₦airaland Forum

lefulefu:
dingbang is this true? So a scammer can easily know ur bank account balance if he knows ur phone number?

no

All I can say is that the shop attendant is not smart.

Well, I didnt set much goals this year , unfortunately I lost a lot of cash, my next year goals would be met by the grace of God, amen.

8. Convenient neediness


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When things don't go your partner's way, are they sick or weak or in need of care and support? This is actually a form of manipulation, even if your partner is really sick. Some examples: Your partner doesn't want to have a serious conversation with you so they feel faint. Your partner doesn't want to go somewhere and suddenly you can't go either because they need you to help them through their anxiety (which is conveniently fine once you agree to stay home). Your partner can't help you with the housework because they have a headache or don't have the energy. Your partner doesn't want you to leave them because who will take care of them? Or maybe they fake illness so you'll feel sorry for them and give them extra attention.

What to do

This is not a healthy relationship, and it's one you probably want to think about leaving. But in the moment, you can make a plan for how you partner can be cared for while you go do what you need to do. Odds are, they'll be fine.

7. Gaslighting


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Gaslighting is the form of manipulation most likely to make you feel like you're losing your dang mind. Your partner does shady things on a consistent basis, like pretend they didn't say things, pretend you didn't say things, leave out information, twist the truth, re-invent the past, make you think your forgot things, and make you feel like you're losing it in general. When it's done enough, you'll feel like you can't trust your own brain, so you must need your partner to keep you in check.

What to do

Get away. Gaslighting is a serious form of abuse, plain and simple.

6. Playing the victim


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Let me paint a scenario for you. You and your partner get into a fight. no matter who was in the wrong, what was said, or what actually went down, your partner is just heartbroken and can't believe you'd hurt them like that. Even if your partner is actually the one who did something wrong, and no matter how you reacted. You're always apologizing Your partner is always hurt and helpless and in need of attention and extra love. It's a way to make you feel like you're a bad, unworthy partner and for them to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions.

What to do

Apologize for what you feel you need to apologize for. Don't give in to your partner's constant attempts to shame you into falling on your sword. Say things like, "I am really sorry I got upset and raised my voice. That was uncalled for. but I won't apologize for being upset about what you did. Here's how that made me feel."

5. Emotional blackmail


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Emotional blackmail is ugly and there are not many ways it can result in a healthy relationship. It looks like, "I'll kill myself if you leave." Or, it can also look like, "I would die without you." It can be dramatic or casual. It's basically a tactic that uses fear, guilt, and shame to keep you under your partner's control. And do you really want to be in a relationship where you're only there because someone threatened to kill themselves? No other person's life or total well-being are your sole responsibility unless they are your children (I particularly highlighted this)

What to do

Don't fall for it. It's almost always a manipulation and never a real threat of suicide or self harm. But just to be on the safe side, say, "If you're feeling suicidal, I'll call the police or an ambulance for help, but I'm not going to deal with it." It sounds harsh, but it's often the best (and only) thing you can do.

4. If you really loved me




This one's the worst. This manipulation basically asks you to prove your love over and over again by giving your partner what they want. "If you really loved me, you'd go to the store and get me some ice cream!" Or even, "If you really loved me, you'd change your mind about having a baby." This one uses guilt and emotion to try to prod or shame you into doing something. It's a form of manipulation no matter how innocent it sounds.

What to do

Shut it down. Say something like, "I can still love you with my whole heart without going to the store to get you ice cream." You can also ask for more direct communication. Like, "You know you can just ask me to go to the store. You don't have to stake my love for you on it.

3. Tugging on your heart strings


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Let's say your partner finds a kitten. The non-manipulative approach would be to ask you how you felt about getting a kitten, discussing if you could afford the vet care and food, finding out how your landlord feels about kittens, and determining if it was the best choice for both you and the kitten. The manipulative approach aims to tug on your heart strings and make you feel like a bad person if you say no. It goes something like, "Look at his little face! He's homeless! Do you want him to die cold and alone on the streets? Do you even have a heart?" There's a big difference.

What to do

Don't let someone make you feel like making the best choice for you makes you a bad person. In this situation, you don't have to take the kitten home to ensure it's survival. You can find it another home or take it to an adoption shelter. Most of these types of manipulations can be met with reasonable alternatives.

