₦airaland Forum

amazonguru001:
Naaa, learn to be you because las las you will find out most of these white skinned guys no even send you.

How did I know?
I am a regular visitor to Prodeco Restaurant.
If you know Prodeco very well. You will know expats eat there on a regular basis.

On my very first visit to the restaurant. While I was struggling to use the cutlery, I was amazed when I saw 2 white guys already using their bare hands to pieces the meal.
I was like what da heck is going on here.
No one told me before I followed suit.

One thing I have come to learn over time in life is that, you will have the greatest amount of peace if only you come to terms with being you. acting you, living you without thinking of what others think about you.

Selah.

Exactly my view

Didn't want to respond to others taking the man to task on his "table" manners.

Originality gives you maximum respect every time, everywhere even if folks won't show it-it speaks to"Dependability", a much needed trait in navigating lifes' afairs.

Diamond098454:
That's the type of men i like being closed to.they have respect for women and they are responsible men , well trained.

Easily manipulated you mean...?

Either ways, Women have been found to be attracted to "confident" men, not "effeminate" men as described in the post you replied to (and before you argue that it's possible to be confident and effeminate, I'd be quick to remind you that's an Oxymoron...never happens!)

I am positive you'd cheat on this "well-trained" effeminate chap the moment a confident man steps into the picture. Trust me, you would, despite your best intentions, and you'd just hate yourself for cheating on your "well-trained" and "responsible" man, but...

You Just Couldn't Help It.

The following article was.published in the Punch Newspaper. It was authored by Olagunju who is a Public Voices Fellow of The Op-ed Project/MacArthur Foundation on technology in the public interest.

Anyone interested in the discourse can read through. I believe he addressed key issues in the recruitment problemakin to what a certain OP was harping on on the topic.

Maybe the Mods can push to the Front Page. If this has been published here already, my apologies. Find the article below:

Talent scarcity: A rejoinder to Moniepoint CEO By Timi Olagunju

There is an illusion in Nigeria. I call it ‘ingrained classism’, and it may be costing us both in money and money’s worth. Some argue that it may be a product of colonial programming, which I hope this piece identifies and reprogrammes.

It manifests when a person climbs a little higher than yesterday, sits in a better office, earns a better income, and suddenly begins to make grandiose claims not grounded in reality, while wearing a semblance or shadow of it.

Before I get to the CEO of Moniepoint, Tosin Eniolorunda’s statement on the Platform, let me give you a recent example of classism. Recently, on a podcast, a lady was asked what the ideal Nigerian wedding should cost. She said N80m to N100m. Ideal? In a country where less than one per cent have a net worth of N100m. That is how classism works. It paints an ideal picture of something that is far from ideal.

The same spirit has crept into business, where people build for the one per cent but claim to be startups for every Nigerian. The same has crept into Nigeria’s real estate market, where properties are overvalued. Now, it is creeping into Nigerian entrepreneurship, and we need to be aware before it does more damage than intended.

Eniolorunda reportedly said that in 2024 the company decided to hire only from Nigeria, but by 2025 it ‘chopped the cane’. He said Moniepoint had 500 vacancies and was struggling to fill them, not merely in quantity, but in quality. He added that many applicants did not meet the global standard required to build world-class products, especially when Moniepoint competes beyond Nigeria.

Let me first commend what deserves commendation. The decision to hire locally is patriotic. It is better than the lazy elitism of assuming that everything good must be imported. A Nigerian company choosing Nigerians first is a serious statement.

But a good intention can still carry a wrong diagnosis.

Eniolorunda argues that Nigeria has a talent-quality problem. He is not entirely wrong. Our education system is broken. Many graduates are not workplace-ready. Too many applicants carry certificates without competence. Social media has elevated noise over discipline. The get-rich-quick culture has damaged patience. Brain drain has taken away some of our best hands.

But here is the counterargument: employers cannot speak as though they are innocent spectators in a labour market they helped create.

Who designed the job adverts asking entry-level candidates for three years of experience? Who refused to pay interns properly? Who treats young workers like disposable labour? Who converted ‘training’ into one motivational speech and two HR slides? Who wants global-standard workers but Nigerian-standard wages? Who complains about talent scarcity, but does little to build the talent pipeline?

The problem is not that Nigeria lacks talent. The problem is that Nigerian companies often lack talent development systems, and the Nigerian state lacks a talent development policy.

Many employers want finished products. They do not want raw material. They want senior talent, but not the burden of junior growth. They want competence, but not the cost of competence. They want a polished professional, but not the apprenticeship that produces one.

