₦airaland Forum

Blessedgod:
To register for COREN (HND + B. ENG)
- You need two years work experience after the date on your B. ENG Certificate before you can combine the two certificates to register for COREN.

Thanks so much
So, there is no need for NSE?

Please I need enquiries about been a COREN register.
I finished my HND 10years ago and acquire B.Eng this year.
I've never register under NSE or any body before. Though I'd construction experience over the years
What are the necessary things to do to get registered

Fiscus105:
Wen men staring on ladies, 8/10 of such guys, their 3rd legs already tormenting them.

I doubt if you're a guy coz your mentality is below that of a 10yr old kid

InDiscov:
how many mah?

20000maH and it charges my phone of 5000mah more than twice and bought it less than 8k

bestfriday:
Still available

Is it still available?
Can we negotiate

128gb for 240k.... that's all I've

ReacherSaidNoth:
Avoid those cheap power banks on Jumia, especially that terrible brand called Ace Elec.

New Age is the most reliable.

I've been using Ace Elec for a while now. About 5 months ago, and serve me well to be honest

Kobojunkie:
. If this is in fact the case, then that means OP's control issues are becoming unhinged! If she is not cheating, then OP's fixation on the wife being able to communicate with someone other than himself is a problem — clearly toxic controlling behavior. And suggesting he dig his heels further to exert more control over here is a terrible idea.🥱🥱🥱

The problem you people have is understand message concept

Kobojunkie:
OP, you said you had been spying on your wife. That is controlling behavior. You also indicated that you made rules for your wife. That is also controlling behavior. That you found out now that she is having this emotional affair with her colleague through your spying DOES NOT remove the fact that you had been having control issues in the marriage for a while before, does it? And then there is the supposed contract you said you intend to foist on her, a contract which reads more like a maid/nanny contract than a contract between people who are interested in healing a love relationship. Seems the marriage needs to take a break.

My first comment to you was made based on the fact that you seemed to have, in the process of your snooping, come to confirm that your wife had started cheating on you with this other man. Given that you already made up your mind to kick her out, I was there with you doing exactly that. Now that I have seen the contract you intend to push on her for staying, I am even more convinced that you two are better off living in separate spaces than under the same roof. Deal with your individual issues separately, maybe consider a marriage counselor eventually, and then consider whether the marriage should go forward after that or not.

Go and read what I wrote again
I suspected her which made me spy on her to get fact

Kobojunkie:
I am not a feminist. Neither am I traditional/religious. I am merely a common-sense-er.

Where it pertains to humans, control is a toxic behavior, and suggesting more of that toxicity in marriage is a recipe for further steeping the marriage in toxicity. It never yields benefits for those involved, particularly the children caught in such situations. This, studies have shown.

So, in conclusion, when I notice something is about to go on between her and her colleagues, I shouldn't have try to find out, not to talk of trying to check her fone to get through the root?

Kobojunkie:
. You are suggesting he further exert more control over the woman's life because she is now cheating on him? How is that love or a healthier behavior than cheating?

I'm sorry to ask, but are you a feminist?
Can you be submissive to a man?

Diamond098454:
Why will you send your wife back to her father's house just because you saw Hello Sir Good Afternoon? You suspected them because there closeness threatens you and if time is not taking this man may end up on bed with your wife.
I really understand your fears but hey, your wife is a sweet lady , keep discussing with her let her understand the dangers and how she's hurting you.

You can block and delete the man contacts from her phones without her knowledge

This is one of the challenges women face

Lol. Your write up is funny to me
Delete her colleague's number. And that will solve the issue, as if they will never meet again

Onegai:
This thing na spiritual matter!

And it is a global issue (read oyinbo social media and see the destruction the devil has caused. Office Affairs are the No.1 Marriage Destroyer. It's because you're seeing the person everyday, they'll be looking like Idris Elba meanwhile they're Akpororo).

Even Pastor Jerry Eze of NSPPD prayed about it last week or so: "there's a man who had a dream about his wife and daughter, now he hates them, he has met another woman and can't stop thinking about her".

