₦airaland Forum

[quote author=abiL*]Put an erect dîck in it to make it harder to understand.

Mtcheew[/quote] This' the 3rd time you refering to dîck, are you that hörny? LOL

Idowuogbo: Plant it!

No dream of me sha o

Shollypopz: How is she saying he changed himself incoherent??
Incoherent: (1) without logical or meaningful connection; disjointed; rambling
(2) Expressed in an incomprehensible or confusing way; unclear.
(3) (of a person) Unable to speak intelligibly

How is the statement, "He changed himself incoherent". Not to talk of the context in which the statement was used, how d fvck was d statement incoherent?!

No wonder! Your mobile dico mis-led you. Check my very meaning of incoherent from Oxford and you will agree (you just will not) that for abiL to say the man changed himself is not clear and hard to understand since someone(she) influenced him to effect the change.

Idowuogbo:

Heeeeey! That's my Ex. You care for a kiss?

Idowuogbo:

Smile jor

[quote author=abiL*]I'm tackling you in the other thread. Use your chicken wings to fly there.[/quote]My mexican pepermint, I think you'll be going off-points, if you continue like this on that thread.

[quote author=abiL*]It's getting boring indeed. I'll rest my case.[/quote]Hahahahahahaha. I know how birds in team does. Such can be a good excuse too my dear. LOL. You're free now

[quote author=abiL*]You're actually getting a teeny weeny lot boring now [/quote]Hit on the topic and don't adopt rescue measures or self-pity

Idowuogbo:

I'm beginning to like you. LOL

Shollypopz: Lmao, u are an Olodo!!

So one isn't capable of changing oneself?? What is change?? What is incoherent?? Here is a link to the dictionary meaning. Brah, what d heck are u writing?? LMAO!

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/incoherent

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/change

No need for anyone to get bitter, I deal with fact!

.[quote author=abiL*]Leave him alone o. You know how Nigerians gets excited about "big words" even when they have no idea what it means. Everyone wants to sound intelligent.[/quote]You both made me laugh. I just checked my dico now (Oxford) and incoherent means: 1. Unable to express yourself clearly, often because of emotion. Now Shollypopz my new found English teacher how is my term in contrast with my intent and line of content?

[quote author=abiL*]A history of violence isn't solely perpetuating physical violence. A man who has been exposed to violence has a history of violence, such as one who has seen his dad beat his mum etc.



No one can hide who they truly are. Although I agree that you can't really know a person 100%, but dating someone for at least a year will start to give u an idea of who they.
Have you heard of men who kill their wives?.. That didn't start in one day. It mostly starts off with telling her what she can or can't wear, who she can or can't contact. He will take away her self-esteem, family contact, independence and self-worth through his controlling behaviour. Then the verbal abuse, and the physical abuse. Since he has taken away her support group (friends and families), she has no one to turn to. Then everything after that is history mixed with disaster.


Learning process is an ongoing process, but take for example driving. Once u know how to drive, you can never truly forget how to. Same way a man brought up in violence finds it difficult to unlearn those behaviours he has observed and modelled.





To add!! a man should be held responsible for his action. No matter what the provocation is, when u start physically fighting with a woman, YOU are to blame. Not the woman that made fun of your small dîck. Make fun of her yeasty vag, but don't start practicing karate kid on her.[/quote]I think "a history of violence" in every defination isn't a reason a man respond to ugly and counter reactions. It's psychology; guess you did abit of that. It's a natural phenomenon: you hit me i respond like-wise or you step on me i push you away. Yet, these reactions can be curbed, if the partner/opponent duly respond in a "sweet" manner. Now, for anyone to go out of that atmosphere into violence makes him/her needs urgent attention. That brings us to the partner/wife's reaction when the husband/man's indicator signals red. Most wives don't help matters; many can't self-control or keep mute when the home situation is going 'gaga'. The more you wanna "prove" your point at an intense measure of arguement, the more annoying such woman becomes. I think there're better means/ways/moments to state opinions. When done at the wrong moment, it could make a man lose it and beating can be the fastest option. At bolded, good to know you agreed and the latter can't be wrong too though not everyone engages in a-year or two dating to understand eachother and besides, it's what you're told that you know about. Thence, characters/attitudes can't be kept forever but they sure can be kept for a long time even until marriage.