2. Home court advantage



Manipulations is all about control. One of the tactics used to gain control is to take a person out of their element. Think to yourself about where you live, where you hang out, whose friends you visit, and where you go on dates. Are they all your partner's favorite spots? Do you live in your partner's life but they don't live in yours? This could be a manipulation tactic designed to make your partner feel more in control. You're easier to control when you're not comfortable in your surroundings.

What to do

Equal home court advantage. 50-50. You both live in each other's lives. You both chose places to go on dates. You both only go places where you feel comfortable. It's part of being in a healthy, equal relationship.

1 . plain old bullying


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This is one of the less subtle (and easier to recognize) forms of manipulation. Say, for example, your partner asks you if you want to clean out their car. You don't. You want to say no but the look on their face and the tone in their voice says you better clean out their car or something bad is going to go down. So you say "I'd love to!" and then you do it. This is a person using the threat of violence to control you and get you to agree to do something you don't want to do. Later they may say things like, "You didn't have to do that. you could have said no." This makes them look like the good person, like it's your fault you didn't get your work done because you were too bust cleaning out their car. Sneaky and mean.

What to do: This is a tough answer because sometimes it's safer to just do what the manipulator wants at the time and then figure out how to escape later. Some abusers will use real violence to get what they want. But in some cases (non-abuse situations), you can begin to assert your "no" and mean it. If you cant say "no" in a relationship without fearing for your safety, you need to get out.

So i found a great piece of article online and i would love to share it with us nairalanders especialy those who are in one form of relationship or the other. Please take your time to read and understand so you never fall victim of such.


Have you ever had a partner who was so in your head that all of a sudden, you woke up and realized you were willingly doing things you'd never usually agree to? Odds are you fell prey to a master manipulator. Manipulation in a relationship is a serious problem because it's sneaky. Master manipulators can twist your words and actions so that it seems like every mistake you've ever made was your idea. It can make you feel crazy, like you're not in control of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. And it can go on forever before you realize it's happening.



Manipulation is a huge topic of interest. It's a common weapon used by abusers and controlling partners because it's hard to prove, it makes the abused feel like it's your own fault, and it's easy to get away with. Most people don't even realize they're being manipulated until it's too late. And then the trust issues mount.

While you might not catch it every time (some manipulators are just that good) there are some signs that your partner is in your head. If you spot them, it can help you train yourself to better recognize when you're being manipulated, and hopefully empower you to find a partner who doesn't need to use shady control tactics to feel secure in your relationship.



Culled from https://www.bustle.com/articles/162103-11-signs-youre-being-manipulated-in-a-relationship-how-to-fix-it


Cc: mynd44

Neo presol is fake walahi.

Frederick lugard is fucking dead... Jesus is Lord forever and ever.. Dont be stupid

The taste of the pudding is in the eating..

Not through pictures.. Olodos and it's everywhere.

Why buy a property for a woman who ain't your wife?

missdee384:
Hi,sent you a pm, please reply

replied

And tomorrow, another rape story will emerge, it just doesn't seem to stop and perpetrators of this act don't seem to heed to all these warnings

adeniyisamuel59:
please I need your help, my wife once used my phone for First mobile banking transactions when had not gotten her android phone and she later deleted it when she got android. Now, I just decided to open a new account with First Bank with intention of using her mobile banking on the same phone but each time I installed it, it will only ask for my wife password. All efforts to open my own mobile banking was denied. Please, how can I deactivate it and activate my own First mobile banking.

visit any of our branches with your wife so they can deactivate the device from accessing her firstmobile.

The level of hate and envy in this thread is toxic

Some girls are very bold o make I no talk anything sha. Same girl who tells you she dont do sex on the first date will be same girl who's gona seduce a guy she likes on the first date.

Having sex with condoms is just nonsense to me

Nigeria police force will soon mount road block and spoil that road with badluck

Sakaslim:
MAULAG

the only post that got my attention. You are a true savage.

I am angry

Housemaid Wanted For Theft; Carts Away With Employer's Items

The girl whose picture is being displayed is wanted by the Nigeria Police force, Ajah Lagos for carting away her employer's items. She hails from Ilesa and is a student of OSCOTECH ESA OKE, Osun State. Her employer was moved by compassion to assist her after her plea to work and earn money to prepare for school next year, she was also treated like an adopted daughter by her employer but decided to pay evil for good by carting away items after collecting her pay. As at the time of the report, the employer is still discovering lots of items missing in her home running into hundreds of thousands of naira.

If seen from the description on the picture above, please report to the nearest police station . Thanks.