austyn0:

Straight up baby!

Tired of reading about these whining ninjas who are in relationships with kids.

Dipsie:


Thank you, a jobless man shouldn't have a shelter over his head.
Thanks anyways

Yahoo is not a job my friend!! what kind of job do you do indoor all day when your girl friend is at work?

Randy100:
Since you ended the relationship, be a man and stand by it.

I understand this guy he jst threatened her normal jst to bring her senses back "always wrong to shall" but the girl is already gone. Wen a girl is gone she'z gone there's nothn anyone can do about it na so women life dey. ( women dey like toddler wen be sey if u deh try tell dem sey dont torch is fire u wud get burnt, u jst dey waste ur time until the fire go burn am ehen that way the pikin nor need advice).. she jst dey find reason to dey do waitn she want probably this was an opportunity. Relax and watch if only u get mind ooh this one she's the source of ur joy is crazy.

islandmoon:


Yahoo is not a job my friend!! what kind of job do you do indoor all day when your girl friend is at work?

Bros I never stated been indoor all day.
I am a young man working to earn my living too.
She leaves before me in the morning because her office is much farther than mine

When it comes to relationship, men esp working men holds the key but they have to realise the power they have to be effective! In Nigeria today at least 5million women are single and available and of these 5million, 1 million are good women so what the hell are you stuck with one ungrateful bitzh for?
Nobody is indispensable and in choosing a marriageable partner, choose the one that gives you peace of mind else you'll die before your time! Do not choose any damn ditzh that will make you rich, no! Peace of mind is the first criteria and others good things will be added!

Oyindidi:
Thanks sweetheart.

How is your day going?

Quite well.. Thanks

Dipsie:

Bros I never stated been indoor all day.
I am a young man working to earn my living too.
She leaves before me in the morning because her office is much farther than mine

oh okay! kill her with sex and she will run! in the kitchen, toilet , even when she's eating, she will get the message and run

Dipsie:


Thank you bro, I admit I've messed up too.
Money truly brings out their real behaviors, all these wasn't there when she was entirely dependent on me for her whole financing

Don't let these nairalanders men who probably just got duped by some girl out there fool you or give you advice relating to their own personal issues. I like how you were able to point out the fact that you messed up, as people rarely do that... they try to play victims all the time. Truth is, you are the genesis of this whole emotional wreck, as you never showed seriousness in the relationship judging from your post. Truth is, she was fast like very fast... Something most of us wished we did when we saw the signs. I guess she loves her heart too much to accommodate any kind of heart break so she had to bolt out to prevent future heart wahala.

What you need to do if you truly love this girl is to work on your trust issues by gaining her trust back as you've really messed that up. No lady needs a man who flirts about online, openly at that...shows you got no respect for her and she means nothing to you... If you could do such publicly, then your private dealings should be really really scary.

I think you need to apologize and gain her trust back, hopefully this isn't too late.

OKOATA:
I wanted to abuse you but I know that feeling when you are in love with a hoe. You are to blame for all this, You are too open minded to a woman and that's what killing you. Must you tell a woman that your work mate came visiting? Tell her to pack out to be with her new guy. She's staying in your home and you are condoning this. Bro you are a weakling I swear. You should be in control, don't beg a woman. Woman will always take advantage of you when you beg them in situations like this. Women like men that are in control. Be in control of your relationship and please what's with the I haven't cheated on her for the past 3 years. So you mean you never see girls for instamessage, stop dulling yourself Mr

Ode ni Bobo yen

Follow Ubunja and read his threads so you will learn the tricks on how to handle your woman, you refused. Everyday you come here to whine like a sissy.. Grow some damn balls and send her away to go live with the person always picking her up. Don’t allow anyone to be the source of your happiness, you alone should be the source of your own happiness. Gather some balls and tell her your rules and regulations, tell her that lots of ladies and on queue to take her position if she is not ready to abide by your rules. Get another girl by the side as a buffer because this ladies are unpredictable.

