₦airaland Forum

Honestly 'only in Nigeria'.....there have been some moments I look back on and I think to myself only in Nigeria could this have happened...

First scenario was on campus, me and my guys were just chilling in the park after a long lecture and as usual everybody trying to look fly and out do each other on swag levels, there were cute and not too cute girls everywhere, guys on their phones trying to show off their iphones and Samsung's others reading and some sipping on drinks chowing snacks....

so there was this girl me and my guys noticed Infact i'm sure everybody noticed her, she looked so pretty and clean her dress hugged her in all the right places making her look even more sexy and catching everybody's eye, you could tell she was full of confidence about herself. After much delay on whether or not to approach her (coz I no want make babe go fall my hand) I finally went and by God's grace she didn't blank me, she gave me her number and I went back to my friends feeling like one bad guy..feeling like James bond

Fast forward some days later I call this girl she no pick I say no its nothing, I send this girl WhatsApp msg no reply I still say no its nothing, naso for one week I call this girl and send her WhatsApp msg to no avail mean while she appears online and WhatsApp shows me msg read, the thing taya me na last last I bone her matter completely only for one day my call went through and I confronted her about why she doesnt pick when I call, told her if that was her plan why did she give me her number in the first place, why is she behaving childish; only for her to open her mouth and say 'because I gave u my number doesn't mean I have to pick ur call' I never see this kind thing.....SMH ONLY IN NIGERIA!
Share your own 'only in Nigeria' moments if you have any

Mine was during that time cbn govnr oga sanusi introduced coins back, naso I pack coins go church on sunday; don't even knw why bcoz I didn't intend to use dem 4 offering, anyway dats how after service everybody was walking out b4 I knew it I said somtn like iron plates dropping on d floor, my coins fell n everybody was looking at me; I nearly cried n picking them up was so hard!

FestacGirl:
The person that made this body kit is mad , as for owner of the car that purchased the kit I have nothing to say to the person
...
Car is toooo wide and ugly
Body kit looks cheap ,just like ordinary plastic

Okay true true its ugly buh is ur secret admirer pulls up in it to take u on a date u'll still enter na so in most cases its all about moving from point A to B

Great salute to a national hero , in ur own little way u contributed to our nation and left ur mark by blessing our flag with two beautiful colors dat convey ur msg of peace n fertility in the land, happy independence sir

Chanchit:
spiritual father self I no get, talkless of god father.

God is a father to us all, don't worry...stay positive

That's the problem with BMW, somehow someway Mercedes Benz always finds a way of beating them hands down, even with all those features named I'd still pick an S-class over that, even the immediate old s class (w222) b4 this lastest model dat our senate presido drives.

That's the problem with BMW, somehow someway Mercedes Benz always finds a way of beating them hands down, even with all those features named I'd still pick an S-class over that, even the immediate old s class (w222) b4 this lastest model dat our senate presido drives

Without a doubt ps3 was/is a madt hit n succes....no beef with ur list sha but I bliv batman arkham deserves a mention

Nawa o where's the part about toasting hot fine girls na

Not matter of tall or short...just have a big ass....but if she tall with a big ass! Then a big plus!

Hmm runtown pushed his 'gallardo' and 'successful' tracks by himself with over 4.7million of his own money?!...ok dats a real boss move ryt there, salute to u jor runtown kip giving us the hits...'Kampala' still bursting up d airways...but wait o when dat guy na up n coming him get 4.7mill 4 bank..d hustle is real!

Leriebloom:
MY LAST EXPERIENCE (forever I hope)

My friend and I woke up pretty early and left the house. She was leaving for Benin while I was leaving for Enugu because I had a flight to catch by 12:15pm. I told the bike man to take me to any park I can get Enugu bus and he took me to one miserable Nyannyan park. I was the first to get a ticket for the first bus to Enugu. I kept waiting for more passengers because we were just three. I spoke to the guy loading the bus and explained to him that time wasn't on my side so he had to push me to port Harcourt bus.When the bus started moving, that was when the driver remembered he had to fill his tank. We stayed on a short queue , but it was still enough to eat into someone's time. By the time the bus started moving it was past 8. To cut the long story short I got to Enugu by 12, I rushed to where I could get a cab. And for the cab guy to take me to the airport he said 4k,I didn't even have the time to waste so I entered. The driver was on his highest speed, but still we couldn't make it. We got to the airport and I rushed down to Arik stand, only for me to be told I had missed my flight. There was no other flight for lag until Sunday by 12",and I had to add extra money which was a tad bit too much. I left the airport, paid a cab man to take me to town to any affordable hotel. I hate sleeping alone so I was scared all through d night, I had to call a friend who tried keeping me at ease. It worked and I slept off. I woke pretty early Sunday morning,dressed and called the cab guy only for his line to be switched off. I had to drag my box down the road and waited until I saw a Keke. I jumped into it. He took me to peace mass park where I got a lag bus, and now I am home

