₦airaland Forum

But you dint ban day grazing... Lol
When did cow start grazing at night in the first place
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These people just be toiling with people's life and playing dirty politics.
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You ban grazing but u dint ban terrorism and declare war against them, or pronounce state of emergency or take the war to their hideouts in bushes.. Make una dey play
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The day Nigeria go wake up, anybody who associate with APC will be stoned to death for having hand both directly or indirectly in the death of many in this country

Gbengageorge:
She wants to use you to repay the man for treating her bad. It's just vengeance mission.

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Oh. How naive I was. This is the most important comment for me! It really clicked.
I never even saw it this way even until now
And this post just summarized every of her attitude and body language yet I was so naive...
I shouldn't even have allowed her in my space alone.... I actually thought she was the victim, meanwhile, I was the victim.. kai
........

IamtheTruth1:
My
Question is If she was single u go suck the left nipple or not
?

When I was still very promiscuous I will definitely knack the single... And for this married lady, I will probably do it and hope there was no repercussion though I hardly target married women in my immorality. Now that I live by different code and principles from God... I won't do it cos it's a discipline I've been subjecting myself to for over one yr. now

saysoo:
Simple. Why should a man counsel a woman. Are there no women counselor in the church?

I'm not a councillor... Read the whole first page to get the perspective

TheAdvocate:
You said he is a PA to pastor and he is almost a pastor himself so why will he lock her out for going to church? Don't they attend the same church?

That's the contradiction. I questioned her about it... I think it's not a general program according to her. Like a a praise program done once a month

omotola90:
your anger management as a so called man of God Is poor sir.

I'm not a finished product.. And in truth, social media is usually the only place I use vain or poor language... I'm praying God help me in that regard. In real life I'm quite measured, and less open to discussion

Omoawoke:
Part of it

People like Op are hypocrites…

They piss me off… holiest than thou looking feeling like a Demi god

He has no business in the first place counseling another man’s wife….

I blame those men that allow their wives turn their pastors to demigods

@ freespirited , if na me be the man and I catch you in private session with my wife, if I no remove your teeth, call me basteddd

True it was a big risk.
I never knew she was married until that same day she pestered to come around citing depression and cries from home wahala. I could have turned it down but cos we have never met since the first day.. So I believed I can act like a savior for a new friend with marital issue.. Not knowing I was setting myself up... I had to give her direction and signal her in.. I was scared.. It was stvpid . I have never hosted another man's wife. A great risk

ExudeLoveToAll:
The OP is narrating the story as if he were with the woman in her house as a witness; he is strongly testifying without recourse to natural justice. His bias for the woman's side shows how emotionally attached he is to this said woman. N/B: In marital issues, you don't take hook, line, and sinker. When a woman narrates an issue to you, it's always laced with bias and errors. When I read where the OP called the husband a broke church dude, I gave up on the OP. He is already fantasizing about replacing the broke church dude." That's when I knew the OP may also be sugarcoating the side of the lady's story.

She actually spoke a lot about financial issue. And how she's been supportive and a lot.. I may have used a word you think betrays my intention. I honestly had no intent to take advantage of her.
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I only narrated what she told me based on my questioning when she said she wanted to go back to being single...

chiboycue:
If Joseph, the son of Jacob can resist the sexual advances and temptations of Potiphar's wife, then any determined pastor can resist the temptation of any married woman in marriage crisis irrespective of how emotional she is or how pumped up her bust or ass is.

It's not as easy if u are one who was once promiscuous and used to taking advantage of women in the past while in the world. That instinct can kick in when you least expect after giving ur life to Christ.
That's why setting boundaries is a must.

Fiscus105:
With story you narrated, it's obvious the woman fell for you at first sight and you urself playing* into her manipulation, all the story she is narrating after seeing you are just cock & bull story, giving dog bad names in other to hang it.

Just like someone accused you up thr, your story not consistent.
*How can wife of P A. to pastor locked her wife for going to church program?
*If it's happens, why can wife call pastor, his boss, but prefer to tell a total stranger.
*Wife that claims to be born again, but ready to open legs for total stranger without even stress her an inch.

Did wife tell you she's born again...Did you know the circumstances which they met themselves about a year ago before marriage?.. Does going to church imply that one is born again? This issue does question our impression about who is a born in church regardless if she's a worker or not.
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Also know that they only married 7 months ago...courted even in lesser month..So obviously they don't know each other completely.
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And if I tell you the name of the church u will probably not make this rushed conclusion

Mcslize:
The fight to remain sexually pure as a man is not an easy one.

Using myself as an example. I have never had canal knowledge of anything call a woman for the past 1 and a half year now and still counting. I don't engage in sexual activities. But the temptations during this period is quite intense.