Dipsie:


How did I easily jump into conclusion?
Yes she is, it was only last night I confronted her.
I'm waiting to see her next move concerning staying with me.
Thanks for your response

The "lifter" is already making plans to secure a place for her.....
Is she worth the trouble for you?
Na your choice sir, over to you.

MissRaine69:

Tired of reading about these whining ninjas who are in relationships with kids.

Kids isn't really the word to use here, even adults make mistakes.
Thing is, some men fail to understand what is needed from them to make their woman stay on and true.

THEY SAY PIKIN WEN DEY FIND CRY, U NOR NID TO BEAT AM 1ST B4 E GO CRY. WERE U NT D 1 DAT TOLD DAT UR COLLEAGUE IS AROUND. SO because U HAD A VISITOR DAT SHE DONT LIKE IS ENUF REASON 4 HER TO TURN INTO RUNS GIRL? SHE HAS MADE UP HER MIND TO LEAVE U EVEN B4 D VISIT, SHE IS JUST HOLDING UNTO DAT. DATS HW WOMEN BEHAVE, WEN THEY FEEL THEY RE HIGHER DAN UR LEAGUE. JUST XPLAIN UNCOMFORTABLE U RE WIT D WHOLE ISSUE, IF SHE DNT ADJUST DEN GIVE SOME SPACE, BT MAKE HER KNW SHE IS D COST

Dipsie:


Thank you, a jobless man shouldn't have a shelter over his head.
Thanks anyways

Chai,see as love make you gentle.person insult you and you just dey say thank you..this thing called love

austyn0:
Kids isn't really the word to use here, even adults make mistakes.
Thing is, some men fail to understand what is needed from them to make their woman stay on and true.

Thank you my brother.
Mistakes happen, no one is a master of it all

BecaciaBarbie:

Don't let these nairalanders men who probably just got duped by some girl out there fool you or give you advice relating to their own personal issues. I like how you were able to point out the fact that you messed up, as people rarely do that... they try to play victims all the time. Truth is, you are the genesis of this whole emotional wreck, as you never showed seriousness in the relationship judging from your post. Truth is, she was fast like very fast... Something most of us wished we did when we saw the signs. I guess she loves her heart too much to accommodate any kind of heart break so she had to bolt out to prevent future heart wahala.

What you need to do if you truly love this girl is to work on your trust issues by gaining her trust back as you've really messed that up. No lady needs a man who flirts about online, openly at that...shows you got no respect for her and she means nothing to you... If you could do such publicly, then your private dealings should be really really scary.

I think you need to apologize and gain her trust back, hopefully this isn't too late.

didn't you read the part where he begged for 6days? The girl is just using the college thing to abandon the ship. As a lady you should know better that you don't force love, It's pretty clear the girl isn't into him anymore so why continue begging like a sissy. Only a weakling and a sissy will keep begging a Hoe.

OKOATA:
didn't you read the part where he begged for 6days? The girl is just using the college thing to abandon the ship. As a lady you should know better that you don't force love, It's pretty clear the girl isn't into him anymore so why continue begging like a sissy. Only a weakling and a sissy will keep begging a Hoe.

Oh well, some ladies can't handle men who display any slight chance of unfaithfulness. She obviously feels op is cheating on her after those 2 acts which I believe are strong reasons to be suspicious. I mean put yourself in her shoes...how would you feel if you found out the woman you love is flirting online and acting single? I wouldn't take such person serious anymore... It's just what it is... It's possible he hasn't cheated on her but if the opportunity showcased itself in full effect, I wouldn't trust op's loyalty.

Dipsie:


Thanks for your response, I'm aware i made mistakes in the first place which i apologised for severally.
In case of my colleague, anytime i mention that lady to her hearing she never appeared comfortable at all as a matter of fact i didn't tell her about the colleagues visit willingly. Something's led to me having to tell her.
Secondly the comment i made reeked of sarcasm, i apologised so much after this didn't turn out well either.
After several apologies, going out to still make her own revengeful moves was just so weakening.
I would work to fix this present mess, thank you.

