are you dedicating the song to"
I close my eyes and try to think of a song, I open my eyes and it hits the clock.
"time after time by Cyndi lauper"
"oh niiiice, so who are you dedicating it to?"
"chioma"
"is today her birthday or is today a special celebration for her?"
"not really, just because"
"okayyyyy where is chioma?"
"she's not here"
"but where is she?"

I cut the call. I'm not sure she'll understand. nobody does. I go to the window and stare out. the city is speaking a language of empty streets, moonlight kissed rooftops and the wind's sigh. the world is a scary and beautiful place at 2:00am and its so hard being in a relationship with someone who is six feet under.

It is widely known and accepted that people who are obese are at greater risk of poor heart health.
But, a new study has reinforced the importance of maintaining a healthy weight throughout life.
Scientists warn those women who are obese in early adulthood are at increased risk of suffering sudden cardiac death later in life, even if they have shed their excess weight.
Dr Stephanie Chiuve, assistant professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School, and lead author of the study, said: 'We found that it is important to maintain a healthy weight throughout adulthood as a way to mimimise the risk of sudden cardiac death.'
'Excess weight or substantial weight gain may have an early or cumulative impact on the risk of sudden cardiac death that is not completely erased by weight loss later in life.'
Women who were obese in early adulthood are at greater risk of suffering sudden cardiac death later in life, even if they have lost their excess weight in the intervening years, experts have warned
+2
Women who were obese in early adulthood are at greater risk of suffering sudden cardiac death later in life, even if they have lost their excess weight in the intervening years, experts have warned
Researchers analysed data from the Nurses' health study, and followed 72,484 healthy women from 1980 to 2012.
Participants provided information about their height and weight at the start of the study, as they remembered it at 18 and, through questionnaires every two years during the study.
Researchers were then able to examine the relation between body mass index (BMI) and weight gain and the risk of suffering sudden cardiac death, death from coronary heart disease and non-fatal heart attacks.
RELATED ARTICLES
Previous
1
Next

The epidemic of baby boomers hooked on painkillers: HALF of...

More than one million Americans are at 'substantial risk of...

ADHD drug Ritalin 'should be prescribed with caution'...

Men's brains age FASTER than women's - making them more...
SHARE THIS ARTICLE
Share
34 shares
Over the 32-year period, researchers documented 445 cases of sudden cardiac death, 1,286 cases of fatal coronary heart disease and 2,272 non-fatal heart attacks.
BMI is a person's weight in relation to their height, and it is used to screen for people who are overweight or obese.
Sudden cardiac death is a sudden, unexpected death usually triggered by a lethal chaotic cardiac rhythm, which results in a loss of heart function.
In women, the sudden death is often the first manifestation of heart disease.
Sudden cardiac death is a sudden, unexpected death usually triggered by a lethal chaotic cardiac rhythm, which results in a loss of heart function
+2
Sudden cardiac death is a sudden, unexpected death usually triggered by a lethal chaotic cardiac rhythm, which results in a loss of heart function
Women with a higher BMI during adulthood had a greater risk of sudden cardiac death, Dr Chiuve's team found.
Women who were overweight, with a BMI of 25 to 30, and obese, a BMI of 30 or greater, were 1.5 times and two times respectively, more likely to experience sudden cardiac death in the next two years, when compared with women with a healthy BMI.
Women who were overweight or obese at the start of the study, or obese at age 18, had an elevated risk of sudden cardiac death over the entire course of the study.
The scientists found weight gain in early-to-mid adulthood was linked to a greater risk of sudden cardiac death regardless of BMI at age 18.
The risk of sudden cardiac death was twice as high in women who gained 44 pounds or more during early to mid-adulthood.
Dr Chiuve said: 'Nearly three-quarters of all sudden cardiac deaths occur in patients not considered to be high-risk based on current guidelines.
'We must seek broader prevention strategies to reduce the burden of sudden cardiac death in the general population.'
Women with higher BMI had a greater risk of fatal coronary heart disease, and non-fatal heart attacks, though the link was weaker compared with sudden cardiac death.
David Wilber, editor-in-chief of JACC: Clinical Electrophysiology, which published the study, said: 'This study adds to a growing body of evidence that the adverse effects of obesity on cardiac rhythm, in this case, sudden death risk, begin in early adulthood.
'It underscores the need for earlier identification and treatment of high risk individuals.'
Observational studies such as this one cannot determine cause and effect, and factors not measured could impact the results, though this study controlled for numerous clinical and lifestyle factors.
The Nurses' Health Study includes a population of educated, primarily white women and may not apply to other ethnic groups. All studies with self-reported measures have some degree of error, the researchers note.



Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3334260/If-obese-18-increases-risk-sudden-cardiac-death-later-life-lose-weight.html#ixzz3saxXo9HS
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

Kinda true... Our girls are more restricted

Ice T gives top 10 reasons why black men prefer to be with white women

He's married to a white woman so he must be speaking for himself. Ni**a, if you go black, you ain't never gonna go white! Lol. Below is what Ice T told Complex mag about the difference between a white girl and a black girl.
The white girl topic is like the elephant in the room right now. Everyone sees it, but no one wants to acknowledge it. Well I say why not acknowledge said elephant. So here’s 10 reasons black men prefer white girls (if you’re offended, f#ck you and your feelings).
10. White girls can get their hair wet. It’s summertime. Who wants to be at the pool with a girl who’ only concern is not getting her weave wet. White girls just jump in the pool without any care.

09. White girls don’t talk back. Put a little aggression in your voice and she will do whatever you say. That doesn’t fly with other races though. They wanna fight. Always.
08. It’ easier introducing them to your family/friends. “Everyone, this is Amber," is WAY easier on the ears than, “Everyone, this is Shaniqua. Just saying.
07. White girls have WAY less restrictions in the bedroom than other races. You can basically do whatever, wherever with them. And they’ll smile through it all.
06. White girls aren’t looking to be in a rap video. Meaning when y’all go out, she’s not looking for you to buy out the bar and light the club up with sparklers. She doesn’t care about any of that sh*t. She just wants her drinks and music.
05. White girls have no problem spoiling their men with gifts. The LOVE that shit! It’s an ego boost for them. (See Kim Kardashian’s birthday present to Kanye? OK then.)
04. White girls don’t give you as many headaches as other races. There’s no nagging, complaining, and other annoying ass behavior. No running through your phone and wanting to know who such and such is.
03. White girls cater to and love to take care of their men. Cooking? No problem. Cleaning? No problem. Anything else you want? No problem.
02. You ever receive head from a white girl? I rest my case.
Which all really sums up my number 1 reason black guys prefer white women:
01. White girls are just more FUN. There’s no other way to put it. If you just want to have fun without any of the negative sh*t, get you a white girl.

STFUareyouGod:
.

hmm

Saddist

All this Westerners ehn Hall pass ke.... Don't need it, can't grant it

Conditions...unrealistic

How coffee could give you mouth ulcers: From heart pills to blueberries, the surprising causes of those painful sores
One in five of us suffers from recurrent bouts of mouth ulcers
Can be a sign that something in the body is not working so well
We look at what could be causing your mouth ulcers and what you can do
By JO WATERS FOR THE DAILY MAIL
PUBLISHED: 01:23, 24 November 2015 | UPDATED: 09:06, 24 November 2015