The devil has no new tricks but he does have power. However the Lord has given you AUTHORITY over him! Claim that authority and protect your family.

Stand in the gap for your wife and lift her in repentance to Jesus.

Because nothing, nothing in this world will stop anybody from cheating...save themselves making a decision NOT TO CHEAT

So your prodigal wife must find her way back to the Lord and to you.

And one day, her eye will clear, it always does. She can either lose it all or still have something to hold onto.

All the best brother, and I'm sorry for your pain.

Thanks so very much. I'm relieved with your words. God bless you ma'am

NotOfThisWorld:
Why are people blaming the OP? His wife his having an emotional affair, which IS cheating. Even if she hasn't yet slept with the man, physical affairs often starts from emotional affairs. Married people chatting with the opposite sex should be a no-no, as that's not fair to your spouse.

Her locking her phone all of a sudden is also not right and signifies she could be hiding something. It's a different story if you're single but married? Nah, that's not right. Married people should not lock their phones. I can't imagine my spouse locking his phone and I would have to seek his permission before accessing it.

If she wants to keep chatting with him, then you too find a side chick and be doing what she's doing. Let's see how she would feel. I would give you the same advice if you were a woman. I don't like nonsense.

I wonder why people keep blaming me for checking her fone. My wife for that matter

Onegai:
Dierich (even your name is immature )

You need to mature and mature very quickly.

Your marriage has hit the 7 Year Itch. That's the period in any relationship where the love has faded and both of you have forgotten why you liked each other in the first place and suddenly the grass looks very green outside. 7-10 years period.

Now, if we are to believe you, your wife has admitted to an emotional affair. Yes it hurts, but you caught it on time.

What your wife seems to be suffering from is Limerence (please look it up). Limerence lasts from 3-18 months and has no rhyme or reason (she won't be able to give you concrete answers why she likes the guy so don't bother. Her brain is playing tricks on her, it's why she blames the devil).

Now, locking up emotionally and threats will only make her feel lonelier, crazier and make that guy look like Banky W (fine and elegant) mixed with Bovi (good sense of humour) and Nathaniel Bassey (upright Christian).

Meanwhile the guy is a mix of Yul Edochie, 2face and Emeka Ike in real life.

It's the 80:20 rule: what she liked about him is 20, what is rubbish is 80, but she can only see the 20 and her math skills and logic have failed her.

By the way, this happens to men as well

So what you really need right now is COMMUNICATION!

Open phones, open laptops, shine torchlight everywia (because the devil thrives in secrecy).

Then she needs ACCOUNTABILITY! Now is the time to look for an older Mama in church or somewhere who will start guiding her and screaming into her ears about Consequences. And the best consequences will be losing access to her child via shared custody after Divorce. No Mother wants that.

Finally, you need FORGIVENESS. She's not ready for remorse (she's lying if she apologizes now). So you need to forgive her now for breaking your trust. And only God can give you that strength, now is the time to delve into the bible deeply. She will join you.

Eventually, once you bring her close, she will tell you the 20% that attracted her to that man. I assure you, it is something that she's lacking in herself, that she went to look outside for, rather than look inwards and fix up.

Human Beings struggle mightily with reflecting inwardly.

If you weather this storm, your marriage will be stronger because you would have matured, lead her and protected your family. She will be eternally grateful that when she lost her mind, you were there to pick up the pieces.

Eventually, she'll want to leave her job, when she's recovered and you've fixed your marriage. Shame will not want her facing that man on a daily basis. Let her do so.

Hmmmm
All I can say is, I appreciate this a lot
For that name that sound immature. Check out when I created it.
But to be honest, I appreciate your response

@ jerchance and churro
She apologized several which I told her she's going out. After pleading, I gave her some rules. I'll send d screenshot. I'm going to print the document and we sign. After if I notice any good changes maybe after 6 months, den maybe I'll consider her back like u said. But if any shit happens, den she's out

DBestDoc:
Your pride ee, them fit use am build 3 storey building and materials go still remain.

You think single parenthood only affects a woman? Everybody involved, including the children must be affected for sure.

