₦airaland Forum

Just tell her the whole point of her working is to be useful and add benefit to the family. This is Uk not naija, she may as well sit at home and do all the chores. Do a list of all the expenses for the house and tell her which ones is she willing to pickup. Yes it is a man job to provide, but you are not bill gates and you will not come and die when she is also earning money. Also probe her to know what is she using all her money for if she cant support. My recommendation will be for you to split things 65: 35 or 70:30. Anything more than that will be disastrous. Women can be very funny and change so be careful. Most of them are just stingy, naturally not wired to provide and if they do not before long, you will see changes in her behavior, she will begin to resent you, see you as her equal or even inferior or not on her level. Once she start contributing, I will also recommend you buy her gift from time to time. Dont say because she has money and earns well, you will cease to buy things for her and assume she can use her money. It will back fire o. I learnt my lesson the hard way. No matter how much she earns buy things for her from time to time. God will take control my brother.

This is really sad. I understand what you must be going through, and I pray that God will make a way for you.

Something similar happened to me when I was in secondary school during my NECO exams. Some students always had access to the question papers before the exam. I was unfortunate enough to see the Chemistry objective questions ahead of time, and I wrote the answers lightly in pencil at the back of my exam slip. I used those answers during the Chemistry exam and later erased them carefully.

On the day of the English exam, the questions also leaked, but because I was confident in my English, I wasn’t interested. I studied hard and went into the exam hall prepared. However, since the exam was objective, many students who had seen the questions finished and submitted within 10 minutes—an exam meant to last over an hour. This raised the invigilators’ suspicion.

They began checking the exam slips of students who submitted early, and once they found answers written on some slips, they started checking everyone’s. I didn’t even realize what was happening until an invigilator came to my desk and demanded my exam slip. If I had known, I would have said I misplaced it. Even though I had erased the Chemistry answers, he noticed that something had been cleaned off. He seized my question paper and asked me to fill a malpractice form.

I had only spent about 17 minutes in an exam meant to last 1 hour and 15 minutes. I begged, but he refused. That was how I was escorted out of the hall with several others. It was English—a compulsory subject. The embarrassment was overwhelming, especially because I was a bright student, not dull at all. I became depressed and prayed earnestly to God.

I was still allowed to sit for the orals and theory papers, but I had already resigned myself to retaking NECO. However, God showed Himself faithful. I passed all my papers in WAEC with Bs and Cs. Coming from a unity school, out of about 350 students in my set, fewer than 30 of us passed all subjects, including English and Mathematics. That same year, I gained admission into the university.

I didn’t even need the NECO result again, but when it eventually came out, my papers were not seized, and I had a C6 in English. That experience taught me that the mistakes of yesterday can still catch up with you today. I remain deeply grateful to God.

I pray that God will see you through this situation and bring you out stronger.

When I say not supportive i meant supportive of my relocation journey. 4.5m for ticket alone to attend a wedding is not money well spent at my level. I only left naija is dec last year. It doesnt make sense spending 4.5m to attend a wedding. Even while in naija that is more than 2month of salary on ticket alone. Dont forget this 4.5m is flight ticket alone. I will use another 2m to buy items for my immediate and extended family (inlaws, sibling and their children) I will also do run around in naija. From my standpoint It is not worth the cost. Am not even interested in going to naija now only just relocated, make i settle in adjust.

immortalcrown:
You said your friends have supportive parents. Isn't your father supportive? The fact that he is not happy with your choice never means he doesn't wish you well.

You earned ₦2m monthly in Nigeria and later reft Nigeria for a better living but you can't afford ₦4.5m for flights to attend your brother's wedding. Hmmm!

You said that you want to celebrate your parents while they are alive. Does your father say you shouldn't celebrate him? Did you gift him something and he rejected it?

My dad provided everything we needed and sent us to decent schools.

I honestly feel very frustrated and just need to get this off my chest. I now understand what people mean when they say, “Don’t marry the wrong spouse.” Brethren, I think I may have gotten this one wrong.

