₦airaland Forum

MsPat:
Add a little eucaplytus oil to his normal oil....you can then rub on his chest and hair too. The minty smell would clear his sinus.....be careful sha cos it has a really strong mint content. Let him suck well to for vit C.

thank you. I'll try it.

Hello, good mamas, pls what can I do to relieve my 4 weeks old baby of catarrh? It's really blocking his nose.

Hello good mamas, pls what can I do to relieve my 4 weeks old baby of catarrh? It's really blocking his nose.

Thank you mamas for your prompt answers. I took my son to d clinic(primary Health Centre) and the midwife said i shouldn't worry about giving any drug, I should just keep giving Bmilk, that it is sufficient for babies and is able to help them fight infections.

Hello mamas, i have a 2 weeks old baby. I haven't been giving him any drugs. Some friends are suggesting I start giving him ampiclox drop and Nospamin drop, that it helps to calm their stomach and make them sleep better at night.
Should i try them? I'm a Ftm.

Djicemob:
And who says she MUST dip hands into her pockets? Do you call girls up to do your chores?

Do you call them up to give you money?

Djicemob:
And who says we cant do all those stuffs ourself? Only lazy dudes wait for girls to cook and clean for them.

So, you'd rather she skips the chores and just go straight to dipping her hand in her pocket for your pocket money?

Then you know the kind of women you need nah... The Sugars.

All these guys sef....
You've hijacked the thread, waiting to pounce on any girl that so much as mentions giving her boyfriend even 1k.

Wetin dey hungry una no dey for shoprite, I swear.

You want a girl that will come to your house, cook, do the dishes, wash your clothes, clean the entire house plus the bathroom and toilet and then when she is about to leave, SHE will dip her hand into her pocket and give you pocket money abi?

The thunder wey go fire you still dey for road...

tulk2mi:
Dont get it twisted my friend, what I meant is this, take for example you take down ur flat screen TV down from d wall where it normally is in ur sitting room. Any time u walk into ur sitting room, u will noticed d void cause by d absence of ur TV. Her absence causes a void. and even if my wife stumble on this and takes offence, she has already 4given me of all my sins even b4 I commit them. Dats how sweet she is * grins*

lolz......
I hear you... Wifey must be doubly sweet for her to enjoy being classified in the same category with her hubby's TV set.

Can't say I envy her!

tulk2mi:
I can do every thing. by myself, meaning I can last long without my wife, but she's like part of my furniture, if she's not there it's like something missing. I don't feel complete guess thats how much I will be missing her all the time am doing my gragra

Na wa o....
Part of your furniture? Just pray your wifey doesn't stumble upon this post or you go know the true meaning of inyanga dey sleep, trouble come wake am.

Lateralmaths:
this thread was created to address wives. Another thread also addresses husbands to love unconditionally.

in as much as I admire your desire to counsel people to have succesful marriages by insisting that the woman be submissive and the man love unconditionally, I would like to point out to you that your expectations are impossible.

The hearts of humans is inherently selfish; and asking one partner to submit without limit and expecting the other to be true and just and not take advantage of the situation becomes an impossible concept.

In my opinion, marriage needs love and respect from both parties to grow. That is what makes it a partnership.
The concept of demanding total submission from the one and then exhorting the other to love without reserve is equal to saying marriage is meant for the gods alone. Cos neither the man nor the woman can achieve that kind of perfection.

Mytwocents.

Op,
As a counsellor that you said you are, I would avice you to tell your counsellees to love and respect their spouses.

Stop harping on submission; that over-emphasis has been known to destroy homes.

Telling a woman that because she has said I do to a man, she should throw away her intelligence and bow to every whim of that man is just like advocating that her brain be purged so she is less aware of herself and more pliable to her husband.

P.S
submission is not love; don't confuse it. And, after all is said and done, what we all need, you too OP, is love.

iamrealdeji:
The woman is scared of divorce cos she thinks she may not get a husband anymore after a child,the man is ready for divorce and and can't wait,he said it yesterday,and he has some beautiful young ladies that keep him happy

young ladies that keep him happy
That is probably the cause of their fights; the man's infidelity.
To get peace in his life, he should either divorce his wife and go fully for the young ladies outside or be faithful to his wife.

In marriage as in every other relationship, it's best to treat others the way u want to be treated.

iamrealdeji:
Adeniyi,i used to say this until I relocated to the apartment I am now and see what causes the beating,there's a young couple that live in the next flat,the husband beats her a lot and I used to condemn that and defend the women all the time until I blamed the woman one day for always expecting the man to be boxed up all the time(what I said was actually very true) and she started dissing me and forgot about the fact that I used to defend her,the husband beats her a lot and she causes it all,she'll never keep shut,she rains curses endlessly on the man,even if the man ignores her(which is what I do advise the man to do)she'll be the one that will provoke the man till he raises his hands and beat her,the day the man beat this woman till she fainted,we all taught she was going to die,last night again,they fought for so long she rained curses on the man that ignored her until she accused the man of taking back the money he gave their daughter(which is a lie)the man became so furious that he had to raise his hands,he chased her till they got outside and he beat her like mad,she fell down and fainted,another neighbor of mine(the late landlord's son) picked her up in his hands,we actually thought she had died,he took her in,poured water on her,she woke up again and took a large tea cup and broke it on her husband's head,the man started bleeding on the head,that was when I moved closer to try to settle it,cos my intention was to leave them alone due to the fact that the woman curses too much(she actually respects me very well if she's not in a fight with her husband but anytime she's fighting her husband and anyone gets involved and blames her,she'd turn the curses on you),she was even cursing my landlord's son that tried to settle it,she cursed him for not leaving her alone to kill the man,then she went to pick a bottle,that was when the landlord's son and I ran inside,im not ready to die because of some couple,it was when the landlord's son successfully came out again and lock her up in the bathroom I came out and tried to keep the man away from beating her up again,a well respected man came in then and tried to settle it and this woman started pushing this man away again to leave her alone and started dissing the family man( who's a neighbor we share fence with) for advising her husband that they are birds of the same feather,they're both womanizers......,eventually,the husband came to our apartment to sleep,he couldn't stay in his own apartment overnight

The best advice to the couple is to get a divorce. Beating the woman up isn't going to solve anything. And from your post the wifey is certainly capable of violence i.e breaking her husband's head as u narrated.

