₦airaland Forum

juman:
Dont marry a lazy man even when you are desperately looking for husband.
Its most likely end up in tears. Lazy mind likely never change.

There is difference between poor but hardworking guy with good vision and lazy asss guy.
Somebody that go out to get money and work harder to improve his finance is a good potential husband.

That's the point but how many of them are willing to work hard? They just want a woman that will clean their mess.

ObosiUkwalla:
This clown, you are not making a single sense

It won't make sense to you because it's your reality so you don't even know what makes sense anymore. but you'll get to understand when train leave you go.

Viltron:
Ladies, if you ever want to live a happy life, avoid people like this deluded poster

LoL... You amuse me.
Go and ask how many women are happy in their marriage? See the one on front page already crying and seeking divorce. Is that the happiness you're talking about? My friend wake up! Train don leave you go..

shantti:
So without a man u can't get out of poverty.
Nawa oh

Is that what the post says?

Was Regina Daniels in poverty? Why did she dump her fellow actor and go for Ned. Be wise.

sunbreaker:
can't you meet the need of yourself. Must you live by man? If you do,that means you are liability

Cant you men be by yourselves? Must you go after a woman you know clearly you cant afford?

Sure, I can meet my needs by His grace and Ive decided to stay on my own and not bother anyone who can't take care of me so you men should do same! Haba!

ednut1:
This is why we have many ladies in their late 30s and early 40s single and frustrated.

And men?
See how frustrated a lot of young men have become, because they can't maintain a wife material the brothel has now become their second home cos that's where they can get cheap dirty sex. Many of them already in their late 30s and 40 s still unmarried and instead of working hard, they become complacent and comfortable leading indecent lifestyles and consoling their bruised ego by shaming single ladies.

Carry on o.

UAObi:
She should go, so that the man can have his peace and manage his life. Simple

Don't beg anybody to stay with you. Let her go

Exactly my point. If im with a man and I discover he can't cater for me, omor, I'll take to my heels. I'm working and can fend for myself but my man should be responsible for me in some areas or what will be doing in my life if he's not contributing to my welfare? Na spectator him be? Abi body wey dey service you no need maintenance?

You too think am now.

Skyview01:
Erinmma,

As a guy, i wholeheartedly agree with you.

My brother, see me o. I'm not shaming anyone but simply stating the obvious. That's why I used my experience as a case study.

Isabi4lov:
Tell them o , some women will be forming super woman but deep down in their hearts they're dying .

You better don't start what you cannot finish.

If your man don't spend on you , definitely he's spending on someone else .

To look good and healthy it entails money .

Make nobody bobo you .

Don't mind them. One is now telling him she wants to leave the man. Another one on front page is seeking divorce because of this same issue.

See all the affected men wailing all over my post. I'm not shaming anyone, just trying to warn them of the dangers in commiting to such relationships. Even the bible says a man that can not take care of his household is worst than an infidel. That is what we are seeing today.

DREAMHOMES6970:
Do you believe in equality?

Not really.

sunbreaker:
can't you meet the need of yourself. Must you live by man? If you do,that means you are liability

We are not talking about me here but the men.

LEGALSER:
Some of you will wake up once morning, come to nairaland and start creating topics to post absolute nonsense. This is 21st century try and do away with entitlement mentality if you can support a man to grow do so and if you can’t stay clear and look for those who are ready to carry your loads of nonsense. Stop bothering us with your petty stories that shows nothing but insensitivity, all men can’t be same and even if a man finally gets a breakthrough there are ups and downs, don’t degrade a man simply because he can’t provide your needs now. You that can provide your needs, what do you need a man for? It simply means you are a broke ass looking for a man that you’ll suffocate with your insatiable desires.

Always pained each time you're reminded of your reality. Instead of picking the part that concerns you and try to work on it, you resort to insults and weak defence as expected anyways.

The 💊 is always too bitter for you men to swallow.

Elder0001:
How come you didn't have any money to buy yourself drugs either? You are also broke asf, looking for somebody to dump your problems on.

Omo, it's time to deactivate my account and leave this platform. Too many dumb and illogical topics/ posts littered all over. SMH

The truth is bitter. So I understand.

Deactivate. You'll not be missed.

nlfpmod

purehustle101:
Poverty can make you believe that some write up are normal. I encourage guys to forget anything that concerns love in a country where love is been paid for. Move out to develop countries if you really want to experience love. Please not with a Nigeria girl. Don't date women that can't stand on there own.

