₦airaland Forum

Aikon:
Enjoy!!!

My collection of random funny wedding pics
Please add if you can

True love !

ritababe:
i buy gift for him all the time


if i dont give him the shirt who should i give?

to ur pa.....pa

dotcomnamename:
[size=20pt]Chelsea will go trophyless again this season... Mark my word!

I said it last season too! [/size]

Go & Die

You mean we should stop eating suya right Na lie

toykathy:
sell and buy ur goods here. Does dat makes NL a market?

market , marketing , marketer or marketed na you sabi ...
*Sweets Wednesday *

akinsadeez:
36

got it damn right

ALKARULEZ615:
Loving up?

Yup loving up

chaloner:
1. When thief thief thief thief thing, e don
red be that. Wahala dey o.
2. Year wey get January dey get December o.
3. No matter how snake long reach, e no fit
wrap imself around palm tree from bottom
to the top.
4. If needle fall inside river, dem no go fit
see am pick again o.
5. Na fly wey no get Special Adviser dey
follow dead body enter grave (no wonder we
have so many Special Advisers in
Government)
6. Do to other people wetin you want other
people to do to you.
7. No matter how okro plant grow reach, e no
dey tall pass who plant am. When time to
harvest am reach, the owner go bend am
down.
8. If woman deny man food, na man go still
chop am.
9. Person wey no chop beans no dey poo
beans o.
10. Dem say love is blind. If blind person
lead another blind person, both of them go
fall inside pit.
11. Na people wey dey use Mace fight for
assembly Mace go tear head, no be me wey
siddon jeje for my house.
12. D water wey Buhari don take eye cry for
naiJa go fit make ocean for Katsina.
13. If army slap you, you go know say police na
your friend
14. pikin no fit compare prick with him papa.
15. you no need spoon to chop slap
no matter how chicken fly e must still come down
16. Na only person when get patience well-well,
go fiti cook stone sotay e go done reach to chop.
17. Where there is a will, you go meet relative plenty.
18. Out of all lizard when lie-down ontop roof for sun, na only the one when belle dey worry am, go fiti know hinself.
19. The run when buffalo run after wey hunter shoot am wound, na to save him own life TOGETHER with hunter life, make am dey run.
20. No how wey hungry fiti wire bush rat, wey he go forget himself put leg near the place when only one ripe banga dey for ground, because
na trap be dat.
21. Na the ting when bush rat take eye see for night, come make am by-force dey wakka SOFTLY for afternoon.
22. Man pikin when take eye see die, begin dey run like antelope, nogo remember the leg when dey pain am before.
23. No how wey tortoise wakka go far, na for inside hin house he go sleep that night.
24. Monkey no fine, but him mama love am.
25. Over-sabi person when carry him dog go sell, come take the money buy baboon for market, go regret hinself and cry say "had I known", when time reach.
26. Na as goat take stand for market na ehm dem dey price am.
27. Pikin wey no play today must play tomorrow
28. If we pound yam inside Bill Gate's jet and cook delicious soup on top Bill Clinton's head, a clueless President will still remain clueless!!!
29. bosom wey stand gidigba today must fall tomorrow
30. Rake from today till tomorrow you no fit use teeth grind bottle
31. Small girl wey no wan sidon for one place, na one prick go advice am one day.
32. Pikin wey say him mama no go sleep, him ma no go sleep
33. Person wey say my water no go boil, him own no go hot.
34. Na person wey don chop beleful dey ask for big meat
35. rolling stone na person push Am..
36. he who fights and run away, na fear dey catch am.
37. you no fit use big prick threaten ashawo
38. na co-operation naim make rice full for inside POT.
39. Person wey madman don bite before if I'm see mechanic he go take off
40. -no mata how u wash yansh,e go still smell.
41. -Sunday wey go sweet,na Friday we go know.
42. No matter hw u shake am reach... D last drop of ur piss belong to ya boxers...
43. Dey say Monkey fast Monkey fast, na becus tree near each orther
44. Oldman wey snatch small pikin cap wear for head, na him say make pikin play wit him head.
45. Coakroach like to dance but fowl no dey give am chance at all
46. Na small small pen!s take dey grow
47. Dem no dey cut left hand commot for body sake of say e dey useless
48. If u say nothing dey happen,put fire for ur neighbour house na
49. E dey hard for persin wey dey pray for talkless of persin ey dem swear for.
50. No matter how river cold,fish no go wear sweater.

you again

Na pesin wey drink tea go look for overtea

Pikin wey dey laugh wen he dey miss road , no go fit reach him destination at all

Na when cat chase rat so tee he no reach am , him come do mouth like sey him never want to chop am

slimzypink:
the insider is Ini edo I guess

No bi her you can guess again GUESSTER
Ini carry go Jare !!!!!!!!!

egopersonified:
Dear nairaland family, I regret to announce the death of my husband on thursday the 4th of Dec, 2014. May his gentle soul find eternal rest. Amen.

