₦airaland Forum

ItisWell22:
“If she loves you, she will spend on you”. 💯

Should we just say most of these ladies you talk about don’t love their men?

Colson:
They believe that "sex" is more than enough to compensate for your spending.
"Na him dey fvck me, so na him go pay my bills"
LOL.

Magnetic010:
Men are the biggest problem to themselves...Their are a lot of young girls who are jobless, or earn less than 500k a year, who came from poor or very poor background but meet them and talk to them; they will tell you they want a man who has this, that and many more...she doesn't want to settle for less, she wouldn't even date a guy without a car...where do you think she gets that audacity from?....Men...she knows that there are men out that willing to go above and beyond just to get her.

I have been in hospitality business for years now and bro I cannot even begin to tell you what I have witnessed...I have seen guys send 200k to girls just for her to agree to go out with them...I have seen guys buy a higher model of phone for girls just for her to leave who she is currently dating....


After all these madness and waste to get girls..what do you think will happens to their mentality? They become entitled...they feel it is their right to get everything from a man, the world revolves around them.so why expect her to give you her money, or care about your struggles when society and other men have made her understand that she is Queen and only thing she deserves is the "soft life".

ojaysam25:
That's the reality we find ourselves now. Dating a Nigeria girl is like you just open an orphanage. They are always hungry.

tosinhtml:
The most interesting point about this whole conversation is that, both the feminist, non-feminist & those who fully believe in traditional roles all want men who are ready and willing to pay all the bills. Be a traditional man etc.

So for a man, there is really no difference. They all want the same thing.

The biggest cue which I tell everyone is, during dating if that lady doesn't buy you anything TANGIBLE with her OWN money for you, she is never going to contribute anything financially in the future. The cue has never failed, once you access your life & can't point on any tangibles received. It's time to go.

JESHAL007:
Hi

Kalatium:
Here is a link to dpsychologist book

Ilekokonit:
You get good wife. If na some wives, every month before they drop their share of the joint contribution they will insult you or form unnecessary quarrel so that you will avoid collecting their share from them. Some will even lie to you about their finances.

benqo01:
OP YOU MADE A POINT WHICH I THINK WE NEED TO LOOK INTO , MARRIAGE IS ALL ABOUT PARTNERSHIP AND TURNING UP AT THAT DYING POINT FOR YOUR PARTNER IT TAKES TWO TO TANGLE.

BUT WHAT DO WE HAVE TODAY? A MAN SHOULDERING 100% OF THE RESPONSIBILITY

WHY DO YOU THINK MEN DIE EARLY .
WHY DO YOU THINK WE HAVE MORE GRANDMAS THAN GRANDPAS.

THE WORLD ISNT NICE TO MEN YOUR PROVISION AS A MAN IS YOUR DEFENCE

RAISE YOUR STANDARD
RAISE YOUR STANDARD

THAT IS WHY AS A MAN NEVER YOU SETTLE FOR LESS PLACE YOURSELF ON VALUES

BECAUSE YOU RE THE PRIZE!!!!

Ilekokonit:
Maybe that's why the suicide rate amongst UK men is at an all time high.

GboyegaD:
Unfortunately, some men think providing is what makes them the man/head of the home. As such, they don't mind slaving away for the title.

In my house, we have our principle which is a joint contribution of 95% of net income and it is my job to draw out the budget (it covers everything even to hair cut/braiding and buying of personal hygiene kits) and discuss it with madam. The remaining 5% for each party can be spent on whatever either party wants.

This way, there's no pressure since we both know where we are. At the end of each month, we do a mini audit by discussing what was properly done and what could have been managed better.

Praise202:
The kind of family I was raised, I never believed this could be possible( that the man can be solely responsible for all family expenses down to salt, Maggie, water but lately I found a family that where the husband is solely the provider despite the wife and her first daughter working and earning .


It's unfortunate world to men

marlow1962:
That is why I keep advising my fellow men, if God bless you today and you're financially okay, do no go down with a jobless woman.

budaatum:
Really? I wish this were true in this world where many men are trying to reduce women to diq receptors tied to stoves.


We been telling you men this for decades, but you feel castrated by women earning as much or more than you do.


If you were honest you'd say men need to develop a culture of empathy and support their partners instead of unempathically going off to poke a LovePeddler and coming home and wanting to poke their wife without caring what they caught and might give her.

