₦airaland Forum

diddy4:
you are one funny girl. u just can't take a defeat. like that.

Thanks!

I'm glad u guys like it. I enjoyed it myself. it's something to get your brain kicking.

Nutter:
Nice quiz favour5. I tripped-up on the maths question (had to get my cally out to make sure you were not messing with me! ) and the one about the blind man . Perhaps you should have held on to the answers for a bit until people posted replies. Good one though - got any more?

Will bring in more when I lay my hands on them.

@micklplus
hmmm u try well well. i v u sent it to anyone? it could go a long way, u know

@builder
oh that was really funny. ur letter made me laugh and the form just sent me rolling. u mean in ur time such forms really worked? i mean babes actually filled and returned them?
men!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that was like applyin for a job vacancy


@emenno
why don't u send yours to me. i promise not to laugh.

too bad i never received such letters. GSM and email spoil show for me

ok. i had ruled out pizza for you.

I'm glad u guys liked it. I found them all easy, the one about the blind man was confusing though but I still got it. does it mean I'm smart? 

@diddy4
don't worry, it's all about learning. Now I believe u've learnt a slang
as for ur generalisation on women and men making mistakes, i'll leave that till u explain ur base for it.

by the way, no need to fear women. u can't live without them

Dr. Chris Asoluka, ever an interesting person, told
a story which illustrates the Nigerian condition and
vividly depicts why many now walk away from Omelas.
According to Asoluka, a pastor was driving on an
inter-state road when he met a team of policemen
who, quite naturally, wanted 'something' from him.
Since he was not prepared to play their games, they
asked for his papers and having combed through
everything without any offence with which to nail
the 'stubborn' pastor, they now asked him to open
the bonnet of his car. A careful scrutiny of the
engine number against what was on paper revealed
that letter U was written in such a way that it
could be mistaken for letter V. That was all the
officer-in-charge needed to shout "stolen vehicle"!
Sensing trouble, even when he knew he committed no
offense, the pastor called the OC to say he was a
priest to which the officer replied: "Please, leave
that pastor thing, in any case, if you are indeed a
pastor, then you must have a Bible in your car,
bring it."

The Pastor did as was commanded after which the
officer now ordered: "Please read Matthew 5:25, 26
to me". The incredulous Pastor opened to the
recommended passage and read: "Settle matters
quickly with your adversary who is taking you to
court. Do it while you are still with him on the
way, or he may hand you over to a judge, and the
judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may
be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth, you
will not get out until you have paid the last
penny."

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman
may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a
description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper
ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch . . , you may choose any man from a particular
floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down
except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find
a husband . . . . .

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!"she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the
housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign
reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Below are four questions and a bonus question.You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time.Answer all of them immediately. OK?

Let's find out just how clever you really are.

Ready? GO!!!





First Question:

You are participating in a race.
You overtake the second person.
What position are you in?




















Answer: If you answered that you are first,
you are absolutely wrong!
If you overtake the second person and you take his place,you are second!




Try not to make a mistake in the next question.


To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question.

Second Question:

If you overtake the last person, then you are, ?













Answer: If you answered that you are second to last,you are wrong again.

Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?


You're not very good at this! Are you?



Third Question:

Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only.Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.



Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30.Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10.What is the total?














Did you get 5000?



The correct answer is actually 4100.



Don't believe it? Check with your calculator!


Maybe you will get the last question right?



Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters:1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3.Nini, 4. Nono.What is the name of the fifth daughter?












Answer: Nunu? NO! Of course not.Her name is Mary. Read the question again.



Okay, now the bonus round:

There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush.By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

There is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses,how should he express himself?








Answer: He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol - Dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead.
Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead.
Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation, "What can you learn from this demonstration?"

A little old woman in the back quickly raised her hand and said,"As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate

, you won't have worms!"

Isn't it funny how people communicate? For those who have lost their love-letter writing skills, you could make use of such lyrics.

