₦airaland Forum

nikkykay: @ dayo
Thank u jare!
@ ypp
U said we shld encourage her? Hw do we do dat?! Let call a spade a spade, dat woman is not ready 2work! Period!
Am very sure she hasn't applied 4any job let alone called her 4 interview & her husband stopped her not 2go
Like I said is it a must 2go 4office work?
God forbid I were in her shoes but long time ago, I wuld hv learnt sowing, catering etc!
Hw abt home lesson or kindergarten like dayo said! Frm 8-2 ( d one we used 2call jele simi dn)
E je ka pa enu po ka ba ole wi ( let's put mouths 2gether 2scold a thief)
@ poster
Tell ur friend 2go & look 4d way she will add value 2her life! Its nt when u hav masters dat u r valuable ind society!

Whats the use of Masters to someone 10yrs out of school and no single work experience? Is the masters just to decorate the house just like the Bachelors is doing?

I wont be surprised if she comes up with excuses like

Daycare I really dont like noisy children(Someone who is already complaining of caring for 3 kids assuming none of them is in school yet) and my husband wont agree to the business
Sewing : The cost of sewing machine is too high. and My husband wont agree to give me the money
Braiding: All those people whose hair dey always smell. My husband would be against it
Catering; If people should fall sick from food poisoning Police would come find me. My husband wont agree as the house would be smelling like mamaput

But to sleep at home all day and watch TV while gossiping with the neighbour. MY HUSBAND WOULD LIKE THAT ONE

Texas.Cowgirl:
If a woman tells a man that she does not want any sexual intercourse, then he shouldnt force her to go through the ordeal.
If she's not sexually attracted to him anymore, her body will refuse to produce lubrication for easy entry, resulting in tearing of her vagina .
So yes, a husband can rape his wife.
Having a wedding band does not legalize rape.
The only difference between regular rape and marital rape is that marital molestation is harder to prove.

Would it still be rape when she consented and during the act she claims she withdrew her consent

Or after the act she said she changed her mind in the process

^^ Before the break Dortmund already beat Madrid mercilessly, After the break they did the same thing

Yet someone is saying the recent beating was due to break

So why were they beaten before the break?

toba: Gomez only scored in 2 games ar Euro 2012. Low might have dropped him against Greece cos he failed to score in the final group game or just wanted a squad rotation, which paid of in the sense that it was in that game that Marco reus became a force to reckon with.

Mario Gomez scored the lone goal vs Portugal and the 2 goals vs Holland making it 3 goals at the Euros

jidegirl12: I just spat my coffee on my table reading this! Dayo you don enter am! No excuse for any lazy bone Abeg leave story for Peter Pan .

I am trying to figure it out

You have 3 kids probably 2 of them are in Nursery school already So you have 1 at home with you all day but you still need nanny for one child.

What do you do from 8-3pm when assuming 2 kids are away? Washing plates of a household of 5? Do people wash clothes daily?

So between 8-4pm for 10yrs you cant learn how to braid hair? cant learn sewing cant even do local Nanny But its the husbands fault that he didnt find a job for you. And later send you for masters.

Before she married the husband was she working? Someone that never worked would also blame the husband for not writing her CV. She was enjoying the lazy life of sitting at home.

gladiator12: Well some men are just too self centered to help their wife's in any way. I have a friend whose husband has connections and her job is not paying her well and its also stressful but the man won't help her in getting a better job. How do u see that kind of man? A man who goes to work comfortable in his ride and allow his wife and kid trek and jump bike to get to daycare and work cos he says his work is tedious not minding the stress the woman is going through. A man that does not help his In laws but take care of his own family, a man who does not ask or discuss future plans with his wife. A man who is Selfish, selfish and selfish I need to be corrected if i am wrong please

You are wrong.

A family that lives in Abule Egba the man works in VI, the woman works around the area and the kids daycare is around. Who should be driving the car?

What law says a man has to help his inlaws? A man who is truggling to make ends meet whose wife is still trekking but na to help inlwas be the priority?

