₦airaland Forum

Free101:
I was in J.S.S 3 but I was tapping every girls ass from S.S 2 down to J.S.S 1. Not to forget even their boobs was not left out

Dis ur lie eh,is like saying I trek to America and came back without resting atal for d joni.Bros abeg go meet lier mohamed for beta tutorials

It's funny what people can do for love,i don't mind taking such step when it comes to mine knowing some ex no get joy..Lolz

Pastor: "if anyone doesn't want this couple to be together, speak now or forever hold you're peace". The guy showed his gun to make sure any of his ex at the church will behave herself. *laughs*

It's only God that will judge dis pple we call pastors.May God protect us from some vultures that call dem sefs pastors..Amen

Lady reveals what her friend suffered from a Female Pastor

Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty in this world. Her words below:
"Some crazy things going on in my church right now. I need to share...am still in shock, need to compose myself. I want people to learn from our experience and be careful of pastors. Please I want you to share it without SHOWING my name please.
There’s this church my friend and I just joined, we’ve been going there for a long time [but] just became full members over a year ago, she’s in choir and I ushering department. Its a fast growing church and we’re very close to the pastor. We call about challenges at work and she prays for us. 
My friend is always buying things for her and sowing seed in her life… To cut long story short... A brother in the church courting my friend finally proposed to her and she accepted. He went to inform the pastor and she refused that she’ll never allow him to marry her.. This is a girl she prays for to get a good husband and she’s always announcing to the church that she’s her precious daughter. 
We thought it was a joke, she started calling him at night saying she’s prayed about it, that my friend is not his wife, that she’s not spirituality strong blabla bla, she said all evil things you can think of. [But] the guy said he already prayed about it and they’ve courted, that he’ll marry her. 
This married woman of God, that is an ordained pastor...said it will never happen. She even called my friend’s mother and reported that my friend insulted and ridiculed her in front of people. The members she mentioned their names, said it never happened... 
Everyday she’ll come up with different method to tarnish the girls image. The pastor’s sister is the choir director, and my friend was expelled from the choir cause she missed rehearsals once. 
A leader in the church called my friend one day and told her to stop coming to the church and be very prayerful, that she went to clean the church one day and saw the pastor holding a white piece of cloth and was praying thunder and brimstone for her unborn child (she’s pregnant) not my friend. 
That part of the things she said was since she’s married and can’t marry the brother he must marry her younger sister the choir director or nobody else. That she’ll make life miserable for their enemies till they part ways. 
Please how can a woman of God who is pregnant stand on the sacred Alter of God and be laying curses on people's children because of marriage? 
This girl is always doing midnight prayer, everyday fasting cause their businesses is having serious challenge. (We know economy is bad, but how can both their businesses come to a standstill at about same period?) Now am even doubting every revelation she has seen for me…am in shock..."
Whether you believe or not, people can upset your life's journey. Just pray it doesn't happen to you.

And wailers b4 d elections wanted to convince their ancestors,not me that my Sai Buhari hated women and will never give them a chance in his government.

Abag sample the like button for my Sai Buhari

These women are some of the brightest in their respective professions. In President Muhammadu Buhari’s cabinet, they command a lot of respect and admiration. Lets meet them individually:

Mama Taraba - Aisha Alhassan (Minister of Women Affairs)
A lawyer by training and the first woman to be appointed Attorney General of Taraba State, Aisha Alhassan, is Nigeria’s Women Affairs Minister. She was also the All Progressives Congress candidate in the 2015 governorship election in Taraba State. A sports lover, she actively supports the Taraba State Football Association in several ways. Stylish in her own way, Alhassan, clearly favours colourful prints and scarves in breathtaking designs. Known for her signature red lipstick and well-manicured nails, the light-skinned beauty is fashionably elegant. Blessed with an impressive height and a beautiful smile, it isn’t difficult to spot her in a gathering of equally stylish women.

Khadija Bukar Abba Ibrahim (Minister of State for Foreign Affairs)
A dynamic politician, Khad1ja Bukar Abba Ibrahim served two terms as a legislator representing Yobe State. As Minister of State for Foreign Affairs, she brings to bear her wealth of experience having previously served as Commissioner for Transport and Energy in Yobe State for three years. A Business Studies and Sociology graduate of Roehampton Institute of Higher Education, an affiliate of the University of Surrey, soft-spoken Bukar-Abba is a silent achiever. During her first tenure as a legislator, she was Deputy Chairman of both the House Committee on Rural Development and House Committee on Communication. She was also was a member in the Power, Water Resources, Interior, Appropriation, Electoral Matters, Banking, Petroleum, Police Affairs, and Constitution Review Committees. A conservative dresser, she loves to wear pastel-coloured outfits and also keeps her make-up sweet and simple.