However, what has been my backbone is the fact that there are no gains in living a sexual immoral lifestyle. I don't attend any church. But I can tell you that I live a life of sexual holiness.

You know that moment when you decide to stay pure is when the temptation of women usually intensifies.

The race of righteousness and holiness is not an easy one. Only those that have made up their minds can sustain it till the end.

Pastor, I commend your tenacity of being able to resist the temptations of sexual immorality that came knocking on your door.

But please you still need to build a concrete walls and strong spirit against falling for this later in the future. Because you will still encounter more of these now or later in the future.

I'm not even a pastor in the strict sense of the word though I'm trying to live a life of holiness because God's call is imminent.
I'm a normal worldly guy in very recent past until couple of years I changed my course cos of an encounter. And as u put it... The temptation is great but God has helped me conquer other corresponding addictions.

But I keep learning everyday how to avoid pitfalls... And like yesterday I over estimated my self will... I had to stop the nonsense when it was obvious she was oversensitive to every word, look or touch... It's a big lesson i have never learned since I started living purposely against sexual immorality

bamosagie:
The golden rule in counselling, be it spiritual, sociological or medical is that whatever information is entrusted to you is done in confidence, at moment of vulnerability and must not even at the pain of death be shared with anyone else.
And here you are opening a thread on nairaland to narate what was shared with you in confidence....

I know for a fact... And it's not as if I'm stupid enough to discuss it with her neighbors or church members....
And don't we sometimes see pastors use knowledge from counselling to drive points home in some of their sermon without revealing the person?
Nairaland is anonymous..... That's why I left out a lot of details that can link the identity.

seborrhic:
Rubbish.
You must be a lustful human being to even contemplate compromising your pastoral work to want to sleep with not just a lady that comes to you for counselling,but a married one at that.
Be deceiving yourself that you are being tempted when it's the lust in you that's driving you.
Any woman even going to a Nigerian pastor for marriage counsellor is a big f ool and is not going actually for counseling but to see if she will see her fellow sexually starved pervert

We learn everyday
I was naive or think I could handle it
But this issue of temptation during counseling is a human thing, I don't know why u make it a Nigerian pastor thing. So you don't think such scandals are rife in Western world or what do you mean.
Everyone has to give account to God their record of stewardship

Akharmony:
Ego no go just allow some of u this small boys go far in life, someone like you will certainly not b a good husband with this kind of insane mentality. How many of the nigerian ladies have you spoken with or have deep conversations with. I hope you hav sista's also or is you mother also spiritually enlighten because she self nah woman. You are just insane. May God allow you find kind of demon you are. M@d person

Oh.. You think I speak from naivety?
What does divorce stat tell you?
What does social media posts tell you?
What does relationship scene tell you?
Does it paint a tale of spiritually evolved male and female?
This generation is too rotten to see their corruption and spiritual pervasion anyway.
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My mom never belong to this generation. So don't even bring that up, she was prim, proper and thoroughly spiritual and peaceful.
I guess your mother who is the typical Instagram and TikTok crazed generation must have passed its great morals to your twerking and attention seeking sisters on TikTok. Nonsense

baralatie:
And i am not God to judge
What i am saying is the story is not true
It is true that infidelity happens even amongst some ministers I have seen Wella
But to say the wife is a worker in church and the husband is the pastors p.a and the husband is fighting the wife for going to church.tye story get k leg

Oga... The thing is... I even have the full record of our discussion while she's unaware..cos I wanted to use that to focus my thought on the advise I was dishing.. . I don't have to prove anything to u.... Even with the voice record, after I stopped it, I still almost messed up at some point due to her vulnerability

Smartcitizen:
Bad people always looking for good people to marry to have peace of mind.

My friend, you will end up marrying your type, nothing more nothing less.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Don't be wicked Oga
Christ has justified me... I'm a new creature. Pls receive Christ and see your life take a 360 in all ramifications

amnesty7:
You cannot domesticate a zebra, though.

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The word of Christ is powerfully transformational if you embrace its essence or if you truly encounter it by revelation. It's not a joke

LOVEGINO:
na lack of husband cause am.

Don't be deceived... Cuppy is barely 30 or so.. Daughter of Africas top 10 most richest father... Do u think u know what u are saying to think she won't have long list of suitors who want to get close to the name Otedola? ... If at all for nothing?
Don't be naive... That lady is growing spiritually... Her taste of a man is changing

bukatyne:
Can you share the headache you think it will save you?

