₦airaland Forum

seriously,I knw nigeria is nt yet d
country bt I still insist that our
independence is worth celebrating
because if you cant be grateful for the
little you have u will never be grateful
even if d whole goodies of the world
is
given to you. , what is ur own view on
celebrating our independence

seriously,I knw nigeria is nt yet d
country bt I still insist that our
independence is worth celebrating
because if you cant be grateful for the
little you have u will never be grateful
even if d whole goodies of the world is
given to you. , what is ur own view on celebrating our independence

i can arrest shekau , if FG is ready to pay me , NB: i dont trust obama dollars , i only understand naira

5 things American Movies Teach Us:
1. Chinese Have Nothing Better To Do
Than Teaching Or Practice Kung Fu.
2. More Than 50% Of U.S. Population
Are FBI/CIA Agents,
Working Undercover.
3. The Purpose Of School System Of
U.S. Is To Promote Basketball /
Baseball.
4. Aliens Have Special Interest In
Attacking U.S.
5. U.S. Is A Place Where You Can Meet
All Mythical Creatures Like Werewolves
& Vampires.
5 things Indian Movies Teach Us:
1. At Least One Of The Identical Twins
Is Born Evil.
2. While Defusing A Bomb, Do Not
Worry, Whichever Wire You Cut… You
“Always Choose The Right One".
3. A Hero Will Show No Pain, While
Getting Beaten Up; But Will Show Pain
When A Girl Cleans Up His
Wound.
4. A Detective Can Solve A Case Only
When He Is Suspended From Duty.
*The Most Hilarious*
5. If You Decide To Start Dancing On
The Street, Everyone You Meet Will
Know The Steps.

nt me joor , prof akpors is at work

Globally known Forbes Magazine
has published the much awaited
'Cash Kings' list of 2013 - the annual
rating which shows the World's
Highest-Paid Hip-Hop Artists - on
September 24, 2013!
Diddy tops this year's list of hip-
hop's top earners, pulling in $50
million over the past 12 months. See
who has also been noted by Forbes
this year…
See the top moguls in pictures:
1.Diddy - $50million
2. Jay Z - $43million
3. Dr Dre - $40million
4. Nicki Minaj - $29million
5. Birdman - $21million
6. Kanye West - $20million
7. Lil Wayne - $16 million
8. Wiz Khalifa - $14million
9. Ludacris - $12 million
10. Pitbull - $11million
11. Drake - $10.5million
12. Snoop Lion - $10million
12. Eminen - $10 million
14. Kendrink Lamar - $9million
14. Pharrel Williams - $9million
14. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis - $9
million
17. Swizz Beatz - $8.5million
18. Tech N9ne - $7.5 million
19. 50cent - $7million
20. Lil Jon - $6million
20. Rick Ross - $6million
20. Mac Miller - $6 million
20. Young Jeezy - $6 million
20. Questlove - $6 million
Is your favourite artist also in the list?

is this fair

tanx for d comments , actually i just download it from koolwap.in yesterday, any1 who have problem with GP can download 2go or any app for android there

Prior to launching BBM for
Android,
an unreleased version of the BBM
for
Android app was posted online.
The
interest and enthusiasm we have
seen
already – more than 1.1 million
active
users in the first 8 hours without
even
launching the official Android app
– is
incredible. Consequently, this
unreleased version caused issues,
which we have attempted to
address
throughout the day.
Our teams continue to work
around
the clock to bring BBM to Android
and
iPhone, but only when it’s ready
and
we know it will live up to your
expectations of BBM. We are
pausing
the global roll-out of BBM for
Android
and iPhone. Customers who have
already downloaded BBM for
iPhone
will be able to continue to use
BBM.
The unreleased Android app will
be
disabled, and customers who
downloaded it should visit
wwwBBMcom to register for
updates
on official BBM for Android
availability.
As soon as we are able, we will
begin
a staggered country roll-out of
BBM
for Android and continue the roll-
out
of BBM for iPhone.

