₦airaland Forum

zoghys:
You are been stupid dear. If truly you a woman of virtue this nonsense you typed is not going to help you. And for dowry, we don't collect that where I come from.

E never reach crying matter abeg. Learn to be constructive in your argument, stop getting personal with people when driving home your points.

zoghys:
I have a teenage daughter and giving her quality education is for her to believe in herself and knows that she is created to be as good as any man. She must be submissive to her husband and be a good mum to her children and as well contribute to her home as well as her husband. I blame your parent for this nonsense you typed. Help your future by letting go of this stereotypical idea, it will hurt you in the future. My 2cent by the way

Story. It's your type that will chase your daughter away if she brings a man who can not pay her dowry home.

Y'all know what I'm on about but you just keep shying away from the truth. Going about in circles.

Datedoboy:
Of course everyone knows it's not love that will feed the home. Love and commitment didn't destroy many homes. If you check well, it is attachment to exes and wayward lifestyles b4 marriages that have done that.

Everyone knows love won't pay medical bills but ladies who says these things are not virgins. Virgins know that money is needed but won't say it to the man they love that they can't marry a broke man. To them it's love first while both of them work hard to support each other financially.
Most cases, it is non virgins that don't want to contribute anything to their husbands and expect only him to be bringing.

I am not looking for excuses where there is non. You ladies are quick to state that you can't marry men who can't take care of your needs but don't want a man to say that he wants a woman who is chaste. Is it money that will restore your virginity? Be looking for excuses on why virginity is not value.

Are you a virgin yourself? By the way I never said virginity should not be kept or be a "condition " for a woman to be catered for by her man ( according to you). What im saying is, people should not hide under the guise of " love" or turn blind to the important things in the name of love only to end up with wrong decisions that will affect the so called love in the long run.

As much as you love, try to improve your financial status so you can maintain and sustain the love you have for each other. Shikenah!

noonejustme:
Guys, from an Evolutionary and scientific standpoint, this lady is right.

But EriMma, these men responding to you are simply justifying feminism.

Now this... You sound like someone who upholds the traditional ways... Who wants a traditional man.
A traditional man is someone who will provide for you most ( if not all) of your needs, protect you from the elements and danger, while in return you give him your youth, femininity, fertility, respect, and most important of all, LOYALTY.

Another thing you need to give is your virginity to him( kind of goes together with Loyalty). Where that is not possible, AT least come into the union with a body count of not more than 3.

The thing is... Do you qualify as a traditional woman ?


This is why I always say that the bible ehn, na over complete dey worry am. The same bible that talk about a man being an infidel who cannot provide for his family is the one who said that a woman who is not married as a virgin( and the husband gets to find out and reports this) should be stoned to death

You have spoken wisely and maturely my brother and I think I agree with you 100% on this one.

Yes every woman should keep her chastity and be loyal to her man to the letter.

God bless you.
Have a happy Sunday, dear.

shantti:
Men like me are thousands of miles better than women like you. Women like u end up in Shiloh yr after yr while till they reach menopause. I can cater for my medical bills, can u?

Oya sorry, no cry. Today na Sunday abeg. I don't want anyone to shed a tear because of my harmless post.

It's only an advice especially for the women folk. Take it or leave it. E never reach crying matter. O?

Bye.

sigiyaya:
I hardly comment on Nairaland but this ur trend got me nne. I just want to tell you that I seriously pity any man that comes around you. You sound empty and frustrated plus u are rude and a complete burden with ur mindset.

Don't get emotional. Pick one or two lessons from my post and run with it.

shantti:
Socrates
At least Regina Daniel was earning a lot as a spinster before her mum pushed her to marry ned.

Now, what r u earning as a spinster? U couldn't afford to take urself to the clinic. Remember

Back to Regina. Do u think ned really loves and values her, it's all Abt sex dear. She had to endure being a third wife. Ned can bring in a side chick or prostitute into his house and smash, and nothing will happen. When he is tired of regina, he will marry a fourth wife and she dares not question him cos she is just one of his properties. Is that what u really want. U can't eat ur cake and have it.

