₦airaland Forum

lautech students be like Do you think you are doing me? ,you are doing yourself.. can help with the pics

sister shade come and see this and stop crying all around

hmm....this is the end of America. trust me

Good evening to everyone, especially Nigerian Americans. They need it most. Happy elections. Don't think I'm crazy for greeting you happy elections, in Nigeria we greet people about everything. You have to get used to this now because you are coming back home. So, Eku election.

I very much understand that you will soon be sent packing from there, so I have taken it upon myself to prepare you for the transition. You have just a little time left there, utilize that time to learn more about Nigeria that you are coming back to.

In Nigeria, we don't have light. Buy power bank while coming. Don't say I didn't tell you. Buy power Bank from there because the ones here are just like your marriages, they don't last. Buy a quality one from the abroad when coming. Also, make sure you charge your phone full before coming here. You should also save money for generator. Buy rechargeable lamps and plenty torchlight too.

Also, save enough money for subscription. There is no free WiFi here. For those of you that will be settling in Lokoja, Jidenna and Co, I'll advice you to buy a glo line. Their network is strong.

Save enough money for emergency transport. You will be deported to Nigeria and by the time you get to the airport, you will need to board a keke from the airport to the badagry refugee centre, from where your ancestors had been shipped to America before. Fuel don cost, transport don increase.

Do you eat moi moi? Learn it. In Nigeria you cannot sit down and order pizza anytime you want. The only order you can make is when you yell to the moi moi seller across the road to bring hot moi moi for you.

Learn proper home training. In Nigeria the only time the police will arrest your parents for hitting you is after you are dead already. And they will later settle the case as "a family affair". If you think you can come here to speak 'innit' for your parents, it's the neighbours that will help them beat you.

Are you a graduate? Doesn't matter. There is no job. Your American accent will not give you a job, except your father knows someone who knows another person that knows a politician, you won't have a job.

Dear American Lover Boy, Nnewi girl will not go Dutch with you. As a matter of fact, no Naija girl will go Dutch with you. You have to prove your masculinity by paying for the date. No one is splitting the bills with you when you take a girl on a date.

When you bruise with a stranger in the market, PLEASE CHECK IF YOUR PENIS IS STILL INTACT.

Learn the Nigerian names of common products. No one will sell "sausage rolls" for you. If you can't call it the Nigerian name- "Gala", no one would have time for you. Noodles is "Indomie". Pasta is "spaghetti". All seasoning is "maggi".

Dear American girl, you cannot dress anyhow you like. Your neighbours will eye you. The random old woman in the market will hiss at you. The random lady in the bus will preach to you. The area boys will jeer you. You might want to report "harassment" to the police, they will arrest you for indecent dressing.

Dear lovers, in Nigeria we don't show public display of affection. You cannot be kissing your boyfriend under the rain. The old woman passing by will invoke thunder to strike the both of you.

These are some of the basic tips to help you adapt after you have been deported. More to come in the evening.

team architecture... not a course you can teach or lecture so it's very cost

once there is love....

when will people start minding their own business

apcmustwin:
When will Nigerians stop disgracing themselves upanda with their brainwashed mentality of a foreign religion?

she is from Ghana. so less insult

wellstryme:
it is not my house

an advice to the owner's

call on architect and engineers not bricklayer's

sexy Lady..

craze dey worry her

I live at owode ota...k know how it feels...omo Ogun.. don't worry na Ogun go kill all the person wey dey loot our treasury..u no go like see the house d governor is building against his retirement ...
choi u go fear.. ordinary gate house strong pass some banks talk more of the main building and also a sky scrapper in pansheke ...I pity our future.. and yet he can't repair ordinary road yet he get money to build

proudly mapaites

I thought i am the only one this is happeninig to.i might have to quit nairaland because of it's making me an atheist small small.but something in me keeps telling me that Allah still exist.and i dont want to be lost finally .Robisidin Illimi..Allahu Allam.

people can conclude sha...if he had edited the photo..u will only notice the pink lips.and people will still complain for editing the photos

..after seizing the goods.after a month they sell them at cheaper rates

warrisdis..

the thing sef dey irritate person

nice one

PierreDeFermat:
he's chopping his father grind? Are you close to him to know?

nairaland yaf ban me

this one goatness messi

lemme say mr Ogunleye of pakoto high school.
BTW which one is junior primary school?
senior primary school dey?

incase...

their man won..

when they have use simi song jamb question send their future husband away

PierreDeFermat:
so,he stole our money to build and renovate house for his father abi? And they go dey praise am say na olu omo. They know wan know say hin be thief. Africans sha. Those wey no fit thief money no be Olu omo

Our mentality ☺ olu omo

PierreDeFermat:
he's chopping his father grind? Are you close to him to know?

not really close I stay at his backyard
in fact he just renovate the house he built for his father

JUSTEES:
And now were he in ogun state politics he has lost his opportunity,

if even if he HAS lost his place in politics he is still chopping the grind his father left for him
BTW hustle hard so your children won't hustle much

Rilwayne001:
Poly students

lemme just assume you've gat no sense

Tinubu our Man

we don hear