My wife and I have been married for seven years. I was 28 when we got married, and she was 22. In the beginning, things were fine, but along the line, the marriage became increasingly challenging. From early on, intimacy was an issue. She often refused sex, saying she was tired. To reduce tension, I limited my request to once a week — usually Saturday mornings — even though I would have liked more.
She also didn’t cook regularly. I complained several times, especially since I covered about 95% of food and household expenses. Eventually, I got tired of complaining. When we moved to lagos from portharcourt, She once told me she didn’t feel loved and wanted me to do more house chores and take her out more. I tried to adjust — suggested she hired a maid, helped around the house, and made an effort to take her out when possible. Lagos life can be very busy, but I did what I could. Every year for the past four years, I made sure we lodged in a 4- or 5-star hotel for a few days as a couple. She went on vacation to dubai 2 years ago. But she often said I was doing it “for the family (children), not for her.” That she wants her own treatment.


At one point, after a serious conflict, I took her to her father’s house and told him that we didn’t love each other anymore. During the mediation, she played the victim at first, crying. But when her father tried to correct her, she suddenly became defensive and started yelling — even at him. Her father was shocked and had to calm the situation. He later told us something that stuck with me: “You two talk, but you don’t communicate.” Since then, I’ve tried to improve our communication, but it feels like my wife has given up on the marriage.

In the past year, things have gotten worse. Any small thing I say seems to anger her. She interprets normal conversations as arguments and shuts down. I have become conscious of it and tell her not to raise her voice and try to match her voice tone. She’s not open to resolving conflicts. I honestly believe she no longer loves me — she resents me. She gets angry easily, often over nothing. We barely talk deeply anymore. Most of our conversations are shallow. I try to initiate discussions, but she’s either uninterested, on her phone, or just cold.

She no longer sleeps in the same bed with me, claiming back and neck pain. I’ve offered to buy a new mattress or switch beds, but she’s not interested. As a result, our sex life has deteriorated — we’re down to about once in three weeks, and even that comes with tension. Even to approach her now comes with alot of hesitation and fear of rejection. Recently, when I tried to be intimate, she got angry, accused me of hurting her breast, even though she was the one preventing me, she then walked away. That led to another quarrel. It’s extremely frustrating to feel rejected repeatedly, especially after weeks of restraint.

Even minor things turn into big arguments. For example, I once told her not to pour water into the griller after cooking because it could cause rust. Her reaction was explosive — she shouted that she’d never wash the oven again and that I should do it myself, going forward. I felt asked was she was yelling. I tried to calmly explain, but she kept escalating, I must wash it, if she cooks the food, i must wash the burner. It dawned on me that she no longer sees or appreciates what I do in the house. Despite being the main provider, I still handle more than 50% of household chores — I wash dishes, vacuum, clean toilets, take the boys to school, iron everyone cloth etc. She mainly cooks, bathes the kids, and does laundry. I told her I do as much chores and she is in no position to dictate to me, no big deal in washing the burner but she needs to be polite. And she should not take me doing chores for granted, I am just supporting her. We both work from home so there is no stress of commuting to work etc

She acts like she’s disgusted by me. She avoids sitting near me, doesn’t want me to touch her, and even turns her face away when I try to kiss her. If she is sitting on a chair, if i come sit on that chair she will use style and go to the room. It is either my mouth smells or my tummy is big. I am relative fit, not a 6 packs man o. I go just swallow these things. Nothing wrong in feedback, but the way and manner she gives it is not fine. Never ever body shamed her. One day she told me, sabi I was almost calling of the marriage while we were engaged, why did I marry her? I was shocked. It was something I didnt remember doing. It just shocks me to know how unforgiving a woman can be, and what goes through their mind.

When I try to talk things through, she ignores me or gives cold replies. I’ve even sent messages on WhatsApp just to get through to her — she either ignores them or replies with things like, “You win.” We don’t walk together anymore — she either walks ahead or rushes off.

One day I even begged her to forgive and forget whatever I might have done, even if I didn’t know what it was. But things only seem to get worse. We relocated to the UK last year, and I thank God I have a good job that helps me support the home. Honestly, I feel that’s the only reason she’s still around. My spirit tells me that if I ever lose this job, I might lose my home too. Or she is just waiting for the kids to be of age.

