₦airaland Forum

Joke of the day.

Two friends were walking home and a lady happened to be blowing a kiss to one of them from the window of a storey building.
Their conversation went as follows:

1st friend: Omo e b lyk say na me dat babe dey blow kiss

2nd friend: Guy leave dat one jare, no mind am
(then d lady signaled to him to come)

1st friend: Omo d babe dey kal me sha

2nd frnd: Ogbeni, no go

1st frnd: Y u go tell me make I knw go. Fyn babe lyk dat dey kal me, u say make I no go

2nd frnd: Guy abeg no go, no go(feeling pity)

(The friend ignored him and went over to d lady, she went to meet him nd dey both went upstairs. Suddenly as dey were abt to have fun, dey heard a car honking)

Ladyon opening d window) ha! Dats my husband

1st frnd: Yeh! Mo gbe

Lady: Dnt worry, jst pretend lyk u re d laundry man nd iron these cloths (pointing at a heap of cloths)
(dis guy spent d whole day ironing clothes cos d husband Neva left ome dat day again.
The next day he went over to his friend's place)

1st friend: Omo, shey u knw say na cloth I iron thru out yesterday

2nd friend: Shebi I tell u make u no go. All dat cloth wey u iron so, na me WASH AM.
1st friend: WHAT!!!

Joke of the day.

Two friends were walking home and a lady happened to be blowing a kiss to one of them from the window of a storey building.
Their conversation went as follows:

1st friend: Omo e b lyk say na me dat babe dey blow kiss

2nd friend: Guy leave dat one jare, no mind am
(then d lady signaled to him to come)

1st friend: Omo d babe dey kal me sha

2nd frnd: Ogbeni, no go

1st frnd: Y u go tell me make I knw go. Fyn babe lyk dat dey kal me, u say make I no go

2nd frnd: Guy abeg no go, no go(feeling pity)

(The friend ignored him and went over to d lady, she went to meet him nd dey both went upstairs. Suddenly as dey were abt to have fun, dey heard a car honking)

Ladyon opening d window) ha! Dats my husband

1st frnd: Yeh! Mo gbe

Lady: Dnt worry, jst pretend lyk u re d laundry man nd iron these cloths (pointing at a heap of cloths)
(dis guy spent d whole day ironing clothes cos d husband Neva left ome dat day again.
The next day he went over to his friend's place)

1st friend: Omo, shey u knw say na cloth I iron thru out yesterday

2nd friend: Shebi I tell u make u no go. All dat cloth wey u iron so, na me WASH AM.
1st friend: WHAT!!!

Pyno30:
Please stop stressing yourself too much. I know you had a tough day in church today, don't let other people's problem deal with you.

Is it ur problem...or are you the problem? And I the ploblemee?

Thunder fire you @OP

Pple like this should be killed, and their bodies sent to the university as cadavers...we need dead bodies in GROSS labs o..


Let's wait and see what Mugabe has to say about this...

ollymoore:
D first picture is not new I think I can remeber wen dat one happen (holy spirit rain down)

You must be a vision Seer....
That first pix u r seeing there just happened dear...
At Adibe dibe...

Pls wash ur face..

Let me. Start by. Saying this,
Please If you are a cultist, you hAve nothing to gain out of it, below is the picture of how your fellow cultist that died in calabar...

Two cult groups clashing in calabar and killing themselves by bursting their heads with Axe....

As it stands, 8 of them are reported to have died by head and brain bursting...

If you want to live, please stay away from cult...

Below Are the graphic photos

annnikky:
Guy na nneka get am xo I no want make prsn come tell me say bae gemme my property back I dnt share it with any! To u nobody get am buh 4 ur back na prsn
My guy hw u dey na?

Lol....lmao....I no knw Nneka o...

Am fine dear...how is ur thursday going?

Chai!!! NIger DElta Avengers has entered calabar o.....see blood.......
Where is Buhari?

annnikky:
Lol.. Tnx 4 d offer buh is not mine rather for someone else

U r funny o....which someone else be that?....

Am giving you my tool and u still insist its someone else's.....which someone?

annnikky:
Haaaa r u scared? Lol

I dnt take wat belongs to someone else

Lol.......

Its not someone's own o....I'll love to give you sha....but if u insist...then I'll keep it

annnikky:
Yes na wetin else no be her property b4.... Lol

Lol....its not her property o....my dic.k never get owner o....

Do you care for it?

annnikky:
Hahhahahahh......no am not buh I hope nneka will not come back n request for something.... U know na.....lol

Hehe! I dnt know anything o.....


