₦airaland Forum

shut:

SHUT ur mouth mehn... Did I just mention Sumone

space booked...

happy easter Nairalanders

o.p
na small pikin dey do u... u dont know nothing....

ireneony:
what if the girl punny na express road

Guy forget that tin 3" erect is just to small to satify any lady
the op is asking for help to increase his joystick not all these fallacies u are writing

ireneony , d craziest troll on nairaland 2014/2016 session... na ur face be dis, where v u been hiding all these days, under the sea I guess...

shyte

[b] I was so furious when I saw the piece of shiit vinshu created on the frontage calling that a thread...

shoro niyen

So if getting out of poverty is as easy as calculus mathematics, then most ladies won't wanna go into marriage or u think say na so most ladies like marriage reach... iffa hear ..
No worry, na just small time e Remain before it becomes a norm where Ladies will be the ones proposing and the tables will be turned..

Bible wey talk say women go dey propose, u tink say him no know wetin him dey talk, its not like the cause will be an assumed scarcity of men but rather scarcity of men who doesn't wanna carry any lady's responsibility, then , men can get what ever they could get in marriage without actually going into any marriage.. sex will be hawked on the street like puff-puff and baby mother will be the norm of the day, then one sister amaka will go and meet my unborn SON, ** fine boy, pls come marry me naa, don't worry about being the bread winner, I own a bakery**
Then my unborn son will smile and answer ** okay, go meet my Dad to pay my dowry**
And when she comes to pay the dowry ,I shall smile as I receive it, then i'll show her this thread
and she shall say unto me ** my amiable father-in-law sir, never mind the o.p(vinshu) she was high on cow dung the day she created this thread**
suprised... Then I shall ask ** how do u knw this**
Sister amaka :: she is my mother....
[/b]

This is second best comeback v witnessed this month, the first was
Bayern Munich vs Juventus uefa champagne league game
Cc: lalasticlala ,tallesty1, naijaboiy, tosyne2much

shoro niyen...

NAwa ooo

menabae:
,that number 4 can nevr happen,why should i spend on a guy?huh,that's left for sugar mommies

but e can spend on u cha regardless of if he's ur hubby yet or not...

Harmony92:
woa! U re so funny. 9ice one

Thankz ... it was actually a real life occurrence.... but Bae... u set oooo....

powerfulsettingz:
the question here is can any armed personnel enter the kingdom of God?

And, do u think David went to hell... ?

fwwins:
I have an advise for you

what advice broh....

karkinase:
I can relate wit dis, was Once in ur shoes back den during my 100L days after i used my last card to cook dis delicious rice n beans; based on d fact i was going for nite class (TDB) i jst quickly tasted it, hmmm hw delicious i Said to myself, unknowing to me that i wuldnt eat d delicious meal i had prepared. Fast forward to mornin i jst rushed back to my room after reminising on how i would enjoy my meal dat morning, mehn i was mistaken as this once delicious meal jst became poison barely 10hrs after cooking, I was pained to the bone as per say it was my last card.
Lesson Learnt :Dnt close ur food immediately after cooking especially beans as dis wuld allow for the vapour to condense n provide a moist environment for bacteria to act on. Sorry bro

Aahhh... no wonder... its true I closed it immediately after cooking....cos I was late fore lectures...