That's her choice and she's enjoying every bit of it. Jo regrets so far. It doesn't matter what Ned does afterwards as long as her needs are being met, she got nothing to worry about.

She's better than many who end up with men like you, enduring the hardship and still get cheated on with dirty prostitutes outside. At least Ned has class and goes for the clean ones, wife's them and brings them home.

shantti:
.

U r d emotional ones. Men are currently going for women who are contributing to the society. A leech is only used for sex and not marriage. Ask urself why u aren't married yet when girls younger than u are getting married.

Mr man, stop sounding pained and taking this thing personal. It's very simple. Learn to cater for your woman otherwise she'll cheat on you under your nose with a more financially capable man. That's what you men don't know.

Gerrard59:
Actually, it does. I perfectly agree with you that a man must be a provider. In fact, it is better to be dead than be alive as a man who has no money. Of what use is a man without money? I have seen the disrespect men get when they have no money from their wives, wives' family members, society and even their friends. So, the rants on the first page are ignorant of how the world works. However, as much as you want a man who works and provide, you need to bring something to the table which are your feminine values and character. I find it odd for a lady to expect the top 1% man yet she is not also a top 1% lady. It is a merger of unequals. Most men, especially traditional men since you referenced men of those days, are not interested in a woman's money. At the same time, these men need you to be chaste and have high feminine values.

But then, I can't blame young ladies who desire the top 1% yet are in the bottom 20% since the average Nigerian man lacks standards. If I was a Nigerian lady, I would do the same. Flirt around and do unimaginable things then turn around and get a rich man. Honestly, I hail una. The strategy has been working for donkey years, notwithstanding the alfa meil chants (most of whom are very poor).

LoL.. abeg, the table don scatter before o. I no fit laugh abeg

The men are not chaste, so expecting a woman to be 100% chaste is being ridiculous. Though that's not my position or the reason for this post.

tochuukwu:
OP, the first part of your post is actually very true... A man should actually be financially stable upto certain extents before having a serious partner... Money is very vital to life... Simple and short.
But the part where I'd say you're wrong and also why alot of people commenting are attacking you is when you put it that the man's earnings should be to "meet a woman's needs" (woman way no be him wife, kai)... A guy can assist a girl in several ways, but it is never a guy's calling in life to meet your needs.
The girl in question also has to be useful to the guy's life in ways other than just being useful in bed.

You've mentioned the Bible when responding to some people's comments; but even in the same Bible, there are hundreds of instances where a woman played a vital role in a man's success story.

It's as simple as that. If you want a man to be useful to you, you too have to be useful to the man. Life is always give and take.

That's my take on this. I don't see the need to throw insults at anybody. I believe we're here to reason together.

Your advice still remains true though; as a young man coming up, it's very important to find all means to stand on your feet financially. Very importanta!
So much can not be achieved without money.

Shebi na from relationship she'll turn wife. I'm not talking about a flirting girlfriend. Someone you intend to marry and the wifes too.

VeeVeeMyLuv:
U still don't get me
And you are missing the point

If you later found out that a guy that you started developing feelings for, falling for or giving green light, all along na borrow pose, everything he was using down to boxer and toothbrush is someone else's own probably his boss or friend! How would you feel?

Some Broke guys or guys that look broke have rich friends and powerful connect o

There was a time, I was broke while in university, there's this rich friend I usually hang out with... We were really close, luxury apartment, some expensive toys

U need to be discrete, use your discretion. Be reasonable.

I leave you with this question, realistically speaking, is it possible for every lady to get rich men each for themselves in this hardship economically battered Nigeria?

Again, why should the rich man always have comma in the instances you're giving?

Datedoboy:
No need to answer her. Girls that talk like this are non virgins and hoes. They don't know what love and commitment means. It's all about money

Love and commitment that has destroyed many homes and lives due to lack of the basic needs of life,? Na love go pay your medical bills. Just tell her I love you and she'll be well.

Na love and commitment to poverty go feed your wife and children. Sorry onyen love. Don't work hard to become a man. Be looking for excuses where there's none.

biyiwyle:
So you dont even have yet? Best of luck.

Yes because I don't want to stress somebody's son who's still struggling to find his feet in the name of relationship. If peradventure impromptu marriage happens, na everybody, including innocent children go suffer am a d me I don't want to suffer my kids by marrying a broke husband.