But come to think of it...is it my dic.k?

annnikky:
Wow! That was a gud story buh guy I want to ask u a Q, did all this happened real or just a fiction cos this ur story was kinda scary at d beginning so tell me d truth @Diamonddris.

Hmmm....yea it is not a true life story...


Are you the doctor?

DILEMMA ....... page 11. .: Stories
We took a bus down to Nneka’s village.
When we got to her compound, I saw a
woman, surrounded by other women, they
were consoling her ”its alright. Don’t worry.
She would be found..’
I needed no soothsayer to tell me that the
poor woman was Nneka’s mother. I felt
sorry for her plight. I was filled with
guilt.”But I didn’t kill her, I am innocent.
I wished her daughter could just come back to
life and say to her”mama its alright. I’m
here”. When she caught sight of us, she ran
towards us and held the poor girl with me.
Nneka’s room mate “where is my
daughter!”she yelled. It took people’s effort
to let her go off the helpless girl. I should be
held, not her.
I heard a voice calling me. I turned and it
was Nmeka. I shifted backwards in fear. I was
about to run, but where to? “Tell my parents
what happened” she said thrice, with a voice
re-echoing in my head over and over again.
She disappeared. I knew other people didn’t
see her. I had to act fast before I die of fear
before my time.
I called her parent aside with great courage.
I told them that their daughter is dead and
has been appearing to me.
Immediately I said that, she appeared to me
and said with a thunderous voice, “Tell them
what actually happened before I kill you
here” I confessed for the very first time.
Her mother was like strangling me to death.
I sustained bruises from her rage. It was the
man who even saved me. He demanded to
see my parents. My heart skipped a bit. He
was really angry and sorrowful. I could see it
written over his face.
We arrived at my parents compound.
(Nneka’s parents, myself, the room mate and
Nneka’s uncle) It was a thing of shame for
him as I was forced to re-confess. My parents
were disappointed in me. My father ceased
my phone.
I couldn’t raise my face up as I faced the
ground. Soon people gathered. I felt like I
should just die and leave everything.
After sometime, Nneka appeared for
everybody to see. It was a serious scene.
Some people ran and stopped at some point
to observe while some stayed out. Even her
mother was terrified. Nmeka told everybody
that I didnt kill her. She said her asthma
disease did.
I was a bit relieved but I was not really
myself at that point. I was surprised when
she pleaded with her parents to let me go.
She finally told her parents to go to the
police and tell them they are her parents so
that they would be given her corpse at the
mortuary, as ordered by the school.
Before she disappeared, she looked at me,
smiled and said” I have forgiven you, Jude”
Hours passed into days. Days into weeks and
weeks into months.
I had learnt my lesson. Social network
nearly killed me. I lost my parents trusts,
concentration with studies and my good
name.
But above all, I prayed to God to forgive me.

*** The end ***
THANK YOU ALL FOR Reading AND HAPPY SUNDAY TO EVERYONE OF YOU.

DILEMMA .......Episode 10

I couldn’t believe my eyes. I couldn’t
believe it was Nmeka sitting on my bed. Out of fear, I opened my mouth to scream but couldn’t produce any sound!
What could have happened to my voice. I
made to open the door which I was leaning on, in order to run away but it refused to open. I fell to the ground with a mighty thud.

My heart was beating very fast.
Nmeka laughed and laughed and laughed
again. I stood up,leaning my back tightly
against the door. I wished I could disappear through it at that point in time.
“Nmeka please don’t kill me please, please
o, I am sorry please”I managed to speak at last. She laughed again and stood up, coming towards me. I almost fainted, I was panting furiously.

I wished the ground can open up and
swallow me. As she came closest to me, I
closed my eyes trembling, I could feel hot
water dripping from my trousers. I knew it
was my own urine. I urinated on my body. “Open your eyes!”she
commanded. Her voice at this time was filled with anger and rage.

I opened my eyes helplessly. I made to say something but she shouted at me to keep quiet. “Jude, since I died my spirit has been restless. You must go and tell my parents what happened to me. Secondly, you must go
to the police and find out where they kept my body. I can not be buried in another man’s land. I must be buried in my father’s compound.
Do these and you will live, or I will kill you
after making you confess publicly”Nmeka
demanded.

She came closer to me that it was just an
inch or two separating us. I felt cold shivers running down my spine.

I opened my mouth in a gape. how can I do these things she commanded me to do. She further told me to go to her school and ask about her room mate, that she will help me locate her parents. She told me that I had 3 days left to do all she has said or I will die.... She disappeared.

