₦airaland Forum

Nigeria getting back her glory days slow and steady. Thank you Jagaban. Abeg make haters them no quote me.
God bless Nigeria and no where else.

Kipaji:
I have been thinking about this too. And I also came to the realization that most men are not the gatekeepers of relationships/commitment.


First of all, let's see why women are the gatekeepers of sex.
As you said, "women control access to intimacy—they decide who gets it and under what conditions." Take a random woman out there, let's call her Abiola. Being a woman, Abiola has many guys who would like to have sex with her. There are colleagues, classmates, neighbors, clients, churchmates, online acquaintances, and many more who have made their direct or indirect advances. But, whether any of these men get to have sex with her depends on her. She is the person who decides whether any of these men get to have access to her body. In effect, she gatekeeps sex FROM THESE MEN. If there are 15 men that would like to have sex with Abiola, then Abiola is the gatekeeper of sex from these 15 men.
Since 99% of women out there have at least one guy that would like to have sex with her (regardless of her age, beauty, economic status, intelligence or personality), any woman is EFFECTIVELY gatekeeping sex FROM AT LEAST ONE MAN. Therefore, it makes sense to say that "women are the gatekeepers of sex."

Now, let's examine the men side.
It is said that "men are the gatekeepers of commitment." But I have come to the realization that most men are not "gatekeeping" commitment/relationships from anybody.
Think about it. How many men have girls that would like to be in a relationship with them? The average man out there is not being checked out by any woman. No woman cares about him, no woman thinks about being in a relationship with him, and women couldn't care less about his commitment. So, if he is the gatekeeper of commitment, WHO IS HE GATEKEEPING THAT COMMITMENT FROM when there are no girls that would like to be in a relationship with him? If you are a man, and you believe you are the gatekeeper of commitment, please take a pen and a paper, and write down the names of the girls you think you are gatekeeping that commitment from. If you can't think of any girl, just know that you aren't gatekeeping shît. If there are, say, three girls that would like to be in a relationship with you, then you are the gatekeeper of sex (only) AS FAR AS THESE THREE GIRLS ARE CONCERNED.
Since most men out there have no woman that would like to be in a relationship with them, I don't think it makes sense to say that "men are the gatekeepers of commitment."

The truth is, nowadays, women are indeed the gatekeepers of BOTH relationship and sex. For most (not all) men, it is women who decide who gets into a relationship and who gets sex. Virtually any woman knows at least one man that would like to be in a relationship with her; she is effectively gatekeeping commitment from that one man. But can we say the same for the average man out there? Is there a woman he is effectively gatekeeping commitment from? Is there a woman he can get into a relationship with today, if he wanted to?

Only a minority of men (I'd say around 30%) are truly gatekeepers of commitment. The rest have NOBODY to gatekeep their (undesired) commitment from.


@Nyascobar1414
@Dpsychologist
@ThinkSmarter
@FitCorper

Na man wey never unlock himself for beast mode na him de beg woman for sex or relationship. One advice for all men have zero tolerance for disrespect, ie learn to cut people off without being mad at them. For those in relationships already use ur actions not words to let your girlfriend know if she misbehave u don run away be that, be stoic in ur dealings. U can’t imagine the number of girls I roll with and I don’t even have to sleep with most but some are comfortable enough to bath and change in front of me, afterwards they discuss their relationship problems with me afterwards indeed “some men are dogs” I spit on them. No self control whatsoever only sex, sex, more sex and money they have to offer. All I wrote will make sense only to the lucky few who have outgrown lust. I want to make it a point of duty to befriend as many ladies as I can so as to continue learning about women, in my quest so far I found nairaland will mislead u. Until u can take ur sexual urge u are just another zombie in the matrix.
I will proudly insist “MEN ARE GATEKEEPERS OF COMMITMENT”. Even that sex thing sex no be women get am, catch woman one on one sweet talk her ear and be bold enough to play with her hair, arms ( I no say make u break am) any body part not covered by cloth all these while maintaining eye contact and being jovial u go discover say them de sabi wet well well. 😂 But remember no means no.

After God na government. Without a country to house a kingdom there would be no emir.