42
shares
55
View comments
Ulcers are often the sign of physical trauma - bashing your gums with your toothbrush, say, or ill‑fitting dentures.
While they can make it painful to eat or talk normally, they usually clear up on their own within days.
But one in five of us suffers from recurrent bouts of mouth ulcers which often have no obvious cause.
Scroll down for video
Crohn's disease, iron deficiency anaemia and vitamin B12 deficiency can all lead to ulcers
+5
Crohn's disease, iron deficiency anaemia and vitamin B12 deficiency can all lead to ulcers
Persistent ulcers can be a sign that 'something in the body is not working as well as it should', explains Stephen Porter, professor of oral medicine at the University College London Eastman Dental Institute.
Conditions such as Crohn's disease, iron deficiency anaemia and vitamin B12 deficiency can all lead to lingering ulcers that won't easily heal.
'The key is not what each ulcer looks like, but how long it takes to heal. Any that hang around longer than three weeks need referral for investigations, as there could be an underlying medical issue,' adds Professor Porter.
RELATED ARTICLES
Previous
1
Next
Chrome tap / faucet with water dripping from it
ASK THE DOCTOR: Why won't my nose ever stop running?
FML - Mary Nike
Mary Nike, 58, breast cancer patient who has had a remarkable result from using metformin, a low cost drug normally used for diabetes but which has been found by repeated studies to interrupt cancer growth.
Photo credit : Chris Winter
Scandal of patients denied 5p pill that srinks cancer: Last...
FML - Rose Moody..Rose with son Archie, aged 3...Rose had a CTG when pregnant with Archie and it failed to detect a problem with the baby. The problem was only picked up when she pushed to have an ultrasound scan. As a result Archie has suffered some health problems (although is now doing well). ..Photo credit : Chris Winter
Pregnant woman in excruciating pain went back to hospital...
Heart with plaster.
ME AND MY OPERATION: Hi-tech op to scorch away the nerves...
SHARE THIS ARTICLE
Share
42 shares
Here, we look at what could be causing your mouth ulcers and what you can do about them...
IT COULD BE STRESS - OR YOUR PERIOD
The most common form of ulcer is called an aphthous ulcer. These look like a typical ulcer: round or oval sores, and are usually under 10 mm in diameter.
What sets aphthous ulcers apart from more ordinary ulcers is that they usually take two or three weeks to clear without treatment, and the person affected is otherwise generally well. Typically, there is no obvious cause, although one theory is that they are linked to stress.
The most common form of ulcer is called an aphthous ulcer. Some women develop them during their period
+5
The most common form of ulcer is called an aphthous ulcer. Some women develop them during their period
Some people do report that aphthous mouth ulcers crop up when they are under pressure, and some women develop them during their period, but this is unproven, says Professor Porter.
'It may just be that these people are hypersensitive to pain when their body is under stress, so they notice mouth ulcers that might at other times not trouble them.
'Another theory, though unproven, is that stress suppresses the immune system which in turn changes the lining of the mouth,' he says.
The pain from ulcers is caused by their proximity to underlying nerves.
SENSITIVITY TO CHOCS AND COFFEE
The reason is a sensitivity to theobromine, an alkaloid found in chocolate
+5
The reason is a sensitivity to theobromine, an alkaloid found in chocolate
Eating blueberries, strawberries, blackberries or even chocolate can trigger a mouth ulcer in some people.
The reason is a sensitivity to theobromine, an alkaloid found in chocolate; or to salicylic acid, found in blueberries, blackberries and strawberries. These substances are also found in coffee, almonds, cheese and tomatoes.
'A few people report developing mouth ulcers after eating these foods - but it's not technically an allergy and is not accompanied by other allergic symptoms, such as hives,' says Maureen Jenkins, a clinical adviser with the charity Allergy UK. Such ulcers disappear within a week.
LACK OF IRON OR VITAMIN B12
If you regularly develop ulcers and feel tired all the time, it might be worth reviewing your diet.
Deficiencies in vitamin B12 and iron can both lead to mouth ulcers, because the cells of the lining of the mouth need these nutrients to regenerate efficiently.
'These ulcers may look the same as aphthous ulcers, but they would be accompanied by symptoms of feeling unwell, such as tiredness and breathlessness,' says Professor Porter.
These ulcers may look the same as aphthous ulcers, but they would be accompanied by symptoms of feeling unwell
Iron deficiency anaemia, a condition where a lack of iron leads to a reduction in the number of red blood cells, is common in women of childbearing age if they experience heavy periods and in pregnancy.
The most common cause of B12 deficiency is pernicious anaemia, an autoimmune condition. This causes the body to attack cells in the stomach which produce a protein called instrinisic factor, which aids B12 absorption. Older people are especially at risk of this.
For some, it may simply be that their diet is lacking in these nutrients - B12 is commonly found in meat, milk and eggs, while iron is in red meat and green leafy veg such as kale as well as brown rice.
'When an iron or B12 deficiency is at play, the cause must be identified and rectified, although patients may also need iron supplements or B12 injections,' says Professor Porter.
'Once iron or vitamin B12 levels return to normal, the mouth ulcers will go away.'
Top tips to help you get more iron in your daily diet
Loaded: 0%Progress: 0%00:00
Play
Mute