But that is not a strategy. That is extraction. Eniolorunda himself is proof that talent is built, not found fully formed, especially in a clime like ours. He worked at Interswitch before founding TeamApt, now Moniepoint. That experience mattered. It gave him industry exposure, problem context, confidence and networks. Interswitch was part of the ladder that produced Eniolorunda. So, why should Moniepoint not become part of the ladder that produces the next Eniolorunda?

My above argument is not sentimental or an emotional point. This is how global organisations work.

The co-founder and CEO of BlackRock, Larry Fink, admitted in his interview with David Rubenstein, in the book “How to Invest”, that he knew nothing about trading securities after graduating. He got in, got a chance and learned on the job, until he became a guru trader of mortgage-backed securities and later helped create the structured global bond market we now talk about. There, he learned, grew, made mistakes and developed the competence that later shaped one of the world’s most important investment firms. Same Larry became the co-founder and chairman of BlackRock, the world’s largest asset manager and major technology provider.

Our own, Adebayo Ogunlesi, is another example. Today, he is a global finance figure: founding partner and CEO of Global Infrastructure Partners, sold to BlackRock for over $12bn. He admitted in a class I had the privilege of attending at the Harvard Business School that after he finished at Harvard, he thought of going into law (even clerked), but someone convinced him to get into investing, so he did not end up ‘miserable’ like lawyers in New York law firms without work-life balance. He got the role based on talent, without any experience and learned in the role.

Even global organisations recruit for potential, train for mastery and then build institutions around the people they have developed. They do not merely stand at the gate and shout, “Where are the world-class people?”

To be clear, no serious person is asking Moniepoint to employ every Tom, Isaac and Abdullahi. No serious person is asking for lower standards. Building in Nigeria is hard. Energy cost is high. Internet infrastructure is uneven. Regulation can be unpredictable. Capital is expensive. Inflation damages planning. Founders are fighting battles that their foreign competitors do not even understand.

But hardship does not excuse a shallow talent philosophy and structure.

If Moniepoint wants world-class talent, let it build a world-class talent machine: a Moniepoint Academy for engineering, product, risk, compliance, data and operations; paid apprenticeships tied to real business problems; two-year graduate fellowships with clear assessment; mid-career conversion programmes for workers from banking, telecoms and consulting; and transparent promotion ladders showing how a beginner becomes a manager.

Salary transparency must also enter this discussion. If Nigerian (and African) companies want global-standard workers, they should publish salary ranges as their global counterparts do. Not “competitive”. Not “attractive”. Not “industry standard”. Those phrases could often mean come first, waste your time, and discover later that the numbers insult your competence.

The Ministry of Labour and Employment, under Muhammad Dingyadi, and the Senate and House Committees on Labour should consider requiring medium and large employers with a turnover of N1bn to publish salary ranges in job adverts. This will reduce wasted applications, improve trust, and force employers to confront whether they truly pay for the talent they claim to desire.

Again, let me reiterate that Nigeria does not lack talent. It lacks systems that discover talent early, train talent patiently, pay talent fairly and respect talent publicly. It is clear at this point that the future of Nigerian work will be built by employers who develop it."

So there fellas, you have it. A succinct rejoinder against a backdrop of extant realities if there ever was one. Of course,.arguments can. Eade for opposing view, but this, especially coming from.someone in the "game" speaks volumes.

https://punchng.com/talent-scarcity-a-rejoinder-to-moniepoint-ceo/

Gagare1:
Like I said, security reasons. Any Nigerian CEO earning that much, and knowing that much, is certainly a future competitor to the same business he is managing. The day he retires is the day your worst competitor is born. And the sick part about everything is that he knows you to the core. We have wealthy individuals looking for a trust worthy person to do business with, so if a Nigerian should have access to the vast knowledge, secrets connections, and be willing to pull the Nigerian strings to set up a competition, he will deal his former employer a fatal blow. So it is best to not take chances. Expensive as it may be, the expatriates are a lesser threat.

Not to mention the unofficial wickedness of black man to black man, which can bring down an organization faster than an explosive demolition.

So it is a security issue.

Another angle to the issue you mentioned here. Brilliant!

Hamachi:
A lot of what you’re saying comes from a hard truth people don’t like to sit with: talent is not proven by confidence, certificates, or potential. it’s proven by systems, scale, and repetition under pressure.

In Nigeria, we have no shortage of intelligent people. That part is not in doubt. The real gap is exposure to environments where talent is stretched by scale.

