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Business / Re: SIM Card: Trader Gives DSS 24 Hours To Pay N10m Damages by Donald3d(m): 6:30pm On May 21, 2020
grin
Programming / Re: Help Am Trying To Install Python On My Window Os,it Keeps Giving Error! by Donald3d(m): 4:10pm On May 21, 2020
DO you have jdk aka JAVA installed ?
Family / Re: Nigeria Family Where Husband, Wife And Children Celebrate Birthday The Same Day by Donald3d(m): 10:57pm On May 20, 2020
Cool
Thank God for your lives.
Family / Re: Whats The Function Of The SHARE Button In Nairaland by Donald3d(m): 8:45pm On May 20, 2020
chii8:



Daddy, you are really old oooo to know all the details. tongue tongue tongue

grin grin grin
Family / Re: Whats The Function Of The SHARE Button In Nairaland by Donald3d(m): 7:20pm On May 20, 2020
CanadaOrBust:


Thanks, and what is the meaning of “YIM” in the profile page

I think it means Yahoo Instant Messenger , there was a time it was popular.

1 Like

Sports / Re: Ekpe Udoh Celebrates His 33rd Birthday Today by Donald3d(m): 8:29am On May 20, 2020
shocked shocked
Romance / Re: Couples Celebrate 15 Years Wedding Anniversary With Their 11children by Donald3d(m): 7:45am On May 20, 2020
grin

Programming / Re: Help A Would-be Programmer Please. by Donald3d(m): 1:58am On May 20, 2020
Raustin

The charge depends on what you currently know and what I would be teaching you.

1 Like

Family / Re: Why You Will Surely Lose Your Husband To A Good Cook by Donald3d(m): 1:31am On May 20, 2020
Beosten:



There is only one female among my siblings. But mom was the one that usually cooked our meals. Whenever mom wasn't around, and I just felt like cooking, mom would know I cooked the meals, and would ask why my sister couldn't cook better than I do despite learning from Mom for years.

There was one food seller in my street during my formative years, If you miraculously bring a food cooked by that woman to me today, I will tell you instinctively that 'Iya Dare' is the one that prepared it.

My Conclusion: cooking skills may be inborn. It may also be learned.

Inborn ? No, I doubt it
Like any learn-able skill, easier for some people to master ?. Yes

3 Likes

Family / Re: Why You Will Surely Lose Your Husband To A Good Cook by Donald3d(m): 11:47pm On May 19, 2020
Nobody was born with cooking skills inbuilt into their brains.
If a man marries a wife who doesn't know how to cook, he should teach her.
If he doesn't know how to cook, then he isn't better than her.
Both the man and woman should learn how to cook, there are tutorials all over the internet.

It would take anywhere between 1 month to 3 or 4 months for any willing person to learn how to cook.

You can't teach a person good morals and values in that time frame.

Cooking skills are important, but there are other more important features a woman should have .

Cooking skills can be learnt in a short time. Psychological, mental, moral and behavioral values would take years in some cases to master .

8 Likes

Romance / Re: Anita & Jide: Man Who Earns ₦15m Asks His Fiancee Who Earns ₦42m To Quit Her Job by Donald3d(m): 6:23pm On May 19, 2020
gbagyiza:


It depends on the woman. If she is a humble type, the type that accord respect n also submit to her husband, the husband should not let her resign, they just need to discuss n find a suitable solution to this. But if the woman is the type that look down on the husband, n see him as nothing, in fact some will even try to take the position of the husband as the head of the house just because she earns more than him, I tell you he is in trouble because she can even seek for divorce if the husband ask her to resign.

Yeah, that's why I said this :

Jide, move to Lagos and be with your wife, as long as you know and you are sure, at least, sure enough, that she isn't a proud person
Romance / Re: Anita & Jide: Man Who Earns ₦15m Asks His Fiancee Who Earns ₦42m To Quit Her Job by Donald3d(m): 5:24pm On May 19, 2020
omoyankee3:


Financial power in the hands of the wife? That's the beginning of the end of the marriage.

How is the financial power in the hands of his wife na..He isn't losing his job, he is just getting transferred .
Maybe because the money looks big that's why we are seeing it this way. Let's scale it down

What if you are already married and your wife gets a new job paying her 420k, while you earn 150k. Would you tell her to resign ?

