So I met this beautiful young, intelligent smart and extremely hardworking and extremely independent Godly lady.

I chased her actively for 9 months, she was alot to crack. One of those ladies that knows what they want and will test your patience in every way, i mean she's 27 and I am 34...

Anyway we started dating and God in one week or so we had our first real argument...since then its been from one issue to the other. As a man I could tell she wants the relationship as much as I want, I mean from all the descriptions I gave about her, you can imagine the kind of man I am too to able to attract and retain that kind of a woman. So we both know our worth but I sense ego clashing, I have had to pray to God about the confirmations I received in the months I was waiting on her..like this is my future here so apart from feelings, I took it spiritual...


I had prayed, involved my spiritual father too, it seems we both aren't just listening...she's the overly thinking type , I am the on the spot, she's very independent, extremely sometimes, I am the one who loves to relate my feelings with those close to me..so it's difficult with her, I am the overly expressive type, she's the quiet and mute type..she's doing better now sha, but I cam literally count how many times she's professed love to me...all these looks like incompatibility issues...but am being careful to throw in the towel


We have been dating for six months now after the 9months chase, but lately I get a cold feet , reaching out to her, that initial spark is no mote there as it used to, the excitements I had reaching out to her those days I were chasing her is no more and I am wandering why..I had to ask her few days ago and she was like I complain alot that's why...

Maybe true, cos i am a perfectionist, but to be honest not all my complains are invalid, and she rarely makes me have to repeat myself...

Above all, her passion for success is off the roof, she just finished ICAN, and omo CFA straight, while I love that part of her and I had said to her I will support her all the way in accomplishing her goals, seems like her crave for a good life due to her background has this hold of a "over the roof "desire for success , wealth and all that puts that need almost above anything and anyone else..I have seen these play out on many occasions

As a stunch lover of God that I am, I am also doing well, with a decent job in this economy and all and I also subscribe to self development but never will any of those things compete with God and my personal time with the things and people I love.

So lately I have been at a crossroad and I am telling God to instruct me on which way to God , to proceed or jet out though i love her...

I don't want to be caught up with a very ambitious woman that will have no regard for me in the future or a successful woman who cant decipher
the place of God, her husband and every other thing else..



To the single Christian brothers, if you were in my shoes, what would you do..
Well I am praying for clarity to God on the way to go, still did this morning, but scriptures say there is safety in the midst of counsel..So gyz..let me share in your opinions

PNomsule:
I respect people who have transformed lives in no small measure especially Daddy EA, but then again, I couldn't make a respectable sense out of what Daddy said here. He for kuku bridle him tongue...

First of all, this will be my first response on this forum in years. and if not for your initial admittance of respect for this Man of God who many consider as the "Elijah of our time" I wouldn't have even bothered.

Consequently by that admittance I assume you are sheep in the fold, so am not speaking to a stranger, thou an ignorant one, not being able to discern the times we in, respectfully speaking.

Let me share you some facts. Just as in bible times and as common as with God in every dispensation and with his dealings with a chosen nation, or people, he always will select choice vessels to act and legislate his counsels ,such as the case of Elijah I mentioned, Daniel in Babylon, Moses was even a God to pharaoh, but one thing is clear, there were several prophets, Men of God in the bible times of these people I just mentioned but from the dealings and the results that followed , we could tell they were the mouth piece of God for that age, time , season and dispensation. Remember the case of the false prophet? Who claimed to also have heard from God and lead the young prophet astray to his death? They were many those days as they are today and they all claim to hear from God, but how do we know the Genuine mouth piece of God amongst the many, His dealings, His ways, the results and consistently and spiritual authority exerted over a region as given by God will tell.


Pastor E.A Adeboye for the discerning and spiritually alert , although he claims to be a Pastor as he often doesn't like to be called a Prophet, fits perfectly into this mould of who we can call a spiritual authority representing and propagating the advancement of Gods interest on earth and by extension in Nigeria.

Go through the records since Nigeria began democracy,He's has such incredible influence on who gets into the most exalted office of the nation. From giving a prophecy about a prisoner who is coming to rule like Joseph (Obasanjo) to Good luck Jonathan who without shame knelt on the altar of the redeemed as he prayed for him, or Buhari who kept failing in his bid to get to the Aso rock until he had a strategic alliance with one of Adeboyes covenant most trusted children and pastor.

Believe it or not Adeboye is God's mouth piece over the Government of Nigeria in dictating who gets what or not. Speaking of his personality we all can tell that's not in doubt.Hes a world renown anointed man of God, known for his personality of a lifestyle of holiness, humility, simplicity etc.

Let's I forget, I read of people on this forum who kept passing ridiculous comments on the inability of Him to have predicted Covid. Truth is God told Abraham, there is nothing I will hide from you, cos they were that close. Am sure there were very few people in that age who could boast of such privileged closeness with God cos at the end it's a gift.

For some of us who were discerning like I started with, Baba Adeboye prophesised about Covid 19, just that it was not as plain as it sounded when he gave it at the watch night.He told us then that the world will act like a baby convulsing and will go on a compulsory holiday...mark the word convulsing and compulsory holiday, that was a synonym for "Lock down"..

God has been speaking to him on Matters on Nigeria not today even world view matters and not just today so if he says God hasnt said anytn yet, we just have to be patient and be discerning cos there is usually no two Moses in a dispensation, or an Elihah and Elisha existing at the same time.

Shalom!

Successfulben:
lubblish...redeemers ko covenant ni

Oga....calm down na....Covid 19 is still very much upon us..whatever innovation to save life is welcome...anytn virtual bro.

drunkpunk:


Aunty Dorcas! You remember Samco?

NUA , ..that iron lady of English department that thought GNS and was a terror to most sets...whats her name again...the woman get swag sha....Kai.. memories of RUN...

Hi... I am a Lagos based early thirties young man,31 precisely. A working class, an adent lover of God...call it spirit kòkò as you like..,a worker in one of the mega parishes in R.C.C.G Lagos
I am intelligent,ambitious smart, humorous, average height( not short,not tall like taaaal).Open minded, outgoing, sanguine plus a mix of melancholy

I can be also very reserved but playful at other times when am with my peeps.can also be very over serios(serios mode�), anoying and troublesome.I am just a mixed breed.like a lion and a lamb tingy..u get..?

However, I figured out I lld love to spend the rest of my life with a God fearing young intelligent , playful, God loving , homly, beautiful and industrious lady...preferably fair but not compulsory...with Godly character dou cos I am really working on that mysef..

I need to meet a lady of this sort..you would interest me if you fit that description. we could nature a special kind of friendship that could bring us togeher foreva if God wills it...

I have never done this bfr..I have been playing low key fasting and praying..even today ..but today I got this place and decided to shoot my shot...if you are the one ..pls feel free to message me on this no..

God bless you...its a step of faith , you need not hesitate abt it...this days we can't meet evryone at an event...this could be it.

enjoy
08104553602

08104553602....can I still join this platform. if so, pls add me asap.thanks

truthfulparrot:
Jesus entered Jerusalem riding a donkey. In his days, it was the poor that use donkeys as means of transportation while the rich used horses and chariots.

It is rather sad that most Nigerians pastors are materialistics and do not follow the footsteps of Jesus. I don't need the help of any pastor to serve my God. I would rather give money to the poor and less privileged than pay tithes to these Pharisees called pastors.

Kai...how is it that not everyone that goes to church really understands what Christianity is about...sir....I doubt you are cos if you do you know the reason why he had to be poor. Christ became poor so you and I can be rich..did you ever read that part of ur bible...Did you read where he said if you see him you can gain the whole world? Did you read scriptures say God delights in the prosperity of his servants? Did you read where it is said, He was made poor and for the sake of his poverty you might be reach, did you read where scriptures say you will lay up gold as dust? Did you read where he said he wishes above all that you prosper nd be in health as long as your soul prospers..

Show me one scripture where it's written cos Christ was poor we should be poor...so what's the essence of his death? People like you just keep polluting the sanity of God's word make souls close to salvation or repentance not to see the light of God's word just for the sake of scoring cheap points to be intellectually correct or sound.
Pa Adeboye treked 18 years of his life bare footted..did you? He was so poor even the poor called him poor..where were you to criticise him then...I guess to you he was looking like Jesus cos he was poor.the young Adeboye surrendered his life to God totally , submitted his career and great ambitions of becoming one one the youngest brilliant mind the academia would have ever known in Africa to become a pastor of a remote church of less than 40 parishes close to half a decade and now that the proceeds of surrender and benefits of reward from God who called him is showing forth some children of hate can't stand but spew trash to score points..