Amina Mohammed (Minister of Environment)
Beautiful Amina Mohammed is Nigeria’s Minister of Environment. Recognised for her role as a Special Adviser on Post-2015 Development Planning to the United Nations Secretary-General, Ban Ki-Moon, she is vibrant and hard working. Mohammed worked as a Senior Adviser on Millennium Development Goals to three different Presidents of Nigeria between 2000 and 2014. She has served on several international advisory boards and panels including the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. She worked in the United Nations Millennium Project as a Coordinator of the Task Force on Gender and Education for the United Nations Millennium Project. Blessed with a flawless complexion, her style can best be described as classic and refreshing.

Aisha Abubakar (Minister of State for Trade, Industry and Investment)
An alumna of the University of Leeds, Aisha Abubakar, is the Minister of State for Trade, Industry and Investment. A black beauty, she was the Managing Director/CEO, Abuja Enterprise Agency. A technocrat and international banker, Abubakar has also held managerial positions at the African International bank and African Development Bank. Unassuming and humble, she has over 20 years experience in banking and investment, rural enterprise development, policy analysis and business support. A lover of beautifully tailored Ankara outfits, she also wears minimal make-up and classy jewellery.

Kemi Adeosun (Minister of Finance)
As Nigeria’s Minister of Finance, there is no disputing the fact that Kemi Adeosun, is a thoroughbred professional. A London-trained economist, asides her pedigree and track record, one thing you cant take away from this mother of three, who commenced her career as an accounting assistant at British Telecom Company, London, is her simple dress sense and signature hairstyle. A former Commissioner of Finance in Ogun State, she has extensive experience in the private sector, having previously held key managerial positions at prestigious firms such as PricewaterhouseCoopers and Chapel Hill Denham Management. Not a fashion freak, Adeosun, 47, who has been married for 22 years obviously favours a shoulder-length wavy hairstyle and subtle make-up which has become her trademark look.

Zainab Ahmed (Minister of State for Budget and National Planning)
As Minister of State for Budget and National Planning, Zainab Ahmed, is clearly an authority in her field. Of a charming personality, she has a commendable track record in the public service space, holding key managerial positions at institutions such as the Nigeria Mobile Telecommunications and Kaduna Investment Company. As the Executive Secretary of the Nigeria Extractive Industries Transparency Initiative since October 2010, Ahmed, made quite an impact at the agency. Her sound personality is reflected in her dressing. Bespectacled, Ahmed rarely wears make-up, but, when she does wear, it is very minimal and blends perfectly with her skin tone.

Mrs. Winifred Oyo-Ita
Pretty and unassuming, Winifred Oyo-Ita is the Head of the Civil Service of the Federation. A native of Adiabo community of Odukpani Local Government Area of Cross River State,Oyo-Ita had her secondary education at Queens College Yaba. After her secondary education, she got admission into the University of Lagos, where she studied and obtained a B.Sc in Accounting. She also holds a master’s degree which she obtained from the Nasarawa State University.

After several years in the service of the government of the federation, Oyo-Ita became the Director, Finance and Accounts at the Head of Civil Service of the Federation. On October 21, 2015, President Muhammadu Buhari announced the appointment of Oyo-Ita as the Head of the Civil Service of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. She also serves as the Permanent Secretary of the Ministry of Science and Technology. Prior to her appointment as the Permanent Secretary in the Federal Ministry of Science and Technology in April 2014, Oyo-Ita was the Permanent Secretary in the Federal Ministry of Special Duties and Intergovernmental Affairs. A fellow of the Institute of Chartered Accountants of Nigeria, she loves to wear Ankara and favours the afro hairstyle.

- Put together by Punch's Jayne Augoye

Married People in d houz abeg make una shook mouth for dis mata

My husband was always complaining of how unadventurous I was in the bedroom. Specifically, he wanted me to invest in s*xy under-wears that would turn him on. So when a friend recently came back from her business trip and had some naughty undies to sell, I bought quite a few.

I put them on the other day and was quite shocked and annoyed when he promptly ripped them off as soon as we got in bed to make love...

I spent all that money and made the effort to please him, but what’s the point if he’s not even going to look at it on me and admire?