I opened the door, this time, it yielded. I
came out of my room sweating profusely and panting like one who ran a race. It dawned on me that i was in a very big trouble, oh 2go has dealt with me.
Why are all these happening to me why me. I cried. I really cried.

Two known cultists who lived in my lodge
were finally arrested by the police that
fateful day, leaving me very surprised. I
couldn’t imagine what the police had on
them.
That very night, I couldn’t sleep. I kept
hearing Nmeka’s voice over and over again.
If I close my eyes, it was her image I would see.
Very early the next day, I packed few of my clothes in a little bag and headed to Nmeka’s school to find her room mate. I had to do what she said in order to live. I am the only child of my parents.

I got to her school that morning and saw
her room mate locking the door,with a little travelling bag by her side. it seems she was about travelling too.
She didn’t recognise me because the day I visited it was almost dark. I told her I am
Nmeka’s friend. She looked at me
suspiciously . “Where is she, she has been
missing, have you seen her?” She went on
asking questions.
I rather told her ”I want to see her parents,
can you be of help?” She replied that she was going to the village to settle things with Nmeka’s parents. She told me that Nmeka’s parents accused her of knowing what happened to their daughter since they lived in the same room. I pitied the poor girl.
I was relieved that at last i would see her
parents. But I never knew what awaited me................

Join me anytime for the final Episode of Dilemma. See you....

DILEMMA ....... Episode 9

“What?, what’s the reason for that?. Why
will the police want to search my room?” I
asked desperately. “They just want to search all the rooms in the lodge.
According to them it’s the procedure. You
are not the only person, so you have to come as fast as you can or else they might break into your room when it gets to your turn” he explained patiently. “Fine I’ll be there” I murmured half-heartedly, breathing deeply.

It really took me about two hours to make
up my mind on returning to the lodge,
because I was so scared that the police might find something in my room. A lipstick, lock of hair or anything incriminating, I feared.
Though I was so sure that I wiped my room clean before travelling, but they were experts and I was scared something could be found somehow.
However I finally returned to my lodge very late in the afternoon with the hope that my room has been broken into. But on the contrary it was as I left it (still locked).

I quickly met the hostel president with
questions in my heart and Immediately he
saw me he smiled, offering his hand for a
handshake. “It’s very fine you showed up
today. All the rooms that are yet to be
searched will be searched tomorrow.
Some students travelled like you did which is very bad and as a result the cops decided to search the rooms of available students today while the locked ones will be searched tomorrow whether the owners return or not”he explained, settling my curiosity.
I returned to my room a bit relieved and
satisfied, quickly cleaned up everything in it one more time, washing the bed sheet
Nmeka laid on over and over.
In fact, I made sure my room was very
much in order before resting that day.
My room was so clean that the three
policemen who searched it early the next day commented on it.
“Seems like you are the cleanest student in this lodge. Your room is so clean” one of them said to me as he tossed around my properties, without suspecting a thing. I smiled nervously, Unknown to them the room they were searching was the main crime scene and they left without finding anything, leaving me a bit relaxed.
“What next?” I asked myself as I watched
them leave.
I bolted the door as they left and took a sigh of relief with my eyes closed,resting my back against the door.
Immediately,I heard a voice right there in
my room calling my name slowly:
“JUUUDE, JUUUDE…”

I opened my eyes and behold, it was
Nneka sitting on my bed!........

annnikky:
Na wah oo, this tori is kinda scary suspense everywhere.
Gud story tho kip it up

Here comes the part. 9

DILEMMA ....... EPISODE 8
I nervously opened my door and came face to face with the hostel president, a policeman in uniform and the S.U.G president.
I stared at them with panic. “Please can we come in?. The officer has some important questions to ask you,” the S.U.G president explained while my heart froze.
My guilty conscience was at its worst that moment.
I fearfully allowed them into the room, my
heart pounding furiously as the policeman took a sharp look round my room before
settling down on the only plastic chair I had,while the two students with him stood and stared at me. I knew they all noticed my nervous behaviour.

“I’m here to question you as a result of the body discovered in your lodge. The dead girl found under the stairs”.
The serious looking officer said to me as he brought out a small notebook which he opened. “So what’s your name?” he asked. I breathed deeply and looked at the hostel
president who nodded to me in agreement. I slowly murmured my name, repeating it twice. “You saw the girl’s body right?” the officer asked.

