₦airaland Forum

elyna:
i agree with you I've given friends conditions like this before just friends no feelings, they always end up developing one. we know they had an agreement but things change, she never planned it, it happened either way he's still in soup. he must have been nice to her enough to make her fall deeply, honestly I've got nothing else to say. sorry to ask are you the person in question? you're so passionate about this issue or are you doing same to one innocent girl out there?

To answer your question, no I'm not. I'm passionate cos I just wanna make things a little bit clear. The dude has received so much hate on a Friday morning I feel whatever beer he drinks tonight won't make him high cos of depression. Things changing ain't his fault. He simply reminded her of the original terms and condition. I just feel if he isn't down with the new status quo he should walk out of the whole thing. Unfinished business or not.

Funkybabee:
I didn't mean not to blam her,although she has her own fault but still men shouldn't take woman as a mere toy which they can play any how.I will still repeat it again don't friendzone a woman who you know that she have feelings for you because to me that lady give trying that she might win his heart later on but it's turn out negative and it Will pain her as far of love she has for him.so put her into your shoes maybe ur daughter, unclee with her condition before hand cuz he cannot denied he didn't know what is her mind before saying that out and still i can't believe this story he just want to look positive in the eyes of people.

Baby first of all I'm not uncle, I can even be your agemate you don't know. 2ndly, love is not try your luck. He's not a wizard to read her mind also, not like some diabolical girls here. It's what he discusses with her he works with. If you wanna go into a r/ship with anyone, draw up a contract with terms and conditions. So if he doesn't marry you @ the end and you call Sango for him, even Sango will have no choice but to heed your call. With mighty thunder.

Funkybabee:
I didn't mean not to blam her,although she has her own fault but still men shouldn't take woman as a mere toy which they can play any how.I will still repeat it again don't friendzone a woman who you know that she have feelings for you because to me that lady give trying that she might win his heart later on but it's turn out negative and it Will pain her as far of love she has for him.so put her into your shoes maybe ur daughter, uncle that man shouldn't supppse to agree with her condition before hand cuz he cannot denied he didn't know what is her mind before saying that out and still i can't believe this story he just want to look positive in the eyes of people.

Baby first of all I'm not uncle, I can even be your agemate you don't know. 2ndly, love is not try your luck. He's not a wizard to read her mind also, not like some diabolical girls here. It's what he discusses with her he works with. If you wanna go into a r/ship with anyone, draw up a contract with terms and conditions. So if he doesn't marry you @ the end and you call Sango for him, even Sango will have no choice but to heed your call. With mighty thunder.

TheGreatIYANU:
LUKE 13:31-32

Is it your father that wrote that verse? Abeg go sidon for gutter!

LordAdam16:
Thanks mate.

Oh and please, there's a complete buffoon who is making a fool of himself by can't telling the difference between a radiologist and a radiographer on this thread. Just scroll to the end of the thread. If you could take a minute to educate his sorry a$$.

I'll be back on that thread on the 4th of April.

-Lord

No need to educate him. Unemployment will do justice to that.

alexialin:
Am already at work. Seated jejely on my chair. waiting for clients.

In between I need to decipher wella... Too many fuckboiz around

You nko? U no go work?

But I hope fuckboiz have not damaged my sweetheart.

alexialin:
Am already at work. Seated jejely on my chair. waiting for clients.

In between I need to decipher wella... Too many fuckboiz around

You nko? U no go work?

I went oo. Not really work sha. A little bit complicated.

darlenese:
o

No
Men like u are!

You're funny!

Giel:
thanks, but u had d strength to reply so many people on this thread. lol.

Hope your day was awesome?

Giel:
thanks, but u had d strength to reply so many people on this thread. lol.

I woke up on the right side of the bed this morning...naija for you

prittygift114:
women do not date on e men because people like him love to hit and run....
And if u see nothing wrong in toiling with someone's emotions then let your emotion never meet anyone who cares about it.... That guy z used to such rubish don't u here him said he did it to someone before this recent one? Why spoiling other men's future wife....WTF!!!

Why did she agree?

sandraanakebe:
Read the post again... he said he is not ready to settle down yet and definitely not with the gal...which means that he never saw her as someone he would love to settle down with...

I rest my case.

Please rest. The weather is too cold.