RIP

ijobaooorun:
Sin is what destroys our soul and denies our encounter with GOD ALMIGHTY

Almighty God will guide and protect we all throughout the remaining of this 2014 and bring us all into the wonderful and blessing year of 2015 if you believe hit like !
*sweets Monday *

rawpadgin:
that's not an option, thanks all the same

dude one word for u ! get life ....

tomistelle:
Wenger is a coach

Coach abi na player ...
* Sweets Sunday *

What's the name of this movie

Aki Brain Dude ... LMFAO@we don't count babies .....

Live by example Mr Pastor

Blizzyblinkzy:
It doesn't look real

movie tin

Agimor:
98% nairalanders didn't finish reading this epistles.

99.1/2 % didn't finish reading it sef

klanpeb:
ours is teach and preach while tere is time

Time waits for nobody treasure every moment you have it might be your last .
* Sweets Monday *

Pennywise:
looks like 35 squares to me.

Great attempt .. But ....

Check well

englishmart:
drug trafficking isn't a good business! Nobody will put you in prison for doing a legitimate job....

Do things rightly and stay free from the law.

That's how we survive here in France

obey the law and be free

BrownKnight:
This is so sad.

Pouring of water on students should be banned in ALL schools.

It was just his time to go and nothing more ... RIP dude

kennygee:
She is pretty and looks Nerdy.

I am not surprised she is based abroad

A 13 year old writing a book with a Title like this shows she is receiving quality education.

She looks studious and happy, innocent, I'm sure she doesn't have an Instagram or twitter account.

I just have a lot of admiration for her.

Her Dad must be so proud, he must have had her at a young age.

So many have aborted young stars like these on a quack's table.

You have said it all

Seun:
Me too.

picture or .....
@topic ..,just only kiss from mikel the girl don go gaga ga ....

datguru:
And you call this your encounter? Listen let me share briefly, an experience with aro baggers in RSUST ( rivers state university of science and technology)

On a cool evening after lectures, I followed the back gate with my friends and we were going towards azikiwe. Just before the gate, we saw a nigga sitting in the field and we all knew he is a nigga because odin is working in him.

Nigga: aboy ! Aboy!! Aboy!!!

We all kept silent as if we didn't hear

Nigga: wey you! Aboy!!!

We then decided to stop to avoid problem.

Nigga: three of una make una come, infact make only that middle guy come ( that's me)

I was a fresher and the other guys were in year 3 so I think he had a target.

Nigga: na you abi, so na you!!

I was shivering and wondering what he meant.

Me: senior boy wetin I do now, I just follow my friends dey come back from lecture.

Nigga: shut up! I dey talk you dey talk, you want make I start to dey cut you? So na you! You follow for one of those guys wey fall our man for mile 2, no worry, you go join am today.

I was shivering very bad and my heart was pounding heavily to the extent I was stammering.

Me: senior boy no be me oo, I just come new for this place. Abeg no be me.

Nigga: you say wetin? Your own don be! No worry, you go see, shey na you be their chief strike! Na me personally go comot your eye. Na you ! You think say I no go recognise you ?

I almost pee on my clothes, then he dragged me down to where some other niggas were sitting, by this time my friends have took to their heels.

Nigga: Aro, see the manchin here! ( Talking to the other guys)

Aro: aboy wida, who goes!

I was quite, I just felt like the ground should open and swallow me. Then he comes close to me.

Aro: wetin you hold there?

Me: na just my phone and wallet

He comes closer and collects them after searching me thoroughly.

Aro: start from here dey run dey go, make you no look back. If you mumu, we go just waste you here. *slaps my head* oya dey run.

Me: I took to my heels and ran as fast as my legs could carry me.


Even as I'm typing this thing, I'm still shivering. No be small thing that day

one word ! COWARDICE

joseph1832:
You and me
Ur mama
And ur cousin too
Rolling down
The steps on vogue
Coming up slamming cadillac doors

Doors heaven will only open for children's of God , are you one of them
* Sweets Wednesday *

msmon:
A 35 year old Nigerian man was sentenced to death today November 25th by a Malaysian High Court for trafficking in 251.66 gm of methapethamine.

Abuchi Ngwoke, was arrested in May 2012 at a Malaysian airport. He had swallowed the drugs.

