₦airaland Forum

Uchefame:
Interesting topic.
Please Men that have experienced good marriage, let's us hear you.

We are still waiting to hear more.

louken:
My brother, except a lady's natural temperament matches yours, or she is ready to make compromises, or you are willing to make compromises and sustain those compromises throughout your years of marriage, please step back and reconsider and possibly abort mission.
If your purpose of learning assertiveness is to put yourself in a dominant position and make her to become humble and submissive, you might be in for a long bumpy ride.

I see. This is a better perspective.
Thank you.

kenn4rill:
The truth is that guys with such attitude or attributes (kind, calm, soft hearted) always attracts these kind of women. If you have a soft personality, believe me such you will always meet them, I my self is an example because most of the girls I've dated always wanted to be dominant and always wanted things to go as they have said. Even my late Dad had a soft personality but my mom wahala pro Max like even my friends are scared of visiting me as kids. They eventually got divorced, so what I'm trying to say here is that that's how is has always been with men with such nature and that is why you see guys that are problematic always have calm women. My thoughts sha.

This is very well noted

Thank you for sharing your experience.

If anything, I know I need to know myself more and be more assertive. My EX probably wouldn't have been an issue if I was also super confident and opinionated like she was.

Dtruthspeaker:
The Blueprint is that
1) You must fear and love God
2)You must Listen to Him.
3) You must Obey him.

If you accomplish all these then you will be a different and peculiar person.

And having a great good and sweet marriage is only for peculiar people.

And hey, note, if you follow this Way, Satan will hate you and will always always be pursuing you from the day you are serious. And should you fall for his antics, he shall still punish you hotly for daring to leave him.

Now, you now understand why people do not go the God Way!

I see. Thank you for sharing.

online4business:
1 if you see a woman that loves you it can't hide it's like porn once you see it you know it.

2 yes she does my mind EVERY TIME. the way you start a relationship is very IMPORTANT

I'VE a rule called three strikes if ANYONE VIOLATES the rules three times I get rid of that person permanently.

Three strikes applies to time you can't keep time.

Money you can't be straight forward with money matter.

And my mental health this one no go reach three sef I don dey scheme out way to get rid of the person.

Whether you be my papa mama wife don't break these rule...I've train her that way.

She has seen how I react when someone break these rules I've explain everything to her.

she knows me inside out

I see. Thank you for your response.

AcadaWriter0:
Interesting topic. Please, men who have experienced a good marriage, we would love to hear from you.

Yes boss. We are waiting.

louken:
There's sincerity in your quest.
From your analysis, it seems you took after your father in temperament.
If you marry a very opinionated lady like your dad did, you will likely have a marriage similar to your dad's. You will have a wife who will be strong enough to carry on even in your absence. The downside is that you may not enjoy the softness most men crave in a woman. There will be endless power tussles.
If I am in a distant marriage, I will prefer such woman. But if I will be living with her and be seeing her face everyday, I will run faraway from such woman.

Now that I remember, my dad was the actual chill dad, while my mum was the disciplinarian, she has softened up with age though, but that dominant attitude is still there. I believe my Father's temperament rubbed off on me. I rarely fight and I am quite agreeable. That's why I actually wanted to ensure that I never marry anyone with my mum's "hard" personality. So being in a relationship with this person confused me because it was also very tough to get her to see reason especially with the fact I was looking out for her. The situation was even more confusing for me because she was actually caring and did not see cooking, and occasionally doing my laundry as an issue. She did all that for me. Mind you, at 26, I work as a Manager at a multinational company, doing quite well and I have people who trust my judgement from time to time, including career starters, but for some reason, beside my ex, It felt like I didn't know what I was saying. And still, I have never used my position and influence to ever dismiss her own opinions and ideas for me despite the gap between us.

Nicepoker:
Another one is about to go down

😅

chidekings:
may the universe give you your heart desire....i can feel the truthfulness in your post.

Amen. Thank you.

Oluromantic:
I'm really sorry about your dad.

Having dated a lady before, seeing that she's caring despite her flaws and being flexible and open to ideas shows that you're psychologically balanced and your dad's incident did not embitter you. Keep it up

Seeing the good in a lady, being flexible to ideas shows that you're a normal man tending towards maturity and nothing is wrong with you, you need to learn to be assertive
though.