I rather not comment..Am not so about Adeboye but about your wrong analysis and analogy of comparing poverty with Jesus..Jesus is royalty..he left all that to come here and became poor so I can be rich ...why duplicate the poverty again..As far as my bible tells me Heaven is made of gold...you havnt even seen anytn yet..

I hardly comment on nairaland but this gibberish is out of town...lets be guided

In a statement released by his Special Assistant, (Media and Communications), Pastor Adebayo Oladeji, the CAN boss said it is unacceptable for these state governments to continue to lockdown churches.

“THE PRESIDENT, CHRISTIAN ASSOCIATION OF NIGERIA (CAN), HIS EMINENCE, REV DR SAMSON ‘SUPO AYOKUNLE, ON BEHALF OF THE ASSOCIATION, HAS CALLED ON ALL STATE GOVERNMENTS THAT ARE YET TO REOPEN CHURCHES UNDER THEIR WATCHES TO DO SO NOW BECAUSE THE CONTINUED LOCKDOWN ORDER ON THE PLACES OF WORSHIP IS NO LONGER ACCEPTABLE AND REASONABLY JUSTIFIED.

DESPITE THE DIRECTIVE GIVEN BY THE PRESIDENTIAL TASK FORCE ON COVID-19 WITH REGARDS TO THE RE-OPENING OF PLACES OF WORSHIP NATIONWIDE, SOME STATES LIKE LAGOS AND OGUN ARE YET TO ALLOW WORSHIP PLACES, ESPECIALLY CHURCHES, TO BE REOPENED. WHAT SIN HAVE THE PLACES OF WORSHIP COMMITTED?

WITH THE SUDDEN EMERGENCE OF THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC, THE LEADERSHIP OF THE CHRISTIAN ASSOCIATION OF NIGERIA (CAN) AT ALL LEVELS, AGREED WITH THE GOVERNMENT ON THE NEED TO CLOSE DOWN THE PLACES OF WORSHIP, ECONOMY, SCHOOLS AND EVERY OTHER FACET OF LIFE.

BUT WITH THE REOPENING OF THE ECONOMY, ESPECIALLY THE MARKETS (BOTH ORGANIZED AND THE UNORGANIZED MARKETS) ALONG WITH THE PLAN TO REOPEN AIRPORTS AND SCHOOLS, THE CLOSURE OF CHURCHES ANYWHERE IN THE COUNTRY IS NO LONGER TENABLE AND ACCEPTABLE. IN WHAT WAY ARE THE OPENED AND ROADSIDE MARKETS MORE ORGANIZED THAN THE CHURCH WHICH WARRANTED THEIR OPENING?

IS IT NOT OUR MEMBERS IN THE PLACES OF WORSHIP THAT DO GO TO MARKETS AND OTHER SECTORS OPENED? WHY ARE THEY ALLOWED TO GO TO MARKETS AND DISALLOWED FROM GOING TO PLACES OF WORSHIP? IS IT BECAUSE THE MARKETERS CANNOT CONTACT THE VIRUS IN THE MARKETS AND AIRPORTS?

IT IS OUR OPINION THAT WHILE THE GOVERNMENT AND OTHER RELEVANT STAKEHOLDERS ARE WORKING HARD TO GET CURE FOR THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC, THE CHURCH TOO HAS A ROLE TO PLAY BY SEEKING FOR DIVINE SOLUTIONS AS WELL” THE STATEMENT READ IN PART.

Applications for the inaugural WBG YPP cohort are open from June 1 – June 30 for all profiles and will reopen from August 17 – September 21 for IFC and MIGA profiles only.

APPLICATION CHECKLIST

Resume/CV
Academic Credentials*
2 Short Essays
Short Summary of Thesis or Dissertation (World Bank candidates only)
3 Professional or Academic Recommendations**
*Diploma, Degree Completion Letter, Proof of Enrollment w/ Expected Graduation Date or Transcript.

**Recommendations will be requested via email during the eligibility screening stage...


The above is the message publicity sent to interested candidates for the world bank job recruitment advertised earlier this month..it's to close end of this month. Please has anyone information on where to send in the application..those documents requested where it is to be sent..has anyone here applied or knows any one who did...I am eligible and this opportunity Is closing in days now. Some one should be assist me with the information...


I had searched their site endlessly, there seem to be no place there for submission . I even wrote the world bank a direct message of enquiry but just as you would expect, a automated machine replied and I wasn't convinced with the answers...


Please some one should help push this to the required place for it to be seen .
Thanks. God bless

Ok so I was in a relationship thst I thought was it during and after sch. It ended 6yrs( were best of friends for 3yrs)plus after she left the country to UK for masters.
I became smtn else two years down the line..tried several relationships since then but the best I cud get was at worst a six month spell , until I zoomed off around 2018 and met this lady

We became friends for months, by 2019 we met in person , by this time we were alredy in love bfr seeing.Meeting her at the redemption camp that night for the first time was either to confirm my feelings or discard it cos all were had done bfr then was at best exchange pictures nd talk on the phone. She has a sweet voice by the way..

Fast forward to 2020, I love this babe, but shes way younger than I am, 7yrs diff..so we reason so differently and now we av been past the honeymoon stage since the begining of this year and it's been a roller coaster all cos we seem to be incompatible...I see she loves me and I do too.She's a virgin even thou I am not but I av been cool with her stand on no sex till marriage.

I know i havnt wifed her yer but i have declared all my affection and intensions to her ..met a few of her siblings, introduced her to my mum just so she nows how serios I am..

But here lies the problem..
She knows she's my all..I rarely keep female frnds, she's my best friend and all that so I feel shes begining to behave manipulative in words and actions...like feel in charge. .gyz anyone knows what that feeling feels like? We have broken up a few times I had gone to talk to her ...she's very opinionated and strong willed ...I love her despite all these and I know she wil come around as she comes of age...
Hoping that while I groom her into my kind of woman while time passes and i wil be getting ready esp as she's stil has age a few years to spare.

Those stuffs I mentioned are the few buts that really gets across, I saw them from day one but I kept giving mysef assurances that she wil come around.Asides this shes of several other beautiful qualities..

Second..thou we havnt had sex , we indulge in sexual sins , just think of it asides sex itsef and it's been a roller coaster of me having to go back to God every other time...alot has been happening to me so unfriendly since this habit started nd its become an habit that passed from my ex...I don't womanize but wth my woman, except if I dnt love her wil I not want to get cosy atimes but I have strong regard for sex dou but I know that doesn't make me a better Christian. So I prayed asked God to take this relationship away many times..lately saying still weather or not she's even the one..

Asides the fact that this is the only vulnerability I have ...(when am with my woman, and i rarely see her , so when i see , its a rush, I just no how to respect my boundaries) when am with her, am also geting fed up of all the compatibility issues , every day fights and quarells. It bothers me alot and i hate to think of it..and am begining to ask did I make a mistake for going for a younger smart intelligent sexy God fearing beautiful lady...

Ystday was supposed to be a date after a long while, it ended a mess...i admit I contribute to this too but she rarely does..like I said , I am not ready for marrige yet even dou am of age and I know i stil av some work to do on mysef generally but am prepared...but I concluded this lady aint ready nor prepared..so it puts us in a different strain

Spoke to a mentor abt it and she advised I call it off...that the foundation is wrong, are arguments were if the foundation is wrongly laid it's definitely going to affect the building..She asked if any pastor or mentor knows abt it , I said no , just mysef and her but that I intended on doing when marriage is at sight..she said I should quit it still
I still love her..this am she called , I responded by a text...However if that's what i must do then I must have the nerve to do it..just want to be sure

I woke up this am asking God to take her away weather or not she is the one for me...it's that bad...but I said if she's the one He should bring her back when we are both ready and prepared..

Pls advise on what you think is best to be done putting all the factors I mentioned into consideration.

Thanks..and God bless..

