YungTemy, jnichole, creeza, Leigh, xaviercasmir, larabae13

After the first day, i was became used to the job. On the second day, the bus came to meet us at unizik junction, from there we proceeded to oko poly, in oko, a town in anambra state. That was the first time i went to that part of the state. We got to the school by 11am, dropped by the roadside and started our job, after talking to people around, we proceeded to enter to school and we found out they have a strong security presence, so we had to seek their approval before doing anything so as to avoid stories that touch. I met alot of people, guys and girls alike, most were receptive and warm, others were frustrating, some actually told me we were fake and wanted to collect their money....like wtf??

I met a girl who really impressed me, from her spoken English to her attitude, we had a long and good chat, she told me about the school, herself, her family and i thoroughly enjoyed myself, at the long run, my day at okopoly was a tiring yet fulfilling one. We left the school by 5pm, got to awka around 6 or so, i tiredly trekked home to take my bathe and relax, na the 30k just dey resonate for my mind as i dey waka.

Got home, as i was about to shower, i got a call from a past client ( exam things), a mat course he paid 5k sorting fee for, the result came out and he got an F, so the guy called me to rant and Para, like he needs a refund, blah blah, that he has security connects so if me and chizzy wan chop him money, we no go succeed, i just sighed and calmly told him like, "guy runs no get refund, u sef know say na 50 50 level", he vehemently rebuked me and said that if not for the respect he has for me, i would have been in police cell...bros with the headache, cracked voice (from talking all day) and tiredness, i just told him to give me a few days to speak with chizzy, he agreed and said we better find his money for him. I went to shower, made eba to eat and drafted a long SMS to chizzy, explaining the current situation to him and telling him that, lets refund the guys money, not because we ain't legit or we are scared but because 'he who leaves a fight, lives to fight at a later date',.......

For most part of the week, we were going to different parts of anambra state, trekking in the hot sun, using our mouths,cracking our brain to answer some intelligent questions people threw at us, and ofcourse, our return trip was always wild with my crazy friends yabbing and teasing each other vulgarly, most times, i just chill with my earpiece, and reminisce about the days stress, plus ofcourse the money.

We went to anambra state university igbariam, it was the first time i was visiting the school, i had heard alot about the school and i was excited to finally visit, even if na work visit. We got there by 3pm, the security refused to let us drive in, so we had to park outside the gate and meet the students in the open space where they pass to their bus park. Mehn, most of the students i met were nothing to write home about, bland dress sense, horrible English, ugly assed babes and low level of understanding. I have never been soooo frustrated in my life, just imagine, you meet a girl and have the following conversation

Me: Hello

Girl: Hi

Me: My name is Ken, I work with E tranzact and would like to tell you about our service

Girl: Ok, *she stands and pays attention*

Me: Ok, pocketmoni is the kind of service that will help you make transactions easy, once u credit it, you can transfer money to any bank in any part of Nigeria, you can buy and send airtime, you can pay any bill online....all this from the comfort of your home, whether you use big phone or Nokia torchlite, its easy to use and understand, all you need to do is register for free, which I will do for you now and credit it at your own convenience and viola, you are good to go

Girl: *smiles like a mumu*,so with this my kpalasa techno, I can do it

Me: Yes na,*gives her the flier* and *engage in another long epistle of the different codes for the different transactions*

Girl: Wow, its good o, hope they will not remove my credit sha

Me: Nooo, its just N10, small money, for registration and after that, its free

Girl: Ahhhh, I thought everything is free

Me: Yea,you wont pay me a dime

Girl: Ok, please o, I don't understand something

Me: What's that

Girl: How can i use my kpalasa techno to send money to bank, its not possible

Me: I told you, you fund your pocketmoni account and use your phone to control it

Girl: Account kwa, I have bank account o, I don't have money to open another one biko

Me: *sighs* *patiently launches another long epistle like I earlier did*

Girl: Nna this process is long o, phone to control account in Nigeria, *laughs like a dunce *

Me: It's not as difficult as you see it o

Girl: Biko am hungry, lemme go home, I will think about it, shebi you people will come back

Me: *chai thunder go fire this girl o", smiles....no wahala

Imagine having same conversation with over 10 different people, plus the ones that don't even grasp the use of simple English, mehn i almost had an aneurysm, it was the most frustrating day coupled with the fact that the sun that day was out with a vengeance.....

