₦airaland Forum

This is really true. How come? THE WISE MAN

Suprising

Or rather say THINGS WOMEN WILL NEVER HEAR FROM THEIR HUSBANDS

Thanks. It really helps.

Hi guys, it's been long I heard of this footballer RIVALDO. A Brazilian player, You remember him? What happened to him please I wish to know if you have any information.

oh oooooh! Wise Dog

kamsy:
ha ha ha!wonders shall never end. check this out

Three men were discussing at a bar about coincidences. The first man said, " my wife was reading a "tale of two cities" and she gave birth to twins" "That s funny", the second man remarked, "my wife was reading 'the three musketeers' and she gave birth to triplets" The third man shouted, "Good God, I have to rush home!" When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, " When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali baba and the forty Thieves"!!!

I admit this is even funnier

Four expectant fathers were in an hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and announced to the first man, "Congratulations sir, You're the father of twins."

"What a coincidence" the man said with some obvious pride. "I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team."

The nurse returned in a little while and turned to the second man, "You sir, are the father of triplets."

"Wow, That's really an incredible coincidence " he answered.

"I work for the 3M Corporation." My buddies at work will never let me live this one down.

An hour later, while the other two men were passing cigars around, the nurse came back, this time she turn to the 3rd man - who had been quiet in the corner. She announced that his wife had just given birth to quadruplets.

Stunned, he barely could reply. "Don't tell me another coincidence?" asked the nurse. After finally regaining his composure, he said "I don't believe it, I work for the Four Seasons Hotel."

After hearing this, everybody's attention turned to the 4th guy, who had just fainted, flat out on the floor. The nurse rushed to his side and after some time, he slowly gained back his consiousness.

When he was finally able to speak, you could hear him whispering repeatedly the same phrase over and over again.

"I should have never taken that job at 7-Up "I should have never taken that job at 7-Up "I should have never taken that job at 7-Up,

veeeeeeeeeeery Funny

10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because He knew men would never ask for directions.

9. God knew that Adam would one day need someone to hand him the TV remote because men don't want to see what is on TV; they want to see WHAT ELSE is on TV.

8. God knew that Adam would never buy a new fig leaf when the seat wore out and therefore would need Eve to get one for him.

7. God knew that Adam would never make a doctor's appt for himself.

6. God knew that Adam would never remember which night was garbage night.

5. God knew that if the world was to be populated there would have to someone to bear children because men would never be able to handle it.

4. As Keeper of the Garden Adam would never remember where he put his tools.

3. The Scripture account of creation indicates that Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be alone", he only ends up getting himself in trouble.

And the NUMBER ONE reason, .

1. When God finished the creation of Adam he stepped back, scratched his head and said, "I can do better than that."

dabby:
you think you hav womeen all figured out don't you?

Just Playing! In the spirit of fair play if you seem offended sooooooooooooory

dabby:
its funny though not always true.

It is always relative When a woman says a word with her mouth she says more with the look on her face

This is serious.

diddy4dt:
and that is when the donkey threw the man out of the cliff. and the man went six feet straight to hell. and the donkey went back to the preacher. mission accomplished.

Story completed

A man bought a donkey from a preacher. The preacher told the man that this donkey had been trained in a very unique way, (being the donkey of a preacher).

The only way to make the donkey go, is to say, "Hallelujah!"

The only way to make the donkey stop, is to say, "Amen!"

The man was pleased with his purchase and immediately got on the animal to try out the preacher's instructions.

"Hallelujah!" shouted the man. The donkey began to trot. "Amen!" shouted the man. The donkey stopped immediately.

"This is great!" said the man. With a "Hallelujah", he rode off very proud of his new purchase.

The man traveled for a long time through some mountains. Soon he was heading towards a cliff. He could not remember the word to make the donkey stop.

"Stop," said the man. "Halt!" he cried. The donkey just kept going.

"Oh, no,

'Bible, Church!, Please Stop!!," shouted the man. The donkey just began to trot faster. He was getting closer and closer to the cliff edge.

Finally, in desperation, the man said a prayer, "Please, dear Lord.

Please make this donkey stop before I go off the end of this mountain, In Jesus name, AMEN."

The donkey came to an abrupt stop just one step from the edge of the cliff.

"HALLELUJAH!", shouted the man.

funny

Correct Criminal

O mase o. Why do the innocent suffer?

A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.

The group surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?" One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."

Of course, the reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I NEVER TOLD A LIE."

There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the dog."

He should be made to return back alone to pick that key while the other two take a nap outside the flat.

This is really funny

I will stop at that spot, signal to the people on the podium to give the award for some minutes, see if I can fix the shoe. If I can not, I'll remove the shoes and walk bare footed to collect the award.

I have won the award, my name has been announced and so the breaking shoe cannot remove the award from me.

Several years ago, a man returned home from a trip late in the night just when a storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As he came into his bedroom about 2 AM, he found his two children (apparently scared by the loud storm) in his bedroom with his wife. He resigned himself to sleeping in the guest bedroom that night.

The next day, he talked to the children, and explained that it was OK to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but when he was expected home, please don't sleep with Mom that night. They said OK.

After his next trip several weeks later, his wife and the children picked him up in the terminal at the appointed time. Since the plane was late, everyone had come into the terminal to wait for his plane's arrival, along with hundreds of other folks waiting for their arriving passengers. As he entered the waiting area, his 4 year old son saw him, and came running shouting

"Hi, Dad! he've got some good news!"

As he waved back, he said loudly, "What is the good news?"

"The good news is that nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!" Alex shouted.

The airport became very quiet, as everyone in the waiting area looked at Alex, then turned to the man, and then searched the rest of the area to see if they could figure out exactly who Alex Mom was.

This is cool. It's a nice one. Thanks

LIBERAL

lol. In fact the whole church will become drunkards.

Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours. -- Deuterononmy (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)

Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock. -- Moses (Exodus 2:16-21)

Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. -- Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)

Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. -- Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)

Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you a rib. -- Adam (Genesis 2:19-24)

Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a woman. -- Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)

Cut off 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife. -- David (1Samuel 18:27)

Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative of course.) -- Cain (Genesis 4:16-17)

Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. -- Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)

When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a , woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me." -- Samson (Judges 14:1-3)

Kill any husband and take HIS wife. (Prepare to lose four sons though). -- David (2 Samuel 11)

Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea, it's the law). -- Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)


A wife?, NOT!!! -- Paul (1Corinthians 7:32-35)

Ooooooooh serious

A man walking along a Lagos beach was deep in prayer. All of the sudden he said out loud, "Lord grant me one wish.Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the, Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish"

The man said, "Build a bridge from here to New York, so I can drive over anytime I want to." The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the, logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me."

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I have been married and divorced four times. All of my wives said that I am uncaring and insensitive. I wish that I could understand women, I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say "nothing" and how I can make a woman truly happy."

After a few minutes God said, "Do you want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

parralell lines