Current Time 0:00
/
Duration Time 0:00
Fullscreen
Need Text
TOO FIRM A TOOTHBRUSH
Just using a firm toothbrush can also damage the lining of the mouth, and that can lead to an ulcer
+5
Just using a firm toothbrush can also damage the lining of the mouth, and that can lead to an ulcer
Dentures, orthodontic braces, ill-fitting dental plates, and even the sharp edges of your own teeth can all cause ulcers if they cut the lining of the mouth, explains Dr Uchenna Okoye, a dentist from the London Smiling clinic.
It's usually obvious what is causing the problem, so see your dentist and ask for adjustments to be made to the offending brace or dentures. Dentists can also smooth down a sharp tooth.
Just using a firm toothbrush can also damage the lining of the mouth, and that can lead to an ulcer. Switching to a soft-bristle toothbrush may also help if you frequently cause bristle damage.
SYMPTOM OF GUT DISEASE
Recurrent mouth ulcers - especially those accompanied by tiredness and weight loss - may be a sign of coeliac disease. This autoimmune condition causes an adverse reaction to gluten, a protein found in wheat, barley and rye.
'The antibodies released by the immune system in response to gluten damage the lining of the gut, so nutrients such as iron and folate are not absorbed properly,' explains Professor Chris Hawkey, a gastroenterologist and chairman of gut and liver charity CORE. 'These are needed for cell repair, including in the mouth.'
A blood test or biopsy of the gut is used to diagnose coeliac disease. Ulcers with a 'cobblestone' appearance or that form in straight lines and are deeper than a standard ulcer could be a sign of Crohn's disease.
Caused by inflammation in the lining of the gut from the mouth to the anus, Crohn's gives rise to symptoms such as diarrhoea, abdominal pain and weight loss, and can also trigger larger ulcers.
Giving up cigarettes brings major health benefits, but some people develop ulcers in the days or weeks after they give up
+5
Giving up cigarettes brings major health benefits, but some people develop ulcers in the days or weeks after they give up
'Mouth ulcers caused by Crohn's tend to be more like swollen raised lumps,' says Professor Hawkey.
These sometimes, though not usually, occur before gut symptoms.
QUITTING SMOKING CAN TRIGGER THEM
Giving up cigarettes brings major health benefits, but some people develop ulcers in the days or weeks after they give up.
'One theory is that smoking hardens the lining of the mouth, which increases its resistance to physical damage,' says Professor Porter. 'When you give up, this resistance goes down, so you are more likely to develop them.
'They are basically aphthous ulcers - it is just that smoking has previously masked them.'
IT COULD BE YOUR PAINKILLERS
everyday non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs such as ibuprofen, or beta-blockers such as propranolol (to treat heart disease and high blood pressure), can increase the risk of a mouth ulcer.
Immunosuppressant drugs including methotrexate (for rheumatoid arthritis) and drugs which can cause a dry mouth, such as the antidepressant amitriptyline, can also raise the risk, as can the angina drug nicorandil.
'Ulcers caused by nicorandil are usually quite large and more dramatic than ordinary mouth ulcers and can occur anywhere from the mouth to the anus,' says Professor Hawkey.
These drugs may interfere with the body's immune defence mechanisms, allowing them to attack the lining of the mouth.
'Chemotherapy and radiotherapy can also cause temporary mouth ulcers because they slow down cell division throughout the body, and the cells in the lining of the mouth don't repair quickly enough,' says Professor Hawkey.
SIGNS OF ORAL CANCER
In rare cases, what looks like a mouth ulcer can actually be a sign of oral cancer, which affects 6,000 people a year.
'These are almost always single ulcers that have no obvious physical causes, such as trauma, and do not get better with over-the-counter mouthwash or gel,' says Professor Porter.
'It might not even feel painful. The key thing is that it doesn't heal within three weeks. Most oral cancers are diagnosed too late because patients think they have a harmless mouth ulcer.'
[Signs of oral cancer are almost always single ulcers that have no obvious physical causes, such as trauma, and do not get better with over-the-counter mouthwash or gel
Other symptoms include white or red patches on the inside of the mouth, difficulty swallowing, speech problems, a lump in the neck and weight loss.
WHAT TO DO TO BEAT THE PAIN
AVOID HARD AND ACIDIC FOODS
For people prone to ulcers, hard foods (including toast and crisps) may cut or rub against the ulcer, while acidic foods (such as citrus fruits and vinegar) can make ulcers sting.
USE A GEL BEFORE BED
Over-the-counter gels such as Bonjela - which contains choline salicylates, a type of non-steroidal anti-inflammatory - reduce pain (there are specially formulated versions for children).
Yvonne Lee, a dental adviser with the British Dental Health Foundation helpline, says: 'Apply gels an hour and a half before you eat to get the numbing effects when you need it, or when you go to bed so the gel is undisturbed in your mouth.' Other treatments for adults include topical painkillers such as benzydamine hydrochloride, a mouthwash or spray with painkilling properties.
Another option is anti-microbial mouthwashes such as chlorohexidine to kill the bacteria that might make your mouth ulcer worse.
Sprays or gels containing local anaesthetics such as lidocaine can numb the pain.
TAKE A STEROID
Low-strength topical corticosteroids (such as hydrocortisone buccal tablets, which dissolve in the mouth next to the ulcer) can reduce the duration and severity of mouth ulcers, but won't stop new ones forming.