A young wife Mrs. K sent this to Aunty Bunmi. Below is her reply to the wife:

Dear Mrs K.,
Having your husband rip your s*xy underwear off in seconds seems to me the knickers must have turned him on no end! I quite sympathise with your frustration. So, next time, why don’t you first disappear into the bathroom, leaving him waiting in bed for you? 
Then emerge to pose in the doorway with your s*xy gears, before walking s-l-o-w-l-y over to the bed. Sincerely let him know he should remove the items one by one! 
Alternatively, put on your s*xy underwear as you are both getting ready to go to work so he can’t do a thing other than admire you...from there it can get to something sweeter!

It's not all about pointing out the problem from what is on ground but providing solution and doing something about it.many people know of this things you wrote but go on to talk about it alone with less action. Act on it and encourage those around u with such.[color=#990000][/color]

denkyw:
I think this should call for concern, this administration has really failed could you imagine two whole cemeteries no single hospital, and you are shining your dirty teeth, buhari has failed.

.



Comedian

Story for d gods
Can u proudly say u are abiding to all dis rules b4 trying to address others?

Na so one man mistakenly stepped on her wife's clothe who wore dis kind dress as de wia walking to dia seat for reception hall,na so all ia well wishers use eyes do Xmas for dem sefs with what shud have been for d man alone.crazy fashion

Am I d only one noticing that d mum looks like two different pple coz of bleaching?

14june:
Whom much is given , much is been expected from him, I didn't votes for Him, but I enjoys his few steps.
What ever it takes to make our country greats again, please Sir, do it. People like us need jobs , after so many
years of my graduation. Nigeria will be Great Again. All hails our president GMB.

Nice view,but y u come no vote for him and I guess u must have voted for continous display of impunity of PDP and expected something different.Welcome to change ma bro

Mogidi:
One president respects women the other hates women.

What the picture of jonathan shows is not having respect for women but a president that is not deplomatic.he is d number one citizen and shud come first as he is d one people were expecting.

tosyne2much:
Actually looking foward to the day OPs on nairaland will stop being cowards hiding under the canopy of "it happened to a friend"

I will advise you tell your friend to open the thread himself b4 i can offer my own advice

Lolz...funny @ what u think,its a pity if u don't know some friends are closer than some blood brothers.

munchfani:
U MATE NEEDS TO LEARN HOW TO MARSH UP THE PUMPUM BIG TIME.

I don't get what u mean by that statement bro

Hello friends

I have been a reader in this forum for a while now,usually see the help through advise being given to people,which made me to bring this issue here because at this point,I don't know what exactly to tell this my guy becuase this issue is beyond me.

My friend has been dating his girlfriend for two years now,the babe is know to us(his friends) and his family as the only woman for him. It was a no sex relationship as the girl said her virginity is her pride. My guy accepted to wait till when they get married as he truly love this babe. Last year ending, one guy moved into the compound of this girl, that was when stories entered their beautiful relationship.

To cut the long story short, recently my guy's girlfriend that never wanted sex started disturbing him of sex, he was surprised about it, later agreed as she made him promise her to indulge in it with her. Alarm blew on the supposed day they were meant to have the sex as he wanted to cover his white sheets because of possible blood stains, she told him blood won't come out. He went in and blood never came out. Since then, she had been lying and swearing she was a virgin which my guy persisted she was not.

She opened up to him of recent that she lost it to the new guy in their compound who as of then almost made them to break up but was pleaded with him not to break the relationship by her aunt and some good friends of hers'.

She doesn't have anything to do with that guy she lost it to because the issue went out of proportion then in their compound, which made my guy to start growing faith in her again upon knowing she slept with that guy in her compound few times when she cheated with him.

She recently confessed to him she knew blood won't come out as she slept with the compound guy once before the day they had sex. The twist now is that who he met a virgin could not hold on to it for him but gave it away to another guy.he is questioning the girl's love on how she could have done such.he still loves her but can't say if he can trust her not to try such if eventually he marries her.she begged for forgiveness.but to be honest,I don't know what to say to this guy.

Please, friends, your candid advise will go a long way in shaping someone's future here as of life partner as he plans on getting married by next year ending..

The best thing to do here is to open up to ur girlfriend abt d whole issue and invite her over to stay for some time with u and see how things adjust itself.women no de carry dia man play,just ur girlfriend being around can send her packing [color=#990000][/color]

asadike:
wetin she dey do with cucumber when we have lions all around

. Baby can I iron u?lol

Fear North

This is what we call assembly of technocrats that are ready to move nigeria forward

Lordave:
No, not because of the SS status but because a certain AS guy owns the child

If u say because a certain AS guy owns d child,its just as if u have concluded that the wife cheated,and if that's d case here,y are u here to seek for our opinion?

