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Elparaiso's Posts

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Business / Re: Jeff Bezos Agrees $35bn Divorce by Elparaiso(m): 3:07pm On Apr 05, 2019
Xisnin:
Mckenzie appears to be a forgiving wife considering the leniency of the deal.

Forgiving? He paid the best lawyers, dude.

4 Likes

Phones / Re: Mention Top 3 Smartphones You've Used In The Past(throwback) by Elparaiso(m): 7:30pm On Mar 28, 2019
Samsung S7 Edge, Note 8 and 9.


Samsung is where it's at.
Family / Re: Why I Rejected The Food My Wife Made For Me - Nigerian Man (Photos) by Elparaiso(m): 10:37pm On Nov 27, 2018
When will these bloggers stop taking Rant HQ posts literally?

I can't even post again because I'm scared of this unnecessary posts.

14 Likes

Family / Re: My Wife Doesn't Like Sex by Elparaiso(m): 3:23am On Nov 15, 2018
Unless she's asexual, she just doesn't like sex with you.

1 Like

Autos / Re: Why The Sudden Madness For Benz Cars? by Elparaiso(m): 7:03pm On Nov 09, 2018
See as ona just dey yab Hyundai sha cry
European Football (EPL, UEFA, La Liga) / Re: Qarabag Vs Arsenal : Europa League (0 - 3) On 4th October 2018 by Elparaiso(m): 6:11pm On Oct 04, 2018
This Emegharra guy na real naija cheesy grin
Culture / Re: Oyaaa! Waffi Men, Benin Men, Port Harcourt Niggies, Yenagoa Men. Pidgin Contest by Elparaiso(m): 3:37pm On Oct 01, 2018
No be by who fit write Bible on top pidgin. No too much yannings abeg, na for Benin them born pidgin. If you no like am, go boil beans.

3 Likes

Romance / Re: Lady's Reply To "What Would You Do If Your Husband's Mum Slapped You?" by Elparaiso(m): 10:08pm On Sep 19, 2018
Amberon:
But your wife can receive slaps from your mother, right?

That's her ish, her and my mom.

All I know is my face is for smooches, not slaps.
TV/Movies / Re: What Series Are You Watching Now? Part 2 by Elparaiso(m): 4:10am On Sep 19, 2018
cao:
Jack Ryan.
Since Amazon will not STFU about it, I might as well see what all the commotion is about...

When you do, please come back with an explanation for why Jack had to be present for everything that happened after he discovered the financial patterns.

Thanks in advance.
Romance / Re: Lady's Reply To "What Would You Do If Your Husband's Mum Slapped You?" by Elparaiso(m): 2:11am On Sep 19, 2018
ThatKING:
To those supporting their mother, No physical abuse in whatever manner is proper...


What will you do if your wife's Father slapped you??

He's stopped being my wife's father. I no marry for their family again, make them carry their pikin.
TV/Movies / Re: What Series Are You Watching Now? Part 2 by Elparaiso(m): 4:42pm On Aug 13, 2018
KoiceReloaded:


Better late than never, bro. grin

Btw, the spinoff, Mayans MC will debut on the 4th of September.

Really? Hopefully, it's better than SOA.
TV/Movies / Re: What Series Are You Watching Now? Part 2 by Elparaiso(m): 5:01am On Aug 13, 2018
I surprised myself last week. I decided to give Sons of Anarchy a second chance and watched the first episode again.

Currently in season 4 finale and I want to thank K.oice, I shoulda listened 2 years ago.
Celebrities / Re: Olamide Shades NBC As He Releases New Song, Titled PUNA by Elparaiso(m): 4:56am On Aug 12, 2018
Eagleyes:
Na jahbless be fan? grin grin

I swear, e weak me.

Music blogger way no know music.

11 Likes 2 Shares

Romance / Re: Ways Girls Use To Scam Guys Nowadays by Elparaiso(m): 5:28am On Jul 15, 2018
Them still dey scam
Sports / Re: Riyad Mahrez Set To Join Manchester City by Elparaiso(m): 11:07pm On Jul 03, 2018
Abeg, Financial Fair Play no reach their side, because this is a clear case of Financial Doping.

FFP has been with Arsenal before the world knew about FFP sef, I just tire.

2 Likes

Romance / Re: Opinion: Who Can Stay Longer Without Sex, Men Or Women? by Elparaiso(m): 2:00pm On Jul 02, 2018
Obainoneandonly:
to be sincere,its women.they can stay even a decade without it,but guys can hardly go a month without doing it..
its natural and nature


This is what you get when you put women on a pedestal. The ladies that are deceiving you are getting their dicking elsewhere. Keep looking at them as unicorns.
Sports / Re: Sergio Ramos In Tears After World Cup Exit (Photos) by Elparaiso(m): 8:25pm On Jul 01, 2018
Waiting for the Salah fans to show their stupidity...