Sometimes I wonder how we think in this part of the world...smh

Tell me or mention one great man or woman in history or stil living who made it without the input, sacrifices of others, related or not, friends, etc who gave up time, resources, made sacrifices, some times even gave up their space for the successful person to have.

This are the kind of people you dare not forget if you want to sustain and remain at that echelon of success...not weekend party friends or some fair-weather acquaintances, I mean those who you know without their input you wont be near where you are today...that's one way to keep been up there.

Examples abound, let's look at our present day football icons...look at CR7,someone quoted him, a good example even Messi's life commitment to Barca isn't far -fetched from the fact that it was the club that saw the good in him and harnessed him for the world to see when no one noticed. The picture is, there are people you dare not turn blind eye to when you arrive if you dnt want to be a success of yester-year.

Even Jesus needed someone (Joseph of arithmetia)to help him lift his cross to Calvary...check history, that man's lineage is still been referred to til tomoro cos of that singular act...you and I read of him..

Am not saying this guy's life burdens should be borne by kel but trust me He kel owes posterity a point of duty of remembrance to once a while remember his source..

Like they say a river that forgets his source will soon dry out.I know kel has more potentials than he has ever displayed...Maybe stuffs like this can help speak grace for him when it matters..We all need that extra bit of grace or luck as some wil call it..

For those shouting hussle..hussle..many people are hussling but how many are bussling in the hussle?..things are hard , people re going tru alot..so if you find ursef in a position to help no mata how little esp those who have once contributed to your current state one way or the other, you owe them..yes you do...

One good turn deserves another..
Africans grow...grow.

Hmmmn! Damn sad...Whenever I read through post of young men committing suicide due to a failed relationship, where a supposed heart-rob breaks the young man's heart, I feel so sad. But then I feel strong and alive within me and with a gracious heart to God, I thank God for my own ordeal because I have been there, I have gone through one of the worst heart breaks ever heard or seen.

It could be so bad if you could literally "die" for the woman in question, That song, I will catch a Grenade for you could be real, Its relative, love can drive some men that far to engage in such simile actions in the name of love. Consider if you gyz were soul mates, if she was all you had, if you had talked about the future, had plans figured out altogether, if she was more a friend to you than a romantic partner, If all your family and friends and hers knew you gyz together and thought it wise also that you two would be a perfect fit, if you gyz had dated for at least 5 years…Hmmn quite long, that’s a mini decade. if all through the length of the friendship turned dating, you two were NEVER given to sex, Most likely kiss and all, but for sanity sake, you didn’t bother her with sex, few men come this far. You as the guy loved her that much, cos you felt she was going to be yours and you so anticipate and willing to wait for the right time, so why the rush, yeah....true love can be that disciplined or "Stupid"... if you know, you know....

THEY DATED FOR 7 years, 6, 8 9 years, Haba! That is too long a time now, what were you thinking? Is she a tourist attraction? Most people that are quick to spill trash like this cant boast of a steady relationship of 1yr plus... Clam down, understand the facts...The reality is that the dating period is usually said to be that long because most times they add up the times they were close friends before they officially started dating(Reason for the obvious length of MOST longtime relationships).

It’s even worse if you had to see her leave you over a period, I mean you saw her withdraw in a space of time and watched helplessly doing all you can and yet she still had to break away. Then its suicidal if with all this, you had to go through it all by yourself with little or no external support of family and friends; Pre-breakup, break-up and post break up, Just like mine was...It has a way of breaking even the nicest of angels and turning them into "demons"...You lose sense of purpose, direction, health, mind, self-love, just name it...It takes GOD ALONE if anyone gets this far and comes back sane and alive. So you see why I thank God though I get sad when I see those who didn't make it through. It’s not because I was strong and they were weak. Somehow Grace found me because I contemplated it many many many times too.

Mine was a 6 yrs plus,We were friends for 4 yrs, but We already knew we loved each other from 6 months into our parts crossing.. When she bowed out on me..Masters bla bla bla, I felt the whole world literally had ended so there was no need any more to live. You won’t understand if with the entire picture I have painted you seem lost in all I have said already, so no need stressing myself.

Therefore its utter cluelessness to hear such stories about a young man committing suicide in the name of love and begin to cast stones on them, saying all manner of gibberish about the deceased just because you are there casting the stone from a comfort zone.[/font] No one literally takes his /her life from a comfort zone? So instead, if you can’t just look away, then pray they rest in peace at least and pray you do not ever find yourself or pray no one close to you ever finds his or her self in such a situation...

As for those who somehow scaled through storms like this, they are the better of it, just like the eagles. I thank God for reaching out to me when life had made me think there was nothing else to live for because someone walked out .Painful truth is, it doesn’t always necessarily mean that the ladies in question are bad, it could be, it could also be that they weren’t meant to be the real deal, so somehow fate plays its course in our lives just to make us happy endings. I see how strong I had become over the years and stronger each day, just as the saying goes in my native dialect “Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you"....

To all those going through this kind of scenario I went through and painted earlier, stay strong and reach out to God, else you will, it’s not you might, you will lose heart somewhere in between, God alone can help you through it.
#STAYSTRONG.....

I Joined an organization, a bank on the island about a year ago, precisely the accounts department. I love to talk, relate well with people, make my conversations lively and memorable. I can be very quiet and reserve too o, lets just say I am a mixed breed of a sanguine and melancholy. Initially my sanguine nature made me shoot myself in the leg as I threw myself at everyone in the department from day one, trying to be "Friendly'', it wasn't too long before I realized my approach to fitting into my new workplace environment wasn't right.

Then I withdrew, I took my time to observe everyone in the branch, however, those in my department in particular as I had cause to relate with them everyday.I became a master of everyone around in no time,I had studied their level of emotional and relational intelligence. I saw myself flow well and in good shape with everyone, my bosses, mates and juniors, safe one lady.

I guess she was the "eye" of the department before I came in. During my "ignorance period", she was a friend sort of, but after my observation I knew better and we gradually became distant. Afterwards I sensed the repulsion she had for me . Truth is, she can be rude, I have seen her display that trait couple times. I feel she dislikes me, like cant stand my guts . However she cant help "poknose" into my affairs, like say when a discussion is going on and she- busy or engaged , once I say anything ,I see how she pays rapt attention to want to listen to me, like maybe out of the hatred- "what does he have to say again". and then this disdain look, I just feel sorry for her, dust it off and move on with my own life.

The other day, a senior colleague asked me a question, before I could say jack , she answered for me, I was just startled, I did not utter a word,she can be that forward. She has come across me in her attitudes many times like she does to others but I gave it to her on an occasion. Felt I needed to be firm that day and I was impressed I was at not tolerating her that day, other colleagues looked on while the drama lasted and would not agree less with me.

After my careful study of everyone in the department, I knew she was top on my list of people I needed to avoid their garbage, I MEAN NO NEGATIVE VIBE POLICY...so I did, I reduced communication with her, but after the occasion I mentioned earlier, we barely spoke gain,I cant remember when last I spoke to her safe on official matters, and if its a thing I can do without having to contact her, I safe myself the stress

I greet her in the mornings though, usually the first...Haaaaaa! However, I occasionally deliberately ignore to do the greeting so it doesn't seem like a right and ritual to her, but I try to balance it. But if she greets first, I sure would graciously respond with a smile, like this morning.Maybe she likes me I have thought..Narh, shes not my kind not class ,not my "Kind" of woman. I dnt mean to degrade her, shes nt just my kind of lady in any right.So I thought this am, hope am not feeling pompous, or nursing grude with her unconsciously cos smtymes in a day if ntn brings us together, I might av no need to talk to her, but we see and all, I am flowing well and talk wth every other person in the department, another lady inclusive.

As the more matured person here, am I really doing the right thing? Yeah shes gat attitude, rude, saucy...Hope it anit that am the one just carried away by her gibberish and that what am getting cos thats mostly all I see to be truthful, but really i cant help but notice it, cos thats what she displays around me.
Just this morning, while meditating I had to ask mysef, Hope it isnt that am habouring resentment towards this lady . if that is , then its a big turn off for me.
In my bid to avoid her gibberish, I sense I may be outdoing it and thereby doing smtn wrong , or am I on track. someone should tell me what is and whats the best line of action on dealing with issues like this...

