₦airaland Forum

On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual and to greet the passengers. He tells them at what altitude they’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather, and advises them to relax and have a good flight, Then, forgetting to turn off the microphone, he says to his co-pilot, "What would relax me right now is a cup of coffee and a Mouth Gig."All the passengers hear it. As a stewardess immediately begins to run toward the cockpit to tell the pilot of his slip-up, one of the passengers stops her and says "Don’t forget the coffee!" LOL

A man is sitting next to a woman who's trying to breast-feed her baby in a bus. The baby refuses to suck the breast & the mother warns, "If you dont suck, i shall give it to the uncle next to me o". The baby still refuses. After about 10 mins, the woman repeats the 'threat'. The man clears his throat & says, "Look, madam, you better make up your mind o. I suppose don drop six bus-stops ago o!"

A nigerian chewin his bone at kfc, curious english man eatn his biscuits asks "so wat do dogs eats in nigeria?", d nigerian replies Biscuits.

lol

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples." LOL

‎3 Men took there wives to hospital for delivery, Shortly a Nurse came out and ask
Who is joseph that works with 3 crown, Congrats , ur wife as deliverd 3 bouncing babies.
Shortly the nurse came out and ask , who is John that works with 7up, congrats , ur wife as deliverd 7 bouncing babies, immediately the third guy took off,, he ran away Cuz he waz working at 37 Military Hospital. LOL

Difference between Yaradua and Goodluck in in their first 100 days in office: Yaradua - No Kidney, Goodluck - No Liver!

After numerous rounds of "We don't know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send Ted Kennedy a note in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Kennedy opened the note, which appeared to contain a single line of coded message: 370HSSV-0773H.
Kennedy was baffled, so he E-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at the FBI, so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA. With no clue as to its meaning, the FBI finally asked Marine Corps Intelligence for help.
Within a few seconds, the Marines cabled back with this reply: "Tell Kennedy he is holding the message upside down." LOL

Fidel Castro dies and arrives in heaven. When he gets to the pearly gates Saint Peter says "I'm sorry Castro, but you have to go down to hell." SO castro goes down to hell, and when he gets there the devil greets him and says "Oh we're so glad to have you. Welcome, welcome." A few minutes later Castro says "I forgot my suitcases in heaven."
So the devil says "Oh, no problem, I'll send some of my minions to fetch it for you." So when the 2 minions get to heaven they see that Saint Peter is out to lunch and the gates are closed with the suitcases just on the other side. So they decide to climb the fence. Just as they start climbing Saint Peter comes back and sees them so he says "Good god, Castro is in hell for 10 minutes and we already have refugees." LOL

A baby boy was born yday at St Nicholas' hospital laughing instead of crying,, the more d mid-wives beat him d more he laughed like crazy. Suddenly, d doctor noticed he had something in his hand, so he pulled d tiny hand apart & discovers he was holding 3 abortion pills, d baby looked at his mother & said "NO WEAPON FASHIONED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER" LOL

Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, "I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland." The other guy responds proudly, "Yes, that I am!" The first guy says, "So am I! And where abouts from Ireland might you be?" The other guy answers, "I'm from Dublin, I am." The first guy responds, "Sure and begora, and so am I! And what street did you live on in Dublin?". The other guy says, "A lovely little area it was, I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town." The first guy says, "Faith & it's a small world, so did I! And to what school would you have been going?"
The other guy answers, "Well now, I went to St. Mary's of course."
The first guy gets really excited, and says, "And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?"
The other guy answers, "Well, now, I graduated in 1964."
The first guy exclaims, "The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary's in 1964 my own self."
About this time, another guy walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer.
The bartender walks over shaking his head & mutters, "It's going to be a long night tonight, the Murphy twins are drunk again."

 

Be careful who prints your wedding programme! A printer was asked to put 1st John 4:18 on a wedding programme but he made a mistake. Instead he printed John 4:18.

1st John 4:18 says: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear has torment. He that fears is not made perfect in love”

John 4:18 reads : “For you have had five husbands; and he whom you now have is not your husband”
O dear!

Imagine your grand dad on his death bed and his last words were my son,I left you with 100million dollars in the,in the,in the in the and den he dies, wat will u do

Never knew there is a yoruba village in US called Oyo Tunji village located in South Carolina, you can google it. Here is a clip on youtube


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0PcSnAZk7k&feature=related

Kudos to Esther foundation for creating awareness and informing the public on child safeguarding. Child abuse is not something new in Africa most especially Nigeria. 75% of children whilst growing up in Nigeria would have experience one form abuse or the other, yes the percentage seems high and unbelievable but I believe it could be higher than if data are collected. We seriously need more awareness on child safeguarding, whistle blowing and how to spot abuse.

