₦airaland Forum

Jesuspistol:
That's my point too. You shouldn't take a second wife spontaneously. You should let people know the reason for such action especially because offering 3-5minutes sex once or twice a month is very low and bad for any man. Asking beyond that does not mean you have excessive libido. It's rather your wife who has very low sex drive likely inspired by considering only herself or perhaps, hormonal imbalance.

Amidst other issues, my wife n I have it daily. When she's tired, she teases me with a kiss apology (I insistently trained her to do that though) and I'm sure some women do better than that. What I'm grooming my wife to do now which she's not been doing well is initiating sex during the day. I'm usually the one who initiates that when it ever happens. So, many men are enjoying what you think is a libido problem. It's your wife who should work on herself. The problem emanates from her.

So, what do you think I should do now? Report to someone close to me from her family, like her mom?
Coz this is really bad of her. Imagine it's even once last month. I traveled, spent 6 days in another state, when I came back she don't even try to initiate it as a sign of missing my presence. When I tried to do it, she'll behave as if she don't understand what I need. If not that I have it enough during my 6 days trip, I would be having wet dreams by now.
And I don't like the fact that my wife will be with me at home and I'll be think & missing another lady giving me what I really want.
It's not as if I'm not taking care of her, if I show u her throwback b4 marriage and after marriage, you'll know I give her everything she want.

Jesuspistol:
Gracious goodness. What else does a man have to enjoy in marriage sef? Respect, she won't give, sex she won't give. Most huge responsibilities such as house rent, school fees etc are on our shoulders and when the children become productive, the women will go and sit with them abroad for omuguo living the man to himself to die lonely early.

How more selfish can a woman be; giving the person she's supposed to submit to, sex only 2ce in a month and once she cums in 5 minutes, it's over. That's super selfish. This is one occurrence that disputes the sheepish advice given to couples in wedding not to allow a 3rd party in their relationship. That advice requires a lot than many couples can offer. Here's a man who admits his weakness and positively wants to make it work between him and his wife but is wife does not have same understanding. How can she level up to such understanding without someone (a third party) teaching her the lessons she's refused to learn on her own. The only alternate option is for her to learn the hard way which is to lose her man to some other girls who provide what he wants.

That's why I advocate for men marrying women about 1-2 years older. Women ordinarily have very low reasoning capacity let alone the younger ones. Expecting a very young girl to be a good cook, good sexually, good mother, good career woman, good this, good that. In all honesty, her emotional and reasoning intelligence is too low to bear all that. It might look similar with older women but there are significant differences.

My brother, the way out if I may advice you is still the old way which is to report to those who have her control at hand in her family: her parents especially. Let them know that you spoke out. If she changes after you speak out fine, if she doesn't, any action you take thereafter, the result of which may be having a child outside wedlock is justified. Stay strong brother

I don't want to discuss that kind of issues with anyone, especially both my family and her own.
I've spoke to her several times, she'll promise to change but still she won't. I know some people may criticize me that I'm jobless, but hell no. I'm hustling real hard but it's just my libido. Within less than 3 weeks, if I don't, wet dreams will set in.
This makes me to cheat which I want to totally stop this year but I don't think she'll give me the chance to stop cheating.
And if I should take a second wife then that's the end

Namaster:


This is NOT about low libido.
She has the ability to give good sex, she just DOESN'T do it.

This is the action of a deeply MANIPULATIVE woman.

Good sex that should be a GIVEN in marriage is being used as a TREAT in yours.

You know what to do.

If I know what to do, I won't be here
I've discuss about the issue with her several times, she'll promise to change and later on she won't comply

elmagnifico411:
So sorry I can’t help u. I’m in a similar situation here.. married for 9yrs with 2 wonderful boys. Sometimes there could be no sex for a month sef.. this last December that just went by, it was just two times. I have talked and talked, and stopped talking sef. U only get it good when she comes around, I mean when she initiates it. If not, I get to write and write before getting laid. I have helped myself out sha.. currently in a relationship with a single mom who’s got her own apartment so I don’t get to pay hotel bills and shiii.. even slept over on Christmas Eve. See ehn, right about now, I don’t even feel any guilt, though I’m being cautious. If she ever finds out, I’ll apologize and move on. I don already seal my mind.

We are almost the same truly. That my ex is also a single mom. She's really good and match my s*xual fantasy. I wish my wife can be at least 50% like her but hell know
The only time I enjoyed our sex life is whenever she did something wrong and trying to apologize and initiate sex.
This last December, we only had it once. Only when I went to the other woman I enjoyed my time

Good afternoon, Nairaland community. I'm seeking your guidance on a sensitive issue affecting my marriage. My wife and I have been married for almost four years, and we have a beautiful three-year-old son. She's a wonderful partner - young, caring, and hardworking.