The other day I tried to do smtn I would rarely do, I went for a training, when I came back I brot stuffs for everyone and was sharing, I passed her initially, but leta when back to dish her hers, I tot that was a message to be like"Aunty pls can we just relate as normal humans" she doesn't just get it..

Maybe its my melancholy part of me thats just acting up on this issue , and am on track on this. A few advice will do
Thanks...

Thanks

Dipsie:
Hello Guys,
I had to create a new account to discuss this topic with you.
I have a lady I have dated for 3years now.

The past few months especially has been challenging.
She got a job sometime in August last year and had to move in to my apartment here in Lagos, she had just finished her master’s degree then at University of Ibadan. She stayed at my place from August until December when she quit the job.

For almost the whole of January she was at her family house at ibadan, during that period a female colleague came visiting at my place just after work that evening. I initially didn’t inform my girlfriend about it because I knew she didn’t always feel comfortable with that Lady. While the lady was around, my girlfriend called and later got to know that she came to visit that evening. I have never cheated on my girlfriend since we started dating, she was angry and all that and promised to pay me back or so because of my colleagues visit.

As fate would have it, my girlfriend got another job in Lagos again so automatically she moved in again, I apologized profusely about the other incident of my female colleague coming over and not informing her prior to the visit.
Something else happened few weeks later again, I was on Instagram one evening when I saw an old time friends comment on Bellanaija about getting a best friend to love etc. My playful self, I dropped a sarcastic message on her comment that I was available. My girlfriend was able to see my message because she one way also saw the Bellanaija post on her Instagram. Heaven almost fell, I apologized for about 6 days before she finally pretended the situation was over.
The following week she got back from work and confessed that she had an impromptu date with one of her old time toasters. I was initially pissed off then later calmed down.
But the whole game changer was this last week, while going to work she met a guy who gave her a lift to her office area. Since then they’ve been chatting late nights and he also calls her early in the morning so they arrange where to meet.
Due to my suspicions, I one way gained access to her phone while she slept and actually realized this guy has been picking her up every morning to work at our bus stop and to the extent she’s even been sending him her pictures at work. She actually lied to me she hasn’t followed the guy since the very first day he gave her a ride. She’s been lying a lot to me since this guy came into the picture.
I Challenged her last night and she couldn’t defend herself neither could she give a reason why she lied to me, she only made reference to me breaching the trust she had in me by that Instagram message and then​ my colleagues visit.
Out of anger I spoke already and told her I wasn’t interested in the relationship anymore if this was how it was going to continue. The guy already called her this morning again and she has joined him at the bus stop to go to work again.

P.S.
I have never cheated on this lady for the past 3 years we’ve dated.
I virtually gave her the key to my happiness.
She’s also been in contact with her ex which she broke up with before we started dating for the past 3 years.
Even when we used to have issues in the past, she hardly apologizes genuinely or deeply as I do.
What do you advise?
Sorry for the epistle, thanks for your advise

First..............Never Co-habit with a lady you intend to marry, I mean why make you both lose value for each other. Co-habiting indefinitely wasnt the best choice cos she secured a job, Didnt she have friends, I mean there were alternatives to explore.

Second..........She had a right to suspect your infidelity cos she had been wth you to the other room a couple times...Her actions afterwards are . a show of her been Jealous and insecure with the emotion of suspecting ur infidelity...You shot ursef in the leg telling her.,

Third............Never make a woman ur nt married to, the centre of your hapiness cos they wil defnitiely ruin it couple times, even when married
. take time to conceal and display wth wisdom. they thrive in that atmosphere more than outlandish love , sort of..

Fourth..........Be patient, if you truly love her, wait for her to come around, they twitch once a wyle esp when situations warrant it and there are
. ready distractions to help to. Dont be in a hurry next time to give up except u av really thought abt it and made up your mind, if
. thats the case, am sure you wont be here. Find a way to talk to her, make up, do everything to earn her trust again, if shes a good
girl like the guy that you are, she will see reasons to flip out soon and embrace your love again. That dude giving her a recent lift
to work,most likely is there to just pass time and shes making you feel the bit of the emotions shes going tru too, Provided she
loves you and if she doesnt and so having done all deosent respond, Bros just take it that you have been building ur castle in
the air..as they say ''Bad Market". be grateful you discovered her true self before marriage, embrace it and move on.
you lld find the right person in time

themonk:
After a breakup people who try to make it seem they are carefree are usually the most pained. The aim is to make the other party think they don't care so the other party can contact them.

Narh! May be , May be not. It all depends on their motive for being "carefree according to you" and thats only left to them to figure out. For some it could just be a way to express the new lease of life they are enjoying. Most pple leta find out that not all breakups are as bad as they initially seem to be. Breakups can be a mild form of deliverance from a greater evil and so the ''carefree excitement"

Am here to share my testimony for the kindness of God
to me and anoda chance given me to start my life afresh after a mirage of dark days, just wen I tot all was crumbling around me one after the other, den in a jiffy, the night has turned day..

I was here abt two weeks ago, practicaly worried at how i had allowed mysef to be affected by the situations i was faced wth.A lost my then heartrob, a relationship that lasted 6yrs and sm months before she called it quits...i spoke of how she was all i had, neva new anywoman asides her all the time, neva had sex wth her all d time also....

But since we broke up rapidly and mysteriously, like a wind befell the relationship, i lost it.i let it affect my me, my health, my hapiness, my enthusiasm to life, my Abilities, My ego as a man,became a baby sort of,my frnds, relationship wth God, nd my job...i slid in and out of depression..

Am 28plus, this was a lady we had talked abt marriage plans, even sex plans on wedding night, family plans and all...At my age. Afta all I had been tru for her(i canr even start), where do i start from..Can i eva get anoda woman as beautiful elegant,Intlelligent, homly, etc like she was...all ds rolled tru my head daily as she didnr even bleep a call eva again.....

Back to my job..i lost it early this month..i mysef new i was already in trouble as my productiv levls fell, cudnt concentrate well..I had even started applying else where since the yr began..So when he called me earlier this month and said, hes done wth me, i didnt even protest...

So i came here wrh all this on my mind to alis share dem and ask for counsels and all..i was so disappointed at majority of the comments..need i say i met my ex in sch 100level and made a 1st class..Sm went as far as saying i dnt desav my certificate nd all..saying am a disgrace to manhood, a ntwit and all..All i did was read the minds of these pple and wondered if they cared to know what it is to be really heartbroken esp in my own distnct case avn said much abt it..

Welll i got one advice afterall nd decided to stik to it...went back to God and settled scores wth him..told my mum Of all my sexual escapades since my ex left in a bid to find succor and she started praying for me daily while i also prayed at my end..Den I blcked all distractions and prayed fervently for divine intervention as i went for test and interviews, all this same month...

Early this week, i got a call fr an offer in a reputable company as an executive trainee wth all the nice job conditions and all...better than my previos..avnt even droped my resignation...dou am to start my new role next month...

As if this aint enof this same week...I met this new bae...God! the moment i spotted her,,i felt and new i cud relate with this one.so i droped a punchline and she replied..we bn talkn so closely everyday...guusssh shes damn pretry , more dan my ex if am to be candid nd from all i already no abt her, shes got same virtues nd qualities ...we re so into each oda now....i no i do like her, and given her all the verbal and non verbal cues and as an intelligent person i see her to be, she understands..but av said to mysef, am nt going to push....gonna take it to God in prayers and ask for his leading before saying or doin anytn..thank God we dnt even stay close...
I av also decided to be in charge esp as i set the tune of whateva is gona ensue bwtn us: to do it moderately nd tke it slow nd steady....bt we really on the same page..

Now am like God, in a week, new job, new (hmmmmn)bae, it sounds so good to be true...in this times wheee gettn a job is wth hard labour and connection..he did it jejeli, just like dart, wth his everlasting arm...

Now!
To anyone out there going tru a heartbreak, dnt give in, it hurts, i no, u wanna give up ur truesef cos of the pain..bt darts nt the way forward..just take those pain to God instead..cry before him, wail like a baby wth him...but den listen cos he wil speak...He spoke to me in clear terms...

He is a faithful God aftrall Hes the God of the day and the night....I am resolved within me more than eva to obey him, serve him , fear him and love him dan av eva bn used to....He says he aint even started yet

This is ma testimony
Glory to God
Godbless...

