₦airaland Forum

@rati ken

its ennyluv

@mimiko

u know we no dey for Texas again. (that was my texas picture).

@confiritch
thanks for that comment

@funlover
u really wanna know?

@seun.

no be true i talk?
at least we be omo onile now

@chiboyz'

thatz coz u've no sense of humor.
wait, what are u doing in Nairaland, all the way from England?
na negros dey here;
no wonder the joke no funny OR Na Lagos ENGLAND u com from?

@Fadajasi

u've no sense of humour

"Anything, anything," said the ambassador.

"First, you must buy me a 14-karat gold wedding band with a 72 carat diamond, along with a 28-inch studded matching necklace for our engagement."

Without hesitation, the ambassador picked up his cellular phone, called his personal accountant, told him the instructions, and said, "Yes, yes, I buy, I buy!"

The secretary thought that her first request was too easy, so she thought of a more difficult situation.

"Second, I want you to build me a 58-acre mansion in the richest part of the Hamptons along with a 40-acre summer home in the sweetest vineyards of France."

The ambassador picked up his phone, called his personal broker in New York, then called another broker in France, and after his quick conversation, he said, "Yes, yes, I build, I build!"

The secretary was very startled, and knew she must think of a final request that would be impossible to live up to.

"Finally," she said. "I'll only marry you if you have a 10-inch penis."

A sad face befell the ambassador, and he cupped his face in his hands. After weeping in his native language for a few minutes, the ambassador slowly lifted his head and said, "Ok, ok, I cut, I cut!"

Rubbing Her The Right Way

A few months after his parents were divorced, Little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"

Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.

One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.

Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"

@mimiko

its both past and present:

na mi u wan teach english or u don collect a nobel laurette award?

who is freezy?

Hired Help

A guy dials his home and a strange woman answers.

The guy says, ''Who is this?''

''This is the maid,'' answers the woman.

''We don't have a maid,'' says the man.

The woman says, ''I was hired this morning by the lady of the house.''

The man says, ''Well, this is her husband. Is she there?''

The woman replies, ''She is upstairs in the bed room with someone who I figured was her husband.''

The guy is fuming and says to the maid, ''Listen, would you like to make $50,000?''

The maid says, ''What will I have to do?''

The man tells her, ''I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the witch and the jerk she's with.''

The maid puts the phone down; the man hears footsteps and then two gun shots.

The maid comes back to the phone, ''What do I do with the bodies?''

The man says, ''Throw them in the swimming pool.''

Puzzled, the maid answers, ''But you don't have a pool.''

A long pause and the man says, ''Is this 567-5309

u really tried, it was nice

Iwajay

what do u really wanna see?

specify

funlover

mnbmhjyiuyhi

Chalkboard Culprit

One day a teacher went into her class room and saw the word, “penis” written in small letters on the chalkboard. She erased it and went on with the day's lesson. The next day, she came in and saw the same word on the chalkbaord, but a little bit bigger. She erased it and went on with her lesson.
Each of the next several days, the teacher would come in to find “penis” on the board, a little larger each time. She went in one morning, expecting to dinf it again, but instead the chalkboard read: “The more you rub it, the bigger it gets.”

mimi

na fight

@migines

no stress

@iwajay

wetin be your own sef (una wan go texas?)

Excel12,

if u no want ur girlfriend do the same for u, then be a good lad

YEMOOO
U GUYZ NEED SOME LESSONS

we all know that u read maths while u are alive

WHOS' THE BOSS?

A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite.

As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride. He said, "Here, put these on."

She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body.

"I can't wear your trousers." she said.

"That's right,'' said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family."

With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on."

He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.

"Hell," he said. ''I can't get into your panties!"

She replied, "That's right, and that's the way it is going to stay until your attitude changes.

ituen:
thats really funny

mimiko, whatz your stress?

what's wrong with u migines, is it because i've not been nice to you?
friendship na by force?

Bishop And The Ass

A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third!

The next day the local paper carried this headline: PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS. The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won. The paper read: PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the preacher to get rid of the donkey. The preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The paper headline the next day read: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.00.

The next day the headline read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.00. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey, lead it to the plains, and let it go. Next day, the headline in the paper read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. The Bishop was buried the next day.

una weldone ooooooo,

my name na Mr big man. i come from texas(everything about me is big including, ) .

one day i went to a restaurant, lo and behold, i saw one chick, i walked up to her and ask for her name, she said her name is Miss. Fine girl.
i asked her out, and immediately, she accepted to be my that night,  we got to my car outside the restaurant, and she saw my car, she was like; Hey, Mr, Big Man, your car is too big, and me being the proud man that i was, i answered and said "I'm a big man, i come from texas". when we got home, and she saw my house from outside, she was like; Haaaaaaaaa, Mr. Big man, your house is too big, and i answered the same way i used to answer when i was a man, i said i am a big man, i come from texas. i entertained her, (because she will soon entertain me), when we entered my bedroom, i found out that my Miss Fine Girl don dey on fire, even before i asked her home, she just dey rush me, and i be man now. next she don pounce on mi, when i enter her, guess what,  i discovered that My Miss. Fine Girl come also from texas.

se yoruba ni gbogbo yin nso latijo yi, e si wa n funck up, yoruba to yanranti lo ye kewa ko lodo awa omo yoruba to gbamuse[/color]