Take your marketing example. Managing $10k/month vs $1m/month is not a linear upgrade. It’s a completely different universe:
1. At $10k, you can rely on intuition, small experiments, and manual oversight
2. At $1m, you’re dealing with segmentation at scale, attribution models, fraud prevention, creative testing pipelines, regional variations, compliance, and coordination across teams and tools

Someone who has never had to lose $200k in a week and recover from it with data cannot be expected to naturally operate at that level. Not because they are unintelligent, but because they have never been forced into that environment.

That’s the structural issue.

India, parts of Asia, Europe, and the US didn’t just “have better talent.” They built ecosystems where:
- People get access to large budgets early in their careers
- Mistakes are expensive but part of the learning curve
- Companies operate at scale consistently, not occasionally
- Knowledge compounds because there are thousands of similar roles doing similar things

So when someone from those systems says, “I’ve seen this problem before,” it’s often because they’ve literally seen it 100 times in production environments.

In Nigeria, many “talented” professionals are still operating in sandbox conditions:
a. Low budgets
b. Small teams
c. Fragmented markets
d. Limited global exposure

So what gets called “talent gap” is often really a scale gap.

Even our refinery point makes that clear. You don’t build a complex industrial system and then look for talent inside an economy that hasn’t operated one for decades and expect instant readiness. Skills in those environments are not theoretical, they are forged through years of operating, failing, and iterating inside similar systems.

And that’s why outsourcing or hiring foreign expertise often happens. Not because locals lack intelligence, but because:

1. The foreign talent has already been “burned in” at scale

2. They’ve made expensive mistakes on someone else’s system

3. They’ve operated machinery, budgets, and teams that look like the target system

The uncomfortable true is this: You don’t develop “international-level talent” by debating it or defending it online. You develop it by building systems locally that are expensive, demanding, and unforgiving enough to create it.

Until that happens consistently, comparisons will always feel unfair — because they are comparing trained production experience vs emerging potential ecosystems.

And in global business, potential is respected… but performance at scale is what gets hired.

Spot on!

Prestar:

Small Doctor has promised to give Carter Efe 5 million naira if he wins Portable tonight.

And Victor Boniface promised him trip to Germany also

Carter Efe must win o pic.twitter.com/u4v1nlYIgM

— Star Potter (@Starpotternews) May 1, 2026

https://x.com/i/status/2050369788354957441

5Mn from Small Doctor?

Guess he's really doing good in in his alternative income source considering he's not as hot as he used to be.

dominique:
It's really does look like they're working for Tinubu with all these clownery they're performing. How hard is it to choose a consensus candidate to bear the flag of the party? Everybody wants to be president but sadly they can not pull the numbers to win individually.

Their greed and ego is so nauseating! So much for "selflessness"!

There's this chap that usually does a very well researched analysis (even though a lot of folks hate him for it...lol- talk about the proverbial truth teller who gets chased out of the village) of the Nigeria power sector (where we are, where we should be, cost,.implications etc.). Can someone please help tag him to this post?

I'd love to read his views about this development and how it'd affect our current power crisis.

SixSeven:
It's amazing how a language scares us as a people but we can speak Hebrew, Latin, French and any language but ours. What a people.

Please don't justify this. It's all shades of wrong, contextually wrong!

Form someone vying for public office in a secular state, you don't do things like this. Nevermind his intentions, he risks just stirring up unnecessary drama in an environment highly sensitive to religious questions what with all the terrorism, bandits and stuff. Of course, you can see the "uproar" already.

C'mon he should have known better!

He's lost already. With just this singular unthoughtful act, he's put paid to his campaign.

SmartPolician:
You people don't understand what's happening and haven't made efforts to find out. I've listened to South Africans argue that their companies are resorting to cheap labour from black foreigners as against their nationals.

He gave an example of how they go on strike to demand pay rise only for their companies to fire them and hire foreigners who are ready to settle for peanuts. Their anger, in my honest opinion, is valid!

And you think brutally attacking others is the solution? So you would do this to innocent foreigners if you feel your "entitlement" is threatened?

Violence NEVER solved a problem. Research it.

adenigga:
Source: https://punchng.com/us-congress-probes-trumps-2025-airstrikes-in-nigeria

Jeez! Talk about accountability, due process and the rule of law holding sway irrespective of status.

Humans seem to be birthed with a subconscious concept of what is right or wrong even before society shapes it through laws and precepts. That, in my opinion steers the action of humans relative to the concept of morality before any external stimuli (such as adherence to the dictates of a religion) comes to play

From birth, without anyone telling you, without being subservient to any laws, you instinctively know somethings aren't right (like murder for example); it just doesn't "feel" right hence you desist.