Next episode: My supervisor and his suspicious movement

YungTemy:
NEXT UPDATE

Hahaha,na evening things bros

I can relate, for me though,if am broke and d girl is digging in for a fast food,I just tell her "I no too get money o"...good work

Ashbee, yungtemy, creeza, Leigh, xaviercasmir, jnichole

Sorry its short, my head dey bang so, na sleep sure pass

We got to the hotel, Monday morning, feeling fly and happy. Met the other group of people who were going to partake in the awareness program and we were given two buses, customized with the service we were promoting.

The service called POCKETMONI is an innovation of E tranzact, which is a mobile wallet, a wallet that can be operated by a cell phone, through which you can pay bills, buy airtime, send money to other bank accounts amongst other services as well. It was designed in such a way that even without an internet enabled phone, you can open, maintain and use the service. With an internet enabled phone, the app is either sent to you through a Symbian phone, or u download it online. Most of the people we met wanted the first choice, so they will see what it looks like and how to operate it, we the agents also accepted that choice because it saved us time. For phones without internet, you just dial a certain code and after series of messages, u are registered and can use the service.

The SIM given to us contained N5,000 in the E-wallet, which we are supposed to use to show registered and interested clients how the service actually work and they have to pay for the amount they want us to send from our POCKETMONI account to theirs in cash.

Our actual job was to meet people from different works of life, traders, hoteliers, students, etc and tell them about the service, sell the idea of the ease and fast mode of operation and close the deal by registering them. The clincher is when you can get them to request for transfer of funds from you, but it was not compulsory.

After the necessary introduction and appointment of team leaders, we had two teams of 12 people each, and a team leader, coincidentally my team leader was Bond and my team comprised of my friends, and some other people who later became friends as well. That first day, we proceeded to the popular eke awka market, and suffice to say, it was fun and interesting. I learnt how to talk to people, approach method, got funny responses from different people and genuine interest as well, all in all, it was an above average first day performance and i was looking forward to subsequent days and ofcourse the 30k, without minding the sun and the fact that i was gonna miss 2 whole weeks of lecture

Did my second day and subsequent days go as planned?

Temy don find babe go church....its good that you mentioned school wasn't about reading only sha...twale

Thanks to yungtemy for making me do this and to all those who cared even when I almost lost interest, special shoutout to you


So he called me and said the result was out, but he didn't see his own, i was like " guy na missing script na, go the lecturer office go sort am out since you were there when i submitted", he just grumbled and dropped the call, i just laughed like, see wetin mumu sense dey cause, next year make he go write am by himself.

We finished exams and resumed a new semester, since i could only do exam related hustle, it meant that during lecture period, brokeness na my middle name since i didn't have any other option because of my lack of skill set (blah blah), anyways, i was just chilling at home on a boring Saturday with basically nothing on my mind when Emma called me and asked if i knew about a certain awareness program they wanted to embark on for E- tranzact, which was made known to him by Bond (a classmate of ours who also lived in my street), that him and some other classmates of mine had done their registration for the job, collected the sim cards they will use and d job kick starts on Monday. The pay was 30k for 2 weeks.

My head just spark, like, see beta opportunity wey pass me by, i begin Para for Emma like, "guy why you no give me dis info on time, even ik wey b bond roommate sef just dull me", Emma then said i should go see bond to find out if he can include my name or if it was too late. I sharply wore shorts and shirt, went to his hostel with red eye, and when he opened his door, i went on the offensive immediately,

Me: Bond u Bleep up o

Bond: Guy wetin I do na

Me: So job come out, u just dull me, later now, na u go dey ask me for handout and make i assist you for exam

Bond: Guy no be so, i bin think say you no go dey interested for that kin level

Me: Mtcheeewwww you call me say this kin level dey and i tell you no? Shebi you call kizo, Emma, ik, okoye, even Becky (my bestie), you call all of them but sideline me, god dey oooo

Bond: Ken abeg no vex, i know say i Bleep up, but i wan go see the supervisor tomorrow afternoon, your mind dey d level?