REPLY
Dear Honie
My Love, My Sugar, i was exasperated with pride to have received one from you, the lungs in my body flapped with joy when i have been reading your letter. Anyway by now you have reached the realisations to why i am jotting this small letter to you, yes it is to see if you are keeping with the sands of time.
How is everything on that other side of yours? Well here everything is just half lemon half sugar to makeit schweppes. How is your schooling? How are you pulling the wagons of life? I am just pulling the schooling thing like a donkey pulling a cart.

My honie, i am missing you very much right now, my heart is perambulating with every word that i write, if it was not for these oceans that decided to flow between us then i would get on the next bus to come and see you, but until then i know that i will not hesitate to put this blue blood on this paper and write to you. I remember that day lovie, that one sweet day as Maria Curry sanged it, you know that it is my favorites song honie, the one day that we were boarding the combies and you escorted me to my home, walking with you just brought sweet dreams to me for the rest of my life honie.

If words of love could ride a bicycle I would be competing against Diego Maradona. Anyways, i will not stop you from reading the books that give you life and education so I will stop here for today.
Please always writing to me because I am missing you like sugar misses tea. You can see my foto below

My dedications to you are :


Maria Curry - One Sweet Day.

Boys to Main - And of the Rod

Keep well my mop of my heart, Yours in flesh and in blood, Ruise Sugar Baby

P.S. Sorry about my english, I did not learn anymore

Dear Sugar

Time and ability plus double capacity has forced my pen to dance automatically on this benedicted sheet of paper. Why! this miraculous thing happened is because papie I love you spontaneously and as I stand horizontal to the wall and perpendicular to the ground I only think of you, since you are a fantastic and fabulous guy. papie please Stop haranguing with the feelings in my heart because I love you more than a snake loves rat. To me each day starts by thinking of you and ends by dreaming of you. Each time I see you my metabolism suddenly stops and my peristalysis goes in reverse gear My medular-oblandata also stops functioning.

Crazy crazy crazy you may say but this is true. If only you knew what is going on in my encephalon you would understand. That's why I need to see you face to face with you, soon. I think I have to pen-off hear because I still haven't finished studying electrolysis and polymerization. Catch you pa- later. Sleep tight and don't let those bed bugs ever bite you because you are too sweet a thing for them.
Yourz Ever,
Sugar nonoza

diddy4:
@favor
umm, she is a woman not a man.

in this case, the word "man" is unisex. just a slang common among d carribeans

Jakarta


B

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter."
With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.
God got mad and said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created, you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only, one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"
And the man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."

Vieira:
LOL!


all this talk of TRUE love and bullshit is just wishful thinking but if it helps you to sleep better at night then good luck to you all.

abeg tell them ooooo

Fuzhou


Q

@mamaput thanks! got my confidence back

Olumide7:
Thanks for the speech. As you said,"everyone is entitled to his or her opinion" so why shouldn't they antagonize what you wrote? Listen, don't get me started? U sound very desperate!! U need serious help!!!!!

abeg olumide7 no start. spare am. he has heard enof. like u said na desperation make im write dat kind thing

does disease go?

ikamefa:
nope
not a big fan of pizza

hmmmm i see.
by the way, don't eat ketchup (except in pizza )

ikamefa:
onions
pickles
cheese

dolly -pee:
cheese and pepperoni.

so you don't eat pizza?

Ekaterinburg


Y

iice:
I don't eat alot of things, real picky with food because i got sensitive stomach and my taste buds don't agree with many foods
I eat jst one type of mushroom, don't knw the name in english
I don't eat snakes, snails, calamari, frogs and things like that
Suffice 2 say am picky

u don't eat snails? think u missing. thot i was picky

no need to be shocked, it's real!

@ eveseh
http://www.avert.org/femcond.htm

look at this

is it true that bot-bellied men are sick? I mean not a sign of healthy living?

@eveseh just did. really wierd

michy:
everybody should wear a dress that is not ironed.ironed dresses are forbidden
i know that onw will suit u well

hmmmm , wonder if they'll agree. what do you say? we call a summit to discuss that?
we say G2 summit? 2 because it's either u r for or against  

michy:
they will iorn till they die
let me sugest something since u hate ironing.
pray that the world wil agree on something
can u guess

let me try, stop wearing clothes?