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3331069/How-coffee-mouth-ulcers-heart-pills-blueberries-surprising-causes-painful-sores.html#ixzz3sPJDOnqs
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

Are the Freemasons even MORE powerful than anyone thought? Conspiracy theories have flourished for years. But a secret archive reveals how their members may have shaped Britain's history
By GUY WALTERS FOR THE DAILY MAIL
PUBLISHED: 00:55, 24 November 2015 | UPDATED: 07:45, 24 November 2015

201
shares
341
View comments
For centuries, they have shrouded themselves in secrecy. So murky is their history, their origins are opaque even to themselves.
Their rituals are conducted in private, with members swearing a melodramatic oath that threatens them with ‘having my throat cut across, my tongue torn out by its roots and buried in the rough sands of the sea at low-water mark’ should it be violated.
But what’s inspired endless rumour and speculation is how the influence of this shadowy organisation reaches to the very heart of the Establishment — to senior politicians, high-ranking military men, diplomats and spies, chief constables and scientists.
Square and compasses: The very mention of the Freemasonry - one of the world’s oldest and biggest non-religious organisations - is guaranteed to prompt a rash of contradictory reactions
+2
Square and compasses: The very mention of the Freemasonry - one of the world’s oldest and biggest non-religious organisations - is guaranteed to prompt a rash of contradictory reactions
They are, of course, the Freemasons. And according to a secret membership archive open to the public for the first time, the number of leading figures in British history is likely to be even greater than conspiracy theorists would have you believe.
RELATED ARTICLES
Previous
1
Next

Freemasons fixed inquiry into Titanic to protect...

