₦airaland Forum

nethacker:
U will spend $200 (Sevis),$30 - $70 application fee depending on school, like 27K for US visa application and ofcourse some miscelleanous expenses sha. so sum it up urself my guy n if u r ready drop your YIM so we can chat

Hey nethack,, I have been reading this thread even before it got to 7 page but i didnt take it 2be serious like this,, and you know everything is about cash which i dont have back then and i think i have the same problem with seunny4lif,.Because none of my family has ever been outside the country before,,, But pls can you add me here is my Y! Id exodus9112,, I hope to hear from you

Kano Na them Sabi if Pdp Won,, Unless if Fashola Changed and Moved To Pdp Which I Dont think Will Happen,, But Believe Me If Not Its Just FASHOLA FOR LIFE IN LAGOS Believe Me,,

I just did registered too,, I dont know why i did but maybe something good would happen,, I havent watched it before too,, Anyone with usefull information here should please reply,,

POSAKOSA1:
How will there be new UNI in the North ? you want make Boko Horam come hunt people down ?!  

When it comes to NYSC killings the north takes the first places in murderous locations.

F00l, R you telling me that the east west and south are safer than north,, Ehn
What do you even know about North apart from the boko haram thing,, I have been in lagos for more than 20yrs now(born n raised) and i want you to know that the east and the south,west are the most dangerous place for the schools to be built,, Imagine Ogun state,, Full of Rituals and tell me theres none in rivers or akwa ibom,, You see Different places in Nigeria are not safe,, Blieve me,, I Just feel we`re too lazy *we the hausas) Illiteracy is affecting us soo much that we dont care much about our childrens Eduction,, WHAT A PITY ! (no new school in the northern part,, If this things would be right,, The schools Should all be built all over the country thats it,,

  So gbosa-kosa,, Dont say anything bad about North,Its even safe in the north than most of these places,,

Gurlfriend,, This is For you,, Happy Birthday,, The Designed cake of your Hundred years achieved is also attached,, Smoke Very Well Gurl,,

Nairaland,, Im here always and i enjoy staying on Nairaland than face book,, Naira naira naira naira and the naira LAND

LOL this is Crazy,, ur Turn

No Pictures

Lol,, My parents are from Norths,, Katsina preciselly but i was born here in Lagos,, We have families in Kano and i do go out to visit them,, I haven`t been there since last year,.And i`ll let you know that Kano Is Okay,.Very Cool(Depending on were you`re staying tho),, And you should know the seasons before going out there,.There seasons are x2 to what we get here,.Like the raining season,, Their rainy season is x2 very much than here in Lagos and the same goes for Sun,.So you should know all these before going out there,, And maybe someone else would help you with Sokoto lol,, I`ll show you some google pictures tho

femilangy:
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .i laff in hausa

Help the Dude if you can Or You Don`t reply to his post,, wawa kawai

Hi guys,, Pls I need help,, A friend wants me to help her check,, Please can any one send me the list,, If yes my email is exodus9112@yahoo.com pleas i would appreciate this, Thanks
Darne

There was 5 People hanging off a rescue wire from a rescue helicopter
There was four females and one male.
The Pilot of the Helicopter said that the loads too heavy and unless
one of them jumps off they will all surely die.

They all look at each other and ask who will jump – after five minutes
of talking around and as the Rescue Helicopter slowly nears the Shark Infested Sea the male stands up and says ; “I will let go and save you all as a male must save females just like Knights Save Princesses” He keeps going on about how lots of men saved females by killing themselves. They were all so touched and started crying. Sadly enough these females were forgetful and as they went to wipe there eyes… They fell. ,, mumus We too sharp





two men in a blizzard

2 men are out in a blizzard, and they meet each other. then the first one asks:
man 1:what are you doing out here?
man 2:im looking for my wife. what are you doing?
man 1:im also looking for my wife
man 2:then we could look together.
man 1:sure why not… so how does your wife look like?
man 2:she is tall with long legs, shes blonde has a big round butt and good boobs, so how about your wife?
man 1:screw her lets look for yours!








mole joke

there was a family of moles….
they were all going on holiday and were lined up walking down the tunnel it went – daddy mole, mummy mole, 3 middle moles and baby mole.
after some time baby mole stops he says ‘daddy, i can smell teracle’ daddy mole replies ‘that’s not treacle that molasis’

molasis get it mol – asis ?