A man only has obligation to himself and his immediate family, Helping inlaws is tertiary

I tire for some people sha

yellowpawpaw: @nickykay.sorry I used a derogatory statement on u.I was angered by ur outburst.we r livin in a practical and realistic society.and this is naija where some pple still believe wives r slaves while dey r master. I'm so passionate abt dis cos I've seen countless women became slowpoke bc of their spouses.it can b viseversa. unless there is somethin @op is not tellin us,it is real my dear. she is regarded as a ppty, mind u wen datin,they r not always like dis.once they acquire u,wen d excitment dies away,u c their true color.they also go for'I don't want problem'kind of mate.at least she want to help herself so let's encourage her d right way instead of killin d remainin self esteem pls.who know,d guy might turn around.at least that's my prayer

And this helpless woman was blind and hypnotized when she was getting into the marriage?

Maybe their husband use juju on them

What wont we hear. When human beings refuse to take responsibilities for their own action rather blame everything, If its not the husbands fault, its the parents, the govt or the devils fault

Some people are just hell bent on making excuses in life.

She has 3 kids? Did she have 3 kids the day they got married 10yrs ago?

WHy didnt she think of getting a job 10yrs ago.

Claiming your husband stopped you is not a good enough excuse when your husband said you cant work, Did you ask him what other alternatives exist or what would you be doing with your time when you didnt have any children?

Apparently you were enjoying it sitting at home watching TV and doing neighbourhood gossips all day

WHile sitting at home what stops you from getting a sewing machine and learn tailoring? Its beneath you abi? What of making peoples hair? Thats for Local people abi? Since you are home what stops you from telling working neighbours to drop their kids with you for a fee?

When your kids go to school what do you do at home from 8-4pm? I am sure these are the kind of women that wake up at 11-12noon and complain all day

I am sure she would say she is cleaning, washing plates and cooking between 8am and 4pm. Even people washing plates for 1000 people dont spend 9 hours doing it

coogar: you mean the mid-table english teams city lost to pre-winter all had winter breaks? are these teams not in the same boat as city too(no winter break policy)? what has changed for them?

your brain should be filtered. i am 100% certain your double-helix is made of saw dust.

Citeh was losing to mid table teams whether pre winter or after winter so whats the point you are making if any?

coogar: stop being an obdurate w@nker.....
it's what happens after february that counts - not before. city got beaten by mid-table teams in england too. where did it say league leaders cannot lose to minnows. madrid did not lose to minnows in la liga or have you traded your common sense for hausa kolanuts?

So have Citeh stopped losing to mid table teams Post February? Or madrid have stopped losing to lower teams after winter break

It gets more and more ridiculous. Have you scheduled a brain surgery yet?

coogar: whose arsés were they kicking? united qualified from their group before dortmund. united won their first 4 games before throwing the last 2 as dead rubber games.

They were kicking the Arses of the English Spanish and Dutch Champions

Which break enabled them to do that?

Since them kicking arses now is due to winter break, Which break made them flog the EPL, La Liga and Eredivisie champs in autumn

coogar: EPL champions were kicked out of the competition when chelsea(6th placed) won it. all those rants up there mean nothing. the question we keep asking is simple - is the winter break an advantage or a disadvantage?

The question you should be asking was

before the Winter break was Dortmund not kicking assess?

Its extremely stupid for someone to imply the Winter break helped Dortmund when they were doing it the same way before the Winter break

coogar: dortmund beating who?
did they beat chelsea, united and arsenal? man city are wet behind the ears in europe - southampton and everton beat man city here in england so what's the biggie in dortmund beating city?

Did they play United, Arsenal and Chelsea?

EPL champions they molested them, La Liga Champs they drubbed them, Dutch champions they sodomized them

A bunch of under 25yrs boyz

Was it Winter break that made Dortmund top the group of death with 4 wins and 2 draws?

nateevs: I honestly did not know how to respond to him. His point seems like players are machines who can go on forever. And that the energy levels they have in the first five games of the season should be the exact same they have towards the end and wait for this . . . . irrespective of a break.

How do I respond to that?

Dortmund was beating everyone before Winter break

Dortmund continued beating everyone after winter break

How come Winter break was responsible for their winning?

I guess thats simple enough to understand

coogar: why should players who have had 3 months rest in the summer be tired in the autumn? tired after 5-10 league games in comparison to the tiredness after 20-25 league games in february?

dayokanu, i hope you know if they analyse your thalamus.....the performance would be about the same thing with a termite queen!

