₦airaland Forum

With the way the members of this thread went for Gaggi's head on a pike shows that indeed most of us here are proper introverts.

A real introvert is empathetic, sensitive, compassionate and is able to imagine himself in one's shoe - I'm sure y'all already know this. Therefore, with the knowledge that this is obviously an introvert lounge, for introverts, and filled with introverts where words get embedded in our thought and can drastically change our perception of our self and surrounding, such words from him are completely unrefined, crude and lack thorough thoughtfulness...."a bit harsh"? "No. Not really". "I'm actually saying this with an understanding tone", lol.

Not to mince words, whatever Gaggi said, however brutal, is simply the truth. Some of us here have discussed certain features about our self that mirrors an introvert's trait but isn't necessarily an introvert's.

The best thing is to read far and wide about these traits, to know more about them, and learn how to overcome them or to meet with people with similar issues and learn how they managed theirs as we are doing here.

I've said it before. An introvert isn't timid, silent, reticence or laconic by nature. It is more as a result of choice.

megatran:
interesting.. what age bracket are you? if you dont mind

....definitely not 30 - yet

megatran:
thank you for your input. it is nice to know that one is not alone in his boat. You mentioned sharing gifts to friends and relatives. i guess my upbringing must have a crack in it. i mean about loving people and expecting love from people. i was raised to be though and the show of love was rather seen as weakness. so i just bottle up, when i loose i swallow the pain and for gain i take the credit and share if i am in the mood.

Although, far from the topic. For unknown reasons i cant seem to cry even at very trying times. i have always wished to have that experience in its good or bad form. But whenever such happens i get angry. My friends do tease me then that i am canon of emotions and that when i would find the right person that would strike that chord, i would be sobbing like a child lol.

On a more serious note , i am beginning to feel like i am saying too much

I too experience the same thing.... Maybe it's due to the fact that one has faced difficult situations and persevered such that the broken pieces left behind has accumulated and solidified into one impenetrable wall causing any thing that will be able to create an upset to be mighty greater than what you have ever experienced before.

I don't think I can lose anything to cry about. It could my attitude towards the things of life which I see as transient and vanity.

In fact, sometimes I picture someone close dying, even my siblings, and I don't see my self crying, maybe a little troubled, but not devastated. It's crazy but I've come to accept it. Probably, during the course of my life all these will change, but for now.
.......It is how it is....

Happy New Year in advance y'all.

Fairview1:
Alright. Thanks.

Noted @Bolded.

No biggie.
You're alright.

ibkayee:
I think it’s easier to communicate with people when you aren’t face to face to be fair though

....Not really per se, more like when there is a vague chance of an actual meeting sometime.

Fairview1:
Madam, your own personality has nothing to do with introversion. I think its more of a Stage Fright than what you mention.

...lol...you literally just communicated your feelings to a lady just now so why were you saying it's hard.

friction comes about during communication when you are overly concerned with what the person might think rather than listening attentively to the topic of discussion and taking cues from body language.

Wane2:
Thanks for this article, it's very helpful since I fall into this category. In my whole life I've never started a conversation with someone I'm not familiar with, neither have I ever had a long discussion with someone where I'm the one who talks more I prefer to just listen. I might even have it all planned in my head but when it comes to saying it, it just goes down the drain. The crazy thing is that it even happens online.
Like I'm afraid to post sometimes because I'm afraid of how people would see me.
Then I'm like 'sh!t they don't even know me'
Then another voice be like 'yeah but they know your nairaland moniker'
And then I'm like 'so what?'
And then I don't post the sh!t

But I'm going to post this sh!t :-D

...You're welcome.


...Lol...That's the spirit.

Progress

Treasure17:
Thanks

You're welcome brother.

Treasure17:
Everyone's contributions on this thread are so apt. What about someone who is shy and introverted as well. @Ftheofilous

How do I even start the conversion?
What should I say?
How should I react? Do I smile or seem indifferent?
Oh! we are meeting again, what do we talk about now? maybe I should just evade him.
What will he/she think of me?
Do I say something or allow him talk first?
Do I greet or allow him greet first.
Should I follow her to the party? What will I even be doing there, I will just feel lost and out of place.
Do I get in a relationship? What if I get bored halfway.
What if she finds me odd?
Won't I look stupid or seem proud by answering the question?
What if I stutter?
What if I tell him this and he looks at me weirdly?
What if I get laughed at?
........dang it! Let me just dust my shoes and lie on the bed while I type away on my phone.....at least my device can see all my weirdness without being freaked out.


Introversion as well as shyness is a characteristic of a person. While the former results from personal choice and of course one's personality, the latter stems from low self-esteem leading to social anxiety.

You can be a person who simply like his privacy. Enjoys his personal time but likes to mingle once in a while, out of choice not out of need -unlike extroverts- then you are introverted, not shy.

You can be a person that gets uncomfortable and uneasy when in a large gathering, especially when you are the focus of the discussion; you get nervous, sweaty, uneasy, tong-tied, short of breath etc. You are shy and possibly introverted.

In a situation where a person exhibits both features of shyness and introversion, of course not limited to the above listed ones, then that person is both shy and introverted.

Although extroverts too occasionally get overwhelmed by shyness as regarding certain situations. I.e. a love interest, superior persona, new situations or making a faux pas; they oftentimes quickly recover because they are more socially adept than their introverted counterpart.

For an introverted person that is shy. It is hard.
Truth is introverts are more sensitive. They quickly adapt and react to people's expression or opinion of them and this can be attributed to the fact that introverts tend to over think and like to carry out planned actions. Almost like being a perfectionist when it comes to carrying out social actions. Spontaneity is not a forte of introverts in social situations due to their meticulous nature and the desire to carry out planned actions. Introverts that can flow well during social interactions are those that go out of their way in associating and that's the simple truth.

If you are an introvert who is shy, it means you have a low self esteem which may be caused by but not limited to; one's financial disposition, health status, physical appearance, lack of self worth due to hurtful statements that might have been made sometime throughout one's life, feeble-mindedness etc.

The first step in tackling shyness is to identify the source and then you are on.

Sincerely, different causes of shyness have different manner in which they are handled but generally, there is need for preparedness in the mind and this goes a long way in affecting one's mentality because, actually, the source of shyness resides in the brain.

If it's fear of large crowd, start with small groups, preferably friendly ones as they are less prone to insensitive talks.

If it's fear of what to say. Model your persona after someone you admire and imitate the habits that suits your person because, truth is, everyone learns. Life is a lifelong process of learning and since introverts tend to study people very well, it is usually easier to create a self, or lets say a hybrid self, which is a combination of different traits that have been studied overtime. This is similar to the behaviour of a growing child, isn't it. That's the goal - remodelling.

Everybody is unique. You can't be everything the society wants you to be but you can be the most important thing the society needs.

No person is a repository of all the knowledge in the world, even social understanding or skillfulness is learned. We all learn as we live. Some are willing and some are not.