Me: Guy ofcourse na, anywhere money dey, count me in, legal o, illegal o, any which way na way

Bond: Hahahahahaha, Ken Ken, you too like money, no wahala, you go follow me go tomorrow, he dey one hotel for town, i go reason with am and i believe say e go gree

Me: No wahala, if e no gree, i go chop from your 30k sha o...

Bond: Guy no reason that one o, i don plan that money down

Me: Better begin fast and pray now o, cos I mean am

**************

Sunday came, by 3pm, we took bike to an hotel in eke awka area in awka town, met the man, and after some nervous moments, he asked if i was ready for the job because he wants serious minded people who are hardworking and i replied in affirmative. He brought out a new sim, which was already registered and told me i will be using the sim for the job and asked bond to explain what the job entails.

I was ecstatic because in my mind, 12 working days equals to 30k, chai see confirm dough, i was half listening as bond explained what we are supposed to do and how we will do it.

Got home, called Emma and thanked him for looking out for me, he was happy that I was joining the train and we will all run the job together. Monday morning bright and early, we were to converge in the hotel which was the take off point, meet with the other people who are part of the team, get our customized t shirts and start fully, me and my guys were all smiles and back slapping because of the 30k we were gonna be paid but alas, nothing ever works out the way we envision and that particular hustle turned out to be the WORST ( OR 2ND WORSE) i ever indulged in.....

Next episode would detail the job description and my first one week doing it.

YungTemy:
We Still dey waiting patiently o

Bros e go be evening o,e get training wey I dey do presently plus small side hustle,na night I go dey free.....thanks for stopping by

jnichole:
i just they look you

C ur eye...lol,u too try

xaviercasmir:
Ride on bro.

My guy,thanks for been here

YungTemy:
Boss, nice one

waiting patiently for your next update.

And boss, just a suggestion, your story is about ''Campus life.. Hustler tale'',.. Ryt? apart from writing exams for others, you must have several other ways you use in hustling. Why not write about it.

Keep it up.

Thanks,I guess I will do that too

larabae13:
You're welcome gabbyraze


But come why u con give us suspense na?

Hehehehehe,I go complete am later,no vex my madam at the top

I lost my vibe for a minute,shout out to larabae13 for yanking me out,u are wonderful...

Dedicated to Larabae13, yungTemy, jnichole, adesina12

As time went on, i mastered the art of impersonation and with luck on my side, it was going smoothly. Once it's exam period, chizzy goes through our result sheet, finds the people (guys and girls), who have numerous carry overs, calls them up and provide a shortcut solution to their problems.

We knew the lecturers who collect sorting (bribe), for those type,no need to find a 'machine', we just collect 6k,pay the lecturer 4k and pocket the remaining. Good business with its own kind of challenge and wahala.

I had a friend in my department but she was in a lower level, they were preparing for mat201 and one of her lazy classmate contracted me to help him write it, i was comfortable with that, it was my forte: a course i have done, my own department, crowded hall, a less popular client....easy right? Didn't work out that way tho.

I prepared adequately, even tutored my friend who was writing the course,(her friends also), i was raring to go, the exam was set for Friday,3pm.... On the said day, my brain was full, i was all smiles, and confidence with great belief in my abilities, experience and ofcourse, my best friend,LUCK.

Since it was a general course with loads of carry over students, the venue was school auditorium, permsite, i got to the venue early, my 'client' was already waiting, i reached out to give him assurance only for him to tell me, he is going inside the hall as well, i was perplexed and surprised because none of my clients has ever displayed any form of doubt towards the service i provide. I tried to persuade him, to make him see reasons why that move would be disastrous but he wanted to form 'ibo man', based on,he can't pay 5k for something and not have hands on supervision, i just tire and shrugged like,'its your money,whatever you wanna do,your choice'

The auditorium was filled to the brim, with machineries, carry over students, over stay students and students who were taking the course for the first time. My client's plan was that,we will sit together, i will solve the questions on my paper while he does gibberish on his,then when am done,we will swap answer sheets (since its fill in the gap kinda exam), and he will fill his details on the correctly solved paper, i just shrugged at his naivety and agreed, since he's the one paying but i knew in such situations, levels dey always change, nothing ever goes according to plan.