Business3600:
Its very simple, if you are a guy and your doing really well for yourself financially. Please look for a lady thats working and earning good salary or she got her own business. I support 50-50. No cheating. Bills should be split into two

Be deceiving yourself. Even if she's the CEO of a company, she can never split the responsibilities half with you. You'll still be the one carrying 90% of the whole thing. Na mouth una get. We know how we run you guys that think you're smart. No be woman I be.

Karleb:
She obviously married a lazy man. That's her choice and has nothing to do with your write up.

You lie! The man was not lazy. He was working but not financially stable and they both overlooked that part and rushed into marriage. Now the die is caste, she wants out because the heat is too much for one person to bear.

VeeVeeMyLuv:
Just pray you are not taught a bitter lesson in this life in the most deceptive manner.

Have you not heard of so-called rich man who allegedly rode in fleet of cars, usually open gate and enters a mansion that was later discovered by a lady to be just a common driver to the his original rich oga, after the deed has been done?

Why must the rich man always die in your illustrations? Are you an enemy of good things?

Na the struggling man e sure for say poverty no go kill am. Please snap out of it abeg! Drop this negative mindset otherwise it will become your reality. Be positive for once.

If the rich man become poor yen yen yen... Una no dey see poor man becoming rich so it can manifest in your lives. Na so so doom una dey see. Biko, charam na uzo!

moralex:
Don't mind am jare, na this kind of women go marry "Mr he can meet my needs " when the man loses his job or died unexpectedly , she go turn to begging .

So any rich man now must die or become poor to justify your inability to meet up with standard. Na wa for this kind reasoning. Na poor man no dey die na. Uchu.

Isabi4lov:
They won't remember that verse in the Bible , it's really affecting most women, some men will still collect money from their wives to feed their yeye side chicks.

The mistakes our mothers made during their own time won't repeat itself again .

How can you not cater for your own household? When they see other ladies that are well taken care of , you'll see them awwnning like an ambulance .

You as a man if you're not ready to take care of somebody's daughter and the children she will birth for you ,abeg dey your dey .

LoL... @ awwnnning.. . True o. They'll be shaking like electric fish and drooling over a lady being taken care of by a man like them. Meanwhile their girlfriends who's now looking washed out due to lack of care will no longer appeal to them. No be men wen I know? Then theyll start creating threads like "she's no longer attractive, how can I tell her I'm no longer interested."

ednut1:
men and women are built differently. Men without money can manage brothel and still be happy. Women once they reach a certain age cant do same. Its hard to see a 50 years old single man frustrated at not being married vs a 50 years old woman.

Keep consoling yourself

Bullythebully:
No curse is bigger than the one currently following you. You have no house,no car,no wife,no honor,no child and you are in your 30s!

You are an emblem of suffering and reproach. The reason you are poor is because you wish others bad. You curse people,and inadvertently you curse yourself. What did this woman do that you are cursing her?

Start praying for people and wishing then we'll and God will deliver you from the curse of non achievement that has overshadowed your life.

Plus you are malnourished.
@EriMma1 has more prospects than you in life.


For all women reading this post,don't marry a poor or struggling man. So you can pass legacy down. Imagine otedola son or dangote son doing this online? If your son is jeromestark,will you be happy?

Hmmm.... So this is the thing that is cursing himself?. Smh.

My brother, thank you for humbling him. With this he'll learn to tread carefully and in fact should be the one to deactivate.

Esoresor:
As a virtuous woman I’ll only build with a man that will be very richhhhhhh. Like transforming from a millionaire to a billionaire to a trillionaire and zillionaire

Correct!

jeromestarks:
They have insulted you enough. Please deactivate your account. How could you bear this shame?

You should have waited for you to be married before making such post.

Now I curse you.
You won't find a man that will love you not to mention a man that will cater for you need.

Because it is written that cursed is he that hangeth on a tree, your curse is hereby nullified and cancelled in my life. I can not be cursed because Jesus has nailed every curse against me on the cross of Calvary.