I loved her so much, it was heaven on earth, six yrs plus..from 100level to 3yrs after service, until late last yr wen we broke up, few days to my birthday...
I wept bitterly even during the post break up days as I saw her loose interest in me and i was doubling up, doing everythin i cud to stil make it work, bt alas i cudnt..
How much more wen we did break up..it was hell at the initialy stages, cudnt concentrate well at work, tnks to ma colleagues, severl sleepless nights, wet pillows nd all....
But then with time, that phase passed and i summoned courage somehow to find reason to move on, little did i no i was joking...she abruply stop comm, she even blocked me nd all, so i also decided to face my life...

However, being wth this babe, for the six yrs plus of my life, i knew no oda lady aside her, but since shes gone in six months av known 5 ladies...had sex wth two of them...I say this with deep regret looking back, the most recent one, i rembad calling her name (my ex) while in cosy mood with the most recent lady...

My search for love to fill that vacuum she left has led me into untold character flaws, nt her fault dou, as i take responsibility for my weakness..I guess i took it too far, built my whole life and essence around her amd now that shes gone, everythn seems to be falling apart..i lost my job ystday, my boss says my delivery had been poor, that i had known ovatime, as i first class material, my self esteem and ego had been really battered as am on active search for a new job...

Got alot fghting now,but how do i really deal wth this back and forth feeling for this my ex..I feel i need more than all the therapies out ther cos av read,sort advice bt yet everyday even after six months she takes a toll someau on me and shes just cool where she is...

So i tot to give up on my search for love, a replacement or a filling of the vacumm she created after my most recent sexual escapade cos i see how its draining my energy, spitually and intellectualy ovatime...i tot to cut off from competely in my search for love, just face my life, God, and secure a good job....thats what i shud do and i no it, but its been pretty hard...

I need help...i dnr want to be reduced to a vegetable
A genuine cry for help
.Matured response pls...
Esp from christian singles...
Thanks

God pls help me....and gimme anoda chance.

Good day fellas..Am a child of God, i bliv in doing the right tins as outlined by the scriptures bt esp doing dem out of personal conviction.I attend rccg , my parents re senior pastors in rccg and am 28yrs old.

Until ystday, i hadnt seen my parents this yr.cos i stay in lag while der re faraway elsewer. They came for the ongoing SHGS ,so I tot to attend and see dem..I had high hopes on God, came expecting as am currently seeking God for answers to questions in my life and tot the prog wil do just that.

So i prayd oo that God grant me favo before dem wen i see dem and everyoda person that i will see again in a long while.The moment i stepd in the house at the camp, my dad served me with this cold attitude, i was wandering, what av i done, dou he replied.my mum answered moderately.

Then this morning, i got to know why all that attitude.during the evening session ystday with pastor Adeboye he reiterated how he personaly doesnt like persons with beards, that such persons cant be close to him, azin very very close but that its isnt wrong thou, that its nt just his thing.He cud only aford to keep such pple at arms lent.

This morning my mum came lashing out on me, "i dnt no why u like doing things ur own way, ""you av changed, u dnt allow God, this is not the same -name-
i used to know". nd am like how mummy?den she goes "this thing on ur face whats it all about?".am like mummy , its nt that now, this that, trying to make her see how moderate i kept dem, cos i stil get the point they tryn to pass across nd all.

Den my dad opened up, upon hearing the convasatn wth my mum"i alwz new u were sturbon,this dart"u look like bokoharam pple"wht do u want pple to say abt us"

And am like seriosly? Now to mysef"so this is bad, or sinful which one"...cos a man said its nt his style so its sinful..as i ws pndering on that i began to get boiled in my spirit..contemplating leaving the camp and going back to my base in lag, bt i tot that will be foolish of me and rude to dem..

whatabt my personal convictions abt this program with God..Am i really being disobedient..i was plannng on going to the 76 hours marathon praise jam held in honour of pa Adeboye wen they return. Bt wth this, am angry at dem and feel like a rebellious child now, is it really still needed.All the hopes of fun, lafta, play, discusion i tot i was gonna av wth dem seeing dem first time this yr, all gone...

Meanwhile, i started keeping this moderate beard when i realised i felt more confident and smart in it .now i dnt mind sacrificing my desires for it if its worth it, i mean if keeping it is sinful now from all av said, neida do i want to live my life based on what my parents opinion.
Do i visit the barbers shop asap to get rid of all this to satisfy dem?
Do i just go home asap wth the whole drama, wil that be a wise move?
Do i stil stay around bt leave the beard?

What do i do now...

There are times where even danfo drivers transfer passengers from their buses to another one because the bus is bad. But it is usually the decision of the danfo driver and his conductor not the driver of another danfo.
To all the ladies out there please do not join a vehicle that is driven by a driver you do not trust and for guys don't take a drivers-mate that have no confidence in your driving at least for the sake of your passengers please don't. If you have passengers already you must ensure that they get to their destination safe and sound, please don't leave your passengers stranded. They will not forgive you.

How hard is it to live a quiet life....I no its Gods blessings nd all..bt den do u tink its all who comes to a wedding means well fr the couple....Leta we complain of monitoring spirits wen we oursefs give dem d info...fb is even worse...everybody der wnts to showoff one testimoni or d oda.... Mtccchhewww!

eeewise:
I doubt this relationship will work..
I see a man fighting alone for his Relationship, idolizing a girl
you went to plead with her and u guys made up but the question is till when?
they are no guarantees ..

Oga...y nt keep ur doubts to ursef...Did u read the part i said she expressed her how hurt she was by my rash statements.No lady gives an excuse to break up if they really want to, dats if they even tell u.

And i rightly said to affirm that we were truly bak, i jad to revisit her future plans , mine, the relationship and see if they re still in allignment. Doubt u saw that....

Idolizn her, call it whTeva u can, it tells u the quality of the lady in question....

Anywz, thanks fr commentin....
U shud be invited fr the wddding wen its official to clear ur doubts Mr thomas...

Destinyy22:
My dear, relationships at times can get so frustrating especially when you ain't too sure of your partner's feelings for you. Anyways, just keep loving her (ladies appreciate being loved, cared for and pampered though she should reciprocate the love and care as well) and keep praying for the relationship (I do that for mine especially when I'm troubled).

Thanks dear...well noted

Good day fellas...i came here to give God all the glory first for saving my relationship of 6yrs + wth my heartrob which was abt to crash...

I was here to seek counsel from u gyz few days back when the tension was really just getting underway.The truth is I held back sm truths, or shud i say I hadnt realised dem den, I will say dem now and give u gyz a picture of the currenr situation and den advise...

I noticed i wasnt too impressed wth many of the comments given, just few i culd relate wth.

Kk fyn, i caused it all.everything was my fault.She wasnr givin me enof time, she pulled off greatly(exams period) i didnr think that was enof reson, cos i mean shes my entire world.

So i got irritable, suspicious, rude, and she unleased her other side in me...(men takia)no mata how good ue woman is, she has a beast inside, that can only be unleased by u.

I had neva seen her in that state, this continued even long after exams, she began to give me monosyllables, dont call, i call like foreva b4 a respns, there was even a day i said i love u and she brilliantly ignored, i then brot her attension to it and guess what am hearing "ooh prob it skipped my mind"


That made me more intense, i began thinkn so loudly, i called oo, tired to settle, but we kept on fighting..til d day she made a statement on the last fall out and I,in my unbalanced emotional state, made a rash statement

I said,its ova and hung the call.apparenrly what i feared was coming on me....but then i tot i will be able to bare the repercussion and av her come plead if she was still interested in me, cos at that time ,i was already feeling like a trash, insecured and all.

Bur den, my wildest suprise came the following day when she replied and said, shey u say its ova, no p den paraphrasing her...i was like , seriosly...

Days began to roll in and out,and we werenr talkn.for the first time in 6yrs 24 hours passd without a word from her, i was loosing it slowly...i lost my peace, joy,apetite, as the break up was begining to look real..


Then, I tot so does it mean she doesn really care, six yrs, i said its ova and she says kk, just like that, without any attempt to alist salvage the relationship.

Anywz, i took it to God in prayers and i was humbled.I on the 4th day, sent in a msg of apology , retracting my statements and all.and promising to change, to be more loving, caring ,patient, understanding etc as this were the issues she mentioned i was havn .

