₦airaland Forum

mukina2: artetaaa!!!!!

goooaaaal!!!!!!!

Mukina, that arteta goal was luck O! HE doesn't know how to play penalty at all. Muki, u need to contact our Wenger first thing tomorrow morning O! Note that for ur diary pls

MUKINA2, MUKINA2, MUKINA2

Any Link For This Game

Any Link For This Game

Any Link For This Game

Any Link For This Game

Teenage Money: Illitracy gives rrise to poverty... Hw does this your comment concern wat i said

Being able to read and write does nt show u r intelligent... Try to understand b4 u post... Thanks..

Money good O! Chai... Don't worry, God will bless u one day. A monkey living in a duplex... Monkey is a Monkey

Teenage Money: Poverty is a sin...

What is £800,000 to him when he collects close to £400,000 per week

Why u no go shout? Those ur criminals in Nigeria House of Looters no dey theif than that? So why this one con be a suprise to u?
Poverty instrument calling someone poverty..

Rich Dad: See poverty at work. You think say footballers and your yeye politicians Na mate?

See poverty instrucment dey call person poverty.. U think say money na paper or grow on the tree, mumu dondi!

50calibre: £800,000 just on rings? We are speaking of about 200 million naira here, na wah oh! Football is blood money, recession or credit crunch no dey their dictionary.

Don't mind them. Na capital LIE. Drogba cannot spend £800,000 on Ring... Haba, thats N200 Million Naira

@ mod, Its actually obvious that Cindyrella is the winner, except you dob bias

Vicjustice

topsyking: @dotcom na craze na craze
Why is ur topic just making the front page since morning...U dey use ojuju

Because i'm the RULER, you are the Pencil

Akinolore: E be like sey u don dey watch ur papa and mother dey abuse themselves since when u dey small, if not why u come dey halla here as if na curse water den us bath u when born. Ur family generation will never compete with The achievement of Chelsea even if dey go relegation. Bros, kadankada, wayon wayon, die die , small small

Na the two Hi-GOAT wey born u for house u dey follow talk. I follow u talk abi i mention ur name?
Its obvious sey u no get mama & papa for house, if not, u as the little Hi-Goat will not come here open u dirty mouth wey dell smell like owronshoki toilet dey corse person parents. Idiot. I mention ur name or i sent u invitation letter? God purnish ur hand wey u used take type. You dis disable Lizard.. Mtchewwwwwwwww

AmEucharia: You must be a compound FOOL.Must you comment?

But what is wrong with people like you? Wetin he/she talk to deserve 'compound fool''
Must you reply to his comment? Nonsense.. You're the fool..
Someone go dey hin own jeje una go dey look for trouble using touchlight... Fool

Rafael Valadao must have under estimated the size of his body when his attempts to escape jail ended in humiliation – when he got stuck in a hole he helped smash in his cell wall.

Firefighters had to free the 16-stone (approx. 102kg) prisoner when his belly stopped him making his break for freedom.

To make matters worse thereby compounding his embarrassment, prison guards stood round laughing as the operation to release him swung into action.

Authorities were last night hunting for a thinner cell-mate who managed to escape first.

Two other inmates waiting behind Rafael also saw their hopes of freedom thwarted by the unexpected hitch in their escape bid.

The four hatched their escape plan at a jail in Ceres in the central Brazilian state of Goias.

Firefighters stepped in around 2am on Tuesday after the two inmates waiting their turn behind Rafael failed in various attempts to push him through the hole they had made with a metal bar.

He was later taken to hospital under police protection with a suspected broken rib.

A police spokesman said: “He was screaming with pain when help arrived.

“He seemed to have underestimated the size of his stomach.”
http://talkofnaija.com/index.php/component/noticeboard/noticeboard/13802

speeder: is he a yoruba man? Then y are u surprised.

And that means what?

engrfcuksmtin: This boy's case is beyond the knowledge of human medicine, we need to call a vet doctor to attend to him.