Send that woman packing and then take out time to learn conflict resolution and allow yourself mature emotionally. If you continue with that marriage and this same impulsive behavior, the disaster will still happen sooner or later.

All the best!

So, all what you said now is I shouldn't have react when such things are happening between them and my wife locking her fone so that she can continue chatting the man
Remember, I said both are talking about how much feelings they av for each other.
U mean I shouldn't have react?
For me to tell her not to chat the said man again and she eventually lock her fone so she could be able to chat him. Now tell me, does that show she value her own family?

H

calabaman:
That she was chatting him doesn't prove she is cheating with the said man.

Mr Op, I thought it's only women who check mens phones.

Or are you telling me you don't call/text/email work colleagues?

In my opinion - focus on what matters and allow sleeping dogs rest.

Yes I'm married like you. ...and respect boundaries, even though in the initial years - wifey was fond of checking my phone but she's moved on from that childish act.

I understand u but I don't think u understand the narration
I never tell u that I'm not focus on something else but if I see something that could be dangerous for me, I should just leave her to do that and never talk
After discovering my wife and the other man professing love, so I shouldn't act on it
Why is it that it's only man all of you will still blame later.
I and my wife never do family planning, so if she had sex with someone else and got pregnant, who will b d father of the child?

SpencerForbes:
I don’t know much about your home and family isn’t all sizes fit all. But before you got married, what’s was your plans to either reward or punish her if things like this should occur

For now, I think you should discuss with her about her actions and what you’re going to do. You can send her back to her parents house till you find out she’s change before taking her back but make sure you tell her why.

You can also stop her from going to the job. If you can provide well without her help or even helping her get a new job. But just know if a lady wants to cheat, she’ll always find a way. For her to outrightly disrespect you deserves some form of punishment because it means she sees you as weak and if you keep pardoning every mistake, what you fear might occur.

Thanks very much.

breathless:
Bro, the first five years of marriage is sometimes characterized by lots of trials, temptations and "tribulations" one of which you're dealing with now. There's perhaps more to this than you know and your wife is not telling you about. I'm tempted to say she may be listening to a more "superior" voice for her to be locking her phone and insisting you let her know when you want to access it.
Also, you need to accept the fact that you now live in a foreign land that (may) favour women more and that puts you at risks and disadvantage of losing more.
I suggest you have more intentional conversations with her. You can first start by asking her what she fancies about her colleague, what she thinks is missing in your marriage and what you can do to fill in the gap, id she has thought of the consequences of her action and the effect on your son etc.
On your own part, begin to compliment her looks especially when she's dressed for any outing (including work), consciously occupy her time when she's at home or off work by gisting/gossiping, "netflix and chill", dates, walks/strolls, help out in the kitchen and other chores.
Oh lest I forget, make sure you engage her frequently and have lots of s*x in different parts/corners of your apartment spontaneously with either clothes on, partially on or unclad (with your son out of sight) and show "no mercy".

We av talked about this which she stated that she don't even know why such is happening that she find nothing attractive in him. And she claim it to be the devil's work
I even had a dream 3 days b4 I caught the moves that our marriage crashed.
But after I gave her rules, I expect her to follow it. Despite her been sober about it and promises, and I've told her to stop messaging him no matter what, she still go ahead. That pissed me off totally meaning she doesn't really value her home, if not she supposed to protect her home

madridguy:
So as an African man you don't know how to clip your woman's wing? You don't know how to tame her without saying a word?

But all I need is advice. Like I said, u should have tell me some things I should know and how to handle this case. I would have appreciate that more than trying to blame me or something. Man to man, u can give me your view and how to handle it if it were to be u

madridguy:
I am really scared for this and next generation of African men. African men cannot control their women again.

Our forefathers married many wives and they're able to control them and they still live long and today a man with a man his already having BP over a woman.

You mean I shouldn't have bother about her or who's clinching with or either or not she's cheating?

SpencerForbes:
Is that what you’re scared of in this generation of DNA
Every woman is liable to cheat. You just have to pretend you aren’t watching and she’s bound to loosen up and then you can catch her red handed. She had a life before you and will still have one with or without you. Let her cheat and make sure you have enough evidence and you won’t need any advice. But for now, I’ll still declare her innocent because she can deny the motive of the letter.