What sort of outdated news is dis? As at today April 4th at about 3:12pm oil prices stands at 60.9$ and nairaland is here reporting 70$ oga o

You say wetin Even dead body no safe again?

bigdawg7:
Life is mysterious but nobody can hold your blessings not even your father

Dey play u hear.

kodeforce:
sad truth for folks like me, but true. I believe you're Christian. are you saying christianity no longer guide morality in relationships ?

some things shouldn't happen imo..we're just setting standards for a flawed society

Bro I’m a Christian, but I will strongly advise u to go on a fucking spree with her first and then both of u try to salvage a godly relationship, since both of u are fighting for a common goal after (celibacy till marriage) it will give u both time to start a beautiful journey together, one filled with plenty of lashing and remorse. 😂

Nyascobar1414:
If a man can control his sexual urge..
Then automatically,vvomen don't exist in his world

U cannot truly control ur sexual urge until u Bleep a girl well and even after making her cum multiple times she still leaves u to pursue the thrills of being with someone new, then u begin regretting all the sperm u wasted on her and what those sperm would’ve done to ur body (make u bearded, deep voice, dick becomes thicker, skin shiny, mood and mental health elevated, purposeful) if u didn’t give it cheaply to her. It is only when u can come to this realization and are ready to start again, only then will u be able to control ur sexual urge. This is what I call “rapture”. But na only Baba God de run am of not u fit just hate women and turn gay. But women seeet sha, just don’t rush to commit as a man.

AngelicDamsel:
Sex is the game changer.

Men want sex, women want commitment.




An alpha male does not commit cheaply

An alpha female does not sex cheaply.

U sabi game jare

kodeforce:
👏👏👏
I usually date towards marriage right from when I was younger, I actually hoped that by now I would have been running strong a 2-4 year relationship leading to marriage and the past 4 years I've tried all sorts of techniques in getting a lady to stay. I'm quite productive as a person as well.

Baba b4 dat girl will take ur friendship serious na after sex with u. Funny but true, Bleep her and Bleep her well, then just be casual with her and I can guarantee u she will profess her love at some point. That’s when u win but I hope over sex don’t make u lose ur ballz.

Penguin2:
Sadiq Umar seems to be more talented in controversy than in football.

If you look at this Google map below, anybody traveling from Port Harcourt to Kano should ordinarily not have any business with Edo State at all not to talk of Uromi of all places.

A trip from Port Harcourt to Kano should ordinarily take the traveler through Port Harcourt-Enugu Expressway and pass through Enugu City to Nsukka and then Benue and connect to the Markurdi-Akwanga Expressway and then the Abuja-Lokoja Expressway.

Once in Abuja, the traveler begins to head up north to whichever part of the north he’s going.

So, wetin ‘Hausa hunters’ go find for Uromi?

Look at dis ignorant fellow. So u dnt knw edo is the border between North and south? Na dat Uromi side u go follow enter north? Shorter route from port-onitsha-asaba-uromi-Auchi-Okpella-lokoja-Abuja-kaduna-kano. Ignorance just full nairaland.

Na so most people de do. They will order ride and won’t be reachable, so more wicked ones will give u directions for pickup only for u to get there and they’re switched off, some will order ride as soon as u accept boom! They cancel and all these things have negative impact on drivers score. Sometimes sef u will want to beat up some runs girls and yahoo boiz who are rude but when u remember say na bolt u take de survive and if they report u it can attract 6months suspension u will just calm down and keep quiet til they get down. Anything for 5 star ratings is important 😂. In all this has been a much needed experience and I will enjoy it whilst it lasts, it’s taught me to be patient.

One word of advice. As u are friends just continue nursing her and hatch her without ever making the mistake of asking her out. It is when u guys nack without lieing to ur self (forming relationship) that u will know her true character. She gives u sex and keeps u company and then u give her cash when u can afford to (na Wetin most relationships de about and u can enjoy them without being in a relationship) Let her prove herself no rush give ur commitment.

StillDtruth:
Like you are not the ones who shout loudest laughing and finishing him when he wears the same shirt he wore last year.

.
I don talk am b4 and I go still talk am again, if ma heartbreak from woman be the cause of ur enlightenment and u r not strong as a man u fit leave woman begin burst man yansh. But like ihedi light of Africa use to say “men ought to stand in love and not fall in love”.

When it’s all said and done, at the end of the day this generation will know we are not the most intelligent neither na we first open eyes. Just like people have been born and they died since the beginning of time so also will we be and this also will be continous. They just put a label “gen-z” just to get to their head and it’s working. But las las everybody eyes go open.