Now,Because it is written that they shall be taken in, in their own device, I decree, may your curse return back to you and work against you by the authority in Jesus name.

Amen.

Creamypussy:
Wrong perception.

Suffering and smiling. Body go tell you when the time comes unless you come run go for back go hook one rich man cos I know your type. You come and say wrong perception to appear nice. Make one guy living in a face me I slap you house come approach you now, you go spit fire for him head.

Aunty, Weldon.

Abarichi:
So what can you offer the guy in return? Sex right? U no serious..

Then let him keep to himself now abi? Shoo

Karleb:
No she didn't.

She started by say women should not be with a man that can't provide for her needs, then go on to make points for feminism.

That alone shows the type of woman she is.

Why should a man provide for the needs of another grown up adult that has parents.

She said she broke up with a man because he was so broke he couldn't buy her drugs for stomach ache, which she herself was too broke to do anything about.

Even in marriage, a man cannot provide your 100 percent needs.

What happens when the man loses his job or business collapse?

The broke guy isn't gonna be broke for life too.

Jay Z wasn't always the Jay Z we know but Beyoncé never left him because she saw the prospect, what of Barack Obama?

The repulsive attitude here is her leechy attitude which she's advertising. It takes away any work or perseverance from women, just wake and start running after the made and dumb your needs on them.

Anyway, let she and her type keep avoiding the broke with prospect, the future will decide which girl made the right choice.

Stop sounding emotional. No be fight. It is what it is. whichever ways you choose to look at it. Fact remains that a man who can not take care of his household is worse than an infidel.

Rayban25:
Stop behaving like you dont know what she is doing...nobody is arguing that men shouldn't be financially stable before marriage everybody knows that...but why is she attacking men for not carrying her baggage is the problem..and that's why we have a lot of unmarried women that will remain single because majority of you have bad and entitled attitudes towards mens resources...shame has departed from these generation of women

You never talk wetin dey pain you. Where in my post did I attack men who could not take care of me? I only used my experience as a case study, nothing more.

Swallow the bitter truth and work with it

MemoriesAndMe:
Not everyone here is a struggling guy.

Someone paid for your Suya and you expect him to pay to treat you in case you fall sick from eating it. Please what do you ever pay for biko? What does anyone need a liability for?

So if it was the guy that fell sick after eating the Suya, you would have abandoned him because you don't even have shishi to take care of yourself, let alone take care of him? Wetin sane man dey find around such hungry girl?

Your type should just shut up sometimes - I never chop mofos, opportunists all over town.

Why shouldn't he take me to the hospital? Even if someone who's working and has all the money falls sick will she know where she is? How much more be able to access her money at that time? So if that is the case, he can't do something pending when she gets revived?

See... I'm not making a boast. When I was still in my early 20s my dad fell sick and by the next day I got to his house and found him lying really sick. He could not even get up or do anything. Immediately I said what is this, I called my sister and quickly we got a taxi and rushed him to the hospital. From the test to bills and everything, my sister and I fute everything. He was proud of us till he died many years after.

Now, a lawyer can not call even common bike to take me to the nearest clinic not to talk of futing the hospital bill you say I should not talk?? Abegi!

Rayban25:
When you're done shedding tears go and kill yyourself

You're the one sounding sorry. So take your own advice.

franchasofficia:
Erimma oh, my stomach don burst oh

. Abeg, make e no burst o. We still need you around.

Karleb:
I don't blame you guys, I blame your parents that can't provide or set you up financially.

I'm not upset at this content a bit, a financially stable girl will have a completely different view.

Go and ask the lady on front page seeking divorce. She's financially independent but married to a struggling guy who later lost his job and refused to get another one just because the wife is working. Now, tell me, will sh still e have a completely different view after her experience or rather agree with my post?

juman:
"Don't ever be with a man that cannot meet your needs."

In a relationship, man is expected to bring at least some fraction of the need needed in the union. But a lazy man cannot provide that.
There are many many lazy men. Dont waste your time and life with lazy man. You go cry so much.

Abeg loud am make Dem hear. Body dey pepper all of them and they fail to see the truth in this simple post.

Sleekfingers:
I can never raise my daughter to have this kinda mentality.

Life will teach her. Don't worry.