You even told us she isn’t like that. So why should she change immediately? If possible, control your emotions. Ask other workers about the both of them or ask someone to watch her for you and if she eventually cheats, you’ll have evidence.

Caveat: if she finds out, her trust for you will diminish and since you’re expecting her to fall, she’ll definitely fall because you won’t stop. The trust issue is already there but it’s best to have evidence so you don’t accuse her wrongly.

To the bold. I wanted to give her a 2nd change and to control her sense back that's why I interrupt them b4 it get out of hand but violating the rules shows she didn't learn still
I don't know if u understand me

badaru911:
.... Well, don't send her packing because of what you saw on her phone.. There are many good ways to show your wife that you are angry with her.. You can stop eating her food and start buying your food outside and bringing it home to eat..
.. But have you talk to her co-worker, maybe telling her to call him and put the phone on speaker and telling her to introduce him to you, chat with him and introduce yourself to him in a friendly way... It's good for a husband to be jealous.. But don't be hasty in sending her out..

Thanks so much
This man is well known by me. I mean, we know each other well

SpencerForbes:
Married men and insecurities🤝
Why are you spying? if she’s cheating, you are bound to know later on. You’ve probably been looking for means to chase her out.

What if she wanted to ask him a question relating to work

Go ahead and chase the mother of your kids because of ‘hi’

Until u father someone else child, u will stop saying this

immortalcrown:
This is not cogent enough. Calm down. Be patient. Don't strike now.

What got me annoyed is that, despite how much she beg and cry, she even told me she thought her marriage has broken yet she didn't learn.
Why lock her WhatsApp and later message him

Xscape1993:
Well, I think you need to still hold on my dear. Still play the fool here.

I've confronted her and told her family as well.
They are d one that begged the first time I caught her and after I set my rules (No more chatting) she still violate the rules

banjicom:
Oga, you better calm down and don't let anger destroy your home. Even if you send her packing do you think there are better women out there? I believe there are other ways you can handle it

That's why I put it here. If you're a married man and you know how well I can handle this

Xscape1993:
Is she truly having an affair with this colleague? Why don't do more findings with concrete evidence before taking this decision? My candid advice ooo.

My evidence is that, they chatted and both of them stating that they've feelings for each other. meaning it's about to start when I caught her.
They haven't really started but you should know when two people who's about to fall in love

Please don't mind my written English
I need help at this state coz I'm totally broken

I've been with my wife for 7 years now. We dated for 3 years and got married 4 years ago
I met her a virgin which made me cherish her and respect her a lot.
We had a son together now and we are living well and I've seen her as been faithful and submissives even supportive a lot
Fast forward to this moment. We relocated almost 2 years ago and she started working. Recently I notice her moves with one of her colleagues at work which I notice they started having some kind feelings which I interrupted and I told her family which we all settle it. She was sobber and said it's the work of d devil. Though no sexual stuff between them, just some kind of colleague been to clinch which it's getting out of hand
I set some rules which one of it is that if she dare chat him or talk to him about anything not related to work or account, I will send her packing which she assure me.
I've been spying which I saw it that they've not even chatting though they don't usually see at work. The man is just doing part time which he comes 6 times a month.
4 days ago, my wife lock her fone, and said she doesn't want me to be spying that whenever I want to check her fone, I should tell her and she'll surely open it immediately for me.
So, yesterday, she's chatting on her fone and I playful collect her fone, check her WhatsApp and saw she message this Same man (Hello sir, good afternoon)
I was so annoyed and my heart broken totally, after several warnings.
Now I want to send her packing just for her to learn that, if she turned out to be a single mother, she'll got tired of men after they must av play her and turn her to trash
I'm confused and now I've packed her bag, waiting for her to come from work and send her away tomorrow morning
Or what advice can you give. What's your view

She isn't like this honestly. I've check her well for several years coz I'm a sensitive guy, until now that I saw some stupid act