Exam started, God first catch am, dem stone am go 3 seats adjacent to mine, i just smiled sadistically, like " see this obolo, na my body he wan put pressure abi". He was using his eyes to communicate to me, as i solved the questions, his earlier plan has been thwarted because there is no way i would exchange the paper without been caught (too risky), the number of invigilators and security in the hall sef, na to just face your work jejely, after a while, those security guys started going seat to seat checking everybody's details in correlation with their credentials, chai c Bleep up, i swore inwardly, recipe for trouble.

I just begin vex because it means i will have to fill my own details on the question paper which is just one paper (front and back) containing 25 questions. I had no choice but i figured once they have checked, i can risk it and swap his paper with mine, i quickly sent him an sms about my plan and he should be ready cos its a one time, sharp and crisp kinda movement. On my own i had a plan B, just incase it dosent work out that way, i wrote my name in faint letters and the reg number too. Omo i miscalculated in my plan A o, the hall was tighter than a virgins pvvsy, i had to signal him to chill, while i put plan B into motion. At the end of the exam, the hall became rowdy and rough (perfect time to put plan A into motion but alas), we had to queue before we could submit our papers.
The guy just kill my motivation and deep down, i knew he wont pass the exam and his result will be withheld but who gives a Bleep? I just collect my money, waka comot.....got a calm from him when the result came out and guess what

YungTemy:
Following

My boss,I see you,your story dey bust my brain. Thanks for been here

larabae13:
yea I almost did dat too, just update

I will,most definitely tomorrow....thanks alot

jnichole:
where did the motivation fall let me help in finding it Abeg o come update

Tomorrow evening,I promise...

larabae13:
come gabby no new update?

Hi Lara,I lost motivation cos nobody was commenting...would probably update Ds week,hopefully

Your John Thomas go hear am for angel hand,good job bros

Adesina12:
The security in your school is a loose one

I was into impersonation too from 200L up to 400L but I didn't get the liver to do it in OAU but other schools

impersonation was rare in OAU because of the security check in place

May be I will write my own biography soon

OP I get plenty popcorn to energise you and help your writing skills

Yea it was pretty loose because they used/use manual system. Abeg help me o,thanks

Cc creeza, Leigh, bibijay123, xaviercasmir, pureheart91, larabae13, jnichole, adesina12, nastynic, tuhndhay

Continued

Turns out I would spend my whole day from one exam hall to another, one course to another without even reading or psychologically preparing myself. Nawa o, i wondered if i would survive this day since that sinking feeling still persisted.

Praize came around 10.30 for the csc (simple course o but as per na girl, freaking lazy), the exam was for 11am and the plan was,I would enter and front as a comp.science student while filling her details (normal way), i had to memorise her details because their departmental code is different from ours and no room for mistakes. The time came for the exam, i took my time to study the lecturer and invigilators, i just felt cool because the lecturer (Mr majesty) was my favourite (i dey always smash him course and he has a good heart) so i just smile enter d hall with strong mind, not knowing wat awaited.....

*brief description of Mr Majesty*

I first encountered the man in 200 level, he taught us one course and i noticed he was very punctual to class (unlike other lecturers), he was soft spoken, easy going, hardly raises his voice, takes time to explain and expatiate on the topic, dosent mock or insult students,forgives easily (even if your phone ring for class or you come late or u no submit assignment). Infact everybody liked him and the feeling was mutual, to top it off, his exam questions are straight forward and he marks with good mind, mehn who wouldn't love him....freaking intelligent yet humble, perfect combination. All the courses he had taken us (about 3 in total) na A i get dem.....

*back to the present*

Exam start, i was sitted close to the lecturer, since we were just five from comp.sc dept who were writing it (even tho praize is in geology), the others were from other departments totalling about 120 students and he arranged us according to departments to ease attendance and also submission. That rang a warning bell but i sha bone, no be today yansh don dey back.

