₦airaland Forum

wtf,

but why did you waste my time readin dis for 10 whole minutes,

very good, women eh, very difficult to please

no bi john wey u go harass, nah dat perv of a teacher

[i][/i]picks up his bag and walks away, shaking his head, wondering where nairaland is headin to?

please read d archives b4 postin dis, its a used jke men

just come imagine you enter hospital room and the doctor dey joke wit ur wife, \

i

mykali:
i support the higligted part of the sentence. . . . .

i hope ur own doctoring no go fetch you AIDS, thank Jehovah i don warn you

ben jay, wat is happenin, abi u don loose am finally

jeovy, a beg you be detective, which kibd question u deh ask me so, i go vex oh

wait wen i pass dey house i go browse and ask am, for you

i don tire for they wey peeps dey laff at dis joke for tru to God dat doctor nah me broda blood broda, naw see how i come shame am jus to make peeps laff, oh dear Sam go kill me wen i leave dis internet cafe,
JESUS CHRIST

fellow brethen in jokes m glad u enjoyed, stay tuned as i try my best to weave more in for you,
for rib cracking, mind blowing jokes, d name to look out for is diamonleda

One day a hippie gets a ride on a public bus and sees a hot young nun. He sits down next to her and promptly asks if she would like to have sex, to which she immediately says no and walks off the bus. The bus driver leans over and says “Hey guy I know how to get that nun to have sex with you…”

Naturally the hippie asks, and the bus driver tells him that every night at midnight the nun goes to an old graveyard to pray for god to forgive her for her past, and that he should dress up like god and tell the nun she will be forgiven if she has sex with you.

The hippie gives his thanks and runs to the nearest costume shop.

Later that evening the hippie gets ready for his big night and drives down to the graveyard and sees the nun praying, on her knees. He says “Behold, I have heard your prayers and you shall be forgiven if you have sex with me!”

The nun agrees but asks if they can have anal sex in order to keep her virginity. The hippie agrees and once they are finished the hippie jumps back and pulls off his mask and says “Surpise, its me the Hippie!”

The nun jumps up and pulls off her mask and says “Surprise, its me the bus driver!”





statue fever

At a famous inner city park you’ll find two beautiful statues, one of a nude man and the other of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years when, one day, an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two of them to life.

The angel tells them, “As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you’ve wished to do the most.”

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery. The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing.

The angel again tells them, “You two still have fifteen minutes left, would you care to do it again?”

He asks her “Shall we?”

She eagerly replies, “Oh, yes, let’s! But this time change positions. I’ll hold the pigeon down and you can poop on its head!”

A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a local gynecologist. The doctor took one look at her and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately asked her to UnCloth, afterwhich the doctor began to stroke her thigh.

Doing so, he asked her, “Do you know what I’m doing?” “Yes,” she replied, “you’re checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.” “That is right,” said the doctor.

He then began to handle her breasts. “Do you know what I’m doing now?” he asked. “Yes,” the woman said, “you’re checking for any lumps or breast cancer.” “Correct,” replied the shady doctor.

Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, “Do you know what I’m doing now?” “Yes,” she said. “You’re getting herpes; which is why I came here in the first place.”

if u cud turn back d hands of time wat wud you do??

answer and win a free ticket to which eva city u want,

ha ha ha poor woman, dat one nah dey last thing d old mama go expect [sup][/sup]

BACHELOR COMMANDMENTS


:

1. Thou shalt always fool around on your girlfriend (that way when she dumps you, you can always get the last laugh).

2. Thou shalt not screw thy girlfriend's friends unless you're sure you can get away with it AND you do it in her bed.

3. Thou shalt never spend more than $100 without first getting in her pants.

4. Thou shalt never marry the first girl you screw after getting out of a "slump."

5. Thou shalt never admit to being in a slump, it is always a "lull."

6. Thou shalt always have beer in the fridge.

7. Thou shalt always blow off your girlfriend at least once a month to get drunk with your buddies.

8. Thou shalt always forget to call when performing the previous commandment.

9. Thou shalt never go on a blind date with someone described as having "a good personality."

10. Thou shalt never eat anything high in fiber or low in cholesterol.

11. Thou shalt never drink nonalcoholic beer.

12. Thou shalt never covet thy neighbor's wife unless she covets back.

13. Thou shalt always leave the seat up.

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a
> > number
> > of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he
had a
> > terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the
pickle
> > slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to
talk
> > about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He
vowed to
> > overcome
> > the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came
home
> > absolutely ashamed. His wife could see at
> > once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she
> > asked.
> > "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to
put
> > my
> > penis into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill, you didn't." "Yes, I
did."
> > "My
> > God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what
> > happened
> > with the pickle slicer?" "Oh, she got fired too."

One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps
his
> > wife
> > on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over
and
> > says:
> > I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I
want
> > to
> > stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep.
A
few
> > minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This
time he
> > whispers
> > in her ear: "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
> >

you crazy guy, how u go perform if ur wife get dual tin abi u get one which dey complement, ??