₦airaland Forum

There was a vacancy announcement for a marketer in a book publishing company. They have just printed a new edition of a Book on Food and nutrition which has about 1000 pages. A stammer came along to the publisher and offered himself for the job. After a lenghty discussion on why he cannot do the job and he will not conceed to the fact, the publisher decided to try him with few copies of the book.

He left with the copies of the book and came back few hours later, He has sold all the books. Suprised the man gave him another set of books and the stammer returns back within few hours all books sold. Then the Publisher ask the stammer what was the secret he used in selling the books so fast. The stammer said, once he get to a house and knocks at the door. He would tell whoever comes at the the door

"Doooooooo Yoooouuuuuuu Waaaaaaaaannnnnntt Toooooo Buuuuuuy Thissssssss Booook Orrrrrrrr I Shhhhhooooooulllddd Reeeeeeaad iiiiiit to yyyyyuuuuuuuuu"

belloti:
A couple were watching ''Who Wants To Be a Millionaire.'' The husband winks and says, ''Honey, let's go upstairs, ''

The wife says, “no”. The husband asks again, and again she says no. The husband asks, ''Is that your final answer?''

The wife says yes!

The husband says, ‘‘well, can I phone a friend?''

The husband says, ‘‘well, can I phone a friend?''
The wife says No, you have used that option and so you have 50/50 option left!

diddy4dt:
recycled,

Can you please specify the link where this joke was posted on this forum before?

Awaiting your response.

This 60 year old woman was walking along 5th Avenue when she heard a voice from above

"You will live to be 100."

She looked around and didn't see anyone. Again she heard "You will live to be 100."

Boy, she thought to herself, that was the voice of God. I've got 40 more years to live!

So off she went to the plastic surgeon. She got everything fixed from head to toe.

When she left the plastic surgeon's office, she got hit by a bus,died, and went up to heaven.

She said to God "You told me I would live to be 100. I was supposed to have had 40 more years. So how come you let the bus kill me?".

God said: "I didn't recognize you".

Teeth don break Ooooooooooooooh

Why do you want to know WHY?

Thanks

I think the difference is based on the concept. In Gulder Ultimate Search we have visible umpire/anchor man, the task were daring and losers have no reason to feel cheated. However in Big Brother Nigeria this is not the case. We have an unseen umpire giving rules, moreso the viewers has favourites in the house though he might not be the best of brain or attitude. Housemates in BBN are being evicted based on feelings.

I can say BBN is a house of deceit where you play along with your mate and look for a way to edge him out.

I am awaiting Gulder Ultimate Search 3

Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. "You're running around with other women," she charged.

"You're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the only woman on earth." The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest.

It was Eve. "What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded.

"Counting your ribs," said Eve.

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined."

"It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer.

"Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?"

"Oh no! This judge is a stickler or ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court. In fact, you shouldn't even smile at the judge."

Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant. As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, "Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It worked!"

"I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them."

"But, I did send them."

"What? You did?" said the lawyer, incredulously.

"Yes. That's how we won the case."

"I don't understand," said the lawyer.

"It's easy. I sent the cigars to the judge, but signed the plaintiff's name."

Thanks for the briefs, tox. But can you be more explanative. Some of the terms of the writing are cryptic.

tox:
yesterdayz episode was great,and i love d way deigo spoke but poloma,she get suk suk for head oh !why does she like bring bad memories,i can't imagin we trying to soit times out and u try to start from trouble begining,which is not fuuny at all,but for aurelio i expect him to realse the word onces and for all,i get get married to a man that won't give me that thing oh!can u imaging,will i be house help,i don't plain both,since it was all a contract,and soledad!it really nice to know she is about to speak,but this one deigo and poloma r happy when she said it's not leorenzo but poloma father,i don't expect them to jump to their heeds datz no respect! ,but letz see d worst than that martha is expressing her feelings to sans i hope he responds,

Please for some of us at the mercy of PHCN Nigeria ("Please Hold your Candle NOW" ) can someone give a recap of what happened in yesterday (Thursday) edition of Cuando Seas Mia.

firmly under control

It all depends on the culture of the land. In some remote cultures in India, Nepal and Ghana, a woman marries a man and the woman has to pay bride price. In such case the man has to bear the name of the woman.

In our country nigeria this is not the norm.

However, my candid opinion is that a submissive wife should be able to forgo her maiden name and totally commit herself to her crown (her husband).

On a lighter side, I quote from Psalms 45:10 "Hearken, O daughter, and consider, and incline thine ear; forget also thine own people, and thy father's house;"

A businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped, exhausted. His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word.

"My, you look tired," she said. "You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?"

"It was terrible," her husband said, "The computer broke down and all of us had to do our own thinking."

Hi all,

Please I need information from anyone on the NYSC job interview scheduled for tommorow (Saturday April 29th) in Abuja

1. Is the interview for anyone who wishes to participate or for selected candidates
2. What are they expecting the interviewees to bring along wit them
3. The time of the interview

Thanks

At the end of their first date, a young man takes his favorite girl home. Emboldened by the night, he decides to try for that important first kiss.

With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her, "Darling, how 'bout a goodnight kiss?"

Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"

"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"

"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"

"Oh come on, there's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"

"No way. It's just too risky!"

"Oh please, please, I like you so much!!"

"No, no, and no. I like you too, but I just can't!"

"Oh yes you can. Please?"

"NO, no. I just can't."

"Pleeeeease?, "

Out of the blue, the porch light goes on, and the girl's elder sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled. In a sleepy voice the sister says: "Dad says you should go ahead and give him a kiss, Or I can do it for you Or if need be, he'll come down himself and do it. But for crying out loud tell him to take his hand off the INTERCOM button it is waking up everyone in the house!"

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

I am already into software development using the tools mentioned. I need the software for an organization which I am trying to package a software for. The genuine software will have technical support and that was what I am after. Currently, those tools are the one I can use effectively unless I have to learn other dbs and reporting tools.

Hi all,

I need your help in getting the names, address, phone numbers and website adress of companies that sell genuine copy of any of the following software

1. Microsoft SQL Server 2000
2. Microsoft Visual Developer 2005
3. Crystal Report Version 11 from Business Objects

I have searched through the internet for these companies in Nigeria but only few were seen with scanty information. Thanks