₦airaland Forum

Fight between my siblings...
Boy-senseless Fat cow
Girl- useless tall broom stick
Boy - foolish fat born fool
Girl- stupid he goat will be sagging with dirty boxers..
Na only for food u dey get sense
Boy- #slap
Girl- slapsbback with tears, Na only my body u dey get power



#oya make i go separate fight...
I love those kids

Is that that Americans only use iPhone??

JeffreyJamez: Holy shit!!!!! That's hospital is close to my estate o!!!!....thank God I'm always indoors o!!!

Osadinizu beta hide under your bed

top10nigeria: The good thing about nairaland is you’ll never know me so I can write everything and not worry about my identity.
I work offshore and my Wife works offshore(Sub-sea Engineer). I work 2weeks tour while she works 4weeks tour.
The surest way of working offshore is to graduate first Class Engineering/Geo Sciences. My Wife had a first Class Chemical Engineering and Mine is Electronics. Production Oil companies won’t even invite you for Aptitude test if you do not have a 2-1 that is 4.0 and above. And now we have a lot of Nigerians with masters from UK, so its becoming harder for them to employ people with first degree. Now I am assuming you don’t have connections and your Parents are as broke as mine were when they were sending me to school. So that is one path to working offshore and I will call these people employed directly by the Oil companies as Level 1.
Another path is to be a Technical Non-Pro, eg. Cook, Secretary, medical, laundry, welder, painter, deck hands, etc… To make it easier, I will label this Level 2. Most of these people are on contract so they don’t get same level of compensation.
Eg. The average cook/laundry staff earns 840,000/yr
Average Technical Support eg. Pipe fitter/secretary/Welder etc will earn 4-8million a year
But the level 1 guys earn more.
Eg. Personally I earned a total remuneration of 32million last year and my wife Earned 23million last year. (I work for the majors while my Wife works for a Drilling Company – the majors(Exxonmobil / Total/ Shell / Chevron / Agip) always pay more than the drilling (Schlumberger / Transocean / Halliburton)
So the first thing I want those who want to work offshore to do is decide what type of job they want to do offshore. Do you want to be Level 1 or Level 2?
Personally, I have 15yrs of experience and I work in a production company so I am high paying. I don’t think there is anybody within my team including the 2year olds who earns a TR of less than 20million.
So I will encourage you guys to go back to your books and read them so hard.
For me the best part of working offshore is the 2weeks off. .

you certainly said it all, it's important to have a set target

oneda: FPSO? yes PP? no. Rarely have business on PPs. Did Maritime Transport and I feel more at home on sea than on land though very risky work. I like the FPSO on my dp. Its a sweet place to be. Don't ever feel sea sick or have not yet. As a marine transporter i get to spend more days than normal engineers. Going to sea is a lifetime opportunity.



. . .It pays to master the sea trade. . .

how do u expect to get sea sick in a giant vessel like that with a top notch stability, little or no roll... Its more like normal day life...

koolkamzzy: Lol, okay take this as greenlight and proceed with full speed to Lagos FWB to embark pilot and proceed to berth..
Forget my location, I'm currently ashore.. I'm more into the downstream operations, so I got infos on happenings within the Nigerian Port

BUNKERERS ALERT

koolkamzzy: So na MT Diddi you dey? , I go come block you when you berth for NOJ tonight, make you leggo me some kegs.. Lol just kidding bro

bia, if I catch u... We are currently at anchor at the Guinea Gulf, no green light yet to come in.. You fit push ur barge come make i put you for trouble.... But come O, what are u doing in lome? Cos that's where she'll berth tmrw

poiZon: what is the prerequisite pls?
i did mandatory too

Since you have a valid stcw and tanker familiarization, adding Huet can be an added advantage, but it's all for low level ratings... Since the crowd is booming up now in the maritime sector, things av gotten pretty harder for new comers, new laws are added everyday, requirements for a low level rating is seriously becoming harder to get...
You should just target a vessel, maybe a service boat and just knock up your experience and gather up sea time which will help u in the long run...

poiZon: bro i need a shippng job, hw i fit go abt am. hv almost all d papers from safety to oiltanker familiarizatn n medicals. thnx

tanker familiarization and medical has a tiny chance of getting on board a reasonable sea going vessel...

sirugos: ur name is very funny. Do U know about piperalpha tragedy? If U have written Nibosh exam you will know more on it. @op. Working in offshore or land. Is a nice experience. It makes you meet several kind of people both white and black. I represent land for now. Gbaran LNG bayelsa

I have spotted lng bayelsa like twice and it's an amazing mighty yellow vessel springing almost 290m LOA, if u work on board the goddess then I envy u broda

experimentist: Igbo boy, must you add money to ur. Name?

yes ke... Na money be my surname

chukz4real: You should be talking about swamp and not deep waters I suppose. The houseboats used in swamp will get lost if it dares crosses to seawater. Offshore, aside the FPSO's and platforms, you have thruster enabled vessels mostly owned by Sea Trucks Group named Jascons....

my friend what are u even saying, 80% of sea truck vessels are service boats of not more than 100m LOA... Am a 3rd officer on board Mt diddi (that's if you've heard of her) and what do u know about thrusters?