Let's not also forget that the concept of morality is relative. What is forbidden in one society is accepted in another. The old testament pronounced death to witches, sexual deviants etc. while the new testament abhors it. Time, evolution, new thoughts and philosophies play a part in defining so-called morality of people. If what was once forbidden is now accepted or vice versa does it make the act intrinsically wrong or right ab initio?

Addressing morality from a religious point of view leads to a rabbit hole I wouldn't want to explore (so many angles to the subject matter.

Hemanwel:
OP, from my own experience: I have realized that most girls who are into online dating or interested in blind dates are not so beautiful girls. They are girls with one or two commas on their physical look hence, their self-esteem has diminished in real life. The reason they resort to online dating.

The very beautiful girls don't have time for online dating. These ones get attentions from men the moment they step out of their houses. They have not finished dealing with men they come across on the streets on daily basis, how much less having time for online dating.

That's just my personal observation and experience

Thank you!

This is just what what I was alluding to in my retort to the chap who was lauding a guy for having slept.with a lot of these online ladies (made him know his colleague must have had a lighter bank account at the end of the ordeal save they were just "regular" girls like you referenced in paragraph 1 of your post-easily taken in by a 2007 Toyota Camry or C-Class).
Another chap refuted my opinion that as long as you have the "basics", you are good to go (told me to "jettison this mentality".

Like you correctly observed, the ladies you just described in this post of yours don't work with the "basics", even though some are members of dating apps (they aren't some hungry, gleefuly jump-in-the-front-passenger-seat to ride shot gun in a 2008 C-Class; hell, she's got her own ride- whether bought by her or a "sponsor" is beyond the scope of this course). You've got to come with a whole lot more, your games gotta be tight, financially and otherwise to swing with these class of ladies. And before someone else says I'm in 'awe" of these ladies bla bla bla, it'd do good to understand the fundamental rule of any game or duel in life; Always Respect Your Opponent if you plan to stay on top of the game and knowing that all women are NOT created equal (going to catch a lot of flak for this from the ill informed) thus acting accordingly if you must remain, not just win in the game is recognising that fundamental rule.

gentlegiant95:
if your basics are sorted you don't need a lot of money to sleep with naija girls. Jettison this your mentality

It's not a "mentality". It's an opinion (so difficult having a conversation on this forum without bitterness and subtle insults and snide remarks creeping in).

The so-called Naija girls you think are easy to sleep with with just the "basics" (you did not clarify what the basics constitute) more often that not aren't the comely ones and yeah, you're right, most guys can sleep with them by having just the basics (they've stated their worth). The ladies I refer to in my.post aren't these crop of a dime a dozen girls

Meet a Naija girl who knows her worth and you'd be wasting your time with just the "basics". They've seen it all and more.

Nuff said.

Shedrack777:
I see online dating as coded hookup. You hardly get serious relationships there.
The guys are looking for who to knack, while the ladies are looking for who to empty his pocket

Your assertion is mostly correct.

The so called "decent"ladies complain of the guys needing just sex and pretending not to be married in their Bios; warning them to steer clear off them.

This same ladies in their own Bios (working class or not) despite claiming to not be involved in hook-ups and who are searching for real love and "communication" (that's their favourite requirement), will say this on their idea of "Ideal First Date": " A lovely conversation with soft music in the background with great wine and cuisine (read: expensive exotic meal) with a soothing ambience". This ls just an example, some are way more detailed than this.

Question you want to ask them is this: Do you know how much such a date cost in Lagos? especially on Lagos Island that has the spots with the "soothing ambience and soft music in the background"? A date for two with these requirements can gulp as much as N350k,, and there are spots that it can go far higher than this. This is not hearsay, it's a lived experience.

Pray tell, how can she sincerely attract a single decent chap? Most men that fall into this bracket cannot afford such a lifestyle (he's probably in his late 20s to mid thirties and still climbing the corporate ladder [earns circa 350-500k monthly] if employed and possibly just beginning to see some good money if a businessman. By belching this ideal first date stuff in her bios, the chap is already turned off save he's the type that just there to "knack"-plans to just do all it takes to get in there and get out.

End of story? She says men are scum because he left, not knowing he NEVER planned to stay: she was just too "sexy" for him to ignore, so, he decided to take the loan from loan apps, dip a little into his savings, spend the money on the dates (possibly two), told her all the sweet nothings she wanted to hear while looking deep into her eyes (nothing makes the average Nigerian lady or any lady for that matter fall so deeply in love than a smooth, rich talker), hit that and japaed! Why did she fall you say? Recall he's employed and possibly lives alone even if it's a minflat (and you know our ladies LOOOVEEEEE guys who live alone in a tastefully furnished apartment, no matter how minimal). So, she believed he's the real deal.