REVEALED: Government’s annual budget is N20tn, not N4.3tn

The House of Reps said on Sunday that the Federal Government’s yearly expenditure was “over N20tn,” contrary to the N4.6tn (2014) or N4.3tn (2015) disclosed as the country’s annual public budget.

The House  Public Accounts Committee, which made the disclosure, noted that an ongoing examination of the finances of government and its 601 agencies showed that the N4.3tn given as the total spending budget for this year was a “far cry” from the reality.

The Chairman of the committee, Mr. Adeola Solomon-Olamilekan, who spoke on the issue, explained that, unknown to Nigerians, the N4.3tn, for example, did not include the expenditure of many “statutory and extra-ministerial departments” of government.

The lawmaker put the budget of these other bodies at over N16tn.

He added that his committee found out that these other agencies not captured in the regular budget, generated and spent their money as it pleased them without seeking the approval of the National Assembly.

Solomon-Olamilekan explained further, “The N4.9tn, N4.6tn or N4.3tn, as the case may be, is the budget that the whole Nigerians are listening to but in the true sense of it, the budget of other statutory and extra-ministerial departments put together is about N16tn.

“So, the total overall budget year in year out is over N20tn, which the executive arm operates, but nobody is asking questions as to the implementation of all these budgets.

“Nobody is bringing information on the implementation of all these budgets; and this is one area Nigerians need to start asking questions in order to move this country forward.”

Solomon-Olamilekan stated that though the Fiscal Responsibility Act, 2007, made adequate provisions on how these bodies should be held accountable, the law was observed in breach.

He cited the “stifling” of the Office of the Auditor-General of the Federation as one of the ways to shield government agencies from opening their books to scrutiny.

Solomon-Olamilekan said this was done by starving the office of funds “over the years” to a point where it no longer had the financial power to effectively audit the accounts of the implementation agencies of government and its extra-ministerial departments.

For instance, he revealed how the government cut the capital budget of the AGF’ office from N1.9bn to a “meagre” N100m in 2015.

The lawmaker said his committee was at a loss on how the AGF’s office would audit the accounts of 601 agencies with N100m and the country’s 144 foreign missions.

The PAC chairman added, “How can we imagine that the capital budget of the office of AGF for the year 2015 was reduced from N1.9bn to N100?

“Can you also imagine an office of the AGF that has 144 foreign missions to audit and as we speak, between 1999 to date, that office has not audited up to 30 of these foreign missions while three quarter of these foreign missions are also revenue generating agencies?

“So, there is nobody to audit the revenue generated and the expenditure they incur.

“The office of the AGF has been short-changed and the budget has been reduced to nothing. As such, the government of the day is having a field day to carry out whatever its wants to do because they know they have an office that is not functioning.”

In as much as that am happy and see this as a great news,this is not so much of d great news.this is what d govt shud have been doing since.the number of people lost and displaced in dis menace wud have been lower.

mikeansy:
The most advanced countries in the world dont have brooms but they all have umbrellas

A British or German kid does not know what a broom is because they use vacuum cleaner instead.

That we still rely on brooms shows that we are still backward and need some catching up to do with advanced countries

BROOM represent BACKWARDNESS just like BUHARI

That's why we need room so as clean our environment to be neat for us to have neat society to implement the ideas we need in catching up

My prayers for Nigeria is what I see coming through.have always prayed for change in the federal level of this great country.am certain Buhari will win.all thanks to God


Ihavedecided

ACTNOW RE: BUHARI VS. JONATHAN: BEYOND THE ELECTION BY PROF. SOLUDO
The above titled piece by Prof. Chuwuma Soludo to us is highly welcome at a time like this when those who should know would be doing Nigeria a great injustice by keeping quiet. Any advice given by the former CBN governor, ought to be given critical attention by any serious minded party.

This piece is to first, appreciate the depth of thought the author has put in, to particularly wake Nigerians up to the reality of the quagmire the PDP government has placed this nation particularly in the last five years. As a former Chief Economic Adviser to the President and later CBN governor Prof. Soludo surely knows what he is talking about.
On our part as a party that is determined to reverse the nation from the march to self-destruction we have taken a long and hard look at most of the issues raised by the erudite professor and we have penned down credible and workable answers to the issues raised...

While not denying the nobility and originality of our ideas for change, the writer only assumed that with the current state of the badly battered public finance, our party when elected into power would not be able to fulfil its promises. This opinion need not be criticised but to be provided with honest answers since its manifest intent and purpose is to engender qualitative debate and not strife.

