₦airaland Forum

Dcass:
Honestly I feel like nothing will change anymore.

Will anyone marry me again

I lost my husband 2019 I on have 1 kid but still I managed to aquirre a skill thinking that I would be able to use tailoring to survive till God change my life but I couldn't afford a seeing machine and a shop, am not a kind of lady that depend on men too much but this time is tóo difficult for me and my kid.


Some men come saying that they want to marry me but after discovering that I have a kid they will become unserious, all they want is sex sex sex.

In search of hope I was advised to go into prostitution but I have fear of God I cannot stand the immorality.

All I need is a sewing machine and a shop from there I can work and take care of myself.

I want to work I want to use my skill to earn a honestly living.

What can I do please?

Focus on your child and providing for him/her.

Only start engaging with men when you are able to fully take care of your child and the child is doing well.

Then look for the religious or gentle men in society. They are the ones most likely you would have found boring and refused to date when you were younger. You can also choose to find single fathers.

Find them and date them.

Being a single mother is a huge K-Leg in dating. But you can reduce the K-Leg by:

1. Staying good looking (the hotter you are, the easier it will be).
2. Show you are well brought-up and not loose.
3. Show you are calm and peaceful most times.
4. Show you can take care of the home and willing to be led.
5. Hope you can assert that you can still produce kids.
6. Show you don't necessarily need a man to come and fund your own child as you can fully take care of the child's needs yourself (a man willing to do it should be a bonus)

If you do all these 6 things, your chances will significantly improve.

Don't waste time as, as you grow older, (1) will become a struggle and gradually get worse to achieve.

Alternative, is to just abandon dating men for now until your child is old and out of the house, then you find some 55+ year old man to marry and retire with. No need to give him any child; na co-habiting and a set-up of "scratch my back, I scratch your back".

laitsy:
What can you bring to the table doesn't mean a man want to cheat. A relationship should not be one sided. A man can render benefits to a lady in terms of money and help but the moment the man is having a little problem the lady can run away. It simply means can that lady stand with him when things go wrong to solve problem together.

Oga Sagamite said it all here:

https://www.nairaland.com/1433735/ladies-attitude-when-breaking-up/1#18072016

6ixVille:
Loling at number 3. I always want to have sex with my babe anytime she visits and i love her. Just can't resist her beautiful face, fire boobs and heavenly structure.

Don't mind her with her dogshit advice.

If they were friends, she would advice your babe to abandon you, dump you and run. That one too, most likely like mumu, would start telling you "Why do you always want sex?" and tell you that you should leave her alone. She would start suspecting, creating arguments and doubting you until you break up.

Women are the ones that make women useless, women single and women miserable.

https://www.nairaland.com/7790538/man-asks-what-bring-table/3#124872565

Advice not rooted in empirical evidence, analysis and reasoning. It is just "I feel .......".

folake4u:
Yen yen yen.

Your mother was a grand patron of the oloshos, that's her highest achievement in life. Don't project it on me.


Have a nice life!

You think we have the same mother ni?

Mrs My Kpekus means a lot and is the most valuable thing I have to offer. True daughter of her mother.

Poske95:
What does schu have to do with self expression.
You may need a mind refurbishment....and that's one course you can't find ........

If you can not express yourself in English, then use your local language.

Nothing wrong with that apart from the fact that your audience will be smaller.

But if you try to express yourself in English and it comes across as nothing is coming across because your grammar is horrible, then you have not expressed anything.

I could not grasp anything you said with your poor grammar. And I am sure you will beat your chest that you have certificate for passing in schools.

Poske95:
Simply put...m
Even is the dough is yours, do women not marry men.....?!
Maybe it's the placement : men marry women that is confusing the fish brains or the women marry women thing....?

As long as you got a man, he's gotta work you...except hest either a Simp..son or just playing you.

You need to go back to school to learn English.

folake4u:
You're extremely daft and that's not even an insult.

Another daft nonsense you vomit.

It is important for a man to evaluate women and what they bring to the table, so they don't have women like your mother raising daft kids.

Enice:
Every Mallam to him kettle. You no go live my life for me, and me no go live yours either. There's a reason why an apple is different from an orange. We all can't have you myopic character that reduces a woman to what has passed through her privates. A woman should be qualified with her character not her sexual activity.

I will say:

God bless you on behalf of the Oloshos. There is hope and light at the end of the tunnel for girls like them after they don whorework around finish.

"Real men" like you can have them and be grateful!

Everyone will have someone for them. You get the runts and thrash.

Bridget95:
why vex dey catch you like dis on to kpekus

Vex no dey catch me on kpekus o.

I like kpekus and love to scatter it.

I vex when people ask me to give everything because of kpekus or to be able to get kpekus.