Summarily (I really hate typing or I can share so much more insight on the topic), until ladies stop placing money as the primary sine qua non for true relationships, they'll keep meeting the wrong guys and keep being side chicks and hookup materials (majority don't even care anyway....all dis one wen I dey yarn na just Panadol for another man headache tins). Until ladies re-orientate themselves, respect themselves more and.place less importance on money as the basis for a true relationship, the average man will see her as a sex tool and treat her as such. So the 'knacking" continues....

tuzle:
I agree with ur analysis, there is one like that my in law was on (we were roommates for a year because I was working around that lekki side and needed somewhere to stay). That dude slept with a lot of ladies from that app (can't remember the name but it is becoming popular too). He slept with single mother, the one with bf and many more and after he is done he blocks them. Sometimes I wonder how people find wife online.

Be rest assured he spent some good money to accomplish this. If he tells you otherwise (claiming all that alpha shit), he's lying between his teeth!

Babatunjo:
There’s a group we no dey really talk about… involuntary single ladies.

Not the unserious type. These ones are fine, educated, stable. You see them everywhere, hospitals, offices, events. Doctors, nurses, professionals. Complete package.

But relationship just no dey stick.

Many of them are actually ready. They’ve tried, dated intentionally, even adjusted expectations small. Yet na same story. They keep meeting guys wey no serious. Promise today, disappear tomorrow. Waste months, sometimes years. Some don’t even know what they want.

At some point, some just settle. Some give up. Some still dey hopeful but tired.

Truth be say, dating market don change. Plenty options, less clarity, less commitment.

My view about why they're still a lot of "eligible" involuntary single ladies differ slightly from the reasons you gave.

Why?

1. Most eligible single ladies (beautiful, composed, financially stable and over 34) are EXTREMELY picky when it comes to men they date talk less of settling down with.
They NEVER date down. Head of Human Resources (35 years), Senior Product Manager (36 years), Senior Sales Associate (34 years), Regional Manager (39 years), Executive Director (40 years), MD (40 years), Boutique Owner (37 years), Spa Owner (38 years) etc.will NEVER settle for a man less than their ego. Now the problem that arises is this: most men that meet their requirements are NOT readily available. He's either married, toxic, a hopeless womaniser, abusive, non-commital, fat, short, not handsome or gay (yes, that one dey too!). The married men account for the largest quadrant of the aforementioned.
So you see these pretty ladies asking for love, commitment etc on their bios in dating apps and you wonder why a woman so beautiful is still single. You have the answer now.

2. Unlike what you opined in your post, a lot of these eligible ladies have NOT adjusted their male "entry" requirements. Nope! They maintain their stance in the kind of man they want age notwithstanding. Religion hasn't helped either as the pulpit makes them believe that with faith what happened to just one lady who got married to the man of her dreams via prayers (amongst a population of 20,000 other ladies; do the correlation math) can happen to them. So, they pray on and on and time goes by.

3. Unlike the pervasive view that the older a woman gets the more desperate for a man she becomes thus lowering her standards, the true reality is far from so. This may work for broke, plain Janes. For eligible ladies who know their worth, the older they get the more set in their ways and believe they become; they hardly compromise in their idea of the dream man. In fact, the entry bar gets even higher for men she wants to date and possibly settle down with (ever wondered why you hear more of celibacy as a relationship requirement amongst older ladies- circa late 30s to early 40s than the younger ones?)

I could go and on with other points but the post is getting lengthy. Summarily, "eligible" ladies are still single not for lack of good men out there but for the simple fact that their choice of men are relatively no longer romantically available.

By the time you remove the eligible married men, fat men, short men, Muslim/Christian men (depending on her religion), financially unstable.men (given current standards you should be worth at least 1.5-2Mn net monthly to qualify for these eligible ladies), abusive men, genotype incompatibility, womaniser na wetin remain again? The men don nearly finish na! So you see them struggling for the extremely small percentage of 'eligible' bachelors (handsome, tall, athletic build, financially stable, genotype compatible, smells good, SINGLE, God-fearing, faithful, loves his parents and family hence family oriented, not gay, respectful, commanding presence and ambitious) thus making these guys the prize rather than them.

