[/quote]I love this analysis. Girl, you deserve a chilled beer. We are too quick to judge the other person whenever a relationship goes south, forgetting the fact that someone who did what annoyed us today, once did something we love. [quote author=othermen post=92576408]What about her good attributes? Our characterisation of another often say much about our own character even.

I am certain that you have received many support to reinforce your decision as regards this matter from this platform. But I will be clear with somethings to you Sir.

She is always right and unapologetic-
This is ambiguous expression, why would anyone be apologetic for being right or being always right? I think what you mean to say, is that she is sometimes wrong and when wrong, she is unapologetic. This is no great attitude, however I think you are exaggerating…for instance to you, it is wrong of her to put her picture on WhatsApp status, and so because you have a circle of folks with like minds, they agree with you, you confront her, but she really don’t understand why she should apologise for not hiding her face.

What you want is not a wife, what you want is a slave… someone scared of you, someone insecure, someone that can’t disagree with your opinion or ideas. We apologise because we want peace, but she might choose not to apologise because you don’t deserve it and because it legitimises whatever request or position you held. You must deserve an apology to get one, Sir.

She is always eager to harass and disrespect me-

I am wondering how she could have harassed you and disrespected you, by disagreeing with you, you may feel disrespected, by her refusal to lick your ‘asss’ sir, that may be want you mean by disrespect. And what does she harass you with? Her free will, her intelligence, because when you say harass, I am sure you mean, she intimidates you.

Perhaps because of your background, you don’t come from a place, where women should have a voice…, you come from a place where you expect her to do your laundry. Sir, you have to grow beyond your background, and if she has been physically aggressive towards you, I could say you must have cultivated such habit in your relationship yourself. Again, you must earn respect and it is often from reciprocality.

She can’t cook-

This is just to get the bandwagon to follow you, and it is from expressions like this, that I began to perceive that you may not have characterised her in a just or fair manner after all. When a lady, comes to this platform and say, ‘he can’t even Bleep’ while this may be a legitimate concern, the context of such an expression is already coloured. It is an empty banter statement and it is incomplete, inordinate and incautious… she don’t cook is different from she can’t cook, she can’t cook well is different from she can’t cook. She is not your cook, at least not yet!

I can imagine your small kitchen, and she spend hours and tire herself making you a meal, and you open your mouth and dismiss her effort…you have not encouraged her to help with the meals. I however encourage everyone (both genders) to please learn how to cook and cook well. In some relationship, meals are important.

I don't think I am alone- I have stopped trying to figure out what this mean.

She advertises herself on WhatsApp-

Your characterisation again is lacking in good judgment. If you have absolute power, you would not merely have her use Hijab, you would also compel her to use Niqab. Sir, she being with you, does not create an obligation from her part, to shield herself from everyone else.

Women want to be complimented, married women use make-up to be admired. It is not an evidence of desire for lust, than it is what makes everyone of us human, and for you to think otherwise, shows that you may be unmindful. This is a symptom of paranoid personality disorder.

Acting possessed and trying to overpower -

So whenever she tries to overpower you , she is possessed and because you cannot accept that she is more powerful than you, she must be possessed, possessed by a dominant gene I suppose. Power based relationship often lead to revolt especially in this age. Accept that she is not inferior to you, treat her with love and respect, master her with care, and she will submit to you. But the more you think it is a matter of brawn not brain, you would likely be overpowered in other facet of life.


She drinks alcohol-

Young girls today, they go to club, they smoke, they do drugs and all manner of things. After doing so, they still go to mass on Sunday, some Muslim girls during the fast, break with Shisha. We live in an age that for social acceptance, you should know how to take a cup of alcohol or wine. What you didn’t say, is if she is alcoholic, I am sure if she is, you would have mentioned that.

Her drinking of alcohol however may not merely be against your desire but also your religious belief. But chill, Nigeria is a significant consumer of alcohol and yet highly religious, if it against your belief, and you cannot tolerate it. Then I think, of coz, give her a choice between you and it. In the end, it is your life, do what is best for you.

Wearing a waist bead and ankle bracelet- One good person here has already addressed this.

She is kind of my way or nothing-

This is not negligible Sir. It should be about the best way, the most reasonable way and the most advantageous way... not about her way or your way. If she has always had her way, then she is an asset. Many corporate organisations pay lots for such skills. But an extremely disagreeable person in a relationship can be overwhelmingly distressing, and what matters goes beyond the goal. But what is your goal? If your goal is peace, then the way to peace may be allowing her to have her way. You both win. But I am sure, what I have said is not so realistic, there would always be varying perspectives. Engage her, not forcefully, but reasonably. I am sure she will see reasons when you do that. Sometimes, concede to her needs, ask her counsel…and stop thinking she should have no intelligence and no thoughts of her own because this person is a she.

Easily get upset and next ruin my day-

Being upset is a reaction, and when she is upset, she is not having a great day either. She has given you two years of her life, and you can't find a single good thing to say about her, when she has assisted you with counsel, or tended your needs... Help her when she is upset Sir or walk away. Walking away is better these days, if you think you are not compatible, it is better than having to live a life of despair for the rest of your days, for her and for you, it may be the most advantageous.

But I needed to be clear with you, Your write up- projects you as a very weak person, and not just weak, but also as someone who can’t put with a stronger will. You cannot manage a relationship as at now, and your brain process suggest to you, that the solution is to marry two women. Don’t you think that something is inadequate with that brain? It is that same brain, that evokes all of the problem with her, that is why, it is essential another look is given. I hope you work on it Sir.