However being over-opinionated as a lady is already a bad signal. Switching off totally cus things don't go her way is another feminine manipulative attitude. Emphasis on manipulative. She does that so you would remain confused on whether you are doing it right or wrong. The truth is that she's not ready for any relationship yet so you're not guilty at all and you shouldn't feel guilty.

A marriage-ready good woman will submit and share her opinions submissively. It's a joyful thing for them to have a man who knows what he's doing give them rules and is crazy about them. If she's not like that, then she isn't ready.

Be assertive in any other relationship you enter. As long as you're sure you've done the right thing, certify it by yourself and don't wait for your actions to be certified by her. You're the leader in the relationship and your decision should firmly stand

But I wanna ask, how did your mom take or react to the incident about your dad? I'd like to know.

Thank you for your response.

Generally, I am just a very easy going and naturally empathetic person. I probably need to start learning Assertiveness fully now.

So, how my mum took it, basically his death was fully grieved by her for some years and she hasn't remarried ever since, although she had suitors but my elder sister was successful in kicking them away. But then, I am beyond grateful to her that she took up the challenge which made me what I am today and I have successfully retired her. However, up till tomorrow, she still try to give me "lessons" I should learn from my Father's passing. Not one good thing she says about him in our discussions. But me, even as a youngster, from my observation, I realized my mum was also a very opinionated and stubborn person, she still is even, but unlike my ex, she was expressive, hence the nags, arguments and fights, not silence. Sometimes, I believe my mum did a better job as a Mother than as a Wife.

RealLordZeus:
There is no sure blueprint when it comes to marriage.
Like someone said above, understand yourself first then you will know what you need.

It always boil down to your own nature

But this are few tips
-Ensure she love you more than you love her
- Understand that love is never enough and should not be your major criteria in selection.

As long as you no get bad mind, the universe has a way of matchmaking the right people

Thank you for your response:
How do you know when she loves you more than you love her?
Also the other things to look for, is a woman that listens or is cooperative part of that list?

online4business:
Make she love you 100% then if you love her 30-40% you have peace of mind.

Woman should be the one who need the relationship most for it to work.

That's how you get ride or die girls.

I'm happily married to a woman whose father hated me because I married a girl that has been betrothed to his friend son which my wife didn't like one sec..

She loved me and darm the consequences.

If she love you period she go do ANYTHING FOR YOUR LOVE.

We don't quarrel her mind is my mind.

Most important of all I married her a. Virgin... you've to screen the woman you married oo no go marry os put for house.

Summary
Attract don't pursue make na she dey want you and not for your money or wealth
Screen the hell out of those who get attracted to you

Have coins to take good care of yourself and her
Follow the 5 rules of Satan

Thank you for your response.

Quick Questions from my side please:
1. How do you know a woman loves you 100%?
2. Are you saying what my woman does what you want everytime? As you said your mind is her mind, how did you achieve this?

Oluromantic:
It begins with you by being the right person. That's what many men don't like to hear. To attract a good wife, you must be a good man but what's on many young men's mind nowadays is not to leave their comfort zone but get a 100% submissive wife. The reverse for women is also true.

So cut your excesses, tame your desires and appetite where necessary and build up lagging areas in your life, keep a high-discipline lifestyle and be success-driven after which you can start seeking a woman that match up to such standard.

Thank you for your response, I have fear of commitment/marriage from watching my own parents fight and argue till my dad eventually died of a car accident. This made me stay away from women for most of my adult life.

I don't really have so much dating experiences is why I am asking this question. I am 26 and I recently ended my first long term relationship of about 1.8 years some one month ago and can't stop thinking about it. While I knew for a fact that this lady had a caring personality, I couldn't but help get frustrated at her strong personality and over-opinionated persona. Myself on the other hand, I am flexible and open to ideas and suggestions. I fail to understand whether I was not assertive enough or she was just very plain stubborn. She doesn't nag, but she knows how to go silent on default if the conversation isn't going her way, even when I am trying to explain what's best for her. I feel I cannot convince her to do Anything at all that she doesn't want to do while it's not so for me. This has made me lost, frustrated, and confused. Besides that, she is an actual decent woman. Over the course of the relationship , we have argued so much that it has really drained me, and I know it must have been the same for her too. This personality of her worried me so much that I am concerned I will be in a marriage where I have no say. And remembering what happened with my parents, I called quits with her as I didn't want to go into marriage with this unresolved issue, as she was subtly bringing up the topic of marriage.