Whos talking about love? Abeg snap out of your delusions. We are talking nitty-gritty, you're talking indian film. You think marriage is all about fairytale or zeeworld? Let responsibilities hit you left front and right, even with your woman working and supporting your struggles, you'll know what's up.

The so called developed countries that you can't even talk to their women anyhow and you'll lose all that makes you a man. God help you, you are the type expecting what she will bring to the table, youll land in naija with the next available flight if you try one inch of the rubbish you do with naija girls.

How you men glorify slavery in a relationship with a white girl all because of selfish gains ( which in most cases doesn't last) is what baffles me. Atenu

purehustle101:
As a man your only responsibility is to take care of your kids . Once they reach 18 in most develop countries they are on there own. The only fulfilment you get in these life is always let your happiness comes first.. Dey no put you for these world to work and Carter for people till you die, Enjoy your life.

Then stay by yourself now. Why go and bring somebodys daughter to come be looking like lucozade in your house? See me o

Kobojunkie:
I ply the path of commonsense in all my dealings.

O han Lara yin. Eku orire.

Gerrard59:
Erimma1,

You have not answered this young man's curiosity.

But then, I recall well-to-do Nigerian men who still married ladies who fvcked around when they were younger or in school. Sha, I don talk am, the average Nigerian man has no standard when it comes to marriage. Na to dey shout alfa meil for road while dangling the smelly preek.

Answer him what exactly? His question does not aligned with the post cos I'm not talking about body count here. Let him read the post again and come up with a more correlative question. Then will I be obliged to answer him.

You guys have deviated from the original context of this post.

As if the men are saints themselves.

Kobojunkie:
The ancient landmarks set by your forefathers is what brought you a lot to where you are today where reality finally crashes down that delusion revealing it for the foolishness that it always was. Are you certain you want to continue to live such a foolish reality?

Which one are you living?

all4zionlover:
What would you advice in a situation where a husband losses his job due to gambling and decided not to make any effort in search of another job or business or any legal means of making even little money. He just wakes up in the morning, have his bath, put on the AC and go back to sleep. Only expecting any little thing the wife can cook to eat? He wouldn't pay any bills, provide anything but very humble helping out with house cleaning and washing.
Knowing that the situation is not funny on the wife and two children.
The wife must struggle to make food available no matter how little for the children, because she can't watch the children go hungry.
In a situation like this, when men goes out looking for means of making food available for their children and family, he is comfortable not having anything to offer all the time.
Is this the character of a father and husband that loves?
Is this not enough reason to divorce him?

Shebi when I talk, some came for my head. Now see?

Women, learn to avoid situations like this by being proactive. Don't commit to any man who can't take care of himself or even you.

Now you're reacting after the deed is done. What of the innocent children you brought into the world? What will be their fate now wey oga don hands off?

Thats why you see them asking what a woman will bring to the table to know the level of laziness they'll exhibit in the marriage.

I'm not saying it's his fault that he lost his job but what next? Sleeping at home every day will not solve the matter neither will taking over the chores make a difference. Let him get up and go look for something doing. No matter how small. Otherwise, separate from him until he gets his acts together. Unless you want to be feeding an able adult for the rest of your life because I tell you, he'll never want to do anything as long as you continue shouldering the responsibilities and he keeps eating free food.

Bullythebully:
Honestly can't fathom the wailing on your post. Since when the poverty/struggling become a virtue? A low value man can never be virtous. If poor men can be virtuous,why are nairaland men(who are mostly poor/struggling) vile?


The men crying want good life for their sisters and daughters.
When it's their sisters enjoying monetary benefits from men they are happy. When it's other ladies they become resentful or accuse them of hookup.

Misery loves company.

People that go to Maldives for vacation,do they have two heads?


Which do you prefer? That your neighbor child in a duplex comes to flaunt the fancy toy their parents bought for them to your child in a boy quarters and when your child asks you to buy such for them also,you can't afford to because of the man you married?

Do you like a situation where you can't attend parties because you can't afford aso ebi because of the man you are with?

Women please consider before commiting to a man that can't provide all your needs. You are a woman,the most beautiful creature on this planet. Men are savages without you,you are the one that lighten up a man's world,so the least they can do is sustain their source of joy by providing her need.

Men are very brutal in vetting. They will never settle for a woman that falls short of the society standards.So never drop your hypergamy. Hypergamy is our compensation for their polygamous nature .it is fair enough.