I wonder why the need of a monkey in a duplex?
If at all you're a monkey, why the need in a duplex? Whereas forex dey there... Na u go run from this nairaland.
I invite you to comment? trouble maker. I'm here for u ooo...
Na people like you i dey always find here.
Person no go talk to una, una go just begin dey vibrate looking for trouble.
If mod wade into this now again u will be blamed because i no force u comment.
Idiot silly cow
Get a life...

pDude: This news is PhotoShop

People like you should experience such and never give the grace to come back... Mtchewwwwwwwww Nonsense
Everybody thanking God for him, while u open ur stinky mouth like ''iya silifa''

He was murdered. After about seven days of inquiry into his ‘death’, his relatives went to the mortuary with a coffin to take his body but were shocked to find him alive.

Lazarus Oluwafemi Agbolahan Makinde, now an evangelist shares his story.
To hear him, especially through the telephone receiver, you must be determined and very patient. The first time this reporter called him, the impression that initially came through as the voice was barely audible, was that he must have been tired out or had some ailment. It was indeed difficult deciphering the near whisper.

On meeting him, he came through as a very happy man, and the way he carried himself made that obvious. However, speaking with him explained the cause of the piteous voice quality… His throat was slashed; his head smashed and his genitals were severed in a bizarre murder act. But he is alive to tell the story! And to work on the astonishing story he told in Egba variant-tinted Yoruba language made it even more engaging, considering the fact that he had no western education.
Evangelist Makinde’s joy at being alive and able to bear children came through as he struggled to be heard and understood. And this explains his eagerness to tell his story over and over again.
Excerpts:
What Happened?

On the fateful day, two of my journey-men came to me and said they would like to go to my house with me and would sleep in my house. I asked them why and they both said their brothers had visitors. I told them I would not be driving home as I had intended to preach in the bus I would board… I was rounding off a three-day fast. Nevertheless, we went home together.
When we got home, I made three cups of tea and I went out to buy bread so we could eat from the stew my wife had prepared before she travelled. They said they were okay but I insisted. On my way, a neighbour, who is also a member of our church, and my landlord’s wife saw them and asked who my visitors were and I told them they were my co-workers who had come to pass the night in my house.
While I was away, they had added something to my tea and without knowing this I blessed the tea and drank. I passed out. In that state of unconsciousness, they slit my throat with a knife and removed my Adam’s apple, smashed my head so much that my brain could be seen and also cut my genitals. They took my money, locked me in the room and went away, leaving me for dead. And to think that they were my employees I was paying. One of them was Lukman Osunbiyi of Arigbajo near Ifo in Ogun State.
After some days, a foul smell had enveloped our yard and our neighbour’s. A neighbour known as Baba Isaac was the one that raised the issue of what was smelling because my room was adjacent to his. People were searching their rooms to find it. My room is on the way to the conveniences of our compound and our landlord was the one that found out that the smell was coming from my room. He called his wife, Mummy Moji, and asked what could be smelling in my room, ‘has he got dogs?’ The woman said she knew I had no dog. The man said they should send for my relations but they called our church members.
When the church members arrived at the scene, they said they could not break the door. So, they went and fetched my brother who was at Itire-Ijesha, known as Brother Kunle. He was the one that drove to Area G police station at Ogba. The police came, demanded for the duplicate key to my room from the landlord and he told them he could not lay his hands on the spare key. The police broke the door and they found my body in a pool of blood in the room… After four days.
This was late in the night of the fourth day. They took me to Idi Araba (Lagos University Teaching Hospital) and they were told to go and bury me. They went to Island Hospital, I was rejected; they went to Igbobi and they also rejected me there. I was eventually deposited at the Ikeja General Hospital mortuary. On the seventh day after the incident, members of our family went to Ikeja to retrieve my body. They went with a coffin, but the Almighty God had some point to prove. I was stacked with other dead bodies and when they got to me, they saw that I had raised my left hand and was waving it.
There was shouting and commotion at the mortuary. They took me into the hospital for treatment. I noticed that the doctors were confused as to where to start from or what to do. They had cut my throat and severed the oesophagus, my head was wide open while my manhood was dangling. But God raised one of the doctors, a white man named Daniel, through whom my rehabilitation commenced at the Ikeja General Hospital. He was the one who began some repairs of my throat and head. But it was difficult because the throat was gone, it is a cartilage and could hardly be sewn; while my head could sustain nothing and was gushing.
But somehow, he managed to cut an opening though the base of my neck and created a duct through which I was fed and given medicines. Breathing was a huge task, given the wound and the pain. And remember, my genitals were severed and suture was also nearly impossible.
There were lots of plastic holds and bandages on my neck and others… it was a sight to behold. I was later transferred to the ward.
It will interest you to know that while I was there in the ward, God appeared to me on two different occasions and said: “I am the Lord, your God. I have a task which you must accomplish.” After four days in the ward, all the pipes on me were removed by God knows who. Yes, my eyes were open but I could not see. It is needless to say that I could not talk. How and when the pipes were removed, I did not know. I kept hearing a voice telling me: “Am I not your God?” Amid that voice, the plastic and other things on my head were removed. When the nurses and others saw what had happened, there was commotion. They were asking who removed the things. They thought I had died and were confused.
When Dr Daniel arrived, he saw what had happened and exclaimed that he had never seen such a thing before. Eventually, they took me back to the theatre. He tried to replace the pipes and so on.

