₦airaland Forum

I was here too.

CrazyScientist:
Haba Dyoungstar ! Please update na

You are from Minna ba?


My house is at Tunga, shiroro road, just after Rashida restaurant opposite governor muazu family house, come collect the update there please.

ODUMAIYE:
u no try o

Why?

https://www.nairaland.com/2054647/devils-advocate-666-not-responsible





Read other stories here.

https://www.nairaland.com/2071461/letter-january-first-short-story





Checkout my short story on the link above.

donPhill:
dyoungstar no start oo...u know say we wey comment de refresh d page always and each refresh generates a view...come update oo
we few dat re here re willing to stay till d end...
Biko nu, ka yi hankuri, e joor, ...

I will update at my leisure time.

rapmike:
I definitely want to be published and its definitely fictional work.

RapMike this isn't for you, it's for starters.

This thread so far has garnered 1013 views yet only few comments are seen.

For this reason I will like to take a break and focus on my business, since Nairaland doesn't pay or foot my bills.

I have to channel my energy, time and data to some other important things, since the only payment writers receive for writing for free on NL is not deposited here.

Thanks.

[b]
Kpash, kpash... the thunderous slaps landed on my face. Kpai, kpai. Tim, Tim... my wife Justina pounded hard on my face, she has decided to deform my once handsome face which had attracted pretty chicks my way.

"You are a stupid man"

She said.

"This woman, I will kill you for nothing o" I found myself saying still on the floor, she became ferocious and strong willed to deal with me mercilessly this first day of January 2015.

My son Samson has joined her to fight me, I was wearing a white singlet and tied a red towel over my under pant, I was ready to go take my bath before this misfortune befell me.

My son pulled at my towel hardly that the towel parted ways and I was left with my boxers which revealed my huge aggressive school boy dangling to and fro like pendulum bulb inside it; that did not satisfy him he clung to my leg while his mother pined me to the ground and I was choking.

Our compound people had gathered, one would think they had come to help but in my compound when quarrel ensues between two people, they always support the wining team especially if the wining team is a female.

I was dying under the pressure from my wife's strong grip, the wicked neighbors instead of rescuing me; they watched and suggested possible areas she would hit me, one (papa James) even suggested she burst my testicles because I had once beaten him in a bet to see who first penetrates the federal capital territory of Maryam the new youth corper tenant in our neighbouring compound.

The heavy punches and slaps never ceased landing on my face momentarily, it was like we are making a public premier of our family drama series, as my wife and I entertained the compound, if it were to be shot as movie and shown at silverbird cinema, I am pretty sure it will outdo Kunle Afolayan's 1st October.

I was almost dying, my wife was getting more ferocious at the sight and cheers of other tenants.

"Hey! Hey! What is happening here?"

My landlord came to my rescue, What a saviour!

"What is happening here?"

The landlord asked waiting for an answer, my tigress of a wife was fuming and almost bursting into particles.

I laid weakly and beggarly on the floor panting in the bid to inhale O2.
"Am I not asking you people a question or are all of you deaf?"

He angrily fired at all the tenants present, none of them responded to his question.

"Woman, What is the cause of your brawl this morning? For heavens sake why are you two' husband and wife fighting this first of January of all days?
Can't you wait till the month goes far?"

"Oga landlord"

Justina started amidst anger and hatred.

"This man is wicked, very wicked. The only thing he knows to do is use this deadly ebonite rod between his legs to wound me every night."

"Ehn!"

"Yes, he has no use save to make me sleepless every night.
Can you imagine this man woke up this morning, went to the kitchen and scrambled for the leftover food in the pot which I left for my son to eat this morning, and when I asked him for money he started narrating how federal government locked their salaries and how politicians has hijacked all the money meant for their office and salaries settlement. As if that was not enough, he went to my box and packed the new wrappers my church women leader gave me to keep, which we are going give to our pastor on i-love-my-pastor day next Sunday; the worst of it is that he gave another woman he's having affairs with the money, before then, I asked him for money for me to prepare meal for the new year for us, all he could afford was 50 naira that couldn't buy salt; telling me there's no money."

As she narrated a woman walked in with some uniformed men, she was looking fierce and mean; she quickly pointed at the already dying man on the floor.

"Arrest him! He's the fool."

"What is happening here?" The landlord asked.

"Arrest him immediately, i don't have time to waste here. The woman ordered."

"Mr. Man, you are under arrest.
You have every right to remain silent or whatever you say or do will be used against you in the law court."

One of the police men spoke and made to cuff him when a voice spoke from behind.

"Is this the house?"

"Yes sir!"

"Where is the man?"

"See him there on the ground."

"Is this the idio.t?"

"Yes sir."

"Arrest him, chief Omeka ordered the police men with him."

"Sir, it seems there's another case here; as you can see there are police men here before us."

"How is that my business? My boy is in detention in the maximum security prison for a crime he knows nothing about, my reputation is on the brink of being dented and you are telling me balderdash. Arrest him."

"Sir, please What actually happened? Why have you come to arrest my tenant?"

"This man came to my shop to buy rice worth 70,000 naira and paid my boy with fake currency, my boy was apprehended when he went to the bank to deposit the money."

"What!" The landlord blurted out.

"Madam What complains have you got against this man?"

Madame cash cleared her dried throat and began narrating.

"This man came to my shop and collected clothes worth 122,000 naira and promised to pay me before 25 December, the date came and passed I didn't see him, I called him there was no response, so I came to collect my money."

Hmmm! The landlord exhaled.

"Mr. Patrick, you have heard What they said. Is it through? What happened?"

Mr. Patrick who was still lying on the floor tired and worn out still trying to inhale air summoned a little strength and rose to speak.


"My wife never allowed me to rest, she grumbles all the time and complained on how I have never treated her parents; she said she and her son has never been treated as people who relates to me in anyway. So I decided to go borrow money from friends, i used the money to buy things for her family and for her. I wanted to surprise her, so I kept all the things I bought behind the cupboard, I was trying to make her discover there's something she has not seen in the house that was why I tried making her a little angry since I knew she would probably search the house for something if she didn't see it; I took her wrapper and hid it where the stocks I bought were.

As I spoke I noticed the blue computer hiace bus stop in front of their compound.

My parents died years ago, I am the only surviving child, I have nobody to cater for; hence all the money I collected I used to take care of this people. He spoke faintly amidst tears.

I didn't know uche gave me fake moo moo moo neyyyyyy.

He died. He had suffered suffocation because he had asthma.

People had turned to see who the people he was referring to are not knowing he is dead, surprisingly; they are Justina's family which includes her two parents and five brothers, Justina was surprised to see her parents. She later found out that her husband had done all that to please her Christmas and new year demands.
[/b]

Guys and babes abeg make una forgive me ooo, I travelled, where I travel go electricity na hot cake; I'll update as soon as I am back from my travel biko nu, ema binu, ku yi hankuri, ε fa βθsθκθ.