I’ve tried to make things better — bought her gifts (including a Samsung S24 for her birthday), taken her and the kids to the cinema, arcade, amusement park, and more. She enjoys these things, but there’s no real change. Even told her to tell me what she wants. The only area I think I need to still work on is the pray more with the family. She says she wants me to pray more with her and the children. I admit it an area I need to work on.

No one is perfect, neither am I or expecting my wife to be. I know I’m a good husband and a great father, But it feels like she’s emotionally checked out. Divorce is never in my mind because I come from a Christian home, and I care deeply about my kids and even her. I still believe any marriage can work if both partners are willing to try. But right now, I’m just tired. It’s painful when you want to communicate, but the other person refuses. She’s grown cold, distant, and resentful. When she cooks, I can see the resentment in her eyes, she is not happy doing it. It is like she went into the marriage with certain expectation and it doesnt look like I am meeting them. I have tried to ask, what can i do, teach me to love you. Tell me what you wants, for where? she will just lock up.

She has good qualities — she’s spiritual, beautiful, ambitious, serious-minded, she takes good care of the kids, she has introduced my children to God and prays with them. But emotionally, it feels like she’s no longer in the marriage. I’m just frustrated and honestly don’t know what else to do. I’m not perfect, but I’ve been faithful, responsible, and patient.

At this point, I just needed to vent. Maybe someone out there has gone through something similar and found a way forward.

Good evening, my people.
I’ve truly never felt as frustrated as I have been in trying to get my driver’s license reissued. Since relocating overseas, I unfortunately lost my Nigerian driver’s license. Now, the authorities here require a physical copy of the license to recognize my Nigerian driving experience.

Can you believe I applied for a replacement on January 5th, 2025, and up till now, I still haven’t received it? Despite all my efforts, the process has been extremely discouraging. It's always one excuse or the other — either the printer isn't working, or the vendor is delaying the process. I've spoken to multiple FRSC officials in Abuja, but still, no date has been given for when the license will be ready.

I’m honestly at a loss. I’ve spent so much money, yet there's still no result. Has anyone else experienced something similar? If so, how did you eventually resolve it?
Please share — I really need help.

Most Ladies are naturally selfish and stingy, I have been married at for 7 years and can count the number of times my wife has supported me financially. My wife too can be stingy, I rarely ask sha, but i expect her to buy things in the house little things. I am still grateful sha, cos atleast she now cooks, gives me sex anytime i want it and looks after her kids. I also rarely ask her sha. My dad already sat me down when i was about getting married and told me this, The financial burden sits with the man. Yes a woman can support, but it is your job as a man. Although you guys are overseas and she will be earning decent. Stop putting eye on her money, from the way you spoke seems you are earning twice or more of what she earns, if that is the case then you should be able to carry all the house bills. And if you cant, tell her this is what you earn, you pay the rent, the utility bills, car insurance , feeding etc. and you need her help. If she is working and her income in not helping to move the family forward then she has no point working. Tell her she needs to carry the feeding and maybe utility bills going forward. The moment you begin to get concerned about how much your wife earns and want to deep your hand in her money, or you guys begin to share the bills, then know you will lose some respect in her sight be ready to split house chores 50 50.  A woman that truly loves you and wants your family to succeed will be willing to support her man financially. Or is she having projects or family members in need of money. Please your marriage will not fail. You also dont need to spend on her that much.

Liazz:
Am I being unreasonable being mad at my wife?
We relocated abroad 3 years ago but she isn't helping to settle any of the bills.

We both are gainfully employed though I earn much than she does. Our monthly expenditure is about £2000 and she doesn't care to help in any way. I foot all bills making me struggle to save while she keeps all she earns to herself. We also had a loan of over 10 thousand pounds to settle when we relocated, she didn't help with a dime till I paid all bits by bits which took me almost 2 years.

Despite this, I still help with house chores like taking care of our kids, home cleaning and even washing dishes though she does all the cooking.
I've expressed my displeasure several times but she keeps insisting I can't force her to financially assist, it's my job as I'm the husband. She seems convinced she isn't doing any wrong and no sign of remorse whatsoever.