1. Cuppy is showing sign of spiritual brokenness.... That's a great step.. If she can maintain... Being broken can make a woman less emotional and more reasonable

2. Being not materialistic.... I believe you know the headache of marrying a materialistic woman.. Such can never be content with whatever she has and will always put pressure on you for frivolous reasons.. U can imagine marriage quarrel that will ensue
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3. She's showing sign of focusing on what matters in life that bring true happiness instead of seeking validation, gossip, competition and being insecure
Imagine marrying a woman at this stage.. It will save a lot from drama and unnecessary emotional upheaval

4....The stage she is also brings out trait of good motherhood.. U can be sure she will understand how to groom her daughters to become good children, instead of the spoilt brat we see online that lack virtue cos of lack of good mothering

.. I can continue till .... Intimacy through prayers, is also a way of building faith.. Try marry a faithless godless woman... U go understand what I mean... Some women are religious but godless... Those contradictions are everywhere

sweetrace:
How do you know the stage of spirituality of Nigerian women? Please focus on your spirituality. Know God for yourself You be enlightened spiritually and please stop acting like you know the hearts of others.

If I speak with you within 30 mins... I will know your in and out and level of spirituality no matter how much u want to disguise..
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This retort of yours alone is a big statement of the stage you are.... There are stages in spiritual growth... Not accepting this fact is why a Christian who has been going to church for 20 years may still be a babe spirituality who hasn't grewn beyond the level of asking God for money, job and material accomplishments

eastOFwest:
Don't be surprised. The first 2 years or so in marriage are usually the most difficult.

I even told her first 5 years is usually the most turbulent.... According to marriage and divorce stat

Firebox123:
just stfu brr

You go dey pray word of God on nairaland

While you do bad in real life 😁😂

I know u are pained cos I corrected your terrible attitude of self righteously rejoicing over some who is down
I have no hard feelings against you. Pls change. U might be the one who is down without help. U may be the one who needs a good Samaritan after being attacked in life.

Her spiritual quest and growth seems real. I'm so impressed and pray she will continue to grow in the Lord.
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If I meet a lady at this stage of spiritual awakening and awareness. I will marry her cos it will save me lot of headache.
Unfortunately most Nigerian church girls haven't even gotten to this stage of spiritual enlightenment that Cuppy has reached in less than a year of baptism

Seems to be on right track of spiritual growth... Self denial is not a small thing in spirituality

After my first degree, I had the chance to go back and study my real career choice at 27....i never did cos of fear of unknown and what people will say. I still regret it till now

baralatie:
If the husband locked her out for going to church
Then she did not marry a church man
And you claiming whatever you are reveals you own deficiency when you you wrote a broke church man is an angry man

Are you this stvpid or naive to not know many churchy religious men have bad marriage while maintaining fake love in public?.. I have seen many including pastors... This shows u are a baby...
And I never claimed I don't have deficiency.
The fact that I allow her to come to my place is one deficiency cos I could smell from her chats that she needed more than encouragement... I had to battle with my willpower to control my hormone..... Same lady first asked me about where to get hotel for cooling off..... I had to deflect it cos I know the meaning... telling her to come over was a risk... Instead of sit down and learn u are talking trash

baralatie:
Absolutely a fak storyline that you are saying the husband is the pastors pa

On this Nairaland.. U people can be quite stvpid sometimes or unbelievable. Oga, there are some monikers u don't post this kind of thrash about...

When I was regular on Reddit... I hardly see people discount others story for its oddity... And the most crazy , awkward story or life experience u will ever read is on Reddit... But u guys here with little view about life always down talking people...

baralatie:
The op just concocted a cock and bull story

I've been here for long..... U should know whom u wud splatter with such tag.. Really crazy u are probably above 35 or 40 yet talking like a naive jjc

This question actually sounds like saying: "CAN NIGERIANS STILL WITHDRAW THEIR MONEY FROM MMM"?

Mrkc:
I have to give up,
Please pray for me

My first 1 million also disappeared into MMM in 2016.....it was a harsh reality.
But take heart. Over time, ur worry will die out.. You may suffer it for a while.. U may struggle to start something new or land a job that will blossom into hundreds of thousands or millions, pls start from anywhere..u may have to relocate... No matter how little, you have to start at least to sustain ursef...When u least expect if u hold on, U will make back that cash.. Even more
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. Since 2016...A number of opportunity I never expected has led me to make more than that... Some I don't even deserve or expect it. Yet the money came..
The fact is in life, making money isn't always the issue as we think, But Growing and maintaining it from fizzling out is a bigger issue.
After this huge loss... If u hit millions tomorrow, trust me, u will still be faced with the same dilemma of doing risky business. Most business are risky in Naija. People lose millions even from legit business. In my own case, even after that, I still lost millions through crypto trading...

It takes time to learn financial and investment discipline. It's part of life.. Ready for the ride ahead, learn from it and pick urself up... Naso life be. . Don't kill urself cos u will still lose more in future if u live long enough till u become money wise. Na life
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