Nawa o u haven't said anything about the food and entertainment or didn't u try out makurdi pounded yam with big fish inside d soup? Or dat sweet makurdi beer carnival where good beer goes for like 100box...4get, mak city make sense

I've come to understand dat som people don't even know or understand wat is subsidy, dey just see the increase in fuel as bad market, enlightenment is bliss....subsidy is good but since the rich minority hv used it to be cheating the masses, omo better make dem bury d subsidy inside concrete sef no be only sand...shame on NLC to be planning strike just becoz dey hav collected billions from those few individuals dat want subsidy back in order to cheat nigeria...youths carry on jor #RIPsubsidy

LaExpert:
Lol..
If people are to share it with each person taking $1m, it will only be enough for 2100people, not the entire population.

God Bless Nigeria!

Sorry mr expert I mean say if dem change d billions into naira and share one one million naira change go remain...why u con de attack me sef abi u u no go like am if dem share dat money to d populous?

Bleep fuel subsidy...I no been know wetin fuel subsidy be but as dem don give me gist about am I say Bleep it, how we go de boro money de put ontop fuel say na subsidy and wen we pay back d money na with stupid interest rates so who d loan help...other petroleum products like diesel way no get subsidy far no be still 150+ we de buy for a litre? Why dem no hala...if na fuel de fall ur hand guy go buy diesel car n diesel gen since its ok to buy diesel 150+ n not petrol

2.1 billion dollars as in even dat oyinbo woman d thing shock her...people way de naija no reach 2.1 billion so if everybody palm one one million dollars of dat money for this country walai change go remain....oga Jona I hail, well no be jonah fault na d pple way been surround am...Godbless nigeria gracefully

We de too tribalistic for this country only God can help us, for say na her igbo brother dey she no go write this shit she write there, if she say all this tnz den d common man on d street no be for him to find way shoot oga presido...God help us to be united in this country so dat no matter d person ruling us we'll still make nigeria great together

Walai ur husband done find better thing when him marry u, this kind babe wey sabi cook n still de conservative, I think say ur type don de extinct but u de...nothing do u at all u be fine girl

Walai ur husband done find better thing when him marry u, this kind babe way sabi cook n still de conservative...I think say ur type done extinct but u de, nothing do u at all u be fine girl!

Walai ur husband done find better thing when him marry u, this kind babe way sabi cook n still de conservative...I think say ur type done extinct but u de, nothing do u at all

blesoh:
With the frog voice?

Frog voice abi but when singing its not frog again, I know there must be one Davido song u like, d guy is good

Make obo represent well o, make him no go form wetin him no be this one wey na only him de laf for the pics, make him no too try to belong, if dem no go respect d african blood den fvck'em...#naijamade

Kai oga presido u too much, no be lie say this man get good intentions for this country..God bless u and ur efforts for a better nigeria n frustrate those wey wan fall ur govt because of stupid n tribalistic reasons, make animals dey der de ask for apology, fvck cameron's apology na our money way dem de hide for their fantastically corrupt land we need, tell am straight.

That david cameron abi camera sef na better hypocrite, no be dis idiot name comot 4 panama papers wey him com giv one stupid excuse say na him papa run d package when him mates de resign by d mere mention of their names in such papers....oga buhari atleast now u go knw say all those white fuckas no send us, make u de do dealings with them eye to eye no go giv dem ur back o, its hy time these indians chinese n whites go de fvk back where they came coz their help get 2face

Wat are you saying!...why won't he react like dat when some nobody just bargs into ur home accusing of u something u knw fully well u didn't do...just wonna tarnish a niggas name, davo notin do u jare kip doing ur thng baddest!

Sometimes it burst my head how a senator of the federal republic of naija will be borderd or disturb whether or whether not to accept a toyota suv, car dats everywhere like pure water n even civil servants hav, even our celebs drive more luxury cars...haba in dis country dat senator status means ur a billionaire...measly thinking is a sickness

Five mouth koboko is the cure.....no time

Five mouth koboko is the cure

Her talk long like she de write essay 4 waec, linda u de cast sha...can't u just allow a young boy get he's money in peace, if wizzy wan buy crib him go buy am, if na rent him want him fit abi na u put d money 4 him pocket!? Mstchew

This story fit excite some people to be drilling machines....abeg o

This omotola like to de form perfect life too much, because she marry rich man early nobody go hear word again. Well wat she shud know is dat if anything seems too perfect den its a lie or too gud to be true. ur husband go market to de buy foodstuffs!! Mstcheww