Ignore broke, frustrated men trying to sham you for wanting a provider man.

Lol . This one na total annihilation. Shey me i was still using a corner of my mouth to say it. You just kukuma shatter the table hahaha 🤣🤣🤣.

True o, those people who are living out the life of their head don't have two heads o. Why should I now let my own be different. Mbanu.

The truth is.. most ladies like to be reactive than proactive. They will turn deaf ears to this warnings and go ahead with it. When reality strikes, that's when they'll want to opt out by what time it's already too late to gather the shattered pieces of their lifes

The men are not doing themselves any good by commiting to such Union where you can't have a plan b in case of an emergency. Just like what happened to me in that lawyers house, what if it had gotten worse than that and the yeye garlic didn't work?... Hmmm ... Any time I remember that incidence, I shudder.

talk2hb1:
Hmmm, I won’t want my Daughter or Baby Sister to get Married to a Guy Who Can’t take care of Himself Financially and Mentally!

Be careful what you wish for. There's power in the tongue. Don't place a curse on your unborn daughter. Please.

Jacobx007:
Sincere apologies please

You don't need it. I'm not crossed with you. We just talking. Normal .

Philosopher1979:
Will u settle for polygamy because such men are allready taken.
I mean a man thatvrich will have too many ladies and will probably be married by the time u meet him. Oko won no igboro. Husband is scarce to get.

Most men under 30 are not that successful.
Life is not that straightforward

I wouldn't settle for a married man because of wealth. But I also don't agree that there are no rich or comfortable single men out there from where I can make my choose.

Life is not some times straighforward I Know but all I'm saying is let's guard against unecessary pressure.

Jacobx007:
Whatever rocks your boat madam, I didn't intend to insult you in any way.
You have every right to pursue your dreams and live the life you want.
I know you are educated from the way you presented your write up, very sweet ENGLISH
Enjoy your weekend

I didn't insult you either. Na you bring ashawo enter the matter.

Enjoy.

fortyishcouga:
What will you do though if he can meet your needs now but no longer able to after marriage due to some misfortune? There is no methodology to these things.

I think you should ask yourself that question because I never envisaged such. I don't entertain negative thoughts so the issue of misfortune is overruled here but since you believe in such, what will you do?

Now back to the matter. When I say a man that can take care of you, I mean... a very rich man. I'm talking about a man with landed properties and companies or businesses that can keep him financially afloat for as long he lives and of course with such, he can establish the wife to a point where she can conviniently chest any financial responsibilities in his absence. However my sis, if you choose to go with a struggling man because of that mentality of yours, your choice. please do. Since it's better to be with a struggling man than being with one you fear will have misfortune. Being with a struggling man is kukuma natural misfortune and disaster. so be with him.

I don't know why people always foresee evil around good things. Always trying to pamper and romance poverty na wa o! Since that's how you perceive life, Biko, hold the struggling one tight to avoid misfortune according to you.

Your methodology really suits you o.

Kobojunkie:
1. Why should she be ashamed when culture, even to this day, glorifies this way of living as far as women? You lot enjoy it when your pastors and mogs stroke your egos and fill your heads with lies of how women are meant to be cared for by their men and in turn submit to them and it never occurred to you that this is exactly what you glorify in your delusion?

2. Oh, so your wife does not even contribute fairly to her own family hence the reason why you cherish her every time she brings money out to by one or two things? How is that any different from OP who looks for a man to care for her needs?

Stop mentioning me. Argue with them on their take. You think say you get bad mouth, if I start with you, you go run.

Kobojunkie:
1. The average age for menopause in women is 45 - 55, and so a 35-year-old woman has lots of time, assuming she wants kids, to have at least one child. Only, so, try instead to stick to approaching this topic from the point of view of commonsense and not bigotry. As for your claim that ladies settle for poor guys because time is not on their side, you obviously aren't in touch with the reality of Nigeria. Are all the women, some in their late teens, others still in their 20s, married to poor men did so because time was no longer on their side?

2. Rubbish! Having what you call a brilliant business idea does not guarantee success, whether a woman helps him out with money or not. It is one thing to have a good idea and another to make a business work, and this no matter how hardworking you are. Google to find out how many businesses crash each year to get an idea of how hard it is to do such things.