However, our sexual relationship has become a point of concern. As someone with a high libido, I've struggled to adjust to our differing sexual needs.

The Issues:

1. Frequency: We rarely have sex, averaging about twice a month. Sometimes, we go an entire month without intimacy.
2. Duration: Even when we do have sex, it's often brief, lasting around 3-5 minutes. Reasons is because she cum within that time range while I'll still be active for 30mins
3. Initiation: Sex usually happens when my wife is in the mood or during ovulation.

My Concern:

This year, I've made a commitment to myself to remain faithful and not cheat on my wife. However, our differing libidos have led me to reconnect with an ex-partner who shares my sexual appetite. Being with her makes me feel satisfied, and I often find myself wishing I had that same connection with my wife.

My Request:

I'm not looking for excuses or justifications for infidelity. Instead, I'm seeking advice on how to address our sexual mismatch and strengthen our relationship. I've taken good care of my wife, and she's happy and content in our marriage.

Please Help:

How can I overcome this challenge and find a more fulfilling sexual relationship with my wife? I'm committed to our marriage and want to ensure that our differing libidos don't drive us apart.

Sonnobax15:

My only pain in all of these is the fact that she may likely get married to a very responsible young man...and will be forming gentle girl .

Omoh,e dey pain me say majority of us wey be men go later settle down marry women wey their own ex's don use take practice different sexxxx styles in the past..

We that married virgin are so lucky

husseinys8:
Oyo state should be the first, expeciallly Mokola in Ibadan

When last have u been to mokola?

Sunshine34:
Why is Oyo State missing

Because it's not among the dirtiest and not among d cleanest

LIVINGICONREBOR:
Mumuboy, all these tales from Uganda na him kpai Una las las.🥱

Weytin do you. U need help?

Skooltynz:
Why are nairalanders always bitter?
He is asking a genuine question,just give her time and rest.

Don't mind dem. A lot of them are kids.
Thanks bro

DonBenny77:
You shouldn't have a male partner if you're jobless and hustling.
You shouldn't have a male partner if you are searching for a live-in job.
Even if you have a male partner you shouldn't have put it on this advert.
Shows you're not so smart
Good luck anyway

She said d reasons why she don't want to go far from her location. So what's d issue with that. Afterall she's not writing formal employment letter. She's just seeking for help from the public.
If u wanna help her den help,, if you don't av anything to offer then move. Coz u wouldn't see the opportunity to take advantage of her condition now you're saying she shouldn't have state that
Is the statement wrong?

chinex11:
this is very dumb to say, she is being responsible by looking for a job for herself but you are her discouraging her and advicing her to put her burden on a young man. I wonder who thought Nigerians that your boyfriend is meant to pay your bills. Only a husband should

U don't av to be surprised, a.lof of immature humans her many here even most of them don't have work

Tohsynetita1:
I know but that statement she put might show something like “ responsibility” for having such. We view things differently, some people might think na sex them they do for that relationship and that’s what’s making her unserious with her life.

It’s like a man that has a phone worth of 2 million and begging for 50k school fees, some people might think , if he’s serious he should go and sell that phone. But if he didn’t mention phone at all, it’s.

All you're saying doesn't matter
All I notice is that guys are pained that she's in a relationship because they already plan to take advantage of her
If you want to help, just help. Even married couples at a point in time will seek for help from people. Doesn't mean coz they are married they can't seek for help from other people
A 23 yr old lady, what do u expect? To be single?
Even if she has a fiance, can he provide everything for her? She's even trying not to depend on him.
You guys are now complaining saying her bf should provide for her.
I'm sure if she doesn't state that, unserious folks could av bombard her DM
Majority of 23 year old are through or going through NYSC. So, u mean they shouldn't seek for employment assistance from the public as long they are into a relationship with a man
Even if they'll be having sex, that's none of anyone business. She's mature to do whatever she want, but seeking for employment assistance means she's responsible and doesn't want to depend on anyone to put food on her table

brain54:
It's not the responsibility to cater for her...

If they aren't married.

You don't know if the guy isn't settled yet.

They is nothing absolutely wrong in starting from a humble beginning. If both of them decide to start a future and grow together. Things will get better.

You people will give this mentality then when girls start leashing on guys they are dating to provide all their needs you guys will turn around to blame them. Now a girl wants to be useful to herself and industrious or hardworking and you telling her to go depend or leach on her boyfriend. Even if the guy is Dangote she should not work? Times have changed o. And the economy isn't smiling.