[b]And this happened to me today...
Coming back from school this evening, though tired but delighted about the delicious rice and beans concoction I cooked earlier in the mawing....
I stopped by at iya kudi's shop to get a half bag of pure water, she gave me d half bag and I was forced to ask:- iya kudi ,una boil this pure water , She just bone face to my jamb question...
in few minutes, I was at my home, opened the door only to be greeted by this foul stench that enveloped my room like say ostrich egg hatch...
where is this odour coming from, I asked myself.... ooooohhhh, then I remembered I had released a natural perfume from my wicked ass just as I was about to take my leave in the morning... I hastily open the windows, and sprayed the air freshener...
I dropped my bag and went out again to get a new airtel sim, within 30 minutes I was back, opened the door and again greeted by the foul stench and now even stronger... jeez, wetin dey smell gan self...my eyes fizzling about searching for what might be smelling, I don wash all my dirty plates naaw... I carry air freshener again spray everywhere... I carry water go bath as I don dey sweat like person wey run marathon..
After bathing, I still feel the hotness of the water on my body as I step into the room... ohh my God, dis odour still dey... wooh, I Neva get Tyne to dey search wetin dey smell bare make I chop first...I said to myself, smiling grimmly as I carry plate and spoon to serve myself...
I opened the pot and I nearly got a seizure , it oozed out strongly more than ever, still stunned and amazed but heartbroken looking at my lovely rice and beans concoction... already spoilt and smelling... Out of the love I have for the meal and as per say I no get chi-chi on me to buy even indomie, I took a spoonful of the concoction to my mouth nose-covered.... holy shiiiitttt.. warrisdis... Even a poison can never taste this horrible... I thought while I spit out the mess outta my mouth.. Ahhh na wetin man pikin go kon chop oooooo....

ooohhh, then I remembered the last cup of garri I had in my cupboard.... oooohhh Garri, I love u.... saving the life of Nigerian students since 1509BC... I brought out the life saver and took one of pure water which I bought earlier to dilute my solute.. I can feel its hotness even as I held it, well, I no get choice, I just put am like that , stirred the molecules together...

I lift up the first spoonful to my mouth, and I cudnt say for sure if na garrium sulphate I dey swallow or na Eba... Chai, d hunger wey don hammer my head no even let me notice the difference in taste I just dey carry out my business transactions dey go, I'd rather die of lassa fever than die of hunger..... I finished my GarrieEba......

Still unsatisfied with a half filled belly, I went to a female friends place with the hope of getting something to eat, As I dey go na hin I don dey pray say make manna from heaven dey fall for her house ooo...
God still answers prayer, I was greeted by the aroma of a well scented stew as I knocked on the door... ooohhh thank God...
ko! ko!! koko!!!
who be that... a masculine unfriendly voice answered( maybe Lalasticlala ) ...
its me Ercross, I seek for mhizkel.
She went out
pls, when is she coming back
Tomorrow....
haa, Gbese reh ooooo... Tomorrow keh
Depressed and saddened, I turned back and left...

Now am back at home lying on the carpet, **who go sleep on top bed for this heat**
the heat wey spoil my food because I no open the pot cover allow air enter as I was told by my next door neighbour tosyne2much....
Guess its one of those nights when we go to bed with an empty stomach....
All thanks to the heat



Hoping tomorrow will be a better day [/b]

This naira fall is really affecting the price of garri in the market....

Larryfly:
U still dey drink garri for this lassa period?? When you die now your people go blame buhari

broh... its a free world... u can go and die if u want....
ain't ready yet... ;P

jesus

wetin. non consign us...

Vivalavida99:
Wow! She is doing wonderfully well, I love that.

I can speak many languages too, except for the native Nigerian language which i'm presently learning.

Apart from English i can speak French, Spanish, Dutch, Italian and Chinese ( Mandarin).


Je Parle français

Yo hablo Español

Parlo italiano

Ich spreche Deutsch

我讲中文

Sister... No vex ooo... u fit teach person dis languages if u see person wey dey ready to learn ?

From the chats , u'll see these are all white people chat..
if u wan hear betta story, go one face-me-i-slap-u house for mushin... u go hear tinz like

Neighbour 1 : some women no dey shame, see where iya sikira kon spread hin pant and bra.. the pant don even tear tear for yansh...

Neighbour 2 :: Iya Nkechi, the next time carry that your Timbuktu generator put for my window again, u go just hear him sound fade into oblivion...

Neighbour 3 :: Eeehhhhh.... who carry the water I put for inside my bathing bucket..

Mhizkel:
Just ask me to tell you it meaning already

Mhizkel.... u dey do me strongtin oooo.. che u know...