So, were there arrests after you came back to life?
When the news spread that I had resurrected, one of the persons that killed me committed suicide. The man’s was known as Olumide Timilehin. Lukman Osunbiyi ran away. I was told I could not procreate because my genitals had been severed. Secondly, the doctors also said that my brain was gone and that I would just be kept in a place and be fed and that I would not speak. I was passed as vegetable. It was such a difficult period. But God had some other plans.
One day, as our pastor was walking towards me and I just called out his name… I mean Pastor Oke, who was our pastor then at Christ Freedom Evangelical Ministry. That was the day I regained my voice and began to talk again. It was a great day of joy. In fact, when my mother heard what had happened, she walked to Ikeja, almost naked, to see for herself. Even after that incident, I still remained rooted to a spot, immobile.
While there, I kept hearing the police and the people talk about Lukman. The police asked me if I knew where he lived and I said I knew the place in Mushin. They asked if I could see and I said yes, just put me in the vehicle. When we got to Lukman’s residence at Mushin, we were directed to where he was at play. When we arrived at the place, they crosschecked his face with that in the photograph they had and saw that it was him truly. He attempted to jump over the fence but he was arrested by the policemen and my family members.
They accused him of murder and the matter was taken to court. It was during the hearings in court that Lukman revealed how they came about committing the murder. He spilled the beans, and revealed those who paid them to kill me. He said it was my half-brothers that paid him and Olumide to kill me in my room. There also, one of my brothers admitted that they agreed among themselves, and with Lukman, to just waste me.

Was Lukman jailed or what?

Towards the end of the matter, pointers were that Lukman and others could be sentenced to death as that was the submission of the state which was prosecuting the case. On one of the hearing days, I raised my hand and requested to speak. When I was given the opportunity, I asked that the matter be left for God to judge. I said I wouldn’t want to see them killed by the cause of this case. At some point in the matter, members of the family of Lukman came to my family and offered me N2million then, begging me to forgive their son and spare his life. They came through my relations and expressed disappointment in their son and brother. They were sorry and wanted to compensate me, but I said I did not need the money. I told them that it was God that brought me back to life and I therefore leave everything to Him.

What is your advice to people?

Anyone that has Christ has it all… Anyone that has Christ and believes in Him, and does the will of God. He says we are the temple of God and that He would fight for us. He is that one that fought for me because we are more than conquerors because of He who loves us. That is my story. I didn’t even tell you about my tongue that I bit so hard when I was struggling with death… I almost bit my tongue into two in the struggle for life.
The address is Abeokuta Street at Oke Odo, in Pleasure area. There is a Cherubim and Seraphim Church in front of the place. The people there would tell more than I have because they saw it all.

