₦airaland Forum

I love being single, there's less hassle and drama in my life. Singleness can be a gift when effectively managed.

I've got the freedom to explore and try new things without hesitation or restrictions because of my significant other.

I enjoy my single status so much I often get terrified at the thought of marriage with goose bumps breaking out all over my skin(God help me)

@ Onila & Mynd what's the story with both of you? Are you loving on each other in a backward way? LOL

davidylan: Each time i read this i just have to wonder:
1. Nowhere is it written that you MUST comment on the thread. If the story is too long then move on and find a shorter one to read.
2. How did you folks pass exams? Did you just read summaries?

The story is very well written and interesting... you should give it a shot.

I thoroughly enjoy reading (particularly good books & materials as they work on my imagination) even well written articles are included.

But for Nairaland this was way too much, a summary would have been nice more so that the story was predictable from the moment I began to read it. Maybe am just lazy about reading today because I gave up at some point and went to comments.

OUCH! I hear you and I am impressed that you didn't carry on badly when you stayed with them. Your SIL is one of those ungrateful and intolerable (monster) in-laws no one prays for.

OFF TOPIC
Pls how can I deactivate my nairaland account and permanently close it? I really would appreciate the information on how to do this, can a moderator pls help. It's really important that I do this for security reasons.

Risky Mallam

I hear you and I totally feel you on this issue. I don't like it and I immediately get put off a thread once that begins to happen. The foul & vulgar language as well as insults specifically targeted at certain people because their views don't sit well with others is just so juvenile and immature.

190 and others (whose usernames I can't remember now) used to lead the squad, but it seems like Sexkillz has taken over the role, with Jennykadry leading the pack in the family section. It's so hard to believe this people are different (in reality) from their online personalities.

[b]@ Yomieluv,[/b]reading your story brought back memories of my childhood and it makes me wonder about you & your family. How did you conduct yourselves while staying with your brother and sister in law? Were you helpful around the house or did you carry on like this is my big brother's house with no regard to his wife or their crib? I didn't live in that situation with you and I don't know how your SIL acted. I am not endorsing the ill treatment of others or bad character from a wife, but I hope you can feel me and relate to what I'm saying.

Growing up as a child we constantly had relatives (on my father's side) live with us, and others would often bombard the house day and night with one issue or the other. And I can tell you that it wasn't a pleasant experience for me, because of how they would carry on in our home. They were hardly ever helpful around the house with chores,always came empty handed to visit (and am not exaggerating this)and would love to grab/take away things they could lay their hands on from foodstuffs to electronics that were spoilt and awaiting repairs etc. My mum's relatives on the other hand were the opposite. And I've come to realize that the negative issues often flows from in-laws on the husband's part (am not saying your family had issues).

In fact as far as I am concerned we didn't have a home what we had was a house that served as a restaurant, hotel, TV centre for folks to come watch football, a sick bay where people from the village would come and be dump for my parents to deal with it was just AAAARRRRRGHHH So if I resented that as a teenager/young adult then you can only imagine how my mum felt. It was a miserable environment to live in and I am not willing to put myself through that a second time.

If anyone is going to live with me whether relatives or in-laws you will conduct yourself appropriately,respect me and my crib or you take a walk.It is after all what I do whenever I go visiting family & friends. The key is to apply lots of common sense when staying with people, use your initiative and help with chores without being asked. Make yourself a pleasant visitor to have around so next time you say you would like to visit or need a place to stay, you will be welcomed and your presence will be celebrated not tolerated.

Just saying I know your situation came to an end and you are doing fine now.I only hope you will let it go and not hold this against her now.

@ 2buff

I hear you,but like someone said everyone has a good and bad side. It seems to me though that nairaland in particular and the anonymity it offers brings out the worse in some people. When they start going head to head with the insults,vulgar and profane language I know for a fact they aren't thinking about God.

We tend to forget that nairaland is a part of our lives Yeshua is also interested in, and what we do whether it's on line or off line matters to Him. I used to be guilty of what you (2buff) have complained of and that's because I didn't know any better.

It's not so much about hypocrisy (well at least for me it wasn't) it was more about not understanding what it truly means to honour/please God in all that we do. Now I know better and this means that my words (spoken or written on nairaland and any where else for that matter), my thoughts and actions should honour God.

I don't always win the struggle to keep the dark side of me at bay, but I strive to and you won't hear me make the usual excuses of no one is perfect, only God can judge (me I constantly judge myself oooh and I know when I have messed up big time). Sorry for the long essay, I got carried away but I hope you get my drift.

Mmmmmh, what can I say? Well first of all I enjoyed reading your report on RUN because it revealed certain things that my sister and an acquaintance have complained about in the past which are the issues of an exorbitant shool fees and the secondary school treatment of young adults who are supposedly in a higher instituion of learning.

My sister often complains about how the Xtian Universities are so expensive that the poor/less privileged from this same churches that run them, can't even afford the school fees for their wards. I have often argued (without proof) that the church will definitely subsidize the rate for it's poor members (because I want to believe the church has enough initiative and knowledge of God's word to do that).

If all you've said is true I woudn't want my children to school in a surpressed and locked down environment with so many strigent rules, after going through that in secondary school.

LOL at topic. I think men loot more than women,because there's more pressure on the male folk in our society to build and own a house, drive a great car, etc etc.

Women are emotional creatures so somewhere at the back of their minds they get pricked by their conscience, get emotional (could be guilt, remorse, fear) about their wrong doing and may not go overboard. But men, its about egos left, right, centre and their greed knows no bounds.

Besides when you count the number of Patricia Etteh's (corrupt women)we have, there are more Dimeji Bankoles (corrupt men)out there. All those in favour say I

Figures' story is one of the many reasons I get put off, of marriage and I don't want to go there.
But I really am sorry for what you are going through. I hope you find a solution to your challenges.

I get sort of conflicted within me on this issue of divorce, because as a christian woman I've learnt from scripture that God hates divorce and His original plan when creating male and female didn't include divorce. As much as I would like to honour God in all that I do, I struggle with this (divorce),and am not even married yet.

I have personally identified 4 circumstances I will not live with in marraiage, and the D word may be an option.
1. Homosexuality: I don't see myself staying married to a man who fancies men.
2. A serial cheater who flaunts his affairs in my face and is un-repentant about his infidelity.
3. A lazy bum who continuously allows me to pick up the bills and fails in his responsibilities as a husband/father,with no justification.
4. Domestice violence/abuse.

God help me but I don't see the phrase "For better, For worse" applying in the scenarios above, for me that phrase means in wealth or poverty, in good or bad times, in sickness and health I will stick with you. In my dictionary that doesn't include 1 to 4 above, I often take my thoughts and feelings on this to Christ, I figure He will deal with me accordingly when the time is right. On the other hand there are so many miserable stories about marriages in this section and in my world I am not sure I want to even go there.