Don't always apologize pls. It's neva a man's traits. U called up wot u are getting. She nw take u for granted cos on her mind. "He will always apologize". U hv to man up an take charge of urself and relationship. Be the one calling the shots not her. The girl I'm dating is a typical of ur gf. But trust me, I manipulated her into submission. Be the " I don't give a hoot" type of a guy, then come bk and thank me later. Make her choose between u and d guy, cos no guy comes close to a lady for nothing.

Dipsie:
Hello Guys,
I had to create a new account to discuss this topic with you.
I have a lady I have dated for 3years now.

The past few months especially has been challenging.
She got a job sometime in August last year and had to move in to my apartment here in Lagos, she had just finished her master’s degree then at University of Ibadan. She stayed at my place from August until December when she quit the job.

For almost the whole of January she was at her family house at ibadan, during that period a female colleague came visiting at my place just after work that evening. I initially didn’t inform my girlfriend about it because I knew she didn’t always feel comfortable with that Lady. While the lady was around, my girlfriend called and later got to know that she came to visit that evening. I have never cheated on my girlfriend since we started dating, she was angry and all that and promised to pay me back or so because of my colleagues visit.

As fate would have it, my girlfriend got another job in Lagos again so automatically she moved in again, I apologized profusely about the other incident of my female colleague coming over and not informing her prior to the visit.
Something else happened few weeks later again, I was on Instagram one evening when I saw an old time friends comment on Bellanaija about getting a best friend to love etc. My playful self, I dropped a sarcastic message on her comment that I was available. My girlfriend was able to see my message because she one way also saw the Bellanaija post on her Instagram. Heaven almost fell, I apologized for about 6 days before she finally pretended the situation was over.
The following week she got back from work and confessed that she had an impromptu date with one of her old time toasters. I was initially pissed off then later calmed down.
But the whole game changer was this last week, while going to work she met a guy who gave her a lift to her office area. Since then they’ve been chatting late nights and he also calls her early in the morning so they arrange where to meet.
Due to my suspicions, I one way gained access to her phone while she slept and actually realized this guy has been picking her up every morning to work at our bus stop and to the extent she’s even been sending him her pictures at work. She actually lied to me she hasn’t followed the guy since the very first day he gave her a ride. She’s been lying a lot to me since this guy came into the picture.
I Challenged her last night and she couldn’t defend herself neither could she give a reason why she lied to me, she only made reference to me breaching the trust she had in me by that Instagram message and then​ my colleagues visit.
Out of anger I spoke already and told her I wasn’t interested in the relationship anymore if this was how it was going to continue. The guy already called her this morning again and she has joined him at the bus stop to go to work again.

P.S.
I have never cheated on this lady for the past 3 years we’ve dated.
I virtually gave her the key to my happiness.
She’s also been in contact with her ex which she broke up with before we started dating for the past 3 years.
Even when we used to have issues in the past, she hardly apologizes genuinely or deeply as I do.
What do you advise?
Sorry for the epistle, thanks for your advise

i would blame you, you are at fault. It is easy for us to judge when it is a one sided thing. Let her bring her own epistle you would also see her own side. She doesn't trust you anymore thats the truth. She is just managing you, it is just a matter of time before she dumps you. Her interest is now with the other guy. How do we believe you never slept with your colleague? Who would believe that two adults would be alone in the house and nothing would happen? Why would you publicly tell someone that you are available? My guy you are at fault. The relationship would never be the same again.

UyaiIncomparabl:


You're welcome.

beauty I miss u a lot

Bossjakande:
beauty I miss u a lot

Jaks Jaks. Where've you been?

UyaiIncomparabl:


Jaks Jaks. Where've you been?

am on ban dear one animal make dem ban me cos I attack her in politics rooms

Op u said u will handle the issue..pls come back and tell us how it went....