Try to be civil in your argument for your own sake. You're becoming too toxic and abusive these days and it's not good. Small thing, you don abuse person. You can't make a line of sentence without a derogatory word. Stop it!

talk2hb1:
So The Moral Of Your Epistle Now is:
So You Mean You Should Be A Liability Right?

No.. I mean men should learn to be men. Man up to their responsibilities and stop expecting a woman to bring to their empty table.

Make una dey look up to people like Ned Nwoko, Tinubu and the odogwus wey know how to be a man.

emmaodet:
Why do you women always switch laws from one side to the other.
Pls which law should we apply now? Religious law, traditional law or government/national law?
Nitori ofin to mu eleha na lo mu elegun - the law that holds a woman in hijab/veiled/covered person na him still hold masquerade. They are both covered.
If the bible says a man must till before he can feeds his family, the same bible orders the woman to be a virgin/untouched for her man tilling the ground seriously. So that he can have a value for his efforts.
You can't start dating and banging from secondary school days to uni to nysc to working place without remembering the law all then to just remember when it is time to settle down.
The law you quoted said we should stone to death a disvirged woman.
Have we done that? Have we taken the laws into our hands? Are men not benevolent with this law?
Secondly, I don't know why women complain about working and also not wanting to contribute into the family purse while working.
Then of what use is woman empowerment? When it is not reflecting in the farm lifestyle.
Then it is better women empowerment and give women job scrapped and let men who are ready to work and not complain to feed their own women take up these jobs because to whom much is giving, much is expected.

This your analogy doesn't follow because the two scenarios you painted are not of the same category. The stoning of nonvirgins and man tilling the ground are not the same because one is a man-made law ( stoning of nonvirgins) while the other is a decree from God for man to til the ground and in that same line of decree, God gave the woman her own duties which is to bear children in pain. So the first is not of God. That was man-made therefore should not be in comparison here.

The use of women empowerment is to save her from an a irresponsible man. Women empowerment came as a result of men falling from their first estate as bread winners and falling short of their responsibilities forcing the women to literally beg to fend for themselves and their children in the past while the men look on like lazy baboon. Na then e start. Meanwhile there were men who were living up to their responsibilities and these one took advantage of the suffering married women. That was when snatching of peoples wife
Started and really trended. You don't hear such again because women are now empowered. What then do you need such irresponsible man for if you still have to fend for yourself ?

Regina was doing well for herself as an actress yet she went for a higher level in marriage to maintain the level she wants. Does she give Ned nwoko her money? That is what I call marriage.

Ned Nwoko worked his way to the top, let the men learn to work hard to guard against situations that will warrant bringing to the table nonsense talk. Many men have become so lazy. Na only to talk choo choo choo like woman up and down them Sabi. Time Dem go use go hustle and become a man they'll sit and trash talk a woman wey no bring for table.

Una whehdone

Jacobx007:
So if the man that is taking VERY GOOD CARE OF YOU eventually dies you will go out and look for another one that will continue taking of you?
Aren't you ashamed of yourself? Haba
What happens if you are gainfully employed and you take care of your needs, will you die?
Don't you know the value of a woman that helps her husband financially is better than the one who sleeps 24 hrs.
I cherish my wife when ever she receives her salary and buy even the very little things for the house, please begin to perish this idea from your mind, i wonder which FOOLISH MAN will marry you after seeing this nonsense you posted.
That's ASHAWO mindset oooooo

The same ashawo that you patronize and pay (her bills) but cannot pay your wife who takes care of the home.
Ashawo go bill una for just a few mins and you men will pay but expect your wife to bring her money to the table. You see why I said better to put that your money to good use in the home by taking care of wifey.

Why should I be ashamed for wanting a good life? Is Regina ashamed today? Many women who's husband are taking care of their needs 100%, how many are ashamed? Rather it's the one who's husband can't cater for that faces disgrace and shame all the time where she'll be looking like a mad dog or a shadow of herself especially if she's not financially Independent. Or you'll hear husband kills wife because of pure water or agege bread. That is why you see a lot of women trying hard to get something doing Then whats the point being with a man if my life cant be affected positively by his presence and I still need to work to cater for myself?
What will he be doing in my life? No you tell me... Especially when there are other capable men out there. Spare me abeg!

I think the men should channel their energy to More productive things than sex all the time.

So what if a woman doesn't give him as much as he wants?
Did you consider the womans mood and energy level if she can meet up with the mans sexual demands?

Sex is not oxygen. Men should learn to do with less of it.