I sincerely pray that justice is done in this case, no child deserve to be abused, they are vulnerable and should be protected and not abused.

RIP Mr Tayo Aderinokun so sad! Was just waiting patiently for his son to confirm it on FB, sadly he has confirmed it too sad,

Rest in perfect peace

Amazing!!!!





Read down to the very
bottom highlighted in green , IT'LL GIVE YOU
GOOSEBUMPS!!!


You
don't want to miss this! ((*_*) )


VERY INTERESTING-

1. The
Garden of Eden was in Iraq

2. Mesopotamia, which is now Iraq , was the cradle of
civilization!

3. Noah built the ark in Iraq


4. The Tower of Babel was in Iraq


5. Abraham was from Ur, which is in Southern Iraq
!


6. Isaac's wife Rebekah is from Nahor, which is in Iraq !


7. Jacob met Rachel in Iraq


8. Jonah preached in Nineveh - which is in Iraq


9. Assyria, which is in Iraq, conquered the ten tribes of Israel


10. Amos cried out in Iraq
!

11 Babylon , which is in Iraq , destroyed Jerusalem


12. Daniel was in the lion's den in Iraq !


13. The three Hebrew children were in the fire in Iraq
(Jesus had been in Iraq
also as the fourth person in the Fiery Furnace!)


14. Belshazzar, the King of Babylon saw the
'writing on the wall' in Iraq


15. Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon, carried the Jews captive into Iraq


16. Ezekiel preached in Iraq
,


17. The wise men were from Iraq
,


18. Peter preached in Iraq
.


19. The 'Empire of Man' described in Revelation is called Babylon
, which was a city in Iraq !


And you have probably seen this one: Israel is the nation most often
mentioned in the Bible.

But do
you know which nation is second?

It is Iraq !

However,
that is not the name that is used in the Bible.



The
names used in the Bible are Babylon , Land of Shinar , and Mesopotamia
, The word Mesopotamia means between the two rivers, more exactly between
the Tigris And Euphrates
Rivers .



The name
Iraq
, means country with deep roots.


Indeed Iraq
is a country with deep roots and is a very significant country in the Bible.


No other nation, except Israel
, has more history and prophecy associated

With it than Iraq


And also, This is something to think about: Since America is
typically represented by an eagle.



Saddam
should have read up on his Muslim passages ,


The following verse is from the Koran, (the Islamic Bible)


Koran ( 9:11 ) - For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle, The wrath of the
Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the
people trembled in despair still more rejoiced; for the wrath of the Eagle
cleansed the lands of Allah;

And there
was peace.


(Note the verse number!) Hmmmmmmm?!

bukky4real:
Pls do, u are not popular on this thread at all especially with the ladies, thread carefully with you use of words

Bukky4real ignore him, he is an infamous character on this site.  He is known by everyone for his aggressive and offensive nature. He clearly lack argumentative skills and cannot pass his point without been offensive.  

Please never allow his intimidating nature get into you at all.

shalom

justwise:
When you get there, tell them to lay hands on you and pray without season, don't leave those churches without getting much needed help. Your case has passed the normal 5mins of madness.

Justwise that word should be ceasing (fervently, non stopping) not season (festive, weather etc) I guess you need to be passionate about you improving your English skills with the several asssswipppppppinnngg posts that you have been regurgitating on this site one would think you would have improve your understanding of the English language. You are aspiring to be an English man, you are better off getting your writing skill sorted out then you can graduate to skin bleaching, then various surgeries such as nose restructuring etc. before thinking of supporting the English man with your dribbles.

Mr justwise, today is Saturday I have got better things to do with my weekend than throwing banter with someone that gladly walked into 21 century slave trade. Kunta Kunte etc have paid the price.

Nice weekend everyone Bleep

justwise:
mental health check up in the UK is actually free, take advantage of it b4 you end up in the street.

   Justwise how do you know that Mental check is free in the UK Guess it takes a service user to know that,  hhmmmmm is there something we need to know about your derange mind

I will definitely go to Mountain of Fire and Miracle, CAC, Jehova witness and  Deeper life to inform them we need strong deliverance sessions for justwise (this wan don pass ordinary eyes).

It is only a basssstarrrrrrddddddaaadd that would despise his father's house. Whatever the case may be good or bad your father is your father, your mother is your mother, your country is your country.

Kilode ode she bi OMO ALEEEE!!! Were were e ti po ju!

JUSTWISE IS A CONFIRMED UK ASSSSSWIPEEERRR!!!


Always anti-Nigeria, Whats your grief about Nigerians Are you scared of been found out I believe it is hi time you stopped writing anything about Nigeria cos we all know that you will never see any good thing about that great country.