2dugged:
That's why the first part of my comment is there, the truth is there are time wasters out there, most guys guys are just looking for who to warm their beds without any commitment,and they are willing to put up any charade to achieve their aim, that's why I even blame the lady for not asking for the terms and conditions before investing her time and emotions

Most guys? You've actually met most guys had or 2 things to do with them and can reasonably conclude that all they want is pillow on their bed? Ladies...

alexialin:


Yes o

Lol, na you decipher pass. Cmon, prepare make you begin go work. Oga go vex oo

elyna:
in this case someone is being used, the op didn't tell the full story im sure, business - relationship but no marriage how does it sound to you?

No one is used. They agreed to date. Mutual. He said he isn't in for marriage and she's down with it. Mutual. Whether he bleeped her once or a million times. Mutual. She turns around and demands for something she knows wasn't part of the 'deal'. Now that's called breach of contract. How does that sound like missus?

Berbierklaus:
May your days be long.

@ the paranoid logical people up there,y'all fools. Keep reiterating he told her jack up and down the thread like the hediots that you are.
I wish the lady is diabolical,so by the time she makes you as useless as a used tissue, you will think twice before walking up to a woman.

FOOLS

Just go ahead and tell us you're diabolical so we fools can avoid you. It's that simple.

Giel:
its really sad and shocking to me to see some of the responses on this thread. I mean for God's sake the guy told u, am not going to marry u, and u agreed to date him, now all of a sudden, he is a fool, he is evil, he deserves to be beaten, I mean what didn't I read? for being honest?? while u the bloody liar, who agreed to date him is now a '''victim''.
at least he told u d truth. he gave u a choice. tomorrow we ladies say we want a guy who is honest, who is good, kind, thoughtful. but when we see them. smh..
am going to have to read up on what u mentioned about the spread of ignorance, cause I can see it happens a lot.
u made some good points up there however ur last part made me sad, is that how u see all women. u don't see any good in them that u wonder why we were created?? if I'm misunderstanding ur words please let me know. I've seen some of ur posts and I like the way u reason so I would like to know.

I would have said one crate of beer for you also but I wouldn't want you tripping down the alley you know...*winks*. God bless your wisdom.

TheGreatIYANU:
I closed your thread after reading not wanting to reply, but for posterity sake and other guys out there who date girls 'for fun', you are a FOOL if you engage another human being emotionally only to dump her along the way.
My friend if it was your plan from the start to dump her as soon as you get what you wanted (whatever it is) YOU ARE A BIG FOOL!
Seun can ban me now.
Relationships are meant to be HONOURED! Every type of relationship is meant to be honoured and if you cannot honour a relationship that is supposed to lead to a final destination, again, YOU ARE A FOOL!
You are the type of guys who make ladies unecessarily insecure and leave wounds in their hearts, the brunts of which their husbands and children will deal with in the future.
My guy, once again, with the Spirit of God upon me, I tell you this, YOU ARE A FOOL! It is not an insult, it is a FACT.
REPENT!

I'm sure you didn't really mean this. Let's start with something clear, are you sure you've got His spirit in you? For real?

LordAdam16:
I think I have a valid point to make on this topic because I'm a moderate alexes. I'm not a complete alexes like this guy, but I'm a guy who reads and watch movies about love, but never gets it. Marriage sounds like a sh*tty arrangement (no offense to married folks), and I scoff when I see pre-wedding photos. I'm like this man laughing with glee with his wife-to-be could be her killer tomorrow. The majority of females in the US who die are killed by guys they're in a relationship with (as a gf or as a wife).

Alexithymia does have it's good sides, I'm a pragmatic humanist and a brutal realist. But it can be an awful curse in a sea of emotional no-holds-barred homo sapiens.

And that brings me to my main point. No matter how many times you tell a lady you don't want to marry her, it wouldn't stop her from falling in love and getting hostile when you remind her of your existing agreement. It doesn't matter if she's intelligent or dumb, a NASA scientist or a marketwoman, a 70 yr old or a 15 yr old, an introvert or an extrovert, a mel or a san.

Your ex was an exception not the rule.

And I'll know because I've NEVER being in a romantic relationship with anyone. I haven't dated anyone, and right now, wouldn't even if I had a gun to my head. Ladies, regardless of age, intelligence, or personality, are as fickle as the wind. They are only as reliable as a speck of dust in a hurricane. Which is evident by the fact that more than 80% of the ladies who read your account (most of them def educated), didn't even care to understand your position.

