₦airaland Forum

boiz2men:
If the boy were on nairaland. He would Break up with you first after reading all these.


I have a feeling if you even break up with him, he wouldn't care. He would just move on.

Dude is not gonna come begging, who dates a girl without sexing her.

Where that one dey happen


He is still bearing the title ya bf cos of the money you give him.

Cos a guy I don't Sex is ya friend not ya bf.


How does one know ya bf from ya friends

I think it's Sex that makes the difference

LOOOOOOOL!!! Now this is the same reason why I dont have sex with men because that is all you think about when you date a girl.
Also what is the point in having sex when he has nothing to offer me apart from sex and being nice to me? A relationship is more than just sex. Plus I dont want to have sex with a man who only wants my money and also if he is broke and I get pregnant I am gonna be the one suffering and regretting and I would have to take care of the baby all byself just coz my man is still a baby himself.

So please I have already broken up with him and blocked his number. I dont have time to waste. If your gonna base a relationship on just sex, you are not the kind of man I want. So go and find someone who want as ur intimacy gadget.

Have a good day sir.

[quote author=MichaelSokoto post=53223504][/quote]Ehhhn? What is it? I want to wait till marriage thanks.

Ogas na wetin be dis na?

ikp120:
Hmmm. Good you've started ignoring him.

No, it doesn't really spell troubles. It will reveal how honest and open the guy is with you. No girl should be dating a guy who is not honest and open with her.

The problem is that most girls hardly ask really deep questions that have the potential to reveal the guy's real nature.

As for me, I'm even the one who asks the questions most of the time when I'm trying to get to know a girl. That's really the only way to see through a person.

Lool I was always too scared to ask. But what questions do you generally ask?

ikp120:
Lol.

Babe stop wishing and start ignoring him. Just ignore him. I repeat ignore everything about him. He is probably one of those Nigerian fraudsters and playboys who know how to deal with babes over there.

I see you as a sister and cannot watch you waste your life with an asshole who might even have at least 3 other girls he's currently dating, who are also his cash cows.

Next time when you start off knowing a guy, always ask him deep questions about his past, present and future plans. That's the only way to really know a person.

Aww thank you for your advice. I have started to ignore him already. Yes I always think so too coz I always wondered where he h=gets his money from to go to school etc coz once u reach over the age of 18 in the UK u dont get no more free travel pass anymore and it aint cheap so I knew something was off but assumed his brother might be giving him money. But anyways, thanks so much bross. Really can count on nairaland(my home and motherland).

I though asking guys deep questions means spells trouble?

ikp120:
I seriously wish say I fit hack her phone, heart, mind and soul right now and delete everything about that guy from there.

Loool. U are free to do that but u will never guess my passcode plus u also have to bypass my biometric finger print too

Joke aside, I have listened to everyone's advice and I knew deep down, I was mummying or rather babying a grown ass man.

How I wish I never met him and fell for his niceness and how I wish the first day I met him, I could see all his traits everything.

Ishilove:
Have you finished motivating yourself? Have you finished motivating your brothers? With all your motivation, where has it gotten you? Don't you need motivation yourself? Are you read to keep mollycuddling a grown ass man?

Better wake up seriously and find your way otherwise you will keep spending money on an overgrown, immature teen. You have a veeeery long way to go in life and the last thing you need is a hanger on who is contributing nothing to your life.

One last thing: Why exactly are you dating this guy? Have you defined your relationship with him?

Thanks for your advice. I have been contemplating breaking up with him for a while now but since ai dont date that much and since I am young and naive, I just wanted the opinion of the grown ups first.

slimthugchimee:
now square it

9

boiz2men:
Vex ke

Life is full of choices. You made yours

Nothing to vex for

Good

truthsayer007:
hahahah, my man no wan enter friend zone.

These girls don't knw what they want I swear !

Eheeeemmmmm. I do know what I want but I haven't broken up with him yet. Before you start calling me an a ashawo. I know how guys feel about been friend zoned and I will never lead a man on if I do see a relationship with him or if I don't like him that way. Plus again I am still with my bf. How would you like it if u found out ur girl is seeing another guy while with you? Please oga.

Nma27:
Give him d idea that he's about losing you? The guy is pretty young and I think he needs a hard jolt to straighten him up.