Jack the Ripper was an 'obscure singer who was protected by...
SHARE THIS ARTICLE
Share
The newly released list of two million names includes at least five kings (most recently Edward VII, Edward VIII and George VI), the present Duke of Kent, statesmen Winston Churchill and Lord Kitchener, military genius the Duke of Wellington, authors Rudyard Kipling and Arthur Conan Doyle, England manager Sir Alf Ramsey, the explorer Ernest Shackleton, the scientist who discovered penicillin, Sir Alexander Fleming — and flamboyant playwright Oscar Wilde.
According to estimates, there are 250,000 Masons in Britain and six million Masons worldwide. They may be relatively few in number, but they wield considerable influence across all sections of society.
DID THEY COVER UP THE TRUTH ABOUT TITANIC SINKING?
Not long after the Titanic sank on April 14, 1912, there were calls on both sides of the Atlantic for an inquiry not only into why the liner went down on its maiden voyage, but why there was such an extraordinary loss of life.
Iceberg: The inquiry in Britain into the sinking of the Titanic appeared lenient to the point of farce
Iceberg: The inquiry in Britain into the sinking of the Titanic appeared lenient to the point of farce
In the U.S., the Senate blamed not only the vessel’s owner, the White Star Line, but also the British Board of Trade for allowing her to sail with far too few lifeboats.
In Britain, however, the official inquiry appeared lenient to the point of farce — possibly owing to the high-level involvement of a number of leading Masons who may have had a vested interest in covering up for their fellow members.
The investigation was headed by a Free-mason — Lord Mersey — initiated into a lodge in London in 1881. The President of the Board of Trade, Sydney Buxton, was a Mason, who was also a member of a London lodge.
It is claimed that Lord Pirrie, the chairman of the Belfast shipyard that built the Titanic and a director of White Star’s parent company, was a Mason.
And, furthermore, two of the inquiry’s experts were Freemasons. Professor John Biles, a specialist in naval architecture, had joined the Clausentum Lodge in Woolston in Hampshire in 1890, and Edward Chaston, a senior marine engineer, had been initiated into the St Nicholas Lodge in Newcastle the same year.
Today, we cannot be sure that all these men deliberately worked together to undermine the investigation, but the strong suspicion is that it was in their common interest for the inquiry to be a whitewash — as many believe it proved to be.
It concluded that the Board of Trade’s oversight and regulation, the White Star Line and the captain were not to blame. It was the fault of excessive speed and the iceberg.
The very mention of the Freemasonry — one of the world’s oldest and biggest non-religious organisations — is guaranteed to prompt a rash of contradictory reactions. Defenders rightly point to its tradition of charity fund-raising and official websites promote it as an ‘enjoyable hobby’.
Indeed, the website of the United Grand Lodge of England recommends it for ‘making new friends and acquaintances’.
But do such close friendships lead to too much power being vested in individuals who favour fellow Masons in everything from promotions to business deals? Membership lists are notoriously hard to get hold of, making it difficult to detect corruption.
Others believe the Freemasons, with their arcane ceremonies, secret handshakes, lambskin aprons, embroidered sashes and gold rings, and their ornate symbols — the square, the compass — are more the stuff of pantomime.
There aren’t many ‘private societies’, after all, whose members swear an oath blindfolded, bare-chested, with nooses around their necks and a dagger to the heart — and with the left trouser leg rolled up.
Yesterday, however, proved to be a field day for those who claim the Freemasons are a force not for good, but for bad.
Working from the complete English Masonic membership records dating from 1751 to 1921, genealogical website Ancestry has established that at least five people associated with the official inquiry into the sinking of the Titanic were Freemasons. It argues this may have influenced the findings, which exonerated most of the key figures involved.
It was also claimed yesterday that one of the most notorious murderers in British history may also have been a Mason.
According to a new book by Bruce Robinson, the writer of the cult film Withnail & I, none other than Jack the Ripper was a Freemason. It begs the question whether his identity was covered up, allowing him to carry on with his murderous campaign in which five women died.
The websites of modern-day Masonic lodges, some of which pay at least lip-service to being less secretive, talk virtuously of how it is frowned upon for a member to use his Masonic status for a career leg-up.
But down the centuries, their clandestine activities have — however unfairly — convinced many that as a fraternity they were collectively up to no good.
There have been glimpses of serious wrongdoing. The late Yorkshire architect and Freemason John Poulson was jailed for seven years after being found guilty in 1974 of bribing public figures to win contracts.
The judge called Poulson an ‘incalculably evil man’ and his conviction precipitated the 1972 resignation of Conservative Home Secretary Reginald Maudling, who had been a director of Poulson’s firm.
Freemasons’ origins in Britain seem to date back at least to the late 14th century. The Freemasons believe their roots — and their very name, and hence their symbols — lie in the masons who built the great medieval cathedrals, such as Salisbury, started in 1220.
Certainly, by the end of the 17th century, there were several lodges — as the individual Masonic societies are known — dotted around the British Isles, with at least seven in London.
It was in the capital that four lodges came together in June 1717 to form the first ‘Grand Lodge’, which published its first minutes and constitution in 1723.