So why was Dortmund beating everyone in the autumn?

Wat break was responsible for that.

nateevs: If you ask me that question then you've not understood my previous response. You are too eager to make your point.

Because that point doesnt make any sense.

Before Winter break, Dortmund was mauling everyone. They got 4 wins and 2 draws from the so called group of death Infact the two draws were earned by their opponents in the final 2 minutes of play.


After Winter break Dortmund still continues beating everyone that comes their way

yet someone claims it was Winter breaks that made them do what they have been doing before December

How does that even make any sense?

Op,

Your username deserves a Profile picture

nateevs: You and I know that is just a bad response.
Breaks are not the only ingredients required to win a competition. This is why my argument is not saying Dortmund may be in the finals because of the break. It will be hard to prove. Just like it is hard and perhaps futile proving that it doesn't help.

So why was Dortmund running rings round Citeh , Madrid and Ajax in the Fall was that in anticipation of the coming Winter break or was that as a result of the summer break everyone took?

nateevs: So in short, the winter break is inconsequential.

If its consequential Then Dortmund would have been beating everyone before the so called Winter break

Or teams from Russia and Ukraine who take 3 months break would be winning the CL

If any of BvB or Bayern make the finals that would mean Bundesliga has produced finalist in 3 of the last 4 CL finals and you still dont realize power is shifting

2011 3 EPL clubs made quarters and 1 made semi

Last year 2012 only 1 EPL clubs made it to the CL quarters

This year 2013 0 English teams made it to the CL quarters

Even a blind man can see and if FFP comes it would get worse

bibiji: @dayokanu she lost her mom in her secondary sch.days and she is left wit an aged and old and sick father that she cannot afford to help in any way. She said when she asked 4 capital 2 start a biz, he said d home front wil suffer because she wil neglect her family.

Then find daycare or any friend who stays at home too who can take care of your kids?

How old are they? Have they not started school yet?

ileobatojo: Even those ones are not worthy! The day he decides to follow the newest husband snatcher on the block, my ass would be out on the street with cobwebs for brain cells. Too late to re-enter the work force. Hian! The only time I agree to such is if there is a rock solid, legally documented, financial back up plan for moi; as in millions in cash and investments that he has stashed away in my name in case of a rainy day. Otherwise, no deal o!

Actually its most Naija girls dream to have a husband who tells you to sit at home''First thing they ask is "Are you sure you can take care of me", "I am a traditional woman and a man is supposed to take care of the woman", "I am a housewife and I do more work than women who go to office"

Dont we see them on this forum daily?

An example is the thread below

https://www.nairaland.com/1253893/she-not-liability

bibiji: @dayokanu this friend of mine doesn't mean d hsbnd should do d job hunting. According 2 her d offers she got d man kicked against them. Now help get a job 4 her tru his highly placed friends he told her dat no one got one 4 him.

In retrospect at the point of your husband kicking against those job offers was when you should have tabled a "Set up a business" deal with him. Its usually because of days like this.

The key to holding any human down and keeping them in bondage is denying them financial freedom. Even if you want to walk, you dont have enough money to care for yourself.

And an ICT graduate of close to 10yrs no experience in most cases is not employable

Anyone not parents who offers to take away your means of livelihood and says "Dont worry I would feed you" Has other plans

If she shd pik her credentials and start job hunting, who wil look after d kids owing 2d fact dias no one 2 stay @ home wit d kids or cater 4 them after sch.

You know that half of the women in the workforce also have children and the dog has not ate their children, Drop your kids with your mom if she stays near or daycare and go to work

Thats the way to your happiness. A man would only give you just enough

What happens to you and your family assuming this husband dies or loses his job

Sisi_Kill: In many cases some of these women can't get jobs because their husbands won't let them. A situation where she's been told "Stay at home or else" is not that far-fetched and it won't be surprising to hear that many people she's gone to for advice have told her to listen to her husband oh or risk breaking her marriage.

So while I am not an advocate of the stay at him and ask hubby for toro kobo wives, we also have to put into consideration that for some women, especially in Nigeria the decision is not in their hands.