At karate stunts, i'd advise you folks not to put on karate kits so as not to be identified as karate-mate by your men.

[quote author=abiL*]It won't be wrong, but you didn't change him. He changed himself. You influence that change.

So you were part of the change in his attitude, but not the reason for it.


You prompt him to change, not made him change.



All we can do is influence people to change for the better whilst praying and hoping that they do. Because you can nag, shout and preach from now until kingdom come, if a man or woman hasn't got it in their mind to change, then a change ain't gonna happen.[/quote]There comes a time when influence becomes so potent and effective enough to bury/silence a will-power. So if she can influence the man to change, my dear, SHE CHANGED THE MAN. Saying he "changed himself" is incoherent.

[quote author=abiL*]Most women love to argue (me inclusive), but no woman wants to be beaten. Tell me a name of a woman that likes (not even loves, likes) to be beaten!!

The changes I've mentioned can occur outside and in a marriage. Marriage isn't the fuel for change. An attitude, a willingness and a mind set to change is what is needed for a change... AND the opportunity to be able to make that change.



"Nagging women who were previously Angels". My comment on this.... Get to know the person inside and out before rushing into a marriage. Just because the pûssy or dïck is good, don't mean that finger deserves a ring.





A man that beats a woman is (I repeat), a SON-OF-A-BÏTCH who hasn't been taught better. There are several ways to resolve a dispute without violence coming into it. Several!!!!!!



The same way we've got what you call "innocent men", there are also truly innocent woman that only needs to disagree with her man's point of view before getting showered with slapping and kicking in abundance.



Let's call a spade a spade, why will a clean man resort to violence just because his wife did something wrong? That "clean man" has obviously had a history of violence that he's been hiding in the cupboard to Narnia.[/quote]Oh nah! You got that wrong. You don't need to have a history of violence to lose it at the face of an arrogant/aggressive wife/partner. It's natural to display such content and that's why we've got the word "apology". As such i wouldn't defend it when it becomes regular as certain critical but peaceful measure can be potent. The beauty of this exchange is the idea for a new thread it births. I can't help but laugh at your submission: " My comment on this.... Get to know the person inside and out before rushing into a marriage." Maybe we should create a thread on how well do you know your wife/husband? It's funny and indeed very funny that we sure can't get to know our spouse(s) in all. The learning process continues even until death and your resolve at point is practically invalid. Permit me to centre on your folks (though it could be vice-versa. No man can know the "all" of a woman. The "sex scandel" about the Asaba man, Gilda and co., if true, reveals the identify of you people. A woman have a 17years old son and kept it secretive to his husband of 8years.......could there be a dico-word for that? It's simple! We (men) can't "know" you (women) all and if a woman turns she-devil and once-an-innocent-man lost it, please lay the blame right.

About women loving the hits, that was a bomb-shell attached with a grin. You could decode anyways

Idowuogbo: Am ok!

Live it for as long as it last.

[quote author=abiL*]Marriage changes most people if they have the willingness to change.

Positive changes needs to come from self.

Negative changes comes from within as well.

Both needs to be triggered by something.


An "innocent man" will not randomly decides to lay his hand on his wife. He will most probably have the need to be aggressive in him, but has been repressing it until the point where it can't be hidden no more.

Haven't you heard of men who are all lovey-dovey until after marriage when their true colours starts to show?




Also, a woman "changing to become aggressive" is not an excuse for a son-of-a-bîtch to smack her up.[/quote]Oh yeah, this' the point the woman-factor comes in. I won't be caught adopting sentiment on sensitive matters. These changes you're talking about occurs in marriage and thank goodness, you admitted. We've got cases of nagging wives, rude and aggressive wives that were once "angels" before marriage needless to mention that it started as a process; a gradual one indeed. You can't call a man that got his clean-sheet on violence matters a son-of-a-bîtch because he couldn't rescue himself from the grip of aggression and whatnot displayed by his wife (don't think divorce). We've so many innocent men that got entangle in the web of wife-beating as a result of the regularly wrong/negative deeds of the wife. Maybe i release a bomb-shell......some women loves their chains; some women loves to be beaten.

Idowuogbo: Yeah!

Ara e tin ro lenu jo meta yi o. Are you alright at all?