DID THEY AID ROAD-RAGE KILLER?
Freemason: 'Infamous villain' Kenneth Noye
Freemason: 'Infamous villain' Kenneth Noye
Kenneth Noye, who is serving a life sentence for the ‘road rage’ murder of Stephen Cameron in 1996, was once dubbed Britain’s ‘most infamous villain’.
He also happens to have been a Freemason.
A criminal from a young age, Noye (pictured) ran a protection racket at school, stole money from his local Woolworths and did a stretch in borstal for selling stolen bicycles.
His apprenticeship in villainy over, he spent his 20s immersed in the criminal underworld and was eventually arrested in 1977, aged 30, for handling stolen goods.
Noye managed to avoid being charged, partly because he was a police informer, but also perhaps because he had decided to join a Hammersmith-based lodge of the Freemasons that same year.
It later emerged that he was even put up for membership by two police officers, and rose to become Master of the Lodge.
Over the next few years, Noye built up a criminal empire with activities all over the globe.
He smuggled gold and drugs and was involved in the infamous Brink’s-MAT robbery of 1983.
His Masonic status could not spare him from a 14-year jail sentence for that crime. He was finally kicked out of the Free-masons — but not until three years after his conviction.
Within a few decades, the Masons started to attract to their number some of the most influential men in London society, including members of the Royal Society, artists and writers such as William Hogarth and Alexander Pope, and members of the aristocracy, right up to dukes.
In 1776, the Freemasons opened a sumptuous hall as their Grand Lodge in Great Queen Street, Central London. This was replaced in the Thirties by the monolithic Freemasons’ Hall.
Their web of influence spread throughout the country and society. Some lodges met at taverns and inns — and today, many taxi drivers, plumbers and even dustmen are Masons. There are two lodges for women Masons.
While the Freemasons insist their private meetings do not mask anything nefarious, that was not universally so. In the late 18th century, for example, a lodge in Brentford was accused of plotting to kill George III. The conspiracy did nothing to deter his two sons, George IV and William IV, from becoming Masons.
Freemasonry really took off in the wake of the two world wars. In the three years after World War I, 350 lodges were established, and in three years after World War II, nearly 600 were set up.
The Freemasons claim this was due to an increased number of men ‘who wanted to continue the camaraderie they had built up during their war service, and were looking for a calm centre in a greatly changed and changing world’.
That may well be so, but it does not answer the question that many have asked about their activities for nearly three centuries: who benefits from whatever it is they do? The Masons themselves or is it society at large?
The Freemasons do not deny that much of their generosity is allocated to themselves and their dependants, often in the forms of healthcare and education. But there is nothing wrong in creating a society for mutual benefit.
And good causes benefit. Each year they give £1 million to the Royal College of Surgeons ‘for the betterment of mankind’. Most members are surely honest, decent and altruistic.
But it is hardly surprising, given the closed way members go about their business, that cynics maintain some Masons’ primary ambition is to give each other favours and backhanders, turn blind eyes, wave through promotions, sign contracts and bestow all manner of benefits not available to others.
So, are the cynics right? Read the stories on this page and judge for yourself.
DID THEY SHIELD THE TRUE IDENTITY OF JACK THE RIPPER?
Killings: The murders carried out by Jack the Ripper in 1888 have been blamed on scores of individuals
+2
Killings: The murders carried out by Jack the Ripper in 1888 have been blamed on scores of individuals
As any ‘Ripperologist’ will tell you, the murders carried out by Jack the Ripper in the East End of London in 1888 have been blamed on scores of individuals — from the author Lewis Carroll to the artist Walter Sickert, and even the Duke of Clarence, eldest son of Edward VII.
However, a new book by the scriptwriter Bruce Robinson — They All Love Jack: Busting The Ripper — claims the killer could have been the singer Michael Maybrick, who, despite his lowly occupation, was on the Supreme Grand Council of Freemasons and protected by a police force riddled with Freemasonry.
Robinson argues that strange graffiti found at one murder scene consisted of Masonic symbols. More grisly still, he claims the wounds carved into the face of victim Catherine Eddowes were a pair of compasses — symbols associated with Freemasonry.
‘The whole of the ruling class was Masonic, from the heir to the throne down,’ says Robinson. ‘Part of the whole ethic of Freemasonry is whatever it is, however it’s done, you protect the brotherhood — and that’s what happened.’
Thanks to the recent release of the Freemasons’ archives, we can see that many figures associated with the investigations were members of the secret society.
The Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Charles Warren, for example, and his colleague Chief Inspector Donald Swanson were Masons, as were two coroners who ruled on the murders.
Furthermore, three of the police doctors who examined the victims were Freemasons.
‘They weren’t protecting the Ripper, they were protecting the system he was threatening,’ says Robinson. ‘And to protect the system, they had to protect him. And the Ripper knew it.’


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3331288/Are-Freemasons-powerful-thought-Conspiracy-theories-flourished-years-secret-archive-reveals-members-shaped-Britain-s-history.html#ixzz3sPDXUDMR
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

Slick

Galileo nii... Your intend in sharing the knowledge is recommendable.. but Galileo c'mon

Ok