I financed our relocation 100% without her contributing a dime.

This is causing a strain in the marriage and I am thinking if I am unreasonable in my demand, am I?
Your comments are highly welcome.

Good morning everyone to our broda in diaspora, i would like to know how much gtb charges for withdrawing dollars from atm overseas using the dollar master card. I have some dollars in my dorm account and considering withdrawing it, but i am scared of the charges. I was charged almost 40 dollars for transferring less than 800 dollars from one dorm account to another . Someone said they charge as high as 100 dollars. Is this true

The school actually called to tell me they will not be considering my son, as i did not provide baptism certificate while applying on the calgary catholic school board. She actually sounded very rude. The funny part was the catholic calgary board website said they considered non catholic, if school has sufficient room. Not sure how to proceed, either to go to the school physically or go back to the catholic calgary board and opt for a different school.

I recently relocated to Calgary and am searching for a good school for my children. Based on feedback, I’ve heard that public schools may not be the best fit for my family, so I decided to explore Catholic schools instead.

I applied through the Calgary Catholic School Board and selected a school within my district. However, I received a call from the principal informing me that my son would not be accepted because we are not Catholic. This was quite disappointing, especially since private school tuition is quite expensive.

It seems that Catholic schools require a baptism certificate for either my children or myself. Has anyone navigated a similar situation? What options are available for non-Catholic families seeking admission?

I currently attend a Pentecostal church but am considering joining the Catholic Church, though I understand the process takes time. I also learned that for a child’s baptism, the parents must have godparents and be baptized in the Catholic faith.

I’d appreciate any advice from those familiar with the system. Thank you!

Hello everyone,

I recently relocated to uk and am searching for a good school for my children. Based on feedback, I’ve heard that public schools may not be the best fit for my family, so I decided to explore Catholic schools instead.

I applied through the uk Catholic School Board and selected a school within my district. However, I received a call from the principal informing me that my son would not be accepted because we are not Catholic. This was quite disappointing, especially since private school tuition is quite expensive.

It seems that Catholic schools require a baptism certificate for either my children or myself. Has anyone navigated a similar situation? What options are available for non-Catholic families seeking admission?

I currently attend a Pentecostal church but am considering joining the Catholic Church, though I understand the process takes time. I also learned that for a child’s baptism, the parents must have godparents and be baptized in the Catholic faith.

I’d appreciate any advice from those familiar with the system. Thank you!

Just at a crossroad, I currently work for an FCMG in Nigeria currently go home with about 1.7m monthly as income after tax, also have some other benefits, I got my PR since 2022 and did my soft landing with my family and came back to Naija 2023. Since then I have been job hunting in UK, lately and got a contract job with an IT firm, the pay not so fantastic but it is more than enough to me the needs of myself and my family. The contract is for 7months as I am reliefing someone who is on a long leave. Wondering if I should just resign in my current job and move with my family to UK. The contract job I got is exactly what I do today in my naija job with the same grade, just contract.

What do you guys think, just so you know i current support the house 100%, I spend like 800k to run the house in this Tpain economy and usually endup saving 900k monthly. I have also been hearing alot of stories on the challenges in UK and how UK is beginning to change its immigration policy, I dont want to loose my PR.

confirmed speculator, if you like continue to hoard your dollar, you will so lose cash. why leave certainty for uncertianty.

No one know what the price of dollar will be in 5month time, what we know however is this crashing of dollar will continue for now.

The wise one will sell now when you are assured of some profit.

ThatCEO:
You cannot use the barrel of a gun to bring down dollars

I was going to the BDC in zone 4 Abuja yesterday, some EFCC/DSS goons blocked the road to zone 4 and asked me to make a U-turn

Anybody who has studied FX candlesticks for a minute will see that prices goes down for a while before continuing its upward journey.

Sanusi said d reason he was sacked was because he demanded that NNPC remit their dollars. You people's only source of FX is oil, yet NNPC go release one dollar

Now you have borrowed billions of dollars from ADB against future oil production

Binance r filing smart. If they wait for CBN to ban them, it means they now have to wait and lobby for CBN to unban them. But if they ban themselves, they wait a few weeks, naira crashes further n they simply unban themselves n continue trading That way, no illiterate can blame them.