Halfway through the exam, a very tall, muscular and frightening security guy came into the hall, walked round and somehow somehow, while examining some peoples answer sheets he found a guy who's details looked fishy, i didn't really pay close attention at first because some students can be kinda daft and unserious while filling their answer sheet, i heard GBOSA and a loud cry, oboi naso i raise head up, omo the security guy just landed a factory reset slap on a guy and jacked him up from his seat, for my mind i was like " e don b for this guy today", as we looked on, he dragged the guy forward towards the lecturer and instructed another security colleague of his to bring the guys answer sheet, oboi naso i leave my paper, open ear to hear tori. When he got to the lecturers seat, he gave the man the guys answer sheet and we heard another commotion in the adjoining hall, another gobe, the security guy left the boy who was kneeling close to the lecturer to check the other hall. Mr Majesty just smiled, checked the details and compared with what was filled in the attendance list, he just shook his head, picked his phone, dialed a number and called the office of ANTICULT/SECURITY for a bus because there is a criminal that he wants them to come and pick up. The guy started begging and crying, Mr Majesty with his soft voice asked the guy who he was and the guy called his name, and it so happens that the guy isn't a student of unizik, he came to write the exam for a girl (maybe his babe or wannabe babe), the guy continued begging, blaming the devil and all what not, Mr Majesty just smiled and told the guy that he shouldn't waste his breath, since the relevant authorities are coming, he can explain himself and hope he doesn't bag 21 years (na wash sha) in jail.


I really pitied the guy who seem innocent enough but unfortunate, after like 10 mins, Mr Majesty called them again to enquire about the location and from his conversation, it seem they were close by. They later came and picked the guy,also picked two other guys from another hall and this action seemed to galvanise the other invigilators who got some funny heavenly 'vision' that more machineries were in the hall and in a bid to leave no stone unturned, they proceeded to check everybody's answer sheet with their names on the attendance by calling the names on the attendance and you signify by raising your hand once you hear your name.


That feeling i had earlier on came back and my heartbeat increased, i quickly told Mr Majesty that we hadn't seen the attendance for comp.sc since we were few, he then looked for it and passed it to us (seem 3 outta 5 of us were machines), naso i crest my name in full and reg no to avoid story that touch, inputted same details on my answer sheet and smiled, guess what, praize don get missing script be that. Their Fada, na me dem wan put for wahala abi....

Nawa o,Una no dey ask of person sef....

Creeza:
Gabby no vex abeg.. U know my schedule...

but guy, this your job so... If dem nack ur head for jail nko?

becareful o!

Jail Na just threat jare, who no go no know but seriously na two years suspension for my school and plenty wahala with security people.
Thanks boss

YungTemy:

Gabbyraze have you been in this situation b4?

Yep, my uni friends were crazy lot

Dedicated to tuhndhay, nastynic, jagugu88li and Leigh

**************

As a machinery who wants to protect his integrity and also his head, you have to always listen to your guts and follow your instincts always, no matter what. Even though the service you are offering should be done satisfactorily, you have to know some days ain't just your day and not let sentiments, emotions or stubbornness put you in a deep hole. That's why i never wrote any exam for my close friends, girlfriend or those i was toasting, cant coman kill myself for another person o.

*Back to the present*

Finished in the bathroom, dressed and hurried to bus stand to catch a bus to school, it was past 8 and my heart was beating fast, didn't know what awaits and i know chizzy will be waiting for me before entering the hall. I got to the hall by 9am and chizzy immediately came to me and we proceeded to the entrance, the invigilator didn't complain (thankfully) and chizzy sat in front of me, naso them share question paper and answer sheet, i first chill and observe, was trying to catch my breath and calm my nerves.

Chizzy started pretending to solve (he suck at mathematics), while looking left and right to know if he could get the answers from any other source aside me, i began to crack my brain for some formulars (compound interest, annuity, simple interest, amortization et al), could remember just one or two and that course is fvcking bloody because the questions are different (about 5 different types in the hall), German obj (you have to solve and fill in the answer), the whole scenery was just a crazy and tension filled one for me.