Now, for the financial struggle you men seem to have. If you treat your wife as the equal she is, she might equally contribute to your households finances, and you'd both bring up your sons and daughters to be assets to themselves and their future families. But instead, you out there poking ashewo and complaining you don't earn enough.

Hope you see how little sympathy I have for pigs. As for the men, I hope you learn.

ednut1:
Na you dey put yourself under pressure. Look for what you can cope with. You can try babes hawking bread or those sales gals in buka 😂

eazzzy1:
I’m not under any sort of financial pressure or obligation to meet anyone’s needs. There can’t be external pressure if there is no internal pressure, you think you should meet everyone’s needs and think you are failing when you can’t. That is the source of your pressure.

At the beginning of every year I come up with a budget, I know my income, my expenses and how much I plan to save & invest. At the end of every month I’m left with about $400 spare money, if my car breaks down and the cost of repair is above what I have in spare money, I’m taking the bus until I have enough to fix it.

If I’m that wicked to even myself, imagine someone telling me they want a $1500 phone or they want to buy a car and they are short $3000. I know the minimum amount I will save this year. I will not alter it unless it’s a life or death situation.

MikeofKd:
Nice write up OP. Men suffer in great silence. I remember when I was still a kid one random midnight I sneaked to d parlour to watch cartoon and I saw my dad there in parlour deep in thoughts I stood there watching him for a few minutes without understanding, now I very much understand why he was in that position.

The life of a man is hard. Women hardly care , society barely cares , nobody understands a broke man , nobody. When He tries his best and yet nothing changes , people would call him all sorts of names.

That's why as a man , if you are ever gonna get married make sure it's a woman that loves you and not the woman you love, make sure you spoil yourself when you can. Go on solo vacations , buy a nice suit , eat good nourishing food. Drink good wine. Cause honestly nobody really gives a Bleep about a man in today's world. Take good care of yourself as a man.
Prioritize your Peace of mind, invest in yourself. Before you spend a dime on any woman make sure you have more than enough first , yes. Women can collect money from 200 men but one man can barely collect money from 5 men , be wise.

liveyourlife007:
D!ck is the reason why a man's life is hard.
And do you know why a woman's life is soft?

Yeah👍 you got it!

Dpharmacist:
In Nigeria, the problem has never been a lack of laws or institutions—on paper, we have enough regulatory bodies to keep every industry in check. The real issue? Enforcement.

Regulations exist. Agencies exist. Policies exist. But enforcement is selective—often dictated not by duty, but by who is willing to pay for silence.

When Regulators Become Racketeers

Regulatory bodies that were created to protect consumers have instead become gatekeepers of corruption. Officials who should be cracking down on dangerous and unethical practices collect bribes, look the other way, and allow the system to rot.

We see it everywhere:

Fake alcohol flooding the market, yet NAFDAC and Customs pretend not to notice.

Expired and substandard drugs still being sold in patent medicine stores/chemists, yet regulatory checks rarely lead to shutdowns.

Oil marketers manipulating fuel prices, while agencies issue empty threats but do nothing.


These institutions are not failing because they are incapable. They are failing because enforcing the law has become a business.

The Cost of Speaking Up

Now, what happens when an honest official tries to challenge the system?

They become a target.

In Nigeria, disrupting profitable corruption is a dangerous game. Whistleblowers are either threatened into silence or eliminated. Those who refuse to play by the rules of corruption quickly find themselves isolated—or worse.

Need proof? Look no further than Dora Akunyili.

She was one of the few public officials who genuinely tried to clean up the system. As the Director-General of NAFDAC, she took on the powerful drug counterfeiters head-on. She exposed them, shut down fake drug factories, and refused to take bribes—a move that nearly cost her life when she survived an assassination attempt.

But what happened after her tenure? The old ways returned. Fake drugs crept back into pharmacies. Regulatory compromises resumed. And once again, the highest bidder dictates what gets enforced and what gets ignored.

Why the System Remains Broken

Nigeria’s problem is not a lack of laws; it’s the fact that laws are bought and sold.

It’s not a lack of institutions; it’s that institutions have been hijacked by those they were meant to regulate.

And until we fix the culture of impunity, where corrupt officials act without fear of consequences, enforcement will remain a cash cow for the highest bidder—while ordinary Nigerians pay the price.

So the question remains: How many more Dora Akunyilis do we need before we finally realize that silence is complicity?


Cc seun nlfpmod