All the BDCs r given $62M per month, is it for beans n dodo?
My aunt who has a drugs production company, by now, I know only her needs at least $1M monthly to buy raw materials

Boys have simply ported to other exchanges, d old men don't know how easy it is to move funds across crypto exchanges n continue life as if nothing ever happened. You only need just one working exchange, and I know at least one exchange that Nigeria can't mess with Una wan die...I won't mention Names.

Make una enjoy Jare, see you at ₦3000 naira to dollar

This is great news, all of you hoarding dollars, sell now or count your losess

Never seen such a very selfish country, people bet against their own currency, wishing things to continue going up.
You wont see the new trend that dollar is falling, na so so naira is falling news you go dey hear.

Good one CBN, not everyone must sell dollar, if you dont have be going home.

Move oversea, how?

IS that how money move oversee, Yes politicans will continue to steal am talking of the middle class and lower class, many have dollars in their bank account.

Diligence:
Let's reason/IMAGINE with this Isaac Fayose as follows:

1. Tinubu makes such announcement
2. There's panic withdrawal
3. More dollars would now be moved overseas
4. More physical dollars would now be further hoarded.
5. Where is the naira (scarcity) to change the dollars
6. Where are the dollars to meet massive panic withdrawal
7. Wetin be hyper/super-INFLATION again!

U know it's End-Time, when Isaac Fayose is advising Tinubu & CBN!

ZaddyJ:
Stop talking like an enemy of progress I am married to an American woman we both own a joint account of dom account so re you saying they should seize our hard earn money ?
We were in Kenya for the safari and NYE in dec/ jan everything they charge us after getting goods and services ( especially the art shop) we will be quoted in dollars by the local yet this does not stop their shillings from moving further and or higher than naira.
At the BDC a shilling is #4.5 meaning every 1000 kenya shillings gets you #4500 .
So why target people's hard earn income ?

Oga, open American bank account and put your dollars there, when you need it withdraw there. IF you are staying in naija and want to travel, apply for pta and bta. You cant be pilling dollars in your dorm account when people who truly need it cant get it. Money is meant to move in an economy. You guys are all betting against the Nigerian currency. Even US doesnt allow this kind of banking.

MrProlific95:
Is this guy coke addict?

He is speaking the truth, many nigerians now keep money in dorm account, which is also parrt of the problem we have today, let them close all dorm account. give people the naira equivalent

126 views, not one feedback, guys haba.

make una help a brother na

Guys good evening, I have a trip coming up next month, I currently bank with GTB but because of my experience with their poor service I opened an account with Providus bank in the month of June. I have been runinng the account with no issue. I am to travel out in dec and filled the form a form using providus bank as my bank. Now my account officer is telling me they will not be able to process my request because my account is not up to 6month. What should i do, Can i cancel my pta request with Providus and make a request via GTB.

Who can respond biko, i need advise

dipset01:
Guys good evening, I have a trip coming up next month, I currently bank with GTB but because of my experience with their poor service I opened an account with Providus bank in the month of June. I have been runinng the account with no issue. I am to travel out in dec and filled the form a form using providus bank as my bank. Now my account officer is telling me they will not be able to process my request because my account is not up to 6month. What should i do, Can i cancel my pta request with Providus and make a request via GTB.

Please house please advise

Guys good evening, I have a trip coming up next month, I currently bank with GTB but because of my experience with their poor service I opened an account with Providus bank in the month of June. I have been runinng the account with no issue. I am to travel out in dec and filled the form a form using providus bank as my bank. Now my account officer is telling me they will not be able to process my request because my account is not up to 6month. What should i do, Can i cancel my pta request with Providus and make a request via GTB.