Contrary to what you wrote, “men are still the gatekeepers of commitment”. But it all starts in the mind; once you experience “rapture” (brutal and critical mindset shift) then u naturally shift sex at the back of your mind and make your purpose and family ur top priority, trust me bro women will be so easy for you to bed and it’s left for you to determine who to commit to from a pool of women. When I hear guys saying they love their girlfriends and can’t do without them, immediately I know they have the scarcity mindset. Make urself ur priority and work hard on urself (hit the gym, learn a high income skill, elevate ur status, work on ur confidence and tidy ur hygiene+grooming) get these right and u will know there are still babes who approach guys even in Nigeria.

I will only commend her after putting a lot of things into consideration, while staying at his family house does he work? Is his presence felt at home or he is just a mama thank you kinda guy? What are his future plans for his self and potential family? I say this because I know so many Egbon then as kids who stayed with their family u til they got married before moving out, and the ones I’m using as examples worked at reputable IOC’s. Ladies should learn to ask questions and discuss findings with trusted advisors.

The Fulani herdsmen I knew as a child back in the early 90’s up u til late 2000’s were nice and peaceful people who only knocked on your door whenever they need water to drink and thereafter leave quietly. How they’ve been so villainfied this much is still a surprise to me. I hope government protects them from all these media propaganda. Mischievous elements are out to exterminate the Fulani race, but God no go gree.

It’s been almost over 1 year since I’ve been in a relationship. About a month plus if I’m not mistaken, one lady we just finished to wear. Still cuddly and naked she said “I love you cathedra” I just replied her “Shey ya Werey ni”. We burst into deep laughter afterwards but I think she got the memo tho. let’s just Bleep and forget about love.

Bunch of jokers.

chidifrank:
Is it profitable to be using my sienna 04 for this uber or i should sell it and get a small car. I really don't wish to sell the sienna because I might still be needing it in the future

Why u nor use the sienna take run interstate or cross country. Money de those nurtw drivers skin.

That financial test is what I don’t understand about modern dating. Once I sense u being smart as a lady I just withold certain things. To me I feel a man who encourages all round growth in a lady should be taken more serious than someone who only offers money. In all as a guy make sure u end up with a woman who truly listens to you.

Samantha125:
Here's an advice from a lady... Approach her and when you get to her say the following:

You: Excuse me, is your name Hosh Karamaima?😌😌😌
Her: what the hell is hosh karamaima?😡😡😡
You: it's an exceptionally beautiful and distinguished woman characterized by harmonious blend of striking physical features and admirable qualities...😌😌😌
Her: Oh! My God, I don't know what to say...😅😅😅
You: ( you then introduce yourself and continue the conversation to whatever direction you want).

Thank me later, bye...🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

Nice one. Telling her she’s beautiful without necessarily saying it.

Samleke77:
Land ke

Don’t buy any land o

Buy land buy land

Bought land 5yrs ago
Till now I can’t sell it

Don’t even bother going into any estate these online agents are advertising for you to keep it
You will sell later

The developers just want to eat your money
Very wicked people
They just fence the estate and move to the next

Land is still the best way to save money. He should avoid all those agents and so on, instead go inform ur dad or any of his dads brother. I’m not talking about his daddy step brother (cos those ones worse pass agents) but rather one with same mother and father just like his dad. Whichever area they take u to make sure u watch out for Nigerian post office and signs of encroaching development.

Op u know the answer already. He should save the money up by investing at least 25m in lands which is a good way of saving money. He should continue living his normal life and ditch plans of japa. When the time is right he can liquidate some of the lands and purchase some dollar as experts believe we will see below 1000# to a dollar during Jagaban tenure. He should be careful because not everyone can survive sudden wealth, it can even cost some peoples life.

I just pity anyone running out of Nigeria to seek greener pastures abroad. By the time Jagaban is done with Nigeria even foreigners would want to seek greener pastures here. He who has an ear let him hear what the spirit says to the earthlings.

Na normal na. So why e enter front page? Or have u seen a school offering certificate without payment?

LUAN:
what is monkey tail?

If u see where dem de sell monkey, go buy the tail reach house boil am, filter the water and begin drink am every morning.

GEHGEH of nairaland. Bro pray make God bless u so u won’t consider normal things as a big deal. When I have I help out, not only ladies. Anytime I enter any filling station and I see elderly people I just buy fuel for any two my spirit leads me to help. So also it goes for ladies, if it’s in my spirit to help I do that asap without expecting anything in return, most times self I don’t even reply to their thank you. But you see that God bless u from the elderly men I know it’s from their heart and I accept it wholeheartedly. We all know women have short memory so help them if u can and not because u are expecting a reward from them.