BecaciaBarbie:

Don't let these nairalanders men who probably just got duped by some girl out there fool you or give you advice relating to their own personal issues. I like how you were able to point out the fact that you messed up, as people rarely do that... they try to play victims all the time. Truth is, you are the genesis of this whole emotional wreck, as you never showed seriousness in the relationship judging from your post. Truth is, she was fast like very fast... Something most of us wished we did when we saw the signs. I guess she loves her heart too much to accommodate any kind of heart break so she had to bolt out to prevent future heart wahala.

What you need to do if you truly love this girl is to work on your trust issues by gaining her trust back as you've really messed that up. No lady needs a man who flirts about online, openly at that...shows you got no respect for her and she means nothing to you... If you could do such publicly, then your private dealings should be really really scary.

I think you need to apologize and gain her trust back, hopefully this isn't too late.

Thank you, we are back on track and she has cleared up the air concerning my worries

arki:


Don't always apologize pls. It's neva a man's traits. U called up wot u are getting. She nw take u for granted cos on her mind. "He will always apologize". U hv to man up an take charge of urself and relationship. Be the one calling the shots not her. The girl I'm dating is a typical of ur gf. But trust me, I manipulated her into submission. Be the " I don't give a hoot" type of a guy, then come bk and thank me later. Make her choose between u and d guy, cos no guy comes close to a lady for nothing.

Thanks for your honest advise, she has cleared the air and we are back now. Definitely i've picked up a few lessons along the line.
Thanks

CyberWolf:
Follow Ubunja and read his threads so you will learn the tricks on how to handle your woman, you refused. Everyday you come here to whine like a sissy.. Grow some damn balls and send her away to go live with the person always picking her up. Don’t allow anyone to be the source of your happiness, you alone should be the source of your own happiness. Gather some balls and tell her your rules and regulations, tell her that lots of ladies and on queue to take her position if she is not ready to abide by your rules. Get another girl by the side as a buffer because this ladies are unpredictable.

Thanks bro...Ubunja here i come

Update:
Hello guys, thanks for your contributions.
I definitely learnt a lot from each and everyone's advise.
Things are much better between us now.
I personally took things a bit too extra by the way i approached the matter prior to coming over here to seek advise, my approach made a resolution quite difficult initially.
She has cleared the air and actually said she lied to me severally last week concerning issues involving the lifter(other guy) because she knew i was going to react badly which she was desperately trying to avoid.
She has apologized and also cut him off.
I'm thankful for your comments and I've picked up lessons and how to avoid such occurrence again

Dipsie:

Thank you, we are back on track and she has cleared up the air concerning my worries

Thank God, I'm so happy for you...now start acting like a serious man....all the very best.

Dipsie:
Hello Guys,
I had to create a new account to discuss this topic with you.
I have a lady I have dated for 3years now.

The past few months especially has been challenging.
She got a job sometime in August last year and had to move in to my apartment here in Lagos, she had just finished her master’s degree then at University of Ibadan. She stayed at my place from August until December when she quit the job.

For almost the whole of January she was at her family house at ibadan, during that period a female colleague came visiting at my place just after work that evening. I initially didn’t inform my girlfriend about it because I knew she didn’t always feel comfortable with that Lady. While the lady was around, my girlfriend called and later got to know that she came to visit that evening. I have never cheated on my girlfriend since we started dating, she was angry and all that and promised to pay me back or so because of my colleagues visit.