I swallowed hard and nodded. Nmeka’s
image quickly appeared in my head. “yes I
saw her” I answered weakly,
“do you know her?” he asked, sending my
heart flying with the question. “um no, not at all” I replied, “are you sure?” he asked again,
“yes I’m sure” I answered,
“you mean you have never ran across her
even in school premises?” he asked. “Yes I’m sure, I haven’t seen her anywhere” I
answered a bit boldly.
He marked something in his book, closed it and stood up.
“thanks for your time, but I may be back” he grinned before leaving.
I locked my door, fell on my bed and
covered my head with a pillow. “Liar, damn you liar” i heard Nmeka’s voice scream in my head, sickening me.

I laid awake all night, scared and afraid. I
was scared of Nmeka’s ghost, scared of the police and scared of being discovered. A very terrible wind equally blew that night as if rain was about to pour, but there came no rain, instead the wind kept making strange noises on my window which seriously terrified me.
Early Tuesday morning i packed some of
my clothes in a small bag and headed to my friend Gideon’s lodge. I just couldn’t stay all alone in my room anymore.
Unfortunately Gideon and his neighbours
were all too eager to hear the dead girl’s
story, especially how she looked, who was being suspected and so on.

They wanted to hear everything without
knowing that they were upsetting me with their questions.
The more I managed to answer, the more
questions they asked to the extent that I
almost lost the remaining part of my mind.
Early Wednesday morning I headed home to be with my surprised parents who were very astonished to see me return home in the middle of the week. I managed to mutter some lousy explanation which I believed they never truly bought.

But then it was as if the devil had so much interest in my case, because by 8:15am the next day, the hostel president called me on phone, asking me to show up at the lodge.
“The police needs to search your room”. He ended up saying.......

DILEMMA .......episode 7
The school S.U.G president soon showed up with the school authorities and the police, quickly dispersing everyone.
“You can now go on with your various
activities, we are here to take charge of the situation.
Be rest assured that the person behind this outrageous crime will be caught. If you have any information to share please don’t hesitate to bring it to our knowledge.
Mind how you talk to the press or better still leave us to do the talking, “you are warned” the Dean of student affairs addressed us before we were dispersed. I returned to my room extremely scared and afraid. I couldn’t imagine what the outcome of their investigation will be.
I didn’t leave my room all through the rest of that day.
I simply stayed indoors with my conscience punishing me. I was ready to do anything for my fears to go away.

Nneka’s body was taken away later in the
afternoon. I couldn’t help but peep through my window as an ambulance carried the poor thing away.
Yes the time was precisely 3:15pm. I really couldn’t imagine what caused the delay in
moving a body discovered very early in the morning.
However some minutes after her body was taken away. A strange kind of dizziness took over my entire body. It was as if my room was spinning round with me in the center.
I lost balance and collapsed on my bed,
breathing heavily while sweat drenched my body.
I couldn’t believe nor understand what was happening. I never experienced such a thing before, but luckily I regained myself some minutes after.

I tried hard to think what could have
happened, but just couldn’t figure out
anything. Not only was my eyes now seeing things that never was, the rest of my body has equally joined in the game.
Could Nneka’s spirit be behind this?” I
wondered Miserably.
“But I didn’t kill anybody. It was just an
accident. I did what I had to do to save face” I kind of spoke aloud before realising myself.
A sharp knock of my door, quickly notified me of a visitor waiting outside. “Was I heard?
Is it the police?” I nervously asked myself as I sluggishly went to my door......

DILEMMA ....... Episode 6
The sharp cry shook the entire lodge,
frightening me tremendously. My heart
furiously pounced, the day of reckoning
finally has arrived.
I waited for few minutes in my room as I
tried so hard to compose myself. Just like
other students, I had to check out the cause of the cry and noise coming from downstairs.

I wished I had traveled, but truly it was very bright of me to stay put in the lodge instead of traveling, because I had to be around in order to follow events and plan ahead.
Moreover the hostel was a large one but it
never stopped students who lived in it from knowing each other’s habit and as I hardly traveled, who knows I could be suspected. Yes I was so scared that I felt every step I took could lead anyone to suspect me even though I was far from being one of the hostel terrors nor cultists who could easily be suspected as the brain behind such a deadly act.

I drank a glass of water before heading out of my room. I slowly headed downstairs, towards where I dumped Nneka’s body days ago, you can’t imagine how nervous and scared I was as I slowly made my way to that place.
Hundreds of students were already at the
staircase when I got there, students from the neighbouring hostels alike. I greeted some of my neighbours who told me of the terrific discovery. I pretended to be shocked and forced my way to the front of the crowd.