Yes that is why I came here and I think he knows this and I told him this evening saying we need to talk and I told him it's about his ambitions etc and he said he understands and cares for me and he is ready to change and says he needs help improving his cv etc which seems like a good step so fingers crossed by I don't know if it's all talk but we will see how it goes.

truthsayer007:
Its obvious that you really like this guy. Or maybe the sex is blowing your mind.

The only way to motivate him is to break up with him. If its fine Yoruba boys in UK you need. They are plenty of them doing masters program lol. Just open your eyes.

Lool yes I do care for him and sigh... no we haven't had sex yet just waiting till marriage and I told him this already.

cummando:
Filashade chapter one verse 1 to 59

Loool sorry oo.

boiz2men:
OK suit yourself.

U dry vex? No be u naija men that say "these hoes ain't loyal" in Chris brown's voice.

joey150:
jeez. all that epistle just to advice you on your bf issues...

you've gotta be kidding me.

if you no do again tell him...if you say na love then keep suffering in silence.

Okay......I know the post was long but wanted you guys to know everything first hand. This is why I don't like posting or don't post anything on nairaland but thanks.....

boiz2men:
If you looking for an ambitious person. Maybe we should give each other a chance. I love skinny girls and can you cook? If yes, send me a pm.

Chances are you gonna tell ya friends the weird story of meeting ya Mr right after this post.

I'm outta school and self employed.

Loool. I can cook yes but not Nigerian food just the usual. Lool I am prepared to work on my relationship and I don't double date. I would give it a thought if things don't go well with my bf plus I would rather we be friends than start dating straight away. I hv learn about this in the past. U dnt want to be a rebound do u?

thorpido:
What do you like about this boyfriend of yours?The sex?

Lool never had sex with him so that's out of the question. I would like to wait before marriage thanks.

Well he makes me laugh, he is a good listener and is very attentive, he always calls to check up on me and texts and just the little things you know etc although he is annoyed we have not been intimate yet but I already told him he has to wait if we do get married.

But I just want to see how I can motivate him you know. I don't want to change him i just want him to be ambitious but that that means changing him right? And do you motivate someone when you have spoken to them etc and they will change for a few days hen go back to it although he is working now which is a good start but I don't know how long that will last and the fact that he begs me for money is another thing.

cummando:
She say the boyfriend no dey work
She say the boyfriend;
He dey craze
He dey mad
He dey gbongbolo cigar
He no go marry sis I
He go marry orkpolo....
And she go soon kee am

.....summarized

Lool ur not serious

Nma27:
Motivate him. Help him become a better man na

That is why I am here coz he is a nice guy and I don't want to give up on him. But I have tried to but he changes then goes back to his old ways. I want him to be man and not a boy, I want him to grow or of his childish in asking me to do things for him and instead do things himself.

But what suggestions can you give to motivate him?

Tastemoney:
If he's unmotivated, try and motivate him nau
.
Or if u feel u can't, then call it a quit.....is that too hard to do?


Meanwhile, u must be a talkative in real life ... Ain't u?

I have tried to, when I try to all he wants to do is stay at home and doesnt like the cold and doesnt want to spend money coz he is broke and that means I have to spend money on him all the time. I am not saying he should spend on me, I want him to spend on himself, take care of himself etc.

Lool I am not a talkative, I do talk but not a lot, infact I am genuinely quiet only talk when I need to say something or if its important really.

slimthugchimee:
just pick any random number wanna show you something

3

slimthugchimee:
op pick a number

what do you mean? I don't seem to get you(sorry)

Hey Guys,

So I have a bf who I have been dating for 5 months now and I have this issue which i have overlooked severally and told myself that I might be paranoid but I am beginning to think otherwise.

So I am 22 an engineer and my bf is 23 and a Yoruba guy who repeated his first year again on another course and is going to uni full time. I work full time and go to school part time very saturdays and I am in my final year about to finish in August.

Now the issue I have with him is that, he never has any money at all ever since I have none him, he has never bought me not even a £0.10 sweet and I am not a materialistic girl. He is always broke and I gave him £50 for his birthday and he needed £50 the last time which I gave him and now he wants me to lend him £50 and promised to give me back and I hv ignored his request.