7 Likes

Romance / Re: Anita & Jide: Man Who Earns ₦15m Asks His Fiancee Who Earns ₦42m To Quit Her Job by Donald3d(m): 4:50pm On May 19, 2020
grin grin

In marriage, or in this case proposed marriage, compromise is key.
Couples need to start seeing themselves as team players, treating the relationship and marriage as a business.
Whichever decision is the best for the team, in the long run, should be the best decision .

Ask yourself, if you were running a business and you have an option of getting an investor of 42 or 15m, which would you take ?

Its not like he is losing his job, he is just getting transferred, all he has to do is "measure up" in other areas of the marriage.

Jide, move to Lagos and be with your wife, as long as you know and you are sure, at least, sure enough, that she isn't a proud person.

Men should stop feeling intimidated by women.


In this case, its not like he is broke, poor or jobless. This is just plain ego and "what would people say"

One of the best ways to succeed in anything, especially marriage is ignoring what people would say.

Marriage shouldn't be a battle field of who is better, but it should be a place where winning and improvement should be the priority.

In the long run, what matters in marriage is that you have more wins than loses.


EDIT :

I can see some people quoting me grin grin grin
If you feel intimated by a woman earning more than you, then mutual respect really doesn't exist and you are basing your control of your home solely on your financial power.

I am not saying a man should not earn money and take care of his family .

But have you every asked yourself, why some women married to wealthy men who take care of all their needs still cheat on them ?

Money isn't everything, there are so many other aspects of marriage besides money.

In this case its funny, because the man isn't even broke at all. He is wealthy, at least by Nigerian standards.

Na wa for una

Make una sha follow me for twitter
www.twitter.com/NaijaSteveJobs

228 Likes 16 Shares

Programming / Re: Help A Would-be Programmer Please. by Donald3d(m): 1:35pm On May 19, 2020
lizdammy:
Hello Great Programmers.

I am a would-be Programmer. My primary target is to learn how to make book apps.

I am asking for help for tools I need to use in converting a book into an app to be uploaded to Google Play Store.

Please assist with relevant information.

Thank you
What format is the book in ?
How many pages is it ?
I can help for an affordable price , depending on the details above.

1 Like

Family / Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by Donald3d(m): 9:27pm On May 18, 2020
shocked
Family / Re: Reply As A Nigerian Mother by Donald3d(m): 8:35pm On May 18, 2020
grin grin

8 Likes 1 Share

Technology Market / Re: Sold: UK Used Macbook Pro Core I5 16gig, 500gig HDD by Donald3d(m): 7:58pm On May 18, 2020
How much
Please post a clearer picture of the charge cycle

1 Like

Family / Re: Please I Really Need Your Advice On This by Donald3d(m): 6:50pm On May 18, 2020
elektra:
Oga,

You already know the solution to your problem but you are not willing act on it. Even if we talk on nairaland from today till tomorrow, so will still not act until you are ready.

But for now, start practicing how to say NO. Use mirror, look yourself in the eye, say NO and maintain eye contact. Practice many times. NO, NO, NO!
NO is a complete sentence, no need for further explanation. And Nigerians need to learn how to say NO, especially to their family members.

When you are ready to take action. Give your sister date that her load will be taken out of your house (I recommend short time interval like 2 weeks). She will shout and complain and insult. Just keep saying NO. Any further requests to assist them in a way that impedes your own progress, what will you say? NO.
When the 2 weeks reach, what will you do? You will not chicken out. Repeat after me, I WILL NOT CHICKEN OUT. If you like, chicken out. You will continue to live with load someone else’s load.

From your story it appears your parents are also contributing to this menace. You can use this experience to learn more on how to deal with narcissistic, parasitic, Oliver-twistic and choosing-beggar family members.

1 Like

Technology Market / Re: sold>>>40 Pieces Of Brand New 500gb Hard Drive For Sale In Lagos <<<sold by Donald3d(m): 6:33pm On May 18, 2020
How much for a unit ?
Family / Re: Photo Frame Drawing By Artist Near Me by Donald3d(m): 3:15pm On May 18, 2020
shocked
Science/Technology / Re: The Cobra I Killed Behind My House Last Night by Donald3d(m): 12:38pm On May 18, 2020
You're lucky
That's a cobra !!!