The High court judge described Ngwoke's testimony about swallowing gemstones in Nigeria before traveling to Malaysia as absurd. A date is yet to be set for his execution.

Details to follow...


Source: http:///psL2c6oW8G
http://lindaikeji..com/2014/11/nigerian-sentenced-to-death-in-malaysia.html

RIP in advance dude

Trash

U

dicefrost:
I was still deep in thoughts when the nurse returned, with a bunch of keys. She signaled me to follow her. Hannah simply refused to follow us. We climbed down a flight of stairs leading to the exit. Her car was packed in front.

"were are we going?"she asked, as we both took our sits in the car.

"new Benin" i replied.

She started the engine and our journey started. As it progressed, i placed my head on the dash board, thinking and sobbing. A lot of thoughts flashed through my head.

Ruth was pregnant, she was sold by our friend, drugged and raped. I imagined the horror she went through, and her eventual hospitalisation.

I wasn't left out of the suffering either. I had lost my virginity to a boy who had moved on very quickly. I was caught in a hotel room with a boy, like a common prostitute. I also wondered what would have happened to me if i didn't have the courage to escape from the hotel.

In all, my life had taken a negative turn, i hated who i had become. Is there any way back for me.? I wondered, as tears fell freely from my eyes.

I felt the car slowing down and pulling over. I knew we hadn't gotten to new Benin yet. I lifted my head from the dash board to see what was happening.

It all seemed clear in front of me, there was no reason for us to stop. I turned towards her with my tear filled face, wondering why she stopped.

Her attention was solely focused on me. She had a look of sadness and pity registered on her face. Her gaze provoked more tears, as i started sobbing loudly.

"here, stop crying " she said, handing over a white handkerchief.

" i can tell that you are different from your friends "she continued.

" how did you get involved with them? " she asked

" i don't know, i thought we were friends "i replied in between sobs.

I couldn't control my tears anymore, i was already crying bitterly. The reasons for my tears were many, sadness and sorrow overwhelmed me. I just felt like dying. I opened the door quickly and ran out of the car, i had no idea where i was or what i was doing.

I came to a stop a short distance away from the car and fell on the shrubs. I felt i was going mad. The nurse walked up to me, and held me up. She hugged me, holding my head tightly to her shoulder.

"it's ok, i know this must be difficult for you, just know I'm here for you." she said, in the kindest voice i have ever heard.

I laid helplessly on her shoulder, crying profusely. My tears soaked her white uniform. We were beginning to get attention from passers-by.

She held me by my waist and lead me back to the car, and held the door open for me to sit.

"Ella, talk to me, what have you girls been up to"? She asked again.

I felt a little bit more comfortable, there was nothing else to hide, the truth will soon be out and everyone will know. I revealed all the events of the past few weeks, including all the minor details.

I told her about our regular escape from school, and how we usually pay the gate man. She did not seem shocked to hear any of it, not even the escapades with Ehis. She listened patiently and quietly to my story.

"but why Ella? Why did you choose to follow this path, why ignore your parents discipline? " she asked, looking straight at my eyes.

" i just wanted to be loved, i wanted someone to understand me. He was just there for me, he....... " i stopped to wipe the tear from my eyes and control my weeping.

She held my head up, and turned it towards her.

"I'm sure your parents love you, just give them a chance, you can be a better person"

"they don't, no one has ever spoken to me like this. " i replied coldly.

She let go of me and turned towards the windscreen.

"no one is a perfect parent, my daughter was about your age when she gave birth. " she said, as a feeling of sadness overwhelmed her.

I wiped my tears when i heard those words. I simply decided not to cry anymore, knowing that it could have been worse. She looked at me again and said" you can be a better person, don't give up on yourself "

She started the engines, and our journey continued. Few minutes later, we were at Ruth's house. It wasn't exactly a mansion, it was the habitat of people who earned decent wages.

Ruth's mother's car was parked outside. The nurse pulled over at the side of the road, and we walked a short distance yo Ruth's house. The front door opened before we got to it.

Ruth's mother came out of the house, well-dressed with a bible under her armpit. She looked set for evening service. We hurried quickly to catch up with her, while she was struggling to lock the door.

"Excuse me ma" the nurse called out, to Ruth's mum, as she hurried towards her. I stayed back at the gate, fearing the reaction from Ruth's mum when she hears about her daughter.

I was too far out to hear the conversation that ensued between them, but Ruth's mother's countenance changed, she looked worried and began to panic. She got into her car in a hurry and drove off. While the nurse and i got into hers, and headed towards my house.

I still managed to get home a little early. My mum had returned from work, she was watching a movie in the sitting room. I greeted her and walked towards my room quickly to avoid being noticed. My eyes were swollen, and my face was a mess.