Note: The points apply to ELIGIBLE (Beautiful, matured, financially stable and organised) spinsters ONLY. A lot of other "ladies" do display the coping mechanism OP stated.

You know a lot of these buses have designated spots (usually along the highway, away from towns) where they all converge in a 6-8 hour journey for passengers to disembark to eat, stretch their legs etc. You'd see a lot of different carriers and their passengers there. This usually lasts for about 20-30 minutes with more buses arriving as other are leaving.

It is just a matter of time before these kidnappers strom these rest points and kidnapp passengers wholesale. For safety, transport companies should consider desisting from these stops along the highway.

engagingworld:
Shut your mouth. Those are the basics required for survival. Do you even know what "all is well" means"?

You obviously don't even know where I'm coming from...you don't grasp the import of my feedback to the quote posted. And sarcasm seems not to sit well with you or could it be you don't recognise one when you read or hear it?

All that vitriol in your comeback does nothing to hide the truth of my words...a man describes himself a "corpse", paints a picture of utter financial hopelessness (not mental or health as these individuals can come online and lament ...ask for help albeit not the best way) and has done this in other threads (claimed he has a job in some other thread and thereafter launched into his "self-pity" discourse) yet has the "means" to afford net-time (sic), a cell phone (never mind how "basic" according to you) and even time.and energy to be on NL to.read and comment on topics.

Let me paint a picture of someone who's truly a corpse and financially bankrupt as insinuated by the OP:

1.His thought EVERY morning is where to get the next meal as he's totally broke.
2. He lives day to day. Knowing that if he doesn't go to that building site to use pans to carry sand atop his head he'll starve for that day
3. He has no job whatsoever.
4.He has no cell-phone (uses a torchlight phone if any)
5.What's his business with NL? A man thinking of the next meal? Wetin concern am with wetin dem dey talk for NL?
6.Even as I type this, this morning, his stomach growls and he's doubled down in pains from.pangs of hunger, so, he has to get up and get something...any thing. God help him if he has a family!
7.Lest I forget, he has no "house" to return to save you want to call the kpako built on stilts about some waterside a "home"
8.Electricity? that's a luxury. He's used to living without it.
9.He lives on Bets (his lack of formal education (if not educated) does not prevent him from understanding the intricacies of.placing a bet). NECESSITY made him understand terms like Odds (wanna play with hunger?)
10. His wardrobe consist of what you'd term rags (a collection of threadbare fabrics worn with use and repeated laundry in the attempt to look neat and possibly civilised) but to him these are great clothing.

I could go and on to describe what a "corpse" as intended by the OP means but I'd stop here. So, before you just get and and decide to be the knight in shining armour, here to save the "poor" OP from "oppressors" like me, take time to read and UNDERSTAND where the other chap is coming from. You guys use emotion a lot in your discourses. Be objective in your take on issues and please anstain from insults.

The chap I quoted might just be better of coming out the closet and plain beg for money on the forum instead of masquerading this intent with words to elicit emotions (obviously, it worked on you) and whatnot. If he's financially hopeless as he claims in his comments, then he might as well forget about "pride" and do the needful.

Enjoy the weekend.

fyneboi79:
Who send you? Go and die na who cares?

Better wake up and face your struggle...coward!!

Imagine the individual!!!!

Does he know what other are passing through...always lamenting and stuff..such psychological blackmail.

DeclanR:
See, Nairalanders, I'm tired of my life. This is no joke. I'm tired .

If I type quarter of what Is happening to me on this platform, the mods will eject me. I'm just a walking corpse.

Much worse is, none is going to give listening ears .

Can I just sleep and exit quietly?

The fact that you have the means to still access the internet and have the "energy" to comment on this thread speaks to the fact that all is well with you.

Walk the streets of Lagos (not even ghettos) so you realise that you are actually living "large".

You're a corpse and still have the ability to be on the internet...please!!!!

cr7lomo:
Nothing will happen to him...he just contributed in fulfilling her own karma ...only she knows what she did to other guys and she's paying for it

Don't be the one Karma uses to balance the universe, because, like I said before, it's amoral. It's coming for you too!

You want to be the left hand of God? There's a steep price to pay for that.

Ever heard the aphorism "two wrongs don't make a right?

tiswell:
Your defence punch lines are weak,try harder.

There is no good single mom (widows excluded)

C'mon, don't make such sweeping statements.
There are "responsible" single mothers outside of widows (and this ain't no oxymoron), just that they make the minority-the exception to the rule.

They've gone past the bitterness phase and evolved into a matured and holistic outlook on relationships between the sexes and how it affects the child.