Cobra Fact :

A group of cobra is called a quiver.

23 Likes 4 Shares

Celebrities / Re: Omotola Jalade-ekeinde Celebrates 25th Year In Entertainment by Donald3d(m): 12:03pm On May 18, 2020
grin grin grin Is that not Stella Damascus grin grin grin

When women were girls grin grin grin grin

14 Likes

Family / Re: Am An Introvert And I Get Angry Easily by Donald3d(m): 12:59am On May 18, 2020
[quote author=EM123 post=89662369][/quote]
You're welcome. cool
Family / Re: Please I Really Need Your Advice On This by Donald3d(m): 12:14am On May 18, 2020
grin

Family, the Achilles heel of most people.

As I always say, don't start what you can't finish.

You need to stop being relaxed with this your line :

I explained all to my partner,she would always accept what i do.She doesnt argue anything with me

I am sorry but if you keep going at this pace, one day your wife to be, would wake up and tell you she is no longer interested.

Not because she doesn't love you, but because she would think and imagine this happening when she gets married to you.

This is the time to think of yourself too, not just for your partner, but for yourself.

It would hurt your sister, and your parents, but you need to move forward. You can't do that effectively if you keep draining yourself for them.

Build yourself, and when you get comfortable enough, you can help.
Because if you keep giving away almost all you have you would remain on the same spot. Its bad for you, and also bad for the people you think you are helping.

I know hard times and life happens to people and you should help and sacrifice for family when you can, but when it becomes a constant occurrence, you would not move forward, because you are draining yourself.

Let's use a drum and a bucket as an example. The drum is under a tap and you keep using the bucket to scoop from the drum to fill a leaking tank, without stopping, it would take you a long time to fill your drum and you may never fill it until you do what is right .

So what should you do ? Stop scooping water from your drum allow it to fill up ! , help mend the tank, and you might not even need to give water anymore to fill the tank.

Interpretation ?
Sit your sister and if possible her husband down and talk to them, make them understand the effect of their demands on you and your life, say it as politely as possible.

Ask them what their plans for revenue generation or job is , support them financially if you can to sponsor their revenue generation method, and make it clear that, in a long time, that's the last they would get from you, support them with prayers too.
Give them some time to stabilize so they can pack their stuff, and give them a time frame and be strict with it, don't let emotions move you.(This should mend the tank)
If they have no plans, give them ideas on what to do to generate funds for themselves. If they still don't take it seriously, then its not your fault, you have tried your best.

Now focus fully on yourself, build your business, build your relationship, GROW , (you are filling your drum without taking anything out of it)

Just be ready, because they would blame your partner for all your actions and tell you that you have changed .But keep reminding them that its your decision and you also need to find your feet and build your foundation. If you use all your resources to take care of them, who would take care of you ?

Its a hard decision to take, but you have to take it, you and even the people you are trying to please would enjoy it later, when you start "balling", because you invested in yourself !. You think the people who say its not easy to be a man were just talking ? Its the greatest and toughest part of being a man. DECISIONS. Once you conquer it effectively and handle it with wisdom, you can handle anything . Welcome to manhood !

Nigerian families need to understand that just because you are blood relations with someone doesn't mean you should drain them.
The people you are draining have a life too, they have needs, they have goals to achieve, sometimes they get broke too just to see you happy.
If you ask for help and they give you fine !, if they don't , don't make them feel guilty for it, they don't owe you anything !.

18 Likes

Family / Re: Why Do Women In The West Still Say They Do Not Have True Equality? by Donald3d(m): 8:29pm On May 17, 2020
doitforyou:

No, I don’t get your point.

Are you saying because you think pregnant women can’t handle being on site so women shouldn’t be employed as engineers? So they shouldn’t be hired because of their sex?

If you had a company would you hire a female engineer?

I would most definitely employ a female engineer, if she has the qualifications.

But I wouldn't hesitate to place her on compulsory leave once its discovered that she is pregnant, or I would move her to the office and keep her away from the field.

I never said female engineers should not be hired.