Knock Knock Jack Joke

Knock Knock.
Who’s There?
Jack.
Jack Who?
ME!






3 kinds of people

There are 3 kinds of people in the world
1. gay (homo) people
2. people who cant count

a guy walks into a doctors place and says DICK DOCTOR DICK DOCTOR I NEED A NEW DICK the dick doctor says we hav wood,metal,and 100 ft long the guy says ill take the. . . wood one NOW!!! he says O.K the guy walks out a new guy comes in and says DICK DOCTOR DICK DOCTOR I NEED A NEW DICK NOW!!! the dick doctor says KK no problem we hav metal,and 100 ft long the guy says ill take it he leaves
another guy walks in and says the same as the others the dick doctor says we only hav 100 ft left he says ill take it

the next day the first guy walks in says i hate my new dick the dick doctor says why?

the guy says my girl friend doesnt like splinters the dick doctor gives his dick back
then the 2 guy comes bak says I WANT MY OLD DICK BACK NOW!!! the dick doctor says y?

the guy says the metal is to cold for her “dood its winter” he gets his dick back
then the 3rd guy comes back DICK DOCTOR DICK DOCTOR I LOVE MY NEW DICK the dick doctor says y? all the others don’t

the 3rd guy says because im fuckiing my girlfriend from here




Curious Kid,,

one day there was this kid and he hers his parents fighting his dad calls his mom a bitch and his mom called his dad a bastard. so he goes up to his mom and says “mom whats a bastard.” she said “its a nice way to call man. then he goes to his dad and says ” dad whats a bitch.” he says “its a nice way to call a lady.” so then he hears his neighbors fighting and heard dick and vagina. so he goes to his dad and says “dad whats a dick.” his dad says “its a hat.” then he goes to mom and asks “mom whats a vagina” she says ” its a coat. then his mom is making dinner and she cuts herself cutting the turkey and she says Bleep so he ask his mom what Bleep meant and she said its what you do to the turkey. then his dad is shaving and he says shit so he asks his dad what shit means and his father says its a type of shaving cream. so finally two friends come over and he says “hello bitches and bastards may i take your dick and vagina because my moms fucking the turkey and my dads shaving the shit off his face.”



Blond Joke,,

What do you call a person who can’t do math?

A BLOND!!!!!!





A Hot Dog For You,,

A  blonde and well u know them all

they are all runnin from the cops they run into a store the redhead hides in the puppies section the brenet in the kitties the blonde in the potatoes

the cops walk through and look at the puppies the redhead says ruff,ruff

they walk to the brenet she says mrowmrow

they walk to the blonde she says potatos potatos

LOL =D   








theres a blonde a branet a redhead stranded on an island they find a genie lamp he says u all get 1 wish the brenet says i wish i was smart she builds a boat and goes away the redhead wishes she was even smarter she builds a jet ski and zooms away the blonde says i wish i was smarter than ANY1 IN THE WHOLE WORLD she walks across the bridge ode,,

One day Jill and Jim were standing outside by lake Love. They had been dating for a really long time. One day, Jim asked Jill to marry him and said yes, but got so excited fell in the lake and took Jim with her. Someone witnessed this and ran to the sherriff office, saying, “Jim and Jill fell in Love!!!!!” “awwwwww!” replied everyone he told. so never fall in a lake called love ya heard,, lol

Why was 6 scared of 7? cause 7 8 (ate) 9 :O   

Once apon a time (Approximately, 30 years ago) there was a Hipster who had just gotten stoned. He got on a bus and sat at the back where there was a Nun reading the Bible. Being stoned, he asked, “Hey. Wanna hook up and score?”
The Nun simply replied, “No no, thank-you anyway. My virginity is Sacred.” Feeling stupid, the Hippie finally gets to his stop and is about to leave when the bus driver stops him.
“Dude, if you really want to hook up with her, you should go down to the Church every Sunday. She is a Christian and a dedicated one too. She literally LOVES Jesus!”
This gave him an idea
He dressed up as Jesus and walked into the Church on Sunday. Sure enough, he saw the Nun praying. He walked up to her, held out his arms and said, “Behold. I am the mighty Jesus Christ. Lets score.” She was overjoyed

After it was over he ripped off the Costume and screamed, “Hah! I’m really the Hippie!.”