Working offshore is more of an art which is developed through experience rather than knowledge..
When both experience and knowledge are merged in the best manner, you can definitely master the techniques...

jimmy4x: na so una dey find wahala, must you mention igbo?? aren't SOME yoruba girls dirty too??
b4 u insult me, I'm a yoruba boi

I hope say u see "emeka" for my name so am not a tribal biggot

As for those of us working offshore, Ph Babes will fly speed boat to come cure your Konji... Bonny... Oh Bonny Babes

What about us also working offshore but not under oil transportation

Where is Seun's dog on the list?

We all know that badoo is a prostitution net... I no surprise .
Abeg open a blog and leak her flat bum bum and chest

Lol this is hilarious... All this igbo dirty gals sha.... Abeg finish am as a sharp guy

Humility

I advice you all to download and read this book.. 'The secret terrorist " it explained more on the above list

rexkexmilan: "So" rich
I believe that's an exaggeration.

nope.. Not an exaggeration....

Hmm... Just like me.. I was a bad poor student in all my time in school...
Now I can't explain how I got so rich

My LG g2.... Awesome super battery life.. U can browse for review

This just came in from my wife this morning....
Am so scared right now

I woke up with 14 missed calls from different family members... Only to call them back and hear this nonsense

mikkyangel: there is a difference between killing yourself (work kill urself)and grabbing that opportunity when it comes calling...do you know how many akata(black americans ) who work for my friend ...James in Baltimore? (doing menial jobs/cleaning cars he resells?)..or is the fact that most of my friends/n9ja guys i meet here are still struggling to make ends meet, (some of them 5 years on, after dey 1st came here)..? This ground nor easy,i nor see job for 4 good months (2012) wen i 1st came here, and when i got my 1st job,it was 4hrs to, and 4hrs back to home,to do a 7hrs job..(inglewood to Santa Anna by Bus)..

Bro, hustling wen dey blood , dey blood..man won retire at 40, so dont blame me.....i dont think u know d kind pressure we wen dey abroad are facing.(most guys here dont wanna visit n9ja, because nothing dey dem pocket,)....they taught coming to yanky,was heaven.

i thankGod for nairaland, i got 90% of info here, planned well before stepping out..(Poland 2008) ..


So if u are not Satisfied, after paying over 450k to a stranger you meet online (me), and got all your packages without being scammed, then you have a problem...Mayb you will be satisfied when you meet a scammer someday.....abi nor b so?

Hahahahaha Chai... Mikkey sure has a charming sense of humor ...
My anger came at the end of our deal... If say I no get moni my package for still dey with ur Bro and it boils down to communication.. Yea I spend so much in the opening deal and I neva for one day had a "scam" feeling towards u since I went tru half ur thread before paying u.
As for those lazy nigg*s janding without a plan, I pity for them,.. You are a diamond dealer and I pointed that out in my earlier post, my own be say make u dey carry ur buyers along happily.
Me don dey flex my lappy and new fone ,the USB fan arrived DOA broke in half .
Keep up the good work, but try dey pet us u hear ...

mikkyangel: Are you looking for mr perfect? Why not buy from jumia? No b ur mate dey run this thread? I get calls morning, afternoon, nite and midnite (attending to clients approximately 21hrs a day) and you are here telling me about communication Palava....tell me howmany pre-order thread have them foreign phone numbers listed here? Do you know how many phone calls wake me up per nite? And because I like money/i dont wanna switch off my phone or give my clients time table to reach me.u are here forming important client...u nor well!

Need I remind you , this thread has been on 7days a week,24hrs a day for the last 15months."U FIT WEAR MY SHOES"? No sick leave/ i can't even travel out of this city for one day..so tey women when I catch online dey Vex for me say I nor gree come play away match..


You are supposed to allow atlist 24hrs for ur questions to be answered, no be to dey rush rush..most sellers I asked questions since Friday, have not even replied me, perhaps till Monday.

Bro no be fight, there is nothing wrong with Wat I said, this is my first time of dealing with u and it's open for me to point out Wat I wasn't satisfied with... No sha use work kill ursef,

I got my items from mikkey yesterday....
Items where okay as described, but it wasn't easy after all..
I have a few of my own observation to point out when dealing with mikkey.
Purchasing power 8.5/10
Reliability 9/10
Customer communication 4/10

I can't stress the fact that u get the value for ur money and your items in great condition but the wary part with Mikey is his communication, I don't know about u guys but I didn't have the best of it.
Dealing with him in the future is an option I will reconsider.

Today.... I'd be going to work the way I came to this earth...
Wearing clothes is too mainstream
In Jupiter where I came from, clothes are illegal

Simple.... Force a broom stick into their d¡ck hole....
......