One day one of them is going to kill the other or maim them permanently.

#saynotophysical/verbalabuseinmarriage#

Some people are always too ready to second guess other people's good intentions. They are always standing on the sidelines, not doing anything remotely active to help improve the lot of the people around them, but they are actively watching and waiting to pounce on the person who takes the first step towards help and charity.

@ Aisha2, God will bless you for this kind gesture. A person should give charity wherever they are moved to do so. It could be online, offline, however.
Don't let critics bring you down.

Evertything in life should be about choice...
If they choose to marry, good for them. If not, also good.

DorisK....

I'm following your story (biography/autobiography)...

Come and complete it.

OP, some of your points are on point and they are a much needed wake up call to some of our women. But, I'd like to caution you against generalizing. Majority of Nigerian women aren't lazy. I have come to respect them for that. Many families have survived for a reasonable number of years on the income of the mother of the house. Just listen to a few families' stories and you'd know.

On the issue of your friends who express their wish to marry rich men; I don't see anything wrong with that. Who among us didn't dream of becoming a princess with a prince who'd love you with all his might? Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. Who dictates for life?

Why it seems women place a lot of emphasis on marriage in their 20's and 30's is because of the biological clock. So, women in that age bracket try to re-prioritize, putting children and husband first.

Do not for one minute think that taking time off to marry and have children is an abandonment of their career paths. Nah.... Not for Nigerian women of today.

They may be on break for a while, to achieve another goal (a family) but they'll be back and still reach their full potentials.

These questions are important:

1.would any relative of ours live with us when we get married?

2. Would you consider adoption as an option if we were unable to have our own children?

3. What number of children would we have; is a male child a must have before we stop childbearing?

4. What is your view on polygamy?

5. How would you treat infidelity? Is it an unforgivable offense or would you be willing to reconsider if the other is genuinely sorry?

6. (a)Would you support a career-oriented wife to achieve her dream? (b) what would you do if your husband loses his job, business or source of income?


OP, these are just a few and it might not apply to everyone. Each of us has a reason for wanting to get married and our expectations from our partners differ. But it is imperative that we ask the questions that bother us even when we are afraid of the answer we might get. It is at the courtship stage that all of these questions are asked,answered and priorities aligned for the greater good of the couple involved.

I am in support of cohabitation Only IF the main idea is to find out the compatibility of the couple involved. Better a broken relationship than a broken marriage.

Though i would advice that some ground rules be established. Like;

1. The couple must have dated for at least three months before deciding to cohabit.
2. They must be engaged and the main reason for the cohabitation is to find out how suited they are for marriage in order to avoid jumping in and jumping out of marriage; because that would be a painful experience.
3. The cohabitation must have a time frame. It must not exceed three months.
4. No sex during the period of cohabitation. I don't see the point in trying to make a baby when you aren't sure yet if you want to spend your life with the person. A baby ties two people together whether they want it or not.

#Mytwocents#

Thank you, OP, for this post. I actually had to read the post twice; and slowly the second time. I needed to imprint it in my mind.

My best points are about :
1. Accepting apologies that were not given. These words really give someone food for thought.

2. Taking a step in the path that you have chosen and knowing that it is better to be at the last rung of the ladder you wish to climb than at the top of the one you do not.

Thank you, OP. These kind of posts act as moral guides sometimes.

Nadia_SA1: Lagos
Imo
Borno
Calabar
Hausa
Ijaw

Pls, Hausa and Ijaw! In which country?

Contrary to what some men think,marrying a woman ten years younger than you does not guarantee respect. You may only be buying the respect because you are able to provide for her. What if God forbid you lose ur source of income? She may take that respect and throw it into the rubbish can. My brother,if you love this age mate of urs and she loves you back,marry her. Love isn't easy to find these day. Don't be the old man who looks back at his youthful days and regret not marrying the one great love of his life.

Yep,daz wat I saw(hw many times did man u defeat arsenal). By my own calculatn,the answer wazn't there.

bayus_2003: tot I saw how many times did ManU defeat arsenal...did sm1else see this?

Text messages from my loved ones used to be the high points in my day. But now,mtn has made me not to even look at my phone when i get an sms. It's becoming frustrating. Let them limit those stupid texts. Who cares if it is Inyanya's b/d? Y shud i dash him my N50? And who the h*ll is big game that is giving out a toyota corolla?

Hey guys,hw are u seeing the setting for the test? What kind of test are we expecting?

Nairaland has taught me that there is a beautiful place(Nairaland) to visit and be informed abt the goings-on in Naija.
* That there are many intelligent people on Nairaland with great reasoning ability(riddles and jokes section).
*That I could be updated abt the latest in the job market without having to buy papers.

Looks like a scam to me.

There won't be any smoke. It's an electric train.

El Guapo: [color=#0066ff]Alryt tnx.

With 2 eggs, one sausage, and a little bit of milk, Man can fill a girl's tummy for how many months? ttt[/color]

9 months

lana_Vello: while awaiting el guapo....there is a word,if you remove the first,middle and last letter. it still sounds the same. what is it?

Aisle