Prior to launching BBM for Android,
an unreleased version of the BBM for
Android app was posted online. The
interest and enthusiasm we have seen
already – more than 1.1 million active
users in the first 8 hours without even
launching the official Android app – is
incredible. Consequently, this
unreleased version caused issues,
which we have attempted to address
throughout the day.
Our teams continue to work around
the clock to bring BBM to Android and
iPhone, but only when it’s ready and
we know it will live up to your
expectations of BBM. We are pausing
the global roll-out of BBM for Android
and iPhone. Customers who have
already downloaded BBM for iPhone
will be able to continue to use BBM.
The unreleased Android app will be
disabled, and customers who
downloaded it should visit
wwwBBMcom to register for updates
on official BBM for Android availability.
As soon as we are able, we will begin
a staggered country roll-out of BBM
for Android and continue the roll-out
of BBM for iPhone. Please follow
@BBM on Twitter for the latest
updates and go to www.BBM.com to
sign-up for updates about BBM for
Android and iPhone.

You have your original university certificate,original nysc discharge certificate, youroriginal o'level certificate, your first schoolleaving certificate, birth certificate, nationaland international passports, US Visa andother belongings like cloths, booksetc inyourtraveling bag.You entered a commercial bus,while disembarking from the bus youmistakenly carried another passenger's bagthat is exactly the same type with your own.On getting to your destination you discoverthat the bag you have carried is not yourownbecause instead of the certificates,books andcloths you should have in that bag, what youare seeing now is $20,000,000 (twentymillion US dollars).
wetin u go do !

Conversation Between a Rat and Man Rat: (with tiny voice) Hello Man: Hello, Who am I speaking with? Rat: Na Mr. John be dis abi? Man: Yes you are speaking with Mr. John, who is this please? Rat: So you no recognize my voice abi? Na me your Room Mate Man: You say what? Rat: Your Room Mate Rat. I dey your room now. Man: I beg your pardon? Rat: Which yeye pardon you dey beg. I never chop since yesterday wey you waka comot. I check that place you dey put food i no see anything. I check kitchen nothing. I even check your fridge no single food there. E be like say you wan kill me abi? No problem, I just say make I let you know say that your Certificate for inside your wardrobe wey dem write UNIVERSITY OF CALABAR, I don eat the ''CALA'' comot, if you no come house between now and tomorrow i go kidnap the remaining "BAR". Let me see which work you go get with ordinary UNIVERSITY.f

Did You Know that a popular motivational speaker addressing his audience said: " the best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!" The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: " And that woman was my mother!" There was laughter and applause. A Week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy/weary after a hard day's work. He said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner, " The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman whowas not my wife!" The wife went"ahhhh!" with shock and rage. Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out " .....and I can't remember who she was!" By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed nursing first degree burns from boiling cooking oil.MORAL OF THE STORY: Don't copy if you can't paste!

i av an andriod which googleplay is nt preinstalled on it , pls can any1 tell me how to install 2go on it, and i will also like to upgrade d andriod software , i need ur help , thanx

is it ucweb or opera or can any1 refer me to a beta1 which consume less data

True Love is Enough…feel it Not only by heart but
also by Soul
Awesome Story Must Read. . . .
Husband comes home drunk and breaks some
crockery,
vomits and falls down on the floor…
Wife pulls him up and cleans everything.
Next day wen he gets up he expects her to be
really angry wid him….
He prays that they should not have a
fight..
He finds a note near the table…
“Honey..your favorite breakfast is ready on the
table,
i had to leave early to buy grocery…
i will come running back to you, my love.
I love you. …
He gets surprised and asks his son..,
‘what happened last night..?
Son told…,”
when mom pulled you to bed and tried
removing your boots and shirt..
you were dead drunk and you said……
” Hey Lady ! Leave Me Alone…
I M Married !!!
That’s True Love…?
its all crazy ) so cute ?

Habaticalli!! ,this as neva hapen b4tically,hope this is nt a sign of endtimesticall