Just as i was solving some questions, some security guys were at the window observing us and they saw chizzy trying to be a smart ass, naso them call am outside o, asked for his credentials but he didn't show them because that will spell trouble, at first i was really scared because they might link us together but i just use one mind jare, me na nondescript kinda person, don't do or have anything that attracts attention to myself. He found a way to settle with them (he knew some security guys and has probably made some calls) but he wasn't allowed back into the hall, kept up with my struggle and still found a way to solve more than half of the questions (as per bad guy wey I be), rolled outta the hall and chizzy was nowhere to be found. Dialled his number and he told me to come to science village, got a shuttle went down there and met him at a joint, we got a few drinks and started talking

Me: Bros na high risk we take today o

Chizzy: I tell you, those AC guys be wan obtain me o

Me: Wetin make you enter the hall sef

Chizzy: Na two people i wan run am for

Me: Guy ehn you gats dey plan am well o, because if say e cast ehn, e for bloody

Chizzy: I tell you, you just bone for hall like say you no know me

Me: Guy nawa for you o, at least we run am for one person and i no wan implicate myself

Chizzy: That's y i dey like dey with you, you sabi arrange yourself

Me: Naso, no be today na...*laughs*, why you no call Emma na

Chizzy: Emma dey do ich111, that's why i dey here,make we wait for am

Me: Ehen, chai I hate that course o, e no make sense

Chizzy: You na anything calculation, I dey always believe you

Me: Which time be the ich

Chizzy: Na 9 dem suppose start, so dem go don dey round up now *checks time*

*phone rings*, it was Emma, calling chizzy to know his location, chizzy told him and he replied he was coming

Me: Oboi Emma fast o, e never write reach 1 hour sef

Chizzy: Guy bone o, d tin fit pass Emma power o, see the pa man sef dey come

*Emma approaches,walking dejectedly*

Me: Bros how far na

Emma: *slow hiss* guy i dey, chizzy how far na

Chizzy: Bros i dey, this one wey your face be like this, wetin happen

Emma: Guy na luck i get today o, i for don fill malpractice form

Me & chizzy: Ehn!!!!!

Emma: I tell you, i just tire as i dey here so

Chizzy: How e take happen

Emma: Guy as we dey write, dem don catch two people, give them malpractice form, and them begin check each person answer sheet with attendance seat by seat, naso i say make i go submit shaperly, as i reach front,make i submit,naso the mumu man say make dem bring the attendance sheet make he confirm my names b4 he go collect the answer sheet from me, naso i change the reg number for the answer sheet to my own o

Chizzy: *laughs out loud*, so wetin come happen

Emma: As the man bring the attendance, na ICH dept own,i tell am say na csc i dey, he come bring am,e no see my name, i come tell am say i no know wen d tin pass my seat, as dem check my credentials and id card,naso dem check d answer sheet,come c as i paint the space for reg number,i come lie say my biro been dey Bleep up,naso dem make sure say i write my names for the attendance....

Chizzy: Guy you get luck o, i know say you go don dey fear

Emma: Guy I no fit use my admission play o,my papa go just disown me sharperly

Me: Hahahahaha, Emma calm down, na d same thing do chizzy na, naso e dey b sometimes

Emma: Guy bone, my mind no carry am,infact i no do again abeg

Chizzy: Ahan bros, we still get arrangement today o,remember say u wan help me run csc for praize (his babe) and ken get 3.00 paper

Emma: Guy my mind don spoil, once i comot here, na house straight, i no do again abeg

We both begged and tried to convince Emma to change his mind but his decision was firm and mind made up. Emma left after awhile, and chizzy turned to me and said "ken abeg i no say i don Bleep up and you no like rush tins but as Emma don comot now, na u be my last hope abeg", i just sighed and wished i hadn't picked his call that morning, the day was turning out to be a bad bad day, i still had the that feeling at the pit of my stomach....

Reunion...lovely lovely

That feeling when you have been conned by your friends, I relate....sorry Temy

Abeg make Una forgive Leigh and creeza o, I go dedicate the next update to all the aforementioned names biko....

Wait Leigh, u must tell me what inspired this story oooo....ahan,I just confuse