I threw my school bag on the floor, took off my uniform and tied a towel. I wanted to wash off the day's events from my body and mind. I needed to rest badly.

As i headed for the bathroom, my room door opened. My mum walked in. I tried to hurry into the bathroom to avoid any confrontation with her, i did not want another fight.

"Ella wait " she called out, halting me in my stride.

I stopped, without turning around to look at her. I anticipated a question and answer section.

" what is wrong my daughter, you don't look happy"she said in a rather nice tone .

I was quite shocked, my mother doesn't usually speak to me in such manner. I turned around to make sure it wasn't someone else. My eyes met my mum's. She noticed my swollen eyes and battered face.
"have you been crying? " she asked, moving closer to me.

I paused for a moment, it was quite obvious. There was no use denying.

" Ruth is in the hospital " i muttered

" oh what happened to her? "

" she fainted" i replied, convinced within myself that i haven't told a lie.

My mum tried comfort me. Her attempts were lame but duly appreciated. I went into the bathroom, as she left for the sitting room. I bathed slowly, wondering what would transpire between Ruth and her mum.

I stepped out of the bathroom after fifteen minutes. I wore my night cloths, and retired for the day, hoping to fall asleep as quickly as possible. However, sleep eluded me. My eyes remained wide open. I continuously replayed the day's events in my head, wondering how it would all end.

The sound of my door handle turning interrupted my thoughts. My mum walked in again, with her placed on her ear. She spoke for a while with the person at the other end before turning her attention to me.

"that was Ruth's mother " she said, giving me a suspicious look.

I sat up on the bed, knowing fully well that the game was up.

" she gold me a lot of things i don't understand. Ella, what happened? Who did you go to see in a hotel? Is what I'm hearing true? "

I looked at my mum's face, i could feel her disappointment and frustration . I bowed my head slowly and began to shed tears again. I knew i had let everyone down, i was a bad person.

" so it's true? This is what you have become? "she said, with a shaky voice. She too was close to tears. She sat on my bed and buried her head in her palm. She seemed greatly pained, and i knew it was all my fault.

I knelt down beside her and began apologise profusely. I tried go explain the day's event to her as accurately as i could remember, while tactfully leaving out anything that had to do with Ehis.

"you see why i told you not to associate with those girls? Imagine yourself in Ruth's situation" my mum said after listening to my story.

"promise me you won't tell daddy" i pleaded.

My mum obliged, as she left me to continue in my thoughts. I heaved a sigh of relief as she left, believing that it was all over. I made a resolution within myself never to return to this way of life. I wanted to be a better person.
***************** *********************

Ruth resumed school after about one month of absence. She was looking quite different. She was much more withdrawn and anti-social than she used to be.

The news of her miscarriage and apparent rape had been on everyone's lips. Though there were different versions of the story, they all seemed to have emerged from one source, Hannah.

She had made new friends, and never seemed to care about what happened to Ruth. I was the only person Ruth had. She never failed to express how much regret, pain and embarrassment she had caused herself and her family. I could feel her pain, i was just thankful it wasn't me.

We watched with keen interest as Hannah and her new found friends continuously absconded from school and returned unsuspectingly. It surprised me how easily she could influence people. Each time i saw her friends, it was like seeing myself all over again.

Two weeks passed, as we neared the end of the term. It was a typical monday morning. The last lecture before break had just began, Hannah and her friends left the classroom with their bags hanging from their shoulders, heading towards the gate house.

Ruth and i went straight to the principal's office, to alert him. The principal was a stout old man, known for his extreme punishments. He was angered by our news. He walked hurriedly towards the gatehouse at the back of the school, hoping to catch Hannah and her colleagues.

Ruth and i walked briskly behind him, struggling to keep up with his pace. Halfway through the journey, i felt thirsty and exhausted. I was panting heavily. It had been going on for quite a while now, i waved it off as stress.

As i struggled to keep pace, my vision became blurred, eventually turned dark, i felt weightless and powerless. I tried to call out to Ruth, but my vocal cord produced no sound. From that moment, i had no idea where i was, or what was happening.
.**********

I opened my eyes slowly, trying to figure out where i was. I knew i had passed out, a while ago, but i couldn't guess how long. I turned my head sideways to look properly at the figure sitting in front of me.

My vision was inaccurate and blurry at first. As it began to brighten, i could see my mother sitting close, with tears flowing from my eyes. I looked around the room carefully, it was obvious i was in a hospital.

Fear gripped me as i saw the sadness on my mum's face. I was scared that something bad may have happened.

"what happened? "i asked, trying to prop myself up on the bed.