End time jokes

##A government official reading##

An old married couple is traveling by car.
Being
seniors, after almost eleven hours on the
road, they
were too tired to continue and decided to
take a
room. But, they only planned to sleep for four
hours
and then get back on the road.
When they checked out four hours later, the
desk clerk handed them a bill for $350.00.
The man explodes and demands to know
why the charge is so high. He told the clerk
although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly
aren't worth
$350.00 for four hours. Then the clerk tells
him that $350.00 is the 'standard rate'. He
insisted on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to him, and then
explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized
pool and a huge conference centre that were
available for us to use.
"But we didn't use them," the husband said.
"Well, they are here, and you could have,"
explained the Manager.
The Manager went on to explain that the
couple could also have taken in one of the
shows for which the hotel is famous. "We
have the best entertainers from New York ,
Hollywood , and Las Vegas perform here," the
Manager says.
"But we didn't go to any of those shows," the
husband said.
"Well, we have them, and you could have," the
Manager replied.
No matter what amenity the Manager
mentioned, the husband replied, "But we
didn't use it!"
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the
husband gave up and agreed to pay. As he
didn't have the check book, he asked his wife
to write the check. She did and gave it to the
Manager.
The Manager is surprised when he looks at
the check. "But ma'am, this is made out for
only $50.00."
"That's correct. I charged you $300.00 for
sleeping with me," she replied.
"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.
"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could
have."
**2*An old man goes to his doctor and says, "I
don't think my wife's hearing is as good as
it used to be. What should I do?"
The doctor replies, "Try this test to find out
for sure. When your wife is in the kitchen
doing dishes, stand 15 feet behind her and
ask her a question. If she doesn't respond
keep moving closer, asking the question
until she hears you."
The man goes home and sees his wife
preparing dinner. He stands 15 feet behind
her and says, "What's for dinner, honey?" No
response. He moves to 10 feet behind her
and asks again -- no response. Five feet, no
answer.
Finally, he stands directly behind her and
asks, "Honey, what's for supper?"
She says, "For the fourth time, I SAID
CHICKEN!"

On behalf of SKELEWU ENTERTAINMENt, C.EO (o.b.o)
Q -"what do u call a deer with no eye ",

booqee: which kain mumu thread be dis one gan??

which kind mumu people dey nland sef , frank6ta

Frank’s parents always complain about his
lifestyle – he would leave home and not
return for days, his academics was below
their expectations etc. While travelling with
his parents one night in their car, they were
stopped at Ore by a ruthless gang of armed
robbers, notorious for robbing, raping, killing
pple. After the usual initial gragra and
harassment of the parents, one of the
robbers noticed the guy at d back just sat
quietly, and did not obey any of their
commands, he flashed his torch in his face,
and screamed stop, stop, stop! Next thing u
knew – all d robbers saluted and hailed Frank;
Tuale sir! More blessing!!… They immediately
cleared the road and left Frank and his
parents to head home without being robbed.
Question: is Frank a blessing to his parents or
not?

HAVE u ever seen any devoted christain , he
or she believes they are in d right WAY, they
believe anyONE who does nOt believe in
CHRIST will surely go to HELL ,while the
believers will goto HEAVEN , (is all goood),
and the same goes for a real MUSLIM ,
(sighs) , the question is which one of this
two religion is the right WAY , (waiiiiti),
some months ago i picked up a paper
accidentally, after reading this paper , i was
really shocked , as the content is too much
for my RELIGOUS LIFE , to cut the long story
short , i was ask to spread the gospel in dat
paper as it was a mandate from heaven ,
infact there is a reward for spreading it ,
and there is a sanction for keeping it to my
self , actually i have no choice but to ignore
it , after some months , i picked up paper @
my backyard (after reading it , m like have
gat to stop picking Up papers) it has d same
mesage JUST LIKE the first paper , though it
is a muslim version, so whats d big
question? , ACCORDING TO WHAT I READ IN
THE TWO PAPERS, IF THESE MESSAGES ARE
REALLY SENT FROM HEAVEN , DO WE HAVE 2
HEAVENS ? OR THE 2 RELIGIONS IS RIGHT TO
FOLOW , PLEASE WE NEED TO WAKE UP , DEAR ADMINS, FRONT PAGE GRACE ,

bunmioguns: STALE

*na u sabi stale or nostale swear say u no laff

3 friends Akpos, Rukewe and Oghene decided to go for a picnic. Rukewe packs the picnic basket wit drinks and sandwiches. Oghene carried the basket and dey set out 4 the park 10km away. It takes them 2 hours to get there. When they arrived, Rukewe quickly spread the mat and set out the sandwiches. After checking around, Oghene found out that Rukewe did not pack the bottle opener. They then begged Akpos to make the 4 hour trip to and fro for the opener. He disagreed.''You 'll finish the sandwiches before I return,''Akpos protested. ''No we won't'', assured Rukewe. After some more cajoling from them, Akpos reluctantly sets out for the opener. After 5 hours, there was no sign of Akpos. They decided to wait for another 3 hours. Still no sign of Akpos. Oghene and Rukewe after waiting on Akpos for more than 8 hours were by now very hungry so they decided to take one sandwich each. As they were about to eat, Akpos pops out from behind a rock screaming:' 'I KNEW IT! I'M NOT GOING AGAIN''!!!