Nnamdipapa:
The first thing is to understand yourself, your goals, and your aspirations in life before you can select someone similar to you. Most guys always flopped in these regards and It comes back to bite them in the butt years later.

I will expand on the above later.

I see. Thank you for your response. Waiting for further details

MrCork:
Then chooose yor answer betwwen number 1 to number 10 sir

Lol. Okay

MrCork:
Ok brother....here u go:

1. Make sure shes lightskin
2. Make sure she no how to use fuuuk n knife sir
3. Make sure she dont spek pigieon english
4. Make sure she have yanssh..big yansh sir!
5. Make sure she from she from south africa..not nigeria
6. Make she she not a ex olosho...if she ask u for moiney
7. Make sure she a friend of Mr Cork..for credibility
8. Make sure she beento london..atlist twice
9. Make she from lekki
10. Make sure she aint no muslim(no oofencse)


THANK ME LATER!!!

I am actually serious

Samantha125:
What's stopping you from being a good husband and father?

I am actually asking for attributes to know what to work on.

Uchefame:
Interesting topic.
Please Men that have experienced good marriage, let's us hear you.

Yes my brother, we are waiting

Please, I need experienced men in long-term happy (not enduring) marriages to share their experiences and provide a blueprint on how to successfully select a good wife and how to be a good husband/father. I need this NOW more than ever please.

Hello, is there anyone who got invitation for interview after taking test for the TotalEnergies EP Nigeria CPFA Limited?

Thank you.

Please as anyone gotten back from them after the test we wrote recently?

I am in this very similar situation too. And I want ladies to help me answer.

I have been dating a woman now for the past 7 months and honestly, till now, I am still not sure if she loves me or she loves my money. I cannot see it properly. I see signs everywhere and I am confused.

Mind you I have no issue being a provider. I obviously know and love being a provider. It's a privilege to me. My only issue is I don't want to be loved on the sole basis of being a provider, and nothing more. You know such situations always end badly. I do not know how to vet her She has earlier been with a guy who was not really doing well, and I could see how much she really loved him (it almost caused issues in our relationship-story for later). So I am fully convinced she did really love someone who had nothing. I am not sure I fall in the same category.

I have been single all my life and she is my first girlfriend, so I honestly cannot tell if she really loves me or she is just using me.

I earn quite well. About x7 of what she currently earns. And she knows this (my biggest regret).

I noticed she has been hinting me how she really wants a girlfriend allowance. She subtle talks about it. I shake it off and try to talk about something else.

I get to pay for things she is enjoying for the first time: A romantic date at a top restaurant, snacks, food, etc.

Also, she is a marriage-freak. At 22, she seems pretty invested in wanting to be quickly get married and be an housewife. All she needs is my approval.

All these things make me worry honestly, because I cannot tell. It seems she can't do anything for me, without mentioning money in it as payment (even as just jokes).

Can ladies in the house let me know what is happening in my relationship? I'd like to hear from a female's perspective.

Omo, this one don pass someone again�

Hi Everyone, Is there anyone applying to the Mexico Government Scholarships? Or Knows anyone who has won it in the past? I need to reach out please. Anyone. Thank you.

Hello Everyone,

I am currently applying to the Azerbaijan Government Scholarships.

Does anyone has an idea of whether or not I can stay behind in Azerbaijan after the scholarship? I hear the immigration policies are very strict and I wouldn't want to complete my studies there and have to be coming back down to Nigeria.

Looking forward to your prompt response.

Thank you.

Submitted mine too.

Do you know when they will call us for anything?

Who is applying this year?

oyekan1997:
How did you go about your CV on the FSB’s website?

hmu BØSS 08105235410

Mine was more than one page o. I hope that's okay sha

Who else has sent in their applications already for the year? Let's use this thread to communicate for this year.

Hello, please tips on acing accessment center (Advisory/Transaction services)? �

Hello, please, has anyone recently done KPMG Deal Advisory's accessment center?