LONG LIVE NIGERIA AND GOD BLESS NIGERIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HATTERS SHOULD FFFUUUKKKKKKKKK OOOFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fishhooks:
Thanks Flawless, I just thought I’d explain my position regarding my status as I am seeking advice. I am completely helpless as to what to do if this route isn’t an option.

Vicjustice:
[color=#990000]
However, in every country, a dependant is simply ineligible to invite a guest of any kind. So, as harsh as it may seem, Fishbook is simply unqualified.

Like vicjustice have said, you are not eligible to invite someone cos you are a dependant only your brother can. Just wait till you have you ILR.

fishhooks:
Justwise, Vicjustice and

Flawless link=topic=30156.msg7665599#msg7665599 date=1296818159:
Vicjustice, she said her brother is an EU citizen living in the UK. With the current EU law adults (non EU citizen) can depend on their EU citizen family member. You can visit the home office website and check the EU categories.  It is not an easy route to get leave to remain. It is more complicated than other application and requires lots of proofs before it can be granted, it has a lower success rate (applications).   Hope you get it now?

I completely understand you inability to understand this but it is the truth. I am not a minor, far from it and I did not get my dependant visa though arranged marriage otherwise I would not be seeking to bring my fiancé here. I am still on the dependent visa and seeking to marry someone else while married would be bigamy, which I believe is illegal. I got my visa as a family member as an external family member. My story is as plain as day which is the reason I am seeking genuine advice.

Fishbooks did you read my response above? I did not accuse you of anything, ok?  I have explained what you just posted.  I have do not doubt you (I have a good understanding of UK immigration laws and how it works).

justwise:
Vicjustice i understand where u coming from, i saw that the first time i read the post BUT i did not want to dig deep into it b4 i will be accused of being 'Mr i too know or know it all' .  Reading in between the lines in her post, i don't think she came as a 'sister' to her brother, maybe as a wife or legal partner'. . some sort of an arrangement. . my opinion anyway.

lol

Vicjustice:
Justwise and Flawless,
Could you please explain what i seem not to be getting right here?
Now, Fishbook claims to be a holder of a 5years "Dependant Visa" through her brother, this makes me understand that she is more or less a minor, and now, she is talking about her fiance coming to the UK. How about that, are adults eligible for dependant visas in the UK, no age limit?
In Ireland, a person can not get dependant visa once s/he is over 16, and also, except under compelling reason on humanitarian grounds, and there exist an explicitly formal legal custody, a person is not eligible to adopt his/her sister as a dependant.
How about the UK?

Vicjustice, she said her brother is an EU citizen living in the UK. With the current EU law adults (non EU citizen) can depend on their EU citizen family member. You can visit the home office website and check the EU categories. It is not an easy route to get leave to remain. It is more complicated than other application and requires lots of proofs before it can be granted, it has a lower success rate (applications). Hope you get it now?

fishhooks:
Thank you Justwise. I have got a 5 year EU dependent visa which I am 2 years into. I got it by virtue of my brother who’s an EU citizen. I am entitled to work and all but not sure if that’s as far as my rights go. It’s very difficult getting information on this.

You can't file for your husband until you have the indefinite leave to remain. You are your bro's dependent and he is the only one in this scenario that can file for your brother which wouldnt be easy. I believe if your five years would run out pretty soon, you are better off waiting instead of getting any griefs from these people. He can always come for visits why you would go for visits as well.

justwise:
Papa-London, get urself contact lenses if u can't see properly. You only read my posts and completely blinded to hers.
Both of u are as bad as each other.

Justwise you need to realise and accept that you can't bully me as you tend to bully other innocent soul on this website with your silly false allegations. You nothing but an haggard looking frustrated old man that find solace in hiding behind computer screen by foaming holier than thou attitude. GO ON KEEP DREAMING AND FOREVER LIVE IN YOUR ILLUSION!

ayodeji200:
@justwise,c'mon,dis lady has never insulted u. so why re u doing dis? we re only here to share our different opinions on a particular topic and i don't think that should result to a situation where u asked flawless to be taken to Mental Home/whatever

you know what,i don't want to sound offensive but d way u re handling dis argument is becoming funny and
I think u need to stop using computer when mum and dad re not at home cos i don't see u as an adult.

Ayodeji you need to ignore justwise (wouldnt call him justfool like most people refer to him), he lack argumentative skills and his only weapon his to bully people by attacking people personally. He is only hiding behind PC you can tell that he is nothing but an attention seeker that pretend as if he has no immigration issue. He is living in illusion! He is nothing but an illusionist!

Justwise you are the one that needs to check into a mental home cos all you do on this site is rant from your deranged mind. You lack argumentative skills and you have resolved into personal attacks. I now understand why you are quick to critisize people without any hard evidence,