Eddodoh:
I reject it IJN!!!
Even God will understand .

She rejected me earlier, went ahead to date other men including a married army guy who made her a single mom & japa. So, I should be the one to come and marry her abi? What if the army guy still wants to dock her? Abeg, free me jor!

Then why didn't you let her be?
So you went on a "revenge" mission right? To make her pay for all the times she snubbed you and hobnobbed with the high & mighty?

You see, Cosmic Laws are amoral. They just are. It's not going to take into consideration your (selfish) reasons for doing what you did.

Remember this: He that embarks on a mission of vengeance should dig two graves.

zenburster:
Even single mum's will not allow their sons to marry single mum's.

Eyin Oko Single mothers, ENKR

Quite 🤔

marlow1962:
Even if her baby daddy is deceased, you will still not be the first choice.

This is a 🗝️ fact!

More often that not, you'll always be:

1. Second place (her child is and will always remain first)
2. Third place (her child is 1, her Baby Daddy 2).

Now, with respect to (2) above, she may not agree to this, but, subliminally it is the fact especially if the baby father is actively involved in the kid's life. She spends a lot of time interacting with him as a co-parent and this is where, sometimes, things usually go south (especially if the separation was not on abusive or irredeemable grounds).

Folks, let's give these (single) ladies a break OK. A lot are dealing with A LOT!!! (raising a child by her lonesome is enough wahala already what with all the negative influences around). They need our understanding (the reasonable ones o....), support and where and when appropriate care.

Eddodoh:
They are usually like that. They believe that the best way to tame a man is to spread their legs. So u will enjoy excess seggz when u date them and they are usually sweet.
They rush things and want to manipulate u into marrying them.

I have one currently. She's not bad. I toasted her some years ago she refused, last Xmas I shoot my shot again and it clicked. She told me about her baby & the baby daddy who is an Army. Though I didn't know that she's a single mom initially. She told me how she has being the one taking care of the kid bcuz the guy is married to another woman.

She was happy having me around her and always talk about marriage. She requested that I support her to learn Make-up Artistry so she can also support me when we eventually marry. I collect enough opueh and japa!!

There is something termed "Universal/Cosmic Laws" and you my friend, habe just broken an important one.

The fact that you said this "She's not bad" is your conscience pricking you. You did her wrong. You knew instinctively that you may have met the "single" mother who got away; the one different from the cast, the mould.

But,

You'd to be "the man". You, what did you call it again? "Opueh and Japa" and you said all these with an ❗ You are so proud of yourself! You taught her a lesson! Put her in her place!

You know what, your narrative indicts you so bad thus "...She was happy having me around her...She requested that I support her to learn Make-up Artistry so she can also support me when we eventually marry..." Pray tell, how many of your so-called single ladies can be this intentional with respect to starting a family.

It's obvious she learnt her mistake and turned a new leaf (well, she wasn't a bad one probably anyway. Her sin was loving a shithead who knocked her up and fled like the coward he was into the arms of another woman who doesn't even probably know he has a child lurking in the background. I can bet he's a coward or traitor in the Nigerian army also-passing info to the enemy or always pulling sick when it's time to hit the frontline).

You did her wrong my friend, so wrong.

Please know this, women a lot of the time being emotional and focused on ephemeral things often cause themselves much harm, but let's remember that they are our sisters, aunts, moms and most importantly human like us. They can and do make mistakes like YOU.

While correcting them (where and when appropriate) let's do it with love and respect. Those that listen will find redemption, those that do not condems themselves to their fate.

Please apologise to her today so the universe does not come for you (I hope it's not too late as Karma can really be a bitch).

GRACEGLORY:
First of all, men aren't 'afraid' of successful women. And high time we understood what real success is.

Men are allergic to the 'I make my own money so I don't need to respect you' energy, the weaponized independence that excuses zero accountability or basic femininity.

How can men be afraid of successful women, Men were raised and grew up around queens who built empires and still knew how to build a home. Men celebrate capable women. What they dodge is the arrogant ones who think a fat bank account buys them a free pass to act like men with worse attitudes.

Same reason high-value women ghost insecure broke boys who can't handle her shine. It's not success scaring anybody, it's garbage character hiding behind a fat bank account..

Secure men want partners, not competitors with chips on their shoulders. If that's 'intimidating,' stay single and keep telling yourself it's the men’s fear. The mirror doesn't lie."

"Men don't fear successful women.
They fear the bitter, contemptuous divas who think success = license to treat men like doormats.
You weaponize wins and wonder why winners keep walking.
It's not intimidation,it's standards.
weaponize wins, demand worship, then wonder why real men vanish.
It's not intimidation, it's nausea.
The mirror's brutal."