Now what really pains me the most is the fact that all he does is play video games all day, told me he was on a football betting website or some sort, wasnt working before until I told him and he got a job but now he had an interview like 2 days ago but told me the company dont care about their staff and are not a good company. So he asked me to text him a message on his number pretending to be the company and say his interview was re-scheduled and I found that odd and was gonna ask him why but I didnt say anything and did it anyways but sill kept it at the back of my mind.

Throughout our relationship, he had a coursework/assignment to do and he asked me like 2 do his assignment for him as in and I was working and also going to school and he only goes to school 2 days in one week and at the time was not working so I was like he wasnt doing anything at all but all he does is watch movies all day or play games. Anyways coz I know men say we women nag a lot I kept my cool and tried my best to find some good sites he could do a research on and he still asked me if that is good enough for his assignment and I was like look I am here busy at work and also have my own assignment or exams to do and he said its okay dont worry.

Now another time he had a letter to write for someone who needed a stay permenently in the UK and he had a letter already but needed to type it out and fill in the blanks its sort of like a template and this guys asked me to type the letter for him and I was like seriously? Anyways again, I am very patient person and didnt say anything and even though I was busy a work I still typed it out for him and removed from of the errors and sent it to him and he got angry and said why did I change some of the things he letter that when he ask me to do somethign that I should follow instructions, now that is the moment I lost it with him and told him how ungrateful he is and didnt even say thank you. I told never to ask me to do anything for him ever again and he apologised and we moved on.

Now we were supposed to meet up yesterday but hr had asked me remeber to borrow him £50 but I told him early that since I left my previos job like last week for a new one that starts next week, my previous company paid me less/deducted some amount coz I was sick for a week and the policy is that you are not eligible for SSP so sick pay after your resignation notice period so I told him I was gonna be skint this month and my parents bday is february and also I have three brothers and my parents who I still leave with by the way gave me the responsibility sine I started working 3 years and 6 months ago to pay for my brothers food and give them anything they need like toothpaste etc or just money in general (apparently so that I know how it feels to be responsible and take care of a family but I know damn well that isnt true and they just wanted a break from taking care of my brothers and saw my independence of work as an excuse but that is a story for another day - by the way I live with my step mum and my dad). My brothers are now 19, 19 (twins) and 21 but now two of them have student loans and one of the twins is still in college so I still have to take care of him and myself.

So since I have told my bf about this severally, for him to asked me to borrow him money has just made me loose it. For crying out loud yes he is still young and is 23 but I expect him to be at least working, I dont care what the job is as long as it is legal. But know all he wants to do is live with his brother who works by the way and sleep, watch tv and play video games all though.

Don't get me wrong, he is nice and all but he is not ambitious, I have asked him want he wants to become severally and he says he does not know and his new degree course he is doing, he doesnt seem to enjoy or know what he is doing. Although I must say he loves to cook and he gave me some rice and stew which I though was cute of him and was delicious and I thanked him.

Also the last straw was that sine I hadn't seen him for like 5 weeks or so, I was like why dont we meet up this friday (that was from last week) and he asked me what should we do when we meet and I was like hey, lets go the movies etc you know coz I am an old fashion girl anyways, he said movies? and i said yh? and he was like nooo thats rubbish. We should do something else and I was like okay what? He started laughing and said don't you know that body no be firewood and said he wants to have sex and says thats I annoy him at times coz I dont want to have sex and wants to show me some styles we could do and then I knew what sort of guy I was dealing with but again I didnt say anything and hanged up.

So please people before I break up with him because I have had it up to here with him, am I being paranoid or overracting a little or am I a gold digger as you men call it coz I think I have been patient long enough. I have spoken to him about this asked him if I was a booty call babe to him and he said know that I am his girl.

But he doesnt want to go outside as he make silly excuses like, its cold oh I dont have any money or if I come over to his house, oh there is no food in the house so you will have to buy something or the last time I was on my way home from work and he called and said , hey I am hungry can you please buy me some food maybe at Nandos (nandos aint cheap!!) and come over. I was like OMG. Anyways, again I was patient but was about to loose it and I spent over £30 that night for both myself and for him since I though I will be spending time with him. I reached his house, gave him his food and I was expecting him to come and join me and eat his but know, he went to the living room and was playing games and chatting on the phone (whenever I come over he is always on the phone or about to make a call- sigh) anyways, I finished my food and he still hadnt come to the room to eat with me what I bought and he would come to check on me then pack the plate (which is sweet but anyways, it dont cut it). Then he asked me when am I leaving so that his brother can come and sleep, and bare this in mind, I always hear his brother in the house but never see him etc but anyways, I told him I am gonna leave and he asked me if I want him to walk me to the station and I said no, dont bother and I know he could tell I was pissed but I didnt care if I stayed any more second I would have lost it.