She took like foreva to reply.....howeva before she replied, i wenr to God again, i was like baba God , am coming to u as a fada to son, can we tlk. .not the normal conventional way.and i said.God, av apologized to her, once she sees this msg, let her reply be what u want. If this relatnship is good fr us, let her find space to forgive me and we reunite, if not no need, if the later is the case I was already programed in my mind to bare the loss....

If she saw my apology and still maintained a no no decision,there and den i no, she was actualy done wrh me and i helped her wth it...like Merlin magic, i was hardly done talkn to God o when she came online after hours i had sent in the msg

I kept apologizing again, til she spoke and said, i av already forgivn u.i was like when, how..we werent talkn ,etcc....and she opened up to say I really hurt her...at that point i realzed how weak i was emotionaly....i sha stil aplogized, it wasnt few seconds away she mentioned my name and said she loves me...

That gave a soothing feeling to all the heartpains i had been living wth.it wsnt far frm then that i spoke to her extensively, reasuuring her of my love and all....all this happened ystday. We spoke for so long again today, i delibrately went into future plans to decipher her heart to see if her plans and goals are still in sync wth mine which we did...alis to secure my investment on her

We had a great soothing time talkn tonyy...
Lessons av learnt

That i need to be more commited to keeping the conversation lines open, calls, text , vedio, irrespective of my tight schedules or cost

A womans love is like GIGO, garbage in, garbage our. If u wnna see a womn love u, just show her love first and if u want her other side unleashed on u, start by showing it ursef first

Majority of ou fears are foundless. All the people saying shes already been bleeped ,etc i had the fears too mysef, but wen i reflected on who i had non ova d yrs, i culd vouch fr her. Trust is essential fr any relnshp

the God facttor, obviously frm my story , u culd see how he helped smoothen the rooof edges wen e was called upon..

An decided am not going to build my life around any one again, i didnt like the way i felt when she wasnr there, i felt like a walkn corpse....i will still love and stay commited, bur i need to build support systems for mysef .

Some timed a lady can be chocked wth love, she needs space ...

I av come to share my near break up exp so maybe someone culd learn....not evry break up is because someone cheated or smone isnr loving anymore, it culd just be "ego". Imagine if i didnr go plead wth her, thats how i wud av missed out.


Kk gyz, any piece of adice to me on the best way forward will be most appreciated.u gyz will be among d first to see pre-wedding pic soon God willn.. .
So am listening..
Thanks and Good mornin.

franco3075q:
GV HER SMTIME, BE A MAN N STOP CALLING HER, DNT DO ANYTHING TO CONTACT HER, TRUST ME SHE WILL START MISSING U, SHE WILL CALL U, WHN SHE DOES, B IN CONTROL

Thanks....Illd surely have to learn to swallow this hard pill. Like truout ystday we didnt talk except a chat in the day that ended abruptly....I had a pretty long day so I didnt talk.She called , I ddidnt pik. Then getting home after the long traffic and stress of the day, she called and started ragging, y didnt you pick my call, this that, I was just calm suprisinly cos am getting familiar with that new aspect of her.... before I new it she bangged the calll....

She then came to chat, I was there, said no word ,then left....puposely didnt come back. I woke u midnight to check her displeasure and i wasnt disappointed.....She said so u left lke after 5mints of me leaving the chat,what she does without inpunity and after like an hour she came bak to say " and you still didnt come back" from this you can summarise her attitude and its bothering me....
well freinds and well wishers av suggested I keep up with the dstance therapy

luminouz:

Nice comment!!!

I for one can place my money that shes seeing no one,she might be distracted fyn, but that shes already into a gy already bleepin her, mehn, give me some benefits nahhh!, she def would have made me realise I overestimated her...Shes a focused, intelligent, decent and Godfearing beautiful young lady. The attention , yes, She even brags about it to me sef sometimes when things were fyn, but that shes already ben bleeped, I can summarize that.

[quote author=Bidobado post=59961748]She's seeing another guy already. Move on Bro, if she comes back, Bleep her hard and send her away unless you like leftovers.. There's a reason why Nigerian guys in the diaspora stay away from Nigerian girls. They become wild as soon as they enter the country, promiscuity becomes normal to them, and you'll be shocked at the amount of gang bangs Nigerian girls get into at Dagenham and other areas. [/quote

I for one can place my money that shes seeing no one,she might be distracted fyn, but that shes already into a gy already bleepin her, mehn, give me some benefits nahhh!, she def would have made me realise I overestimated her...Shes a focused, intelligent, decent and Godfearing beautiful young lady. The attention , yes, She even brags about it to me sef sometimes when things were fyn, but that shes already ben bleeped, I can summarize that...]

tosinjay:
When partners separate by means of traveling abroad, there can only be a certain sustained conviction to sustain that relationship.
My fiancé wanted to try such but i wasn't in support of it, this is someone who i have so much influence over, but if she travels it'll change a bit or alot.

I do think she's starting to get attention from another guy or probably other guys, not one. Just keep being prayerful and if she's yours things would be fine. But please pray this prayer, it worked for me for my ex, pray God sustains you both if you're meant for one another or separate you peacefully such that you'll be fine. You never can tell, she might even be the wrong person for you as the wonderful person you knew can become something else if you end up married.

Thanks @tosin...I from all I gathered here and there as advice, I see I need to give her time and distance, thou check on her a while. While doing so I lld subcribe to your prayer point for her and us amongst others, while I learn to keep myself happy.....ThIS IS GONNA BE THE FIRST TIME I HAVE TO LEARN TO LIVE WITHOUT HER IN 6YRS.......The last thing on my mind at night,the first thing in the morning, I fight my thoughts to concentrate at work, atimes I ask myself is it really worh it...anyways av gat no choice.......I need Gods grace to handle this......

Thanks

LadyJul:
EyHmmmm... Don't break up with her yet... Relationship has ups and down... I'll advice you to just give her space....with time she will come back to normal... Almost all relationship pass through this stage...and don't forget to continue praying

Thanks

hello gyz! I am in an emotionally demented state of mind now, due to a relationship of 6yrs and counting I have been in,such as I treasure so much and I foresee is about to crash. NEED UR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE.....Those who hav been in a similar relationship and have survived should pls share.Pls lets keep it professional.My heart is pounding as I type this, Make no joke of this. and If you ev got no chill , dont bother cos this is quite an epistle.

Kk 2011,we met in our 100 days, I was 21, she was 19. she was so amazing and still is, I fell in love immedaitely, with my swags and all she couldnt resist. we were best friends, she helped me severally in many ways, I did too. fast foward to final yr, I gave her my first kiss and all apart from sex. I loved her to want to marry her so even when i had the chances it wasnt much of a temptation to resist.
I had a first class , she made 2:1....
service yr came, I was posted to taraba, she worked her way to PH where she stays, lets I forget, we met in a private university and her parents are quite wealthy, this I didnt no until we had fallen in love, she said she delibrately hid that from me.Anyways orientation camp camp 2015, I was posted to TARABA state. I couldnt bare the feeling of life without her, I met no real friends, I was alwys calling her , we were tied together apparently. so she spoke t her mum to help in directing my posting...

I thought it was a joke, put in for redeployment and Ph I went. We finally had the chance to see each other again after school.I was lucky enough that the house I eventualy got to stay was just a minute distance to her house. We were really close that one yr, I went to her house like Kilode, her mum,siblings all saw me and i felt the warm rception.Just for those who ar thinkg that I eat her "pekkus", I didnt stil, all the "close toos" why cos I felt I sholdnt If really loved her, thats my opinio sha...I mean apart from this incidencs there wer times in school , when we went out, alot so thats just me.

Service yr gave me the chance to know this girl really well, so much so that when I was leaving her i said to her,dupe. lets assume thats her name. ''Dupe I can confidently leave you now" As against my inability during orietation. cos we had knitted together in several ways in those yrs, thought and planed our future, prayed together, disgreed and agreed etc, you gyz no all those things na....