No man wants character defects packaged in designers.


These are successful women below

Hear ye! Hear ye!!

Host78:
A whole lot of rűbbïsh you wrote there.

First off, successful women are single because they are successful.

They are single because like every woman out there, they want to "date up".

Let's imagine this, when a man is successful, he doesn't look for a girl that is "on his level" or "higher" than him to start a relationship with her.

He can go to a filling station and see a girl there and start dating her.

Ronaldo was very successful and would have gotten to date any high value actress or model from anywhere in the world.

But he at the same time is flexible enough to go to a clothing store and pick one of the sales girl there and date her.

Women lack this flexibility. No matter how successful a woman is, she still wants to date a man who is "more successful" than her.

She'll never go to the gutter to pick any kind of man, even the one that will worship the ground she walks on.

Now this severely limits her options. For a woman who has N10million in her account, she's looking for a man with almost N50-100million in liquid cash.

She's looking up and there are only such a few of such men in the dating pool. It's like saying I as a guy will only date a girl who is earning N5m per month.

There are only such few girls in this country. If I put that as my mindset, anyone wise person will know that I'm ready to be single for a long time or for life.

Now, to the second part of this equation, and this is the usual problem with these women which they don't admit to themselves: the very "more successful" men that they want don't usually want them. .

There are many successful actresses in Nigeria, but do you think someone as successful as Davido wants to date them for their success?

If I'm a man and I'm earning N10m a month on this country, why should I care what my woman is earning when I want to pick a wife?

I can comfortably take care of any woman I want. Emphasise here is on "the woman I want".

No man in history has ever listed "success" or a specific naira figure when they are looking for a wife.

To most men, all you hear is "she must be beautiful, respectful, love me, submissive, does not cheat and speak softly"

And if any man ever mentions that his wife must be hardworking, it is usually in the area of keeping his house clean.

The reason why success is never a criteria for men looking for wives is very simple: a successful woman always wants a more successful man who will still pay for everything

Take for instance, regardless of how successful these actresses are, Davido understands that "spending" in the relationship will still fall on him because he's higher than them.

So, here's a dilemma, these women are hugely successful, they have bigger appetites, they want him to impress them. What exactly does he gain in return from dating such "successful" women?

Absolutely nothing.

The success of a woman does not benefit the more successful man she wants in any meaningful way.

So why should he date her when he could find someone prettier, someone who will be more grateful for his love?

The only way a successful woman can ascertain if men are intimidated by her is her going into the village and pickin a lowlife man or an Okada man or a cab man or a salesman and changing his life.

Let her pick such a man up, brush him up and give him the world and treat him like a king just as Ronaldo or Davido is treating their "poor" spouses like they are queens.

But then this almost will never happen.

Look at someone like DJ cuppy, everyday there are men in her comment section who will marry her and treat her like a queen.

Look at tiwa savage there are men who will willingly be her 'house' husband.

But regardless of success and the money these women have, they still want a bigger fish.

Cuppy always following Anthony Joshua up and down.

Now is Anthony Joshua intimidated by DJ cuppy? Of course not.

He's just not interested because she has nothing to offer him. Not virginity, not youth, nothing.

So, single successful women are not single because men are intimidated by them. They are single because of 4 simple things:

1. They lack flexibility in that they don't want to date downward

2. The men that are higher than them, don't desire them

3. They don't really know what men want because they chase success and once they get success, they think they have higher marketplace values.

4. And so they raise their standards, meanwhile men who meet such standards, don't want them back.

And so, they are at the top, with high standards and no one to chase after them instead of them doing the chasing.

When they are supposed to chase after Okada men, pick such Okada men and turn them to "house" husbands that they can provide for, just as Ronaldo picked a salesgirl and turn her into a wife.

These successful women are still looking to be chased by men who are richer. It's a joke.

This is a seminal piece.
Real critical thinking at play here.
Bravo!

pdppower:
Baba should not act saint now because he started the whole corruption thing

Don't be so predictable.
We are not talking about the "past".
Yes, he may have been a part of the issue, but does that detract from the truth of his statements?
Must we keep dwelling on the past?
Look to the future, therein lies salvation!

This habit of ALWAYS trying to render truth false by throwing shades at the proponents of such truths (rightly or wrongly) without considering the message is alarming and speaks to a mind that is absorbed in self deceit and slavish adoration of (wilful) ignorance.

WAKE UP!!!

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