I also vex when people ask me to worship them because they have kpekus and think they are invincible because they have kpekus.

folake4u:
If e easy to get kpekus, do am if e easy.
Your gender these days are transitioning badly to enjoy female privileges.

Hahaha. Na your mama be grand patron of oloshos.

See the more total nonsense you just said.

Can you see that your mother failed in child rearing as she had nothing more to bring to the table than her olosho's kpekus?

This is why men need to ask "what do you have to offer/what do you bring to the table" than kpekus, so they don't end up with some useless olosho destroying their future child, where the girls would think their kpekus is gold and "a lot".

folake4u:
Including your mother, sisters and females in your lineage.

No o!

You see the way I speak sense? It came from good child rearing.

But when you see someone like you who thinks having kpekus, being able to bear children and take care of them means she is bringing a lot to the table, then you know her mother failed in raising her well and was just an olosho made a housewife.

So, darling, your lineage are the example of useless women o.

shortgun:
She looked better before; a full packaged African woman with enough meat everywhere.
I don't know who told people that someone must become lean and malnourished to look beautiful

People must talk whether you are slim, lean, fat or plus size.

You don marry women that look like her before picture?

Blue86:
If a man you are going out with asks you what do you have offer.
It means that through thorough observance, and patience, he's come to realize he can point one or two values you have that will be a plus to him.
So he is asking if there anything valuable you are hiding that he doesn't know about.

Honestly, this is nonsense!

If a man is asking you "what do you have offer", it is most likely because you have only shown so far that all you think you need to bring is your kpekus and he has not seen much of value to his life by adding you to it.

A guy seeing, for a while, a good-looking girl, that speaks intelligently, has her own finances, is not entitled and high maintenance, has a feminine and nice personality, is not loose and all the guys know her, shows she is from a good home and has no tattoes all over her body, loves kids and is gentle with them etc. would not be asking "what do you have offer". He can bloody see it!

At worst, he would just stylishly ask her a few more questions to fill in the few gaps in his mind. Or just even observe while they date, instead of ask.

tivhador:
When you get married to your own hearthrob EVENTUALLY, maybe one day in the distant future, Let us know..........LMAO

Hearthrob ko, Yanshrub ni!

Fisher400:
in as much as I am not going to ask you what you are bringing to the table, you should not ask me also.
But I have just one message for the author of this rùbbish wait till you have a grown son and tell him he should just marry any lady he sees on the road without asking her the question of what she would bring to the table

Dreams!

From the moment any girl meets you, all her interest is focused on "what you have to offer her".

The level of your offer will determine how things progress.

There are man 6ft, dark and handsome guys with 6 packs in Ajegunle; I don't see Nigerian women rushing to date them.

But when they become Odion Ighalo, then they would rush him.

folake4u:
Don't worry, let them keep asking the question. The wise men are getting married every Saturday to their heartrob.

They will keep asking the question till they end up old, fragile and lonely.

Wise men?



The ones soon miserable and divorced?

Karlifate:
It's because they're not ready for anything serious.

They want to play games till 40 years, then retire to a tall, dark, rich & handsome man 🤣🤣

People that are ready for something serious, are open to honest conversations

Very well said!

Especially those, who despite what much they might bring to the table, they will still be bringing less than the other party.

But many women want to only bring selfishness, entitlement and demands to the table. They think their kpekus makes them that valuable and that powerful.

blackgold2018:
you are very funny and delusional.

So a man that loves you and what to spend the rest of his life with you is not obliged to know your past??

Yes!

So that people like Enice can make olosho a housewife.

Enice na real man and nice guy na. Na White Knight to save those who don do community whoring.

WayoProphet:
Accountability is most ladies worst enemy and nightmare. Spits

GBAM!!!

Proserpina:
Likeeeee! I've been trying to fit in the "what do you bring to the table question" in possible conversations between sensible couples it just didn't suffice. It sounds weird and inappropriate. Will the question pop up on date, or after a lovely moment or at the altar?

Lol these guys will justify even the unreasonable.

But I bet you have no reservation and it is not "weird and inappropriate" if you ask a guy:

You are a player, are you not?

I am sure you have many girls you are seeing.

Have you ever cheated before?

What favours you is fine, what does not is "weird and inappropriate".

Enice:
You are very right in your summation but number 3 is out of order. If you cannot judge a woman with sex, so also you cannot judge a man with sex. Opening of your legs does not mean anything. It's just a pleasurable exercise designed by God for a male and a female who genuinely have interest in each other.

See this Simp.

Let me just take one case:

No 2 made sense to you? No worry! Your future is to take a woman many of us have used as olosho turn-by-turn as your wife and mother of your kids. Only her future matters.

That is your portion in life, "real man"!

CodeTemplar:
Useless relationship advises everywhere. They only prey on the emotional weaknesses of the female gender to sell hateful and cheap ideas of selfishness.

Any person, man or woman, who doesn't know what he or she brings to the table is an accident waiting to happen.