As fate would have it, my girlfriend got another job in Lagos again so automatically she moved in again, I apologized profusely about the other incident of my female colleague coming over and not informing her prior to the visit.
Something else happened few weeks later again, I was on Instagram one evening when I saw an old time friends comment on Bellanaija about getting a best friend to love etc. My playful self, I dropped a sarcastic message on her comment that I was available. My girlfriend was able to see my message because she one way also saw the Bellanaija post on her Instagram. Heaven almost fell, I apologized for about 6 days before she finally pretended the situation was over.
The following week she got back from work and confessed that she had an impromptu date with one of her old time toasters. I was initially pissed off then later calmed down.
But the whole game changer was this last week, while going to work she met a guy who gave her a lift to her office area. Since then they’ve been chatting late nights and he also calls her early in the morning so they arrange where to meet.
Due to my suspicions, I one way gained access to her phone while she slept and actually realized this guy has been picking her up every morning to work at our bus stop and to the extent she’s even been sending him her pictures at work. She actually lied to me she hasn’t followed the guy since the very first day he gave her a ride. She’s been lying a lot to me since this guy came into the picture.
I Challenged her last night and she couldn’t defend herself neither could she give a reason why she lied to me, she only made reference to me breaching the trust she had in me by that Instagram message and then​ my colleagues visit.
Out of anger I spoke already and told her I wasn’t interested in the relationship anymore if this was how it was going to continue. The guy already called her this morning again and she has joined him at the bus stop to go to work again.

P.S.
I have never cheated on this lady for the past 3 years we’ve dated.
I virtually gave her the key to my happiness.
She’s also been in contact with her ex which she broke up with before we started dating for the past 3 years.
Even when we used to have issues in the past, she hardly apologizes genuinely or deeply as I do.
What do you advise?
Sorry for the epistle, thanks for your advise

First..............Never Co-habit with a lady you intend to marry, I mean why make you both lose value for each other. Co-habiting indefinitely wasnt the best choice cos she secured a job, Didnt she have friends, I mean there were alternatives to explore.

Second..........She had a right to suspect your infidelity cos she had been wth you to the other room a couple times...Her actions afterwards are . a show of her been Jealous and insecure with the emotion of suspecting ur infidelity...You shot ursef in the leg telling her.,

Third............Never make a woman ur nt married to, the centre of your hapiness cos they wil defnitiely ruin it couple times, even when married
. take time to conceal and display wth wisdom. they thrive in that atmosphere more than outlandish love , sort of..

Fourth..........Be patient, if you truly love her, wait for her to come around, they twitch once a wyle esp when situations warrant it and there are
. ready distractions to help to. Dont be in a hurry next time to give up except u av really thought abt it and made up your mind, if
. thats the case, am sure you wont be here. Find a way to talk to her, make up, do everything to earn her trust again, if shes a good
girl like the guy that you are, she will see reasons to flip out soon and embrace your love again. That dude giving her a recent lift
to work,most likely is there to just pass time and shes making you feel the bit of the emotions shes going tru too, Provided she
loves you and if she doesnt and so having done all deosent respond, Bros just take it that you have been building ur castle in
the air..as they say ''Bad Market". be grateful you discovered her true self before marriage, embrace it and move on.
you lld find the right person in time

Dipsie:
Update:
Hello guys, thanks for your contributions.
I definitely learnt a lot from each and everyone's advise.
Things are much better between us now.
I personally took things a bit too extra by the way i approached the matter prior to coming over here to seek advise, my approach made a resolution quite difficult initially.
She has cleared the air and actually said she lied to me severally last week concerning issues involving the lifter(other guy) because she knew i was going to react badly which she was desperately trying to avoid.
She has apologized and also cut him off.
I'm thankful for your comments and I've picked up lessons and how to avoid such occurrence again

Very good, I’m happy for you. But notwithstanding, keep an eye on her because women are hypergamous in nature. If you observe any strange behavior, you confront her and demand a satisfactory answer. If she tries to avoid any of your questions, then that’s a red flag.

why are you so pained that some9ne drops her off at work everyday, and the person probably also goes to work in the same area as she does?
Why should she pick trekking and jumping buses when someone has offered to drop her on his own way to the office?
Why are you suspecting their friendship isn't platonic? Is she also right suspecting your friendship with your collegue (who you see daily) is not also platonic?
She is saving herself from the stress of jumping buses in Lagos, and also saving transport costs. That doesn't translate there's an affair going on pls