Source: Nigerian Tribune

http://www.tribune.com.ng/news2013/index.php/en/component/k2/item/555-%E2%80%98i-was-in-mortuary-for-7-days%E2%80%99

engrfcuksmtin: Get well soon m.o.r.o.n

See crazy display
Na me send u to ''JAIL'' ?
Mumu, na my back u go dey watch till the next 2015 u go smell Champions League, and then later join Coca-cola League...
I warned una before sey na borrow Uefa borrow una the cup for few months but you wouldn't listen.. See wetin the cup cost una now...

Freiburger: Any update on what is going on in Ukrane?

All ur noise, so did u now qualify?

That was not a penalty. Chelsea don dey do ojoro

prince_onx: You might wanna go back and read what I said before that laughter turns to madness. She asked for advise then turn around insulting people and what I said was filter the advise and take what works for her and leave the rest instead of running her mouth at people. I also said its my opinion to believe her story, believe who's on her file or not, and also my opinion to call her an attention seeker! Why am I even in this with you poo!

Sharappppp jor, u don't have a point. I know people like u lookin for innocent teenagers to nack akpako and run, now, all because she refuse to allow u to nak akpako, u begin to twist on her head all because she seek advice. Now let me ask u dis question, 'Na by force to comment? Answer? Mumu idiot.. Go sleep jor. Go back from the first comment and see everybody comments, na only ur own different. Na by force to comment? How many people she don insult here? She stated it clearly that she and her hubby don decide to get married before and that what she saw on facebook is just plus. So whats ur problem? You like wahala jor. I know people like u on nairaland that wil switch on their touchlight looking for devil and wahala. Get out and get lost jor. Idiot brainless human....... rubish

You don look for job for many years but to no avail. Someone gave you a cheque of 50 Million Naira and he relocate to abroad with no contact at all. You’re pooing while the Cheque fall inside pit toilet, wetin u go do immediately? And no any hope except you’re only still alive.

Goldieluks: i bet you are jealous/pissed cause she's prettier than your ugly duckling gf right?

lol i can't stop laughing.. You're right jor. The guy is really sick. Wetin concern him.. I suspect he has contacted her maybe junnymercy ignore the guy. She seek advce she did not ask anyone to believe her or not, it is left for u to comment advice or read and just remain silence forever..

Second to comment.... This make front page?

I guess this guy is going on suicide mission by eating ''SOAP'' and a liquid cleaner called ''JIK'' as drink'' ... or what do you think
Somebody advice him
When there is life there is always hope...

chrisawi: I have never traveled before and I wish to visit Ireland, though my company is sponsoring for a two week vacation to any where. Please as a first timer, i need information on hotel reservation, medical issuance and I need other document that can enable me the get the visa, and possibly information on how i can apply.

I dont think u need Medical Insurance for an Irish Visa. Check my post there and follow the instruction there for Irish Visa application. You can get your hotel done here http://www.booking.com/city/ie/dublin.en.html?aid=340631;label=city-dublin-r5l*I3Lds6VMnj5HbIYlEgS14899631625:pl:ta:p1:p2:ac:ap1t1:neg;ws=&gclid=COTSiJ-I_bMCFY-Q4Qod-EUA_Q

Goodluck

3direct: unconfirmed by chelsea

lol

Area_boy: lol. thats the uk version of Onion news?

lol

BREAKING NEWS.. Chelsea Sack Benitez..

Source: http://newsthump.com/2012/11/23/benitez-sacked-after-chelsea-fail-to-make-x-factor-live-shows/

LadyTC: No its not, because the nigerian girls or girls that live in nigeria are usually desperate all they care about is marriage, more than half of them careless abt anything else, apart from finding husband.

I think so