29 Likes 1 Share

Sports / Re: Uruguay Vs Portugal: World Cup (2 - 1) On 30th June 2018 by Elparaiso(m): 7:20pm On Jun 30, 2018
Portugal's gonna win, I don't understand all these fussing
Sports / Re: Eden Hazard Set His Sights On Real Madrid by Elparaiso(m): 11:09pm On Jun 20, 2018
Felixalex:
I love Hazard but I think he should go, for the sake of his career. He's too good to be wasting his time at an unambitious club like Chelsea (at the moment).

Conte's fate not known, stadium put on hold, inactivity @d transfer market so far, Abramovic immigration issues etc...

They should just sell abi disband d club sef, let us start supporting Eyimba

Thank God you know Chelsea's right next to Eyimba.
Pets / Re: Python Almost Strangled Indian Man To Death While Taking Selfie With It (Photos) by Elparaiso(m): 8:16pm On Jun 18, 2018
Did the snake beg him for the rescue? undecided undecided

9 Likes

Sports / Re: Gabriel Jesus Was Painting The Streets 4 Years Ago For World Cup by Elparaiso(m): 2:46pm On Jun 18, 2018
JESUS loves you probably means something else entirely in Brazilian prisons. cheesy cheesy cheesy

12 Likes 2 Shares

Romance / Re: How Do You Deal With A Breakup? by Elparaiso(m): 11:55pm On Jun 17, 2018
The best cure for womanliness is womanliness.

Oneitis has helped no man.
Sports / Re: Argentina Vs Iceland: World Cup 2018 (1 - 1) - Full Time by Elparaiso(m): 3:32pm On Jun 16, 2018
FoolishBoy419:


Give him a pk and free kick from a good position first. Stop this blind comparison


He's been given. Wetin remain?

2 Likes

Romance / Re: Women Cannot Handle Rejection At All: My Experience by Elparaiso(m): 9:09pm On Jun 13, 2018
Stolen from Reddit, acknowledge the source.

1 Like

Religion / Re: My Thoughts And Questions About Religion by Elparaiso(m): 12:26pm On Jun 13, 2018
joseph1013:
MY BEST FRIEND THE SERIAL KILLER

If you worship God and consider him to be your best friend, you should be aware that your best friend (if he exists) is a serial killer.

I have written before about the death toll from God's own murderous acts and from the orders to kill he gave to others. Those deaths amount to around 25 million people.

But some people say, I'm not being fair. I'm only taking one side of the story. What about the kind, loving things God did? What kind, loving things God did? Here is a challenge to you. Find me a SINGLE kind, loving thing God did. Just one.

And don't say he sent his son to be a human sacrifice to himself (John 3:16), I can't count demanding a human sacrifice as a kind, loving act.

And nor can you.

You know, if you forget his omnipotence and omnipresence for a second, he helped Moses heal the Israelites when snakes bit them.


You'll also have to forget that he sent the venomous snakes in the first place, but it's all good.
Romance / Re: Nigerian Ladies Seducing A White Man In Europe by Elparaiso(m): 12:21pm On Jun 13, 2018
Ovbiedo people.

11 Likes

Celebrities / Re: Zamar, Runtown's Son's 1st Birthday Photos by Elparaiso(m): 11:27am On Jun 13, 2018
Runtown looking like Kendrick Lamar.
Romance / Re: 12 June - Happy Birthday Ubunja by Elparaiso(m): 2:08am On Jun 12, 2018
Happy birthday bro, best wishes from me.

2 Likes 1 Share

Celebrities / Re: Photos Of Kate Upton, The Sexiest Woman In The World by Elparaiso(m): 5:36pm On Jun 08, 2018
PHC1stBorn:
angry
Mumu post.
This woman no get Nyash na?
Sexiest women in the world are Nicolette_Shea, Victoriacakes, lisa Ann, Kendra lust, MoriahMills. Even nyomi banxxx is hotter than fire, you hear?

These names are familiar.

Where have I seen them before? Maybe my church roster, I'm not sure.

74 Likes 2 Shares

Romance / Re: Should I Buy My Gf A Phone Now Or Wait A While? Advice Needed Please. by Elparaiso(m): 12:29pm On Jun 08, 2018
Buy her a Note 8 if you truly love her.


Shebi your mumu na imported? cheesy
Sports / Re: England Vs Nigeria Friendly - 2 - 1 (Full-Time) by Elparaiso(m): 6:07pm On Jun 02, 2018
Maxcollins042:


This match is reminiscent of their invasion into our land and the slavery that followed.

They are out definitely out to batter us with every ounce of strength that they have.

In other words, they're out for blood...
Sports / Re: England Vs Nigeria Friendly - 2 - 1 (Full-Time) by Elparaiso(m): 6:05pm On Jun 02, 2018
According to Olamide,


I'm balling like it's World Cup and I'm gonna shine, right?
Other rappers be like Naija, them no dey reach finals.



grin grin

1 Like

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