Very well said!

Bridget95:
Kpekus alone is enough to bring to the table

xynerise:
The question is irrelevant. You already know the kind of lady you want to marry if all she brings is pussy or not.

Rayban25:
i hope you will not vex when men objectify you and say its only sex you have to offer.

The reality is that many know that is all, or the most significant thing, they can offer.

They have no self and brain development, and think their kpekus is all that, just because they experienced a lot of men chasing them, spending on them and flattering them to get it when they are young and at their peak.

Offering just your kpekus is not worth much considering:

1. It has been offered to many before the man.

2. It does not build anything.

3. It does not make a man's life and challenges in life easier.

4. It can become stale in a short period of time especially if you are not good in bed (which 98% of Nigerian women are not).

5. As you age, the value declines and it is not really wanted from you anymore.

Bringing only your kpekus to the table makes you virtually valueless beyond fuckandgo!

HajiaNotu:
No responsible man will ask any lady that kinda question.. You can walk away if the lady isn't your type...
Asking that kinda question sounds rude.

Making a woman accountable is "rude"?

I don't know the kind of foooolish men that put these selfish things at home and then boast that shows they are "real men" that are "mature" and "responsible".

Adakintroy:
But you women don't hesitate to ask men same question on what they have to offer? But now the question is being reversed and rather than answer it as you always demand. You go in guilt mode. Its a ration question . if we are going to build a house What is your own contribution.

If you have something you bring state it . Or you really don't have something?.

Equality means to women 'advantage for women'.

saphiere:
Run! Run!! Run!!!
My sister run away from the following men..

1. The ones who ask you what you have to offer. These are irresponsible men. They are looking for who to shift their responsibilities to. If not, why would they ask such a dummy question.

2. Men who are interested in your past than your future. Always asking you about your past life. These ones are not ready for marriage.

3. The ones who always want to have their way between your legs whenever you visit them. They can never marry you. It's that sexx that is keeping them.

4. The ones who do not tell you their plans. Always being secretive. You are not important to them because I see no reason a man should keep his plans away from the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

5. The ones who tell their parents almost every about them. They want to eat rice today mum will know. The want to send you 5k their daddy will know.

6. The ones who can't introduce you to their friends. They will not marry you.

7. The ones who do not want you to know their earnings. Run o.
Make myself known how? Even the owner of the forum does not make his face known.
You need my face so you can come and attack me physically because I have chosen to speak up for my gender?

During lockdown in 2020 I do post my pictures here because I thought it was a forum with sane beings not until your fellow unfortunate nairalander male bastard started using my pictures to troll so I stopped.
Go get a life and tell your men to stop with the rape.

Typical dogshit advice women give.

Women are the ones that make women useless, women single and women miserable.

Proserpina:
My submission is a response to your allegation that Nigerian women dodge financial responsibility. You are being dishonest with your rebuttal, your allegation and your reality.
Like I stated earlier in the post you were too eager to counter than understand. It is very childish, immature and irresponsible for a man to ask such silly question. A man discern how valuable a woman is without having to sound stupid by asking silly questions.

Like it or not, it is your responsibility as a man to care of your wife and kids, pay their bills and ensure their wellbeing. Whatever your wife adds is support not the main deal. If you can't do this then you should remain single.

So what is the responsibility of the woman?

folake4u:
My sister!!!

If we nor see evidence for him body, he go explain tire.

Men who know what they want do not need to ask such question. Women already bring a LOT to the table when they bear children, and take care of the family.

Everybody knows their responsibilities.

If your ability to bear children and take care of them is all you bring to the table and you regard that as "a lot", you are just a useless woman.

Imagine a man says he has ability to cum and provide finances to raise a child is all he has bring to the table and that is "a lot".

Too many useless black women in this world! Just poor quality they are.

BankyGee:
Omo you don miss news wella be that o...

FIFA increased the one match ban to a THREE match ban! Imagine!

Before she play for us again na if we reach quarterfinals.

Wow!

No news report from the utterly useless Nigerian press to inform me.

I would have loved to see those three in front of defenders.

So, now, I would wish 3-4-1-2:

----------------------------------------------Nnadozie---------------------------------------------------


--------------Demehin---------------------Ohale--------------------Ogbonna--------------------


-------Alozie---------------Ayinde---------------------Ucheibe-----------------Plumptre-------


------------------------------------------------Payne------------------------------------------------------


------------------------------Ajibade------------------------Oshoala----------------------------------

bender79:
cow dung !

Perfect description of your brain.

Bastards!

Rewarding Prince Abubakar Audu for looting Kogi State of billions of Naira before he died.

And some foolish, brain-dead Nigerian youths will say what we need is a youthful leader.

Here is your youthful leader, Yahaya Bello.

Another is Dino Melaye. You daft baaastards!