It's like many people don't know what they even want.

23 years is not too young to date or have a partner. I think it's even a good time.

Nothing wrong in what the lady posted. I thought it was even good she included that because Alot of guys may want to take advantage and she already played it clearly she has a partner.

It worked because those that would demand or try to take advantage already showed their intentions and are backing out.

Who will help would not consider if she is in a relationship or not.

What do you need a person's relationship status for to provide her a job if your intentions are genuine?

God bless u

Jeon:
Use dynewell pills and syrup.

Thanks. Do you have the idea of the price and how effective it is?

Tohsynetita1:
It’s not a matter of sleeping with her but what the poster thought was “having male partner “ despite all the atrocities at that young age. But I don’t see anything wrong in that sha.

Lol, funny. A 23 yrs old lady shouldn't have a partner.
Den what age was she suppose to av a fiance

lexdany:
Omo avoid all those enhancement creams cos side effects later no be be here…advice her to start working out like squats and the rest gradually the booty will increase in size so long as she eats healthy and put on some weight

Thanks a lot
She's just lazy to workout

Backlinker01:
Almost every lab does HIV test. Check a lab nearby.
Hopefully the result comes out good.

Do you av the idea of the amount?

Nairalander, I love my wife and recently she loss weight due to stress from her job. I told her to resign which she did and I've open a shop for her.
But from her weight loss, she loss a lot of fat in her booty. I want her to add to it fast coz I love to knack her at least thrice a week and booty is what freak me most and I don't wanna cheat on her
So, what can you recommend for her to use to gather fat faster over there
Thanks

CriminalTinubu:
Wanted to help until I saw this
Let him provide for you then!

Can't u help her just like Ur sister. Shey because she has a bf now, Una no wan help. Is it until u sleep with someone b4 u can render help? Nawa for you people o

Where else

spencekat:
It should not be more than N1500.Any reputable medical lab can easily do it. Even individuals can purchase the test kits and do it by themselves.

Ok
Thanks a lot

Prophet007:
Uch

Do you have the idea of the price

Good morning Nairalander.
Where can HIV test be done in Ibadan and how much is the best.
I'll appreciate your response. Thanks

hakeem4:
sawtooth staircase

https://youtube.com/shorts/mHxqVztBSrU?si=ASWtpiS0PZMu-IVe

Sir. I just came across this thread. I want to learn staad pro and be a professional just like you.
Please how can you assist me in learning this software

LagosAirport:
What happened. Please tell us, so that others can be protected

It's a very long story. Just know that he's a scammer. If you like fall for his scam

Seun , lalasticlala , and other mods should look into this
Jahzara keep promising people federal government job and defrauding people that are struggling to survive all in the name of helping them to secure a federal government job.
Please look into this matter before people start committing suicide.

Good gesture
He already pay his dues in the football world. He deserves all

I want to kick start the registration process this year to become a registered engineer
I'm HND graduate. Will I need to go for pgd or masters or my HND certificate is enough for me to be coren registered

Dtruthspeaker:
Yes sir! I escaped being dirty like most people so we were both virgins and my wife is exactly as your wife.

But in my case, I was already crying and begging God to walk with me or rather He should show me how to walk which I was practicing to do when she came into my life 21 years back

And we grew together in chastity and in Truth and in the fear of God learning everything He teaches.

I guessed that you were not a virgim and now she is growing in hatred and resentment that you were not. (Of course you yourself would be filled with anger and pain especially when sex comes up when you remember that someone else made her moan and squirt and all)

Which is why God insists on purity of both couples else, it would not be perfect as you know it can be and in the end the marriage begins to tear.

When you have sex with her, she sees how you sexed the other girl or girls and that no soul can bear, even though she does not want to but it is involuntary.

Only God can help you and your marriage

To others out here who have not yet entered into this hole, stay chaste and pure, growing in the fear and love of God. That is the ONLY WAY! To have a very sweet and beautiful and blessed marriage in full and love and great peace.

No one tells us this but I just managed to get here.This is The Only Good Way which can not be obtained without God.

I'm sorry to say this but all u wrote here is just .......... Make I no talk

looks like what I'm passing through as well.
Below is the link to my own thread
https://www.nairaland.com/7504151/wife-too-attractive-me

Dtruthspeaker:
O man only God can solve it. And if both of you are not in perfect sync with God and growing with Him, hmm sorry. For it is He who can resolve all issues. And do note church going so many prayers does not mean you are a Christian.

Your relationship should have started with God and you would not have had this problem.

How do u know if our relationship starts with God or not? Because the way you're talking is as if you're clean than anybody else