Where in this case does the OP state that the husband stopped her from getting a job?

The closest thing was she claimed the Husband didnt help her

bibiji: My best friend in d univ jst arived my home with her marital problems seeking advice 4rm me on what to do. Iam nt sure on what 2 tel her and I suggestd 2 her 4us 2 use dis forum 4 help. Here's her story: She has bin married 2 her hsbnd 4 d past 10years wit 3 adorable kids. She graduated wit 2.1 in ICT and d man refused 2 help her in job search. She then decided 2 go 4 Msc, she was offered admission and the hsbnd refused her going. She askd d man 2 place her on monthly allowance 4 her upkeep, that also he rejectd. The house chores was becoming too much 4 her and requestd dat they employ a nanny, he turned down d request. According 2 her what worried her most was when her younger broda dropped by after passing out 4rm NYSC camp 2 go home, d hsbnd refused 2 giv him transport fare. To cut long story short, she is not allowe 2 even attend family functions like weddings. She stays indoor and not allowed 2 visit anyone. She has become so depressed of late and d doctor adviced dat she stays away 4rm d stressors causing depression. Her question 2 me which am also throwin 2d house, should she file 4 a divorce or continue wit d marriage? She said she has become so short tempered and violent even 2d kids and dat alone is unbearable. Pls we need urgent response as she has only 2days 2 spend wit me. Tnx!

You are working, Was it your husband who found a job for you?

Imagine a graduate sitting at home watching Nollywood and saying Daddy/Mummy/Husband find a job for me?

Maybe she married a Senator

StarBoard: I dont think that fact is enough to classify them as underdogs.
Like Sleekdot says, Real are 13 points behind Barca. In that context it is a surprise that they are in the semis of the CL this season.
That does not diminish their status as a top team in Europe.
I'm pretty sure that United won't need to sacrifice any race for the other, because they normally go all out for the top competitions even though the Premier League is the priority.
Dortmund are past winners of this competition when it was actually harder to win it (i.e. with only two reps from the top countries and 16 teams in the group phase). They are the anti-thesis of big-spending Bayern and have achieved success without having to throw too much cash around.They are not a small team by any means.
They may be the least in term of pedigree of the remaining teams, but they are unbeaten so far in this competition. That should count for something, i think.

Leave am make he dey yarn opaks

First he said it wa the Winter break, Now its because they are 20 points

Madrid didnt they have winter break? are they not 15 points behind Barca?

Why were they mauled last night

To think this is the dream of some women to be a housewife just because they are lazy.

All I see here is a LAZY woman who is hell bent on giving excuse for everything in Life, Its all her husbands fault

OP did she get a job and her husband told her not to resume?


Her husband refused to help her find a job? Is this Husband director of Employments? If she cant find a job then she has no one to blame but herself. Or other women working was it their husband who wrote applications for them?


After being jobless for a while now says she wants to go for MSc, who would pay for that? the same man carrying all the financial burden of the house ? Would now pay millions for MSc Like DBanj said "You don see mugu"


Monthly allowance for upkeep for what? She eats, she has shelter then she wants monthly upkeep again? if she needed money she would go find a job or open kiosk outside. That Aunty Jane selling recharge card and Pure water has 2 breast, 1 Womanliness and a family like you


House Chores becoming too much? Are you kidding me? You sit at home all day the man is hustling to fend for the house and you now need a nanny again? Money you cant bring, Work you cant do, So whats the point of staying in the house or how are you any better than the piece of furniture in the living room


He he he. So after you have been leeching the man, you now bring your younger brother to come chop again? Didnt you tell your younger brother you are already a liability to the man before you add him to it?


You wan attend wedding and family functions? So you get time to attend functions and dance at Owambe but you cant get your behind up to make a living? Whats the purpose of your parent sending you to school in the first place?


She can file for divorce and save the man from the liability he has but has she thought of how she would feed and house herself?


Short tempered to kids just try and beat them to death so you can join the Kirikiri reform home. Abi is it the kids fault they have a Lazy mother?

Abeg spambot got me in the sport section.

Where is the muchacho comparing Lewandoski to Benzema

Una dey see Lewandoskii?

Arguably best 9 in the world right now

Lewadoskiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

And one troll was comparing him to Benzema