After a little struggle, I succeeded in getting
close to Nmeka’s body which was already
pulled out from the staircase. The poor girl was now lying just some steps away from where she was originally dumped, looking
pale as ever. I drew a bit close as if I was
very concerned.
“Do you know her?” a girl quickly asked
me. I turned to see almost everyone staring curiously at me. I swallowed hard with tension. My guilty conscience shook me like
an earthquake. “What?” I stammered. “Do you
know her?” the hostel president asked, before
the girl could repeat her question. “Hell no.
That’s exactly what I came to check” I
managed to reply, dashing all their hopes.
“Nobody knows her. She has no I.D card or anything” the girl who asked the first question explained, while I shrugged, saying nothing.
The relief I felt as I heard the girl’s
explanation was quite enormous. I really had feared the question was asked with suspicion.
However I still feared the worst was yet to
come, I knew there must surely be a
scapegoat. A sacrificial lamb who will be
blamed for such a horrible crime. Who will it be?
The last few days of my life seemed to be the beginning of my end
"I'm done for" I cursed under my breathe.............

DILEMMA ......episode 5

I cracked my head searching for a good river but couldn’t remember any. In desperation I thought of other alternatives.
“A good bush will do” I concluded as I
remembered a very large bush, four hostels behind mine. The bush really was at the end of the street, a yet to be developed plot. But I was very unsure of the best time to head to the place.
I knew there wasn’t a way I could go there
without being seen by many students and my movement might draw suspicion due to the sack bag in my possession and if eventually Nmeka’s body is found, tongues may talk and I could be caught, I reasoned.

“The only solution was to head out of the
school environs with my load perhaps
towards the small mechanic village which
was fifty naira bus drop away from my lodge, find a good refuse dump site and dispose everything” .
Luckily her body wasn’t discovered that
morning and so by 7:45am, I smashed her phone sim and memory card wrapped the
debris in a small nylon before flinging it with the phone back into the sack bag. Soon after I left the lodge with my load and headed towards mechanic village, nervous, shaken but determined.

It was very easy to find a burning refuse
dump site when I got there. I quickly
disposed everything and headed back to my lodge a bit relieved.
All that was left was to sit and wait for the
poor girl to be discovered.
I kept to myself, acting cool and trying hard not to behave in a way that could draw suspicion. It wasn’t easy, I couldn’t eat, sleep nor do anything. I was conscious of everything, plus I began seeing things. Strange weird things,
Perhaps it was my imagination, perhaps it
was guilt and fear but I truly wasn’t myself anymore.

I didn’t kill the girl but I wronged
her spirit. I felt she was everywhere I went, staring at me with her dark eyes.
Then she was discovered!
An early monday cry from one of the cleaners
ripped the whole lodge apart..........

DILEMMA ....... Episode 4

I quietly carried her to the staircase, my
heart beating wildly as I carried the heavy
load. I needed a whole lot of luck to avoid
detection.
Only a single mistake could destroy
everything I had planned. Luckily I got to my destination without being
seen. I calmly dumped and pushed her
well,underneath the staircase (of the first
floor).

“If things go as planned perhaps, it will take a day or two before she’s discovered” I reasoned before another idea came into my head.
I rushed up to my room, grabbed a bucket of water , came down and poured it all over her.I wasn’t a biologist but i felt it could destroy any evidence like my prints which were on her body.
Yea it might sound silly but i felt a bit relieved after doing it even though the water quickly spilled out towards the exit door but it wasn’t enough to draw attention.

I grabbed the empty bucket and returned to my room. I knew nobody would investigate a spilled water in a lodge filled with students. Unless of course the cleaners.
As I got to my room, I quickly cleaned up
everywhere, packing up all of Nmeka’s things in a big black sack bag including her phone which was the first in the list, but before doing it I first, logged into her 2go account (luckily, the application opened without asking
for a password) and deleted everything about me, including my phone numbers and text messages we shared. I knew the police had the means to get me if they were serious but I did everything just as a precaution. I equally washed the bathroom, and changed my bed
sheet, made sure everything was in order
before sitting down to rest.

I was so terrified and nervous. I needed all the good luck in the world. I was scared of being caught. My future just stood before me, glaring at my face. I knew i did the worst atrocity by trying to hide the poor girl, but I had no choice than to do it. I wasn’t ready to be hanged for something I had no hand in.
Nervously I waited for the hostel gate to be opened, the success of my plans depended on it.
I had to dispose Nneka’s things in a place very far away. Precisely in a river........

What next? Let's see