I believe in prayers but instead of being spiritual, lets apply simple logics. In several perspectives a woman can change a man and i will like to solely remain in the context of marriage since we supposedly have a larger percentile of commitment at that level.

Idowuogbo: Overflogged!

Na by force you comment ni?

[quote author=abiL*]In reply to the wife-beater comment, a wife-beat can be changed... Only if he truly wants the change. Some aggressive men might tell you that they want to change but deep down, being aggressive is what they known. They've grown up in violence, therefore, the man's partner won't be able to change the guy on her own.

The man will need help to change his faulty thoughts. He needs to unlearn, and relearn new associations. He needs to know that violence isn't the answer.

But such need to have the willingness to make a change.



A man just don't randomly "turns" to be a wife beater. Something must have triggered it. Whatever that something is, it's not the woman's fault. He needs to sort his own issues out without being physically aggressive to her.



And yes, marriage changes most people (men AND women). A woman who is selfish, can learn to be selfless once she's married. But physically laying hands or being aggressive to your partner needs more than a change. A person that does such is messed up mentally.

An aggressive man shouldn't enter into a marriage in hopes that it would change him. He needs to deal with his anger before involving another being.[/quote]In as much as you've got some valid points, it also could be your very submission that no woman can change a man even as i disagree. Away from that, the bolded could mean that a woman/wife can also change to be aggressive to the extent of once-an-innocent-man beating the hell off her brains. Agreed?

carefreewannabe: Ready

I'm so on point and hope it hits FP for mega opinions.

Crown Prince: Pyguru microchip is embedded on sexkillz forehead. I and Seun has the password that makes the '' human ware'' functions complimentary.

So I can sanction you non existence on nairaland.

Guy, i must confess, at this juncture........am confused kwa

carefreewannabe: good idea!

Please head on! I'm on the thread

[quote author=abiL*]A great misconception. Some women fall in love with bad guys because the think they can change the guy. Once they realise that they can't, they start to complain about how they've wasted their time on that stagnant relationship.

A woman can defo influence a man to change, but she can't change a man. She can be the reason why the man suddenly wakes up and decides that he wants to change, but she can't force or push him to change.

He might pretend that he has changed just to please her and pull her along in the lane of deception, but unless the man truly wants to change, a woman can do nothing but pray and hope.[/quote]You see, most men aren't "bad guys" before marriage and am so sure no woman with potential admirers as option will accept a ring from such a man. Dear, most men changes in marriage and at bolded, you seem to get my drift. Now, when a man turns wife-beater, does it mean he can't be "influenced" to change and be a better husband. I'm pointing out all these because most comments here are somewhat frivolous.

Crown Prince: You better be cos Seun will program pyguru to detect your facie and finger tips banning you for life.

You know what... Imagine 6 months without nairaland, you will fall sick and kick the cup.

I ain't threatening but stating the obvious.

pyguru got sensor that placed me under immunity. Who else? Oh SK.....i think i got a clean record so far. You need to deal with yours

[quote author=abiL*]I don't know where you've hearing your moonlight takes from, but a woman can never change a man. Not unless the man truly wants to change. Change comes from within.[/quote]Oh no! Lets resolve that that's your opinion because many female folks won't agree to that else we make a new thread It's a general believe that you gender can change a man and for me, a wife-beater got hope. What if the woman becomes the fool and remain extra submissive? Who if she adopts prayer with meekness? Those points sound absurd......right? Maybe i should quickly ask......is there no wife for every man?......and don't you believe in transformation testimonies instead of jumping from one to another with different excuses? I don't support woman-beating but i think you folks somehow got some magics.

nne3870: laffs...really, so the size and length hasn't changed since childhood? I now understand y u are still a virgin.

You're right my dear. How about you? How does mummy check yours?

reeeT: There is no justification wat so ever for a man to beat his woman.so the answer whether to stay with him is so absurd...i can never stay with such a man...never,never,never

He has the ability to change. Don't you believe in prayers? There's this thing about a woman changing a man, isn't this one among several?

She doesn't demand too much

nne3870: your username says u have been exploring d explorable so how is it possible that u are stil 'unexplored'? Your mummy needs to check it again o....

She's right, she actually uses a measuring tape every day

kunletiwoo: You na Car brake oil?

Parkwell