Now guys, please tell me I am an ediot for wasting my time with this dude? a lot of people say women love to complain about things and love to nag etc and dont know when a guy loves them but please is it wrong to have a guy who is ambitious, working, or has a plan for the future or something and isnt just sitting in his house the whole day playing games and watching tv. Like I don't understand.

Coz I am about to loose it, he called me yesterday and I told him to whatsapp me coz I am busy(I LIED coz I didnt want to talk to him and just wanted my space) and he boldy said "call me when you are free".

Am I freaking out for no reason guys?

Sorry for the long post but I am just tired of this!! Sorry for any mistaked and punctuation's I may have missed, I am literally writing this on my phone.

modelsms:
Just wonder what women think most if not prince charming that will take them to moon back and forth.Runs out and jumps keke before stone scatter biko

Correction, most of us ladies think about our career and making sure we avoid all these F*CKBOYZ who are disguising themselves as hardworking and good boyz.

There are lots of them around so nooo honey, most women want to enjoy their career before thinking about prince charming coz all these yeye prince charming just want to bleep you and get you pregnant.

Maybe little girls/immature ladies think of men but most of us don't.

We see what men are offering us ladies now and we don't want it thanks

Loool with the way I see it, men and women are looking for a perfect relationship which no longer exists in our era anymore.

I am an old fashioned sort of girl and so far I am disappointed in men in general, I have only started dating for the first time(coz my parents are strict) and already I just want to be single coz people are all talk with no action and men just want someone they can call and get free fling with.

God please send me someone who I hv been hoping for, I just tire for men in general.

They are no longer serious.

Being single is so amazing that I want it asap.

Looool it probably means she didnt want to have sex with you in the first place and after sex she has regretted it even more.

Or she probably didnt enjoy it(like some men would brag that they are good but actually are learners themselves).

Or was she a virgin when you met? if she was, she is probably regretting it ever loosing it.

Loool. I think she is no longer instrested in you and you looking through her phone will show that to you so she is trying everything possible to make sure you dont look through her phone.

Relationships these dayz are something else.

No longer want to be with anyone coz I see there are many time wasters on this earth.

Being single is so much better than being in a relationship now coz I dont want to be chasing someone, wasting my strength, money, time on someone who doesnt care but probably just wants to use u or something else.

I have never loved being single until now. Its so amazing....

Jay542:
But if you were cool with that from the onset, it shouldn't be a problem now.



Just talk to him about it. Don't stress the thoughts. There should be a great sense of understanding in relationships.



Lol. That's if my nigga is guilty sha



Patience is key dear. Just have that in abundance and you'll always be fine

I don't have a problem with it but something just seems off with him at times. I dont know. I am not one of those ladies that date a lot coz I literally find it very hard to trust people.

WiLdFLame:
the hdwritings were clearly on the wall then.you just wanted to linger on to d bad rope-oneside love- he doest noth love u.
.
nevertheless i pray thee, do not be influenced wrongly.dont let ur love be OPPORTUNISTIC like ladies of nowadays

Thanks for your advice. I guess I lingered on thinking he could change but I guess that is not the case.

I am not even sure about this my current relationship. I am always now thinking of being single again.

DESNAT:
https://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/bp.gif

Loooool na true talk oooo. I have never experienced it but from everyones opinions that is what is flying about.

Jay542:
I stop giving my girl my phone cos she was always keeping tabs with my whatsapp and text messages

Girls have to learn to always feel secure about their man.

Loool I do understand what you mean.

At least u used to give your girl your phone. Mine has NEVER given me his phone.

I would usually start thinking dirty things in my head if it was in the past but God always has a way of exposing things even when you dont ask for it. So I know if my man is cheating, God will reveal it to me. I am so patient mehhhn.

People seem to forget that even if you are brilliant at hiding a dirty secret, it will always come out in the end and that is when you realise you lost something very precious.

I have all the patience in the world.