Based on our track record in the states we presently control, any discerning observer would notice that there is a pattern of governance that APC states are known for. Wherever we lead, one of the first things we do is to bolster the capacity for internally generated revenue through a programmed course of action. Some examples would be apposite here- Lagos state in 1999 was generating a meagre N600 million monthly, but today it generates an average of N20 billion. Osun state in 2010 when we took over was generating a measly N300 million monthly, today it generates an average of N1billion despite the economic and political constraints trying to hinder her progress. Kano state used to raise a meagre N400 million monthly in 2011, today it has grossed over N2 billion monthly. 

All these increased earning were mostly done by blocking leakages, ensuring the integrity of the collection and remitting system and utilising the scarce resources in the best interest of the people. So we believe that with careful planning and transparency, we would double our non-oil revenue in two years, by re-enacting our knack for excellence at the Federal level.

The APC believes that tackling corruption is the singular most important economic initiative we can take as a nation at this time. According to the National Bureau of Statistics (NBS), Nigeria earned N51.50 trillion as proceeds from oil between 1979–2011. Only N3.10 trillion was earned between 1979-1999, from 2000-2011 the sum of N48.40trillion was received. The successive regimes from the civilian to military, were still able to build the longest bridge in Africa, the National Assembly complex, massive roads, refineries, power lines, dams etc. despite the relative low earnings. Our belief is that the opaque nature of our major revenue earning institutions like the NNPC, Customs, Internal Revenue Service etc. needs to change, these institutions can earn far more than they are currently doing. Our government, under Gen. Muhammadu Buhari is set to reverse this trend. Government money must be put in the service of the people and not squandered by a few cabals.
Another important source of leakage and corruption is the procurement system currently in place. 

While we would encourage both big and small contractors, we would however sanitise the procurement system and ensure all contracts give optimum value for money. Our procurement system would be transparent for all Nigerian to know how our commonwealth is being disbursed. It is now a pedestrian information that Nigeria loses about 17% of its oil production to oil theft. This translates to about 400,000 barrels per day. Since President Goodluck Jonathan assumed office on May 6, 2010 over N6 Trillion of government funds have been stolen through fraud, embezzlement and theft in the oil industry alone. This, to us, is unacceptable. We believe that the greatest losers in this evil scheme are the people of the Niger-Delta and the vulnerable majority of our people. We would reverse this trend and make the money work for the people. 

Another important issue raised by Prof. Soludo is the costing of our welfare programmes. We have done our homework in this regard, before I put forward the figures, it is important to note that a nation with 80% graduate unemployment; over 100 million living below poverty; 10.8 million children out of school etc. we cannot afford not to take any risk to salvage our nation. Our current security problems of insurgency, kidnapping, militancy etc. are aggravated by the vast army of unemployed youths available to be recruited into such crimes. We believe by spending money to reduce poverty, empower our youths and give hope to the vast majority of Nigerians, our nation would resurge back to productivity and prosperity. 

We have tested it and it worked in states like Osun where meals are given to children every day. The state government ensured all the foods consumed are produced locally, so it buys agro products from farmers at a guaranteed price; about 3000 food vendors were also given seed capital to become cooks for the schools in their vicinity. That policy alone made the state attain the status of highest school enrolment by population; lowest unemployment rate (3% compared with national average of 24%) and one of the leading agro-based economies in Nigeria. So in the long run, it is not how much we spend, that is the greatest issue for us, it is, how much hope, employment and sustainable revenue we would start realising from such bold venture. 

Our proposed 740,000 emergency new jobs in the 36 states would cost N88.8b per annum at N20,000 per month. The social security programme of conditional cash transfer of N5,000 monthly to at least 25,000,000 poorest and most vulnerable people would amount to N125bn/month. On the primary school feeding programme, at a cost of N2.5b per month by 36 states, we have N90 billion per month. All these costs are structured to simultaneously boost production and local economies. Over the years, the benefits of this programmes become self-evident. 

As we engage youths in productive activities and teach them modern skills, they become contributors to the national economy. Imagine investing a guaranteed N1 trillion on agriculture for the school feeding programme, that alone would revolutionise our agriculture. More than 2 million direct and indirect jobs would be created. Scientists, farmers, economists, artisans, marketers, insurers and many others would be engaged, also mechanisation of the agriculture industry would be achieved in less than four years. 

This piece cannot exhaust our action plan of action, however, as a party we are daily joggling the ideas and ensuring it meets reality checks. Our ‘CHANGE’ mantra implies that rather than merely throwing money at problems, we want to be sure that every public expenditure generates jobs and has multiplier effects on the economy. We are committed to recruiting the best economic team this country has ever gathered to implement these laudable ideals and restore hope to our long-suffering and beleaguered people.

- Ihavedecided