Have you seen a pregnant woman bending down to carry something before ? She has to bend "with her side"

Now imagine a pregnant woman lifting a bag of cement or a 30-50kg object.

They are some jobs where efficiency can't be gambled with.

2 Likes

Politics / Re: Have You Collected Your NIMC Card? by Donald3d(m): 8:23pm On May 17, 2020
grin grin Guys should we tell him ?

Follow me on Twitter wink : www.twitter.com/NaijaSteveJobs

49 Likes 3 Shares

Family / Re: Why Do Women In The West Still Say They Do Not Have True Equality? by Donald3d(m): 8:03pm On May 17, 2020
doitforyou:

You’re a feminist then you should know the bolded doesn’t align with the core definition of feminism. There shouldn’t be any restriction or condition that would prevent equal access and opportunities.

A woman shouldn’t be denied a job because of an implicit bias (women are limited by pregnancy) 1. Not all women want children; 2. Not all pregnant women are too ‘weak’ to do their job.

OP, as long as there are men/women that believe women shouldn’t have equal access to opportunities and deny women their freedom of choice, feminism will always be needed. It’s one thing for laws to be passed, it’s another for them to be enforced. There are sexist people in positions of power and authority positioned to enforce those laws or not based on their bias. Also, every law has loopholes that can make discrimination perfectly legal, these are taken advantage of by sexist people. It’s a constant battle to call out discrimination, prosecute/sue the perpetuators and continue to fight for laws to close those loopholes.

Let's be reasonable ma'am
Its not safe for a pregnant woman to be on a construction or engineering site (if you are an engineer or if you have ever been to a site, you would understand what I am saying), its not safe for her and everyone involved. These are the limits I was talking about.Its not because she is a woman, its because she isn't fully fit to do the job.

Even if she is just a supervisor, it still not advisable. For example if a machine/vehicle operator loses control, how fast can she run ?. So, her being a woman has nothing to do with this, but her condition.

Its like saying a man who has boil under his armpit or on his hand (for example), should be aloud to operate a cutting machine. Its not safe. He is "compromised".

Engineering environments are not places where one can "gamble" and assume the person can handle it.

I am not sure how it works in the medical field, but I am guessing a physically pregnant surgeon would not be allowed to operate on someone's brain. Someone else would have to take her place, whether another woman or a man. So should we demand for equal rights because she was relieved of her job ?

I hope you get my point now.

5 Likes

Family / Re: Am An Introvert And I Get Angry Easily by Donald3d(m): 6:49pm On May 17, 2020
EM123:
physical violence

Please give more details, if you can.

As someone said above, avoid the triggers. But in your case I also understand your anger when people are taken for granted or injustice is carried out.

But, you have to understand that your actions would not make things better, just because you have a reason for doing it. The people who carry out injustice also have strong convictions or reasons why they do what they do.

So, I want you to gradually train yourself, renew your mind.

Understand and remember always that there is always a good and diplomatic way to solve even the worst problems

At that instant where your temper is rising, its advisable to leave the scene, take a walk, clear your head.

The only time your physical violence is "ok" , is when the person you are fighting for is actually being physically violated, then you can call that defense. But, its still best to avoid confrontation as much as possible, you can take the person away from the scene in this case, or attempt to restrain the abuser instead.

If you are a Christian, invite the Holy Spirit into your your heart and ask God to help you, talk to Him like you are talking to a counselor. It doesn't have to be in the "regular" form of prayer, make it sound like a conversation, He would definitely help you, that I can assure you 100%.Fill your mind with his word (The Bible). But you also have to help yourself by gradually training your mind and exercising restraint to react, one day at a time.

You would be ok cool

1 Like

Family / Re: Why Do Women In The West Still Say They Do Not Have True Equality? by Donald3d(m): 6:22pm On May 17, 2020
Hathor5:


Well, you don't have to be an engineer and pregnant to be in need of a sick leave.

Equality means absence of discrimination, bias and sexism. It means having same opportunities and rights and also freedom.

To be honest, I don't like such threads. They escalate too quickly. I am not even actively dedicated to the cause for different reasons but I don't like to read misinformed comments.

I think you are pretty fair though. smiley

OK ma'am cool

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