HAVE u ever seen any devoted christain , he or she believes they are in d right WAY, they believe anyONE who does nOt believe in CHRIST will surely go to HELL ,while the believers will goto HEAVEN , (is all goood), and the same goes for a real MUSLIM , (sighs) , the question is which one of this two religion is the right WAY , (waiiiiti), some months ago i picked up a paper accidentally, after reading this paper , i was really shocked , as the content is too much for my RELIGOUS LIFE , to cut the long story short , i was ask to spread the gospel in dat paper as it was a mandate from heaven , infact there is a reward for spreading it , and there is a sanction for keeping it to my self , actually i have no choice but to ignore it , after some months , i picked up paper @ my backyard (after reading it , m like have gat to stop picking Up papers) it has d same mesage JUST LIKE the first paper , though it is a muslim version, so whats d big question? , ACCORDING TO WHAT I READ IN THE TWO PAPERS, IF THESE MESSAGES ARE REALLY SENT FROM HEAVEN , DO WE HAVE 2 HEAVENS ? OR THE 2 RELIGIONS IS RIGHT TO FOLOW , PLEASE WE NEED TO WAKE UP HAVE u ever seen any devoted christain , he or she believes they are in d right WAY, they believe anyONE who does nOt believe in CHRIST will surely go to HELL ,while the believers will goto HEAVEN , (is all goood), and the same goes for a real MUSLIM , (sighs) , the question is which one of this two religion is the right WAY , (waiiiiti), some months ago i picked up a paper accidentally, after reading this paper , i was really shocked , as the content is too much for my RELIGOUS LIFE , to cut the long story short , i was ask to spread the gospel in dat paper as it was a mandate from heaven , infact there is a reward for spreading it , and there is a sanction for keeping it to my self , actually i have no choice but to ignore it , after some months , i picked up paper @ my backyard (after reading it , m like have gat to stop picking Up papers) it has d same mesage JUST LIKE the first paper , though it is a muslim version, so whats d big question? , ACCORDING TO WHAT I READ IN THE TWO PAPERS, IF THESE MESSAGES ARE REALLY SENT FROM HEAVEN , DO WE HAVE 2 HEAVENS ? OR THE 2 RELIGIONS IS RIGHT TO FOLOW , PLEASE WE NEED TO WAKE UP HAVE u ever seen any devoted christain , he or she believes they are in d right WAY, they believe anyONE who does nOt believe in CHRIST will surely go to HELL ,while the believers will goto HEAVEN , (is all goood), and the same goes for a real MUSLIM , (sighs) , the question is which one of this two religion is the right WAY , (waiiiiti), some months ago i picked up a paper accidentally, after reading this paper , i was really shocked , as the content is too much for my RELIGOUS LIFE , to cut the long story short , i was ask to spread the gospel in dat paper as it was a mandate from heaven , infact there is a reward for spreading it , and there is a sanction for keeping it to my self , actually i have no choice but to ignore it , after some months , i picked up paper @ my backyard (after reading it , m like have gat to stop picking Up papers) it has d same mesage JUST LIKE the first paper , though it is a muslim version, so whats d big question? , ACCORDING TO WHAT I READ IN THE TWO PAPERS, IF THESE MESSAGES ARE REALLY SENT FROM HEAVEN , DO WE HAVE 2 HEAVENS ? OR THE 2 RELIGIONS IS RIGHT TO FOLOW , PLEASE WE NEED TO WAKE UP

Wiltshire – Robert Newman, 23, from
Wiltshire has been banned from all farms in
the United Kingdom after sexually
penetrating a goat, Huffington Post reports.
Newman confessed to the crime and has
been released on bail.
He is also not allowed on property that
houses farm animals and has to keep a
curfew between 7 pm and 7 am.

While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny
kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing
the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey
for you for one month!"
Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches
him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's
it! No butter for you for one month!" says
his dad.
Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks
dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen
floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then
looks up to find Little Johnny and her
husband watching her.
Little Johnny looks at his father and says,
"Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you
want me to?"

even d dogs in d street of lagos will laff @ dis story

and i wil make sure ur water system neva works again *ozuo*