My mum handed me a piece of paper. I snatched it from her, and perused it's content. It made no sense to me, it was mainly medical jargons.

" i don't understand, what does it say? " i asked as i handed the paper back to her.

" you are pregnant "she said, in between sobs.

My heart skipped a beat, my head felt lighter. If i were standing, I'd have fainted again. I broke down in tears, thinking it was not possible. I remember i swallowed the pills Hannah gave me.

" no no it has to be a mistake "i screamed.

" blood and urine tests have confirmed it" my mum replied

I held my head in my palm, utterly confused and dejected. I had no idea what to do or say. I felt like dying. I could feel my energy draining away. I wanted to cry, but It seemed my tear glands had dried up, or my pain was more than tears.

My father burst into the room, and screamed at the top of his voice.

"so you have disgraced me finally, you have brought shame to me"

He tried to hit me, but my mum held him back.

"she is pregnant, don't hit her please".

I just laid motionless on the bed, at this point i couldn't care less if i was dead. My life was empty and meaningless.

"who is responsible for this "my father shouted

" Ehis" i blotted out without hesitation.

"Ehiagwina's son?'

'yes'

"get up, we are going to his father's house".

My dad dragged me roughly from the bed, he led me out of the door, not minding my current state of health. My mum tagged along, as we headed for Mr Ehiagwina's house.
*****
The atmosphere was tense, the reception was hostile. Mr Ehiagwina had labelled my dad a failure for not being able control the "small prostitute" he had in his house. He was convinced that his son wasn't responsible for my pregnancy, even before hearing his side of the story .

He ordered us out of his house, but my dad insisted on hearing from Ehis first. Mr Ehiagwina called him over the phone, and ordered him to come home immediately.

We sat and waited quietly for about 30 minutes. I stood behind my mum who was weeping profusely. My face was devoid of emotions, i had cried myself to the limit. Although i was falling apart inside, my countenance didn't reveal much.

Ehis arrived no sooner than expected, he entered the living room unannounced, perhaps expecting to find his father alone. The faces before him threw him back. He paused for a while and examined our faces closely.

No doubt, he must have deduced the situation appropriately. He reorganised himself and greeted everyone. His father pointed a finger at me.

"do you know her?"he asked

"we attend the same church" he replied calmly.

"she said she is pregnant for you"

"Jesus! "Ehis exclaimed, putting his hands on his head.

" daddy, i don't know what she is talking about" Ehis denied

"shut up, the catechist caught both of you in church the other time" my father cut in

"that was then, she was my girlfriend, but we broke up when i caught her in a hotel with a man" Ehis continued.

" i told you she is a prostitute " Mr Ehiagwina contributed.

" she has been sleeping with odion's brother, what ever she is carrying there must belong to him," pointing at my abdomen.

" did i not catch you with him in a hotel? " Ehis asked

The entire scene was inhuman and embarrassing for me and my family. Being called a prostitute with circumstantial evidence made me want to die.

Who would have believed that Ehis would ever treat me like this? Few weeks ago, he took my virginity, he was my knight in shining armour. Today he is the one labelling me a LovePeddler.

I bent my head in shame, as everyone turned towards me, waiting for a response . Any reply i give would make no difference, I'd be damned anyway.

"Odion's brother has returned to Malaysia, you can take your prostitute daughter and bastard grand child to him there, but for now get out of my house" Mr Ehiagwina barked.

My dad jumped to his feet and hurried out of sight. My mum and i walked slowly towards the door. I walked closer to Ehis and whispered to him.

"you ll come looking for your child someday "

He totally avoided eye contact with me, he knew deep within himself that he was the father.

My dad's car was not parked outside anymore, he had left us in anger. My mum and i took a cab home. We cried all the way home, other passengers looked at us in amusement, wondering what was wrong.

We got home, me and my mum went in separate direction. I went to my room and continued my tears. Ighalo joined me in my room, and cried along.

About 10pm, a sharp knock on the gate awakened everyone. Ighalo went outside to open. My father staggered into the compound, towards the house. I came to the seating room to have a good view of him.

The stench of alcohol and vomit escorted him as he staggered along. He began to utter several senseless words

"you disgrace me you disgrace yourself. I'm a failure, but your education is over, you and your bastard. "

I knew he was referring to me, i was grieved. I had never seen my father drunk before. As i watched my father throwing up, and my mother weeping, i felt terrible. I knew i had brought shame and disgrace to my household, and myself. I had made mistakes that would change my life forever. All it really took was one wrong turn.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@THE END@@@@@@@@@@@@@

What a great story with great END ... Well don dude you're indeed a great writer