The Nun simply replied,” And I’m really the Bus Driver.”

If Micheal Jackson Were a Fish,, I Guess He`ll Look Like


























This:::::::

One day a Italian guy and a rich guy decide to go skydiving. the Italian guys jumps and opens the shot but when the rich guy jumps his doesn’t open. The Italian guy gaps the rich man and he says…” thank you so much for saving me i am going to give you a million dollars.” the Italian man replies ” OH MAMA MIA!!!” and opens his arms and drops the man.

(in case you didn’t no Italians move their hand when they talk) Hope u understood!

asunaobi:
To me the most 'ritual killings' happen inside Aso , Wreck! sorry Rock. Thats where all the policies and idealogies that is drowning my lovely country is been formulated.

What I dont understand again is, how can the police ask Nigerians to 'sms' them if you are a victim. I think Nigeria is truely heading on the opposite. A DEAD PERSON TO SMS? WONDERS SHALL NEVER END!

That means the Police are somehow behind this too,, Yes so they know the procedures i think ,, Maybe they have better to explain or even the poster about the SMS thing,, A ghost to send sms **hisses

Naija,, This things happen everywhere in this country,, We should try to stay away from the above mentioned places,, Because nothing about the government is positive in Nigeria,, Its all about bribe,, So we should try protecting Ourselves and not to waste time for these so called police,, Its a Good Alert No matter what

,, ----Kafanchan or kaduna,,  I DON`T CARE what De hell! your name is,, You Better tel us the truth,, I think you are related to these thieves,, Maybe Cecilia Ibru is your mom,, Because you have been posting against Sanusi Too much (Bad belle),, Y`all know We pray for Better things,.Good leaders And Good peoples,, Now i think God has just sent us a Great Man.,, I called him great because he did what So ludo didn't do  or Cant do,.Because he is also a Thief,, Some of us don't want to Appreciate this man,, For me Sanusi and Fashola are The same,, Good Leaders! SANUSI ROCK ON !!!

I Pray this bastards Die in Hell Fire !! 
=======================================THIEVES_ THIEVES===============================
  WE DONT WANT THIEVES IN THIS COUNTRY ANYMORE,, AND SOON ENOUGH GOD WOULD SEND US A GOOD MAN OR WOMAN TO TAKE CARE OF SOME SECTORS TOO,, animals 

Beautifullll I like it,, everything was Okay,, Andi hope to be there one day,,

by.dot:
No be so o, i go dey pray so tey so tey so tey dani go see money board BRT bus

Well you never try,, Instead make you pray for am make him fit Afford Car,, But you`re gonna pray till he sees money to board brt,.Lol whats the difference,, 
Lol still better sha,,  Me go pray so that you would afford your own danfo lol 

eyonigger:
For all those that complained about this error:


RESULT NOT AVAILABLE FOR THIS CANDIDATE IN THE SPECIFIED YEAR.

You people are simply making a little mistake, all you people are doing is entering the Examination number only, what you'll do is enter the Examination number and then enter the three digits candidate number for your WAEC examination to make it 10 digits, your result will be displayed.

What are you,, man,, This is not about putting the wrong pin number or candidate but from their SCHOOL,, Maybe they are still owing them,, You need to Understand that and stop repeating the same thing here, Okay 

emibros:
i did everything and its still displaying the same thing @ eyonigger  !!! who has checked theirs @ all nairalanders

Hey i was also a victim Okay,, Our Principal was very busy with GCE candidate and he apologized that things would be fine when the exam ends , So as soon as the exam ends we all checked it back and everything was Normal,, My Advice to you is that you have to Talk to your principal,, and i`m sure you`re not the only one facing this,, B`cos you`re not the only candidate who sat for the exam,, So try talking to your Principal Now,,  I wish you best out of the best