F*ck a lady more than once, and if you are cool, with good looks, and a bit of cash, she'll already be imagining her wedding night with you. You don't even have to date her. I know because it has happened to me severally. Before I said, you know what, f*ck this, I don't have the time, energy or will to pander to people whose self-confidence and decision-making ability are about the size of a pea.

Maybe it's the Nigerian factor, maybe it is a female thing. But I don't have reason to believe that it's either of those things. Marriage doesn't need to be a ceremony for the whites, so yeah the girl could ask you to just wife her on the road with an eligible clergyman, court person or JP on a lunch break. And clearly, the majority of males on this thread too have shown to not have simple comprehension abilities too.

Being honest and straightforward in all ramifications is worthless. That's why the Yoruba demons don't care. Convince her she's the only one and break her heart when you're done with her. Because whether you are honest with her from the start, she'll still see an expected end as a messy breakup. So, why bother yourself?

For me tho', I can't go through that hoop. Sounds like taking a flight from Lagos to London, then from London to Abuja, when I could just take a direct ticket from Lagos to Abuja. And I like to respect ladies even tho' they evidently don't respect themselves enough.

So, I'm not going to tell you what to do. You're an adult. But I'm going to tell you this for a fact.

Even if you gist a girl. Tell her there's no chance in hell that the relationship will end in marriage. And she agrees. Weeks or months down the line, she'll still fall in love (I don't know how to explain this, the closest I can get is that humans like to have what they can't get) and hope she can change your mind to marry her. And every time you tell her no (basically reiterating what you've told her since day 1), you'll just make her more desperate and hostile. And God help you the day she snaps. She could destroy your house or worse maim/kill you (whether it's an acid or a knife to the chest).

I'm incapable of loving a lady, so I don't NEED to maintain relationships whether platonic or romantic. It's physiologic, so I have it easy. For you and several other guys, all I can say is, be careful.

This is one instance where HONESTY IS A BAD POLICY THAT CAN POTENTIALLY RUIN YOUR LIFE. Unless you find an exceptionally lady, which as you've probably figured out is rare and there's no way of knowing if she'll be an exception before you go all in.



There is a huge difference between what people read and what they understand. It is actually a phenomenon. Read this BBC future article on the spread of ignorance. That article is just a foundation.

The majority of humans are zombies. I don't mean post-apocalyptic zombies in the movies. I mean healthy, educated zombies with jobs and families. And politicians, social engineers, advertisers, and marketers know this is the world's best kept secret.

The person you quoted def read the OP, but s/he comprehended something different. What s/he read was interpreted differently in her brain.

And even if it was interpreted correctly, it doesn't stop s/he from still having a distorted view point. It could very well be that s/he doesn't care if the OP said it pointedly clear that he wasn't interested in marriage from the get-go. S/he is probably disillusioned that it is not possible for anyone to say that or for anyone to really mean that, and that maybe it was a ploy by the OP to eat his cake and have it. And that the lady in the OP was manipulated, basically a victim of circumstance (despite her being a full healthy and educated adult capable of even co-managing a business with the OP).

The human brain is a marvel really, a bloody sick twisted marvel.

To your other post about ladies virtually painting something bad despite several good references simply because they did not have her way, that is another FACT. Have you looked at the divorce stats in the Western world? Or the near divorces that people call "happy marriages" in Nigeria with regular third-party mediation.

Most ladies want to have their way or raise hell. They'd change the narrative, do anything humanly possible to make sure they f*ck you over if you don't let them have their way. And if that includes tagging a beautiful relationship with terrific history as a mistake on a whim, then so be it.

There are exceptions, but everyone has a limit. A girl who you think is understanding you may just be piling it all up, waiting for that perfect moment to pounce on you with the favorite--I've been managing... (don't need to finish it, you get the point).

Seriously, you look at the female gender and if you're a creationist, you ask the question, why did God even bother? Like did Adam complain that he was lonely? There are animals that can reproduce without mating. So the reproduction reason does not fly. God created women to f*ck men up, and they've done a pretty good job, starting from the Apple.