Aiit,now late 2015 I left Ph back to the west, leaving her with her parents...I mean life has started in real sense. I started applying,dint get a job, lets I forget I took my professional exams while in ph with her so you dont think am an NFA, Ihave alwz been that ambituos gy, i mean one of the reasons I know she fell in love with me back den in sch. By early 2016,I took up a voluntary job, got some experience and rcommendation that led to my first job of about 80k.....She was happy for me an all, so i was but I knew within me, I hadnt found the right job that will sustain the life I need to leave if I will end up with her, so I pressed on more...
Meanwhile In the passage of time, now that the relatioship is now long distance, I made sure I visited her Once in 3mnths ..I go to Ph to pay her a visit of days, meet her , her parents, I didnt meet with her dad until after service yr..After meeting him in one of the occasions of my visit, he will hand me full cash as TP back, I felt rlunctant collecting it , but then, I thought to humble mysef.


Things went fyn as time passed asided the once a while minor issues that prop up due to distance and when I see tht its becoming an issue , I know its time to pay a visit. On my home front, I had told my parents about her, My mum seem receptive of her as an "OMOLUABI" but my dad ......hmmmn Undecisive, U no men and their ways ...She got to meet my parents and siblings On our convocation day and since then shes been checking once a while and all,just like I have very good rapor with her mum.


Genngeenn.....Then Late 2016 she mentioned travelling abroad for masters, she has been working a while. I liked the idea even thought there and then I felt waaoooo...its gonna be a diff ball game.Anywz , I encouraged her, supported her sef, remembering Closing my account to buy her a pair of White Nike Trainers.....such as I av not worn mysef....What men do for love and gave her on the night before her dparture .
She left may 2017 and I was with mixed feelings, but with the lady I had spent one yr fully with , sch life experience nothwithstandind ,i Felt all will be well.

So I got encourgaged mysef, picked up my cv and started applying, recently I got anther job , almost twice of my previous pay....I felt am begining to be in shape for this my girl....cos looking at her background, we are leagues apart though we met at a top rated private university, But then this girl has been like a queen, character, beauty, homely, she can cook for the middle east.....lol, godly, there were many times she helped my sexual moods and all, can go on and this is the reason why I treated her so highly, I built my life practically around her....


She relocated and almost immediately things changed....she kept a distance and we werent i comm, it took me a while to realize that I was been too greedy , I mean she just relocated for study, she will need time to settle, register, no her ways around and all. When I got this, I gave her time and really she came around. comm was alot better, we began chatting more, calling , even vedio....I then was able to assist her in some of her assignments.......


But lately , In the past One month, what used to be a source of joy to me, is begining to be a source of worry.......
We quarell now more often than not at lttle things
she abuses me by disrespecting me ,,the ladies mght not fully grasp this......She ignores
she determines when we talk and when she leaves....
she no longer conects , that chemistry is lacking , thou we talk, we dont communicate
she doesnt rely my sexual words like geting all dirty and all
there is alwz an excuse for anyting
she doesnt make explanatins except asked..
I gave my sis and mum her Uk no to call her and check up on her, she ignores my sis and mums call
She can shout at you, what sm ple can nagging,
So many , can go on and on



I tried talking to her once and telling her how I felt, she poured it out on me, not seeing any fault on her part....I have seen my self suffering so much and am wandering, is this the dead end or just another phase...I have thought a break up with her times over even though i still care , but am wandering may be Its me, misinterpreting, been quick to judge, or may be its me suffering with Low self esteem that , I think am not fit for her, I mean I live a responsible and simple life nd to God be the glory, I have a good job....I have also thought may be painfully its time to move on, our lifes have taken diff courses, but then i ask , is that a reason to just jettison 6 lovely yrs of being with her, maybe shes found a new attention ova dia, i HAVE PRAYED PRAYED PRAYED for those who will say go and pray, I have, there as even one night recently I thought to whine God, I said. " God if you can just speak to me in my dreams tonyt about who this girl really is before i take a decision , I will speak to -- no of persons about who Good a God you are" Am sure God was laughing at me , COs i woke up miserable feeling and hearing nothing, But i will still persist, I have an idea he rewards those who seek him diligently....If I can get that Info, then I know My problem is solved....but in the interim PROFESSIONAL ADVICE ON WHAT I SHOULD DO PLS.........
Thanks for those who read through.....

hello gyz! I am in an emotionally demented state of mind now, due to a relationship of 6yrs and counting I have been in,such as I treasure so much and I foresee is about to crash. NEED UR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE.....Those who hav been in a similar relationship and have survived should pls share.Pls lets keep it professional.My heart is pounding as I type this, Make no joke of this. and If you ev got no chill , dont bother cos this is quite an epistle.

Kk 2011,we met in our 100 days, I was 21, she was 19. she was so amazing and still is, I fell in love immedaitely, with my swags and all she couldnt resist. we were best friends, she helped me severally in many ways, I did too. fast foward to final yr, I gave her my first kiss and all apart from sex. I loved her to want to marry her so even when i had the chances it wasnt much of a temptation to resist.
I had a first class , she made 2:1....
service yr came, I was posted to taraba, she worked her way to PH where she stays, lets I forget, we met in a private university and her parents are quite wealthy, this I didnt no until we had fallen in love, she said she delibrately hid that from me.Anyways orientation camp camp 2015, I was posted to TARABA state. I couldnt bare the feeling of life without her, I met no real friends, I was alwys calling her , we were tied together apparently. so she spoke t her mum to help in directing my posting...

I thought it was a joke, put in for redeployment and Ph I went. We finally had the chance to see each other again after school.I was lucky enough that the house I eventualy got to stay was just a minute distance to her house. We were really close that one yr, I went to her house like Kilode, her mum,siblings all saw me and i felt the warm rception.Just for those who ar thinkg that I eat her "pekkus", I didnt stil, all the "close toos" why cos I felt I sholdnt If really loved her, thats my opinio sha...I mean apart from this incidencs there wer times in school , when we went out, alot so thats just me.

Service yr gave me the chance to know this girl really well, so much so that when I was leaving her i said to her,dupe. lets assume thats her name. ''Dupe I can confidently leave you now" As against my inability during orietation. cos we had knitted together in several ways in those yrs, thought and planed our future, prayed together, disgreed and agreed etc, you gyz no all those things na....

Aiit,now late 2015 I left Ph back to the west, leaving her with her parents...I mean life has started in real sense. I started applying,dint get a job, lets I forget I took my professional exams while in ph with her so you dont think am an NFA, Ihave alwz been that ambituos gy, i mean one of the reasons I know she fell in love with me back den in sch. By early 2016,I took up a voluntary job, got some experience and rcommendation that led to my first job of about 80k.....She was happy for me an all, so i was but I knew within me, I hadnt found the right job that will sustain the life I need to leave if I will end up with her, so I pressed on more...
Meanwhile In the passage of time, now that the relatioship is now long distance, I made sure I visited her Once in 3mnths ..I go to Ph to pay her a visit of days, meet her , her parents, I didnt meet with her dad until after service yr..After meeting him in one of the occasions of my visit, he will hand me full cash as TP back, I felt rlunctant collecting it , but then, I thought to humble mysef.


Things went fyn as time passed asided the once a while minor issues that prop up due to distance and when I see tht its becoming an issue , I know its time to pay a visit. On my home front, I had told my parents about her, My mum seem receptive of her as an "OMOLUABI" but my dad ......hmmmn Undecisive, U no men and their ways ...She got to meet my parents and siblings On our convocation day and since then shes been checking once a while and all,just like I have very good rapor with her mum.


Genngeenn.....Then Late 2016 she mentioned travelling abroad for masters, she has been working a while. I liked the idea even thought there and then I felt waaoooo...its gonna be a diff ball game.Anywz , I encouraged her, supported her sef, remembering Closing my account to buy her a pair of White Nike Trainers.....such as I av not worn mysef....What men do for love and gave her on the night before her dparture .
She left may 2017 and I was with mixed feelings, but with the lady I had spent one yr fully with , sch life experience nothwithstandind ,i Felt all will be well.

So I got encourgaged mysef, picked up my cv and started applying, recently I got anther job , almost twice of my previous pay....I felt am begining to be in shape for this my girl....cos looking at her background, we are leagues apart though we met at a top rated private university, But then this girl has been like a queen, character, beauty, homely, she can cook for the middle east.....lol, godly, there were many times she helped my sexual moods and all, can go on and this is the reason why I treated her so highly, I built my life practically around her....