Please house please advise

Honestly it is abit confusing, I am in a similar dilemma right now, have never been a fan of living abroad, I did my masters in the uk and even though then we had the opportunity for 2 years Post study visa, i just woke up one morning and said I was done in the UK, even when i had a good job and interviews for better ones lined up. I decided to leave because of the weather and the boring life. Japa for me is the last resort, when nothing else works I will enroll for Phd oversee and from there get a PR in either Australia or new Zealand. I came back to Nigeria in 2012 and started as a graduate trainee with a bank and as they say the rest is history. Transistoned for various job, then job were advertised and I got job based on merit. I never ever considered moving overseas until Buhari came with his terrible policies, Nigeria is a mess today and with the level of insecurity and inflation, I decided to start the canada japa parole around decemeber last year. Dollar is now 790 naira as at today.

God has been faithful, I am 35yrs and work in the IT discipline with FCMG as a manager, my take home is 1.3m net, when I add allowance (leave, 13th month, bonus) I earn 1.75m monthly. My wife also earns 600k monthly. We dont have any property of ours other than a piece of land which am yet to start any work on.

I decided to give this Canada express entry a shot in December 2022 because at that time work was abit stressful and alot of uncertainty existed last year. Even though i wasnt so into it, my wife also is indifferent about the whole thing. We said let even apply when we get it we will decide. Alas we now have the PR and we never sure. I am worried the stress of starting again, selling everything and relocating to a new country. We dont even know the city in Canada to move too. Thinking between Ontario and Calgary. I honestly have been praying, because decisions like this can make or break a person.

Not like i care, I am sure my father inlaw and parents will not like the idea of relocating. We have 2 boys, one is 4 plus the other 2 plus, am just worried about parenting abroad. I comfortably save 1.2m after monthly expenses, except for when i have to pay house rent and school fees. I know I will likely earn more abroad, but with all the expenses, I doubt i will be able to save that much.

Like someone mentioned earlier one can easily loose his job(God forbid) and that is the end. Or have a serious ailment. And that the end.

I have spoken to people in Canada who strongly encourage me to come that IT is hot cake here.

Still praying for direction. IT really good to pray and plan not just follow the crowd.

Hi guys, linkedin has disabled my account for no reason, I cant login or check for job., I cant even reach their support cause I am not able to login. I have called them on twitter yet no feedback, also uploaded my passport no feedback.

What can i do to recover my account

Nairalandous19:
After how many days after submission did you receive notification that your request is being processed at IRCC office? A friend that submitted yesterday already got this email.

Well I was not tracking that i get some updates weekly. but within a week you should get notification., you will be getting several.

But what am saying is from the time you submit your passport at Visa to the time you are told to come pick it up, it takes averagely 7 weeks

zubizareta:
If you submit yourself, you should get it back maximum 2 weeks.

not correct sir, it took me more than a month

Accessed:
Congratulations!

Please did you use courier services or you submitted and collected in person? Also how long did it take between submission and collection??

I submitted in person in the VFS Lagos office

It took us 7 weeks in total from day of submission

Pick it up yesterday, if you can use courier it is better because of the waiting crowd but if you are not in a rush submit in person.

And plan to get it back 7to 8 weeks

NorthernshoreTS:
I asked the same question some days back and I was told you can walk in between 10 am - 12 noon

yes o, I picked up my passport yesterday.

Glory be to God Almighty

Adedolapo2021:
For Lagos VFS, I think you can just walk in. But for Abuja VFS, I suggest you book an appointment, just to be on the safe side.

Thank you, I plan to work in

Good afternoon guys, I have received notification to come pickup my passport at the VFS office, do I need to book an appointment on the VFS website or just walk in?

Heineken007:
Please i was denied Uk visa in 2013 and 2014 which i included in my travel history. Do i need to scan and upload the stamped pages of those denials alongside my current passport?

No now, a simple explanation will suffice, just give little context to the reason for denial.

My wife was denial in November last year

Good afternoon guys, I have received notification to come pickup my passport at the VFS office, do I need to book an appointment on the VFS website or just walk in?

adebee16:
Please how did you know when it got there? The email notification from VFS that it’s been dispatched? Or you tracked it?

Both, the last notification I got via email was 30th May, also When i checked using the vfs tracker same status.

The status has not moved since 30th May

The last status I got was it has left the VFS office Ghana and now in transit to IRCC Ghana