-Lord

Dude, one full crate of beer for you, on the house. Do you fancy a full chicken to with it? I don't mind. Best writeup I've encountered. I'll discuss with my colleagues in the hospital today. Good writeup once more!

prince3009:
Sp if i spot a "sheep" in and decide to walk down the aisle with her and in the course of the relationship find out she was actually a wolf in sheep clothing, you expect me to continue with the marraige plans?

Good question.

Harbosede02:
did you even read what she wrote?? Dating someone without having d mind set of marriage with them is a total waste of time....relationships is a preliminary stage to marriage.....if its leads to marriage...fine bt if it doesnt...no shii


work on ur comprehension skill b4 attacking someone with insults next time.

Relationships are not preliminary stages to marriage. You can do better

2dugged:
People self, this is why it's better to ask for terms and conditions of a relationship before going into it to avoid stories that touch,by the way she seems like someone above 25 and you expect her to date without having marriage in sight?, the op sounds wicked,these are the the time wasters we keep advising ladies to stay away from

No, I expect her to be true to her words. If it's amala you want, ask for amala not garri. You will not die.

Funkybabee:
u better shut the hell out of your mouth, pls mind you am not in mood.what did I said that is wrong ? fooling and playing with someone heart and I said same thing will come back to him is that a curse. I don't think you know what love feeling really his because if so u won't be saying this nut!!! don't play or friend with who u know u won't marry simple

Lemme ask a question before you blow up. If he tells you he's simply in for dating not marriage and you agree whole heartedly, without a gun to your head, is he wrong if you turn around and demand for marriage and he refuses? Just take a little time to think about it. I think the lady wanted marriage from the onset but pretended she's also just in for mere dating hoping she could tie him down later on. Business gone wrong! Let her try that stunt on someone else. Perhaps she'll get lucky.

NotComplaining:
So now u sabi talk rights? The girl that doesnt have a dic*k is right-less abi?

Naija will continue carrying last in everything as long as ppl like you are allowed to breathe.

Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Loud-mouthed tout. Why don't you go and marry her?

darlenese:
Oga u go son gather enough STDs oooo

Are you saying ladies are doing STD promo?

darlenese:
U have successfully used a girl, wasted her time and u are here talking rubbish .

When her puna was sweeting u , did u allow advise her to date other guys that the relationship was for fun only ?















Na thunder go fire that utr blorkors

If thunder fire am which one you go enjoy?

alexialin:
No mind such guys. I wonder why the babe could not decipher that he's not the serious type. Such guys I smell them from afar and avoid them like plagues.
You can't come and waste my time. Smhhh.
He should pray she's not diabolic, if not his future don set be that.

Legend of the decipherer.

megareal:
You did right by telling her from the word go. She did wrong by agreeing and assuming she could later change your mind. You are not liable. She is an adult who agreed to your yeye conditions.

The earlier you get out, the better for you. But try with all your might to make it an easy breakup. If possible, let the fault be from her so you can avoid her wrath and still be friends.

Suffice me to say that some ladies still have all thier nuts intact, and you're one of them. God bless you.

Philpham:
OP u are very stoopi.d , after eating her puny u are letting her go. It shows u are among the 99% of irresponsible non-husband material in Nigeria.

People like you lack commitment, and eventually become serial cheaters in marriages.

I promise u , if you keep jumping from one woman to the other, u will never find a wife material and when u eventually do, she will cheat on you.

If it's me , I will break your head if you dump me. And I hope she does.

Just break it.

missyge:
if u dnt wana marry her den beeak up with her. The more ure tigeda d more she get d hope of u marryng her. By d way y dating smbdy u knw ure nt gonna marry? I dont blame her at all

Blame her for @ least being ok with just dating then waking up in the middle of the night to request marriage. You cannot ask for ogbono soup in mama put, start eating and shout on Iya basira that it is egusi you want midway into your meal. Even Iya basira will not answer you.

rosalieene:
Probably she fell deeply in love with you and started imagining a future with you.
Don't blame her.

Then let her settle down with that imagined future and leave the dude to rest in peace.

Outofsync:
What is self-centered in what he said now
He said he was dating the girl casually but ain't intrested anymore.
Marriage ain't by force and he said he didn't even mention marriage in the first place


Is comprehension an issue for you

Please help me ask her. I think English is failing us as a language.