She relocated and almost immediately things changed....she kept a distance and we werent i comm, it took me a while to realize that I was been too greedy , I mean she just relocated for study, she will need time to settle, register, no her ways around and all. When I got this, I gave her time and really she came around. comm was alot better, we began chatting more, calling , even vedio....I then was able to assist her in some of her assignments.......


But lately , In the past One month, what used to be a source of joy to me, is begining to be a source of worry.......
We quarell now more often than not at lttle things
she abuses me by disrespecting me ,,the ladies mght not fully grasp this......She ignores
she determines when we talk and when she leaves....
she no longer conects , that chemistry is lacking , thou we talk, we dont communicate
she doesnt rely my sexual words like geting all dirty and all
there is alwz an excuse for anyting
she doesnt make explanatins except asked..
I gave my sis and mum her Uk no to call her and check up on her, she ignores my sis and mums call
She can shout at you, what sm ple can nagging,
So many , can go on and on



I tried talking to her once and telling her how I felt, she poured it out on me, not seeing any fault on her part....I have seen my self suffering so much and am wandering, is this the dead end or just another phase...I have thought a break up with her times over even though i still care , but am wandering may be Its me, misinterpreting, been quick to judge, or may be its me suffering with Low self esteem that , I think am not fit for her, I mean I live a responsible and simple life nd to God be the glory, I have a good job....I have also thought may be painfully its time to move on, our lifes have taken diff courses, but then i ask , is that a reason to just jettison 6 lovely yrs of being with her, maybe shes found a new attention ova dia, i HAVE PRAYED PRAYED PRAYED for those who will say go and pray, I have, there as even one night recently I thought to whine God, I said. " God if you can just speak to me in my dreams tonyt about who this girl really is before i take a decision , I will speak to -- no of persons about who Good a God you are" Am sure God was laughing at me , COs i woke up miserable feeling and hearing nothing, But i will still persist, I have an idea he rewards those who seek him diligently....If I can get that Info, then I know My problem is solved....but in the interim PROFESSIONAL ADVICE ON WHAT I SHOULD DO PLS.........
Thanks for those who read through.....

hello gyz! I am in an emotionally demented state of mind now, due to a relationship of 6yrs and counting I have been in,such as I treasure so much and I foresee is about to crash. NEED UR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE.....Those who hav been in a similar relationship and have survived should pls share.Pls lets keep it professional.My heart is pounding as I type this, Make no joke of this. and If you ev got no chill , dont bother cos this is quite an epistle.

Kk 2011,we met in our 100 days, I was 21, she was 19. she was so amazing and still is, I fell in love immedaitely, with my swags and all she couldnt resist. we were best friends, she helped me severally in many ways, I did too. fast foward to final yr, I gave her my first kiss and all apart from sex. I loved her to want to marry her so even when i had the chances it wasnt much of a temptation to resist.
I had a first class , she made 2:1....
service yr came, I was posted to taraba, she worked her way to PH where she stays, lets I forget, we met in a private university and her parents are quite wealthy, this I didnt no until we had fallen in love, she said she delibrately hid that from me.Anyways orientation camp camp 2015, I was posted to TARABA state. I couldnt bare the feeling of life without her, I met no real friends, I was alwys calling her , we were tied together apparently. so she spoke t her mum to help in directing my posting...

I thought it was a joke, put in for redeployment and Ph I went. We finally had the chance to see each other again after school.I was lucky enough that the house I eventualy got to stay was just a minute distance to her house. We were really close that one yr, I went to her house like Kilode, her mum,siblings all saw me and i felt the warm rception.Just for those who ar thinkg that I eat her "pekkus", I didnt stil, all the "close toos" why cos I felt I sholdnt If really loved her, thats my opinio sha...I mean apart from this incidencs there wer times in school , when we went out, alot so thats just me.

Service yr gave me the chance to know this girl really well, so much so that when I was leaving her i said to her,dupe. lets assume thats her name. ''Dupe I can confidently leave you now" As against my inability during orietation. cos we had knitted together in several ways in those yrs, thought and planed our future, prayed together, disgreed and agreed etc, you gyz no all those things na....

Aiit,now late 2015 I left Ph back to the west, leaving her with her parents...I mean life has started in real sense. I started applying,dint get a job, lets I forget I took my professional exams while in ph with her so you dont think am an NFA, Ihave alwz been that ambituos gy, i mean one of the reasons I know she fell in love with me back den in sch. By early 2016,I took up a voluntary job, got some experience and rcommendation that led to my first job of about 80k.....She was happy for me an all, so i was but I knew within me, I hadnt found the right job that will sustain the life I need to leave if I will end up with her, so I pressed on more...
Meanwhile In the passage of time, now that the relatioship is now long distance, I made sure I visited her Once in 3mnths ..I go to Ph to pay her a visit of days, meet her , her parents, I didnt meet with her dad until after service yr..After meeting him in one of the occasions of my visit, he will hand me full cash as TP back, I felt rlunctant collecting it , but then, I thought to humble mysef.


Things went fyn as time passed asided the once a while minor issues that prop up due to distance and when I see tht its becoming an issue , I know its time to pay a visit. On my home front, I had told my parents about her, My mum seem receptive of her as an "OMOLUABI" but my dad ......hmmmn Undecisive, U no men and their ways ...She got to meet my parents and siblings On our convocation day and since then shes been checking once a while and all,just like I have very good rapor with her mum.


Genngeenn.....Then Late 2016 she mentioned travelling abroad for masters, she has been working a while. I liked the idea even thought there and then I felt waaoooo...its gonna be a diff ball game.Anywz , I encouraged her, supported her sef, remembering Closing my account to buy her a pair of White Nike Trainers.....such as I av not worn mysef....What men do for love and gave her on the night before her dparture .
She left may 2017 and I was with mixed feelings, but with the lady I had spent one yr fully with , sch life experience nothwithstandind ,i Felt all will be well.

So I got encourgaged mysef, picked up my cv and started applying, recently I got anther job , almost twice of my previous pay....I felt am begining to be in shape for this my girl....cos looking at her background, we are leagues apart though we met at a top rated private university, But then this girl has been like a queen, character, beauty, homely, she can cook for the middle east.....lol, godly, there were many times she helped my sexual moods and all, can go on and this is the reason why I treated her so highly, I built my life practically around her....


She relocated and almost immediately things changed....she kept a distance and we werent i comm, it took me a while to realize that I was been too greedy , I mean she just relocated for study, she will need time to settle, register, no her ways around and all. When I got this, I gave her time and really she came around. comm was alot better, we began chatting more, calling , even vedio....I then was able to assist her in some of her assignments.......


But lately , In the past One month, what used to be a source of joy to me, is begining to be a source of worry.......
We quarell now more often than not at lttle things
she abuses me by disrespecting me ,,the ladies mght not fully grasp this......She ignores
she determines when we talk and when she leaves....
she no longer conects , that chemistry is lacking , thou we talk, we dont communicate
she doesnt rely my sexual words like geting all dirty and all
there is alwz an excuse for anyting
she doesnt make explanatins except asked..
I gave my sis and mum her Uk no to call her and check up on her, she ignores my sis and mums call
She can shout at you, what sm ple can nagging,
So many , can go on and on



I tried talking to her once and telling her how I felt, she poured it out on me, not seeing any fault on her part....I have seen my self suffering so much and am wandering, is this the dead end or just another phase...I have thought a break up with her times over even though i still care , but am wandering may be Its me, misinterpreting, been quick to judge, or may be its me suffering with Low self esteem that , I think am not fit for her, I mean I live a responsible and simple life nd to God be the glory, I have a good job....I have also thought may be painfully its time to move on, our lifes have taken diff courses, but then i ask , is that a reason to just jettison 6 lovely yrs of being with her, maybe shes found a new attention ova dia, i HAVE PRAYED PRAYED PRAYED for those who will say go and pray, I have, there as even one night recently I thought to whine God, I said. " God if you can just speak to me in my dreams tonyt about who this girl really is before i take a decision , I will speak to -- no of persons about who Good a God you are" Am sure God was laughing at me , COs i woke up miserable feeling and hearing nothing, But i will still persist, I have an idea he rewards those who seek him diligently....If I can get that Info, then I know My problem is solved....but in the interim PROFESSIONAL ADVICE ON WHAT I SHOULD DO PLS.........
Thanks for those who read through.....