₦airaland Forum

MemoriesAndMe:
You have been talking about your brother's marriage over and over, how will you be able to focus on your on life and marriage? It's starting to get boring hearing about my brother this, my brother that.

Why poking into other people's marriage? I'm glad you're not a relative of mine because you would have been here discussing my home with random people just to entertain yourself.

Easy bruv........ The word my "brother " and "sister in-law" here is the subject and center of the whole thing! So don't get all worked up when you see me say it all the time cuz it a necessity for me if I must make a reference to him and her. And as you know, I can't call his name or hers, And some people requested for the whole beginning, as you know, these is not "other people's marriage " it involves all of us both her people and my people too. And God knows why I'm ain't a "relative of yours" and nothing entertaining here! Entertainment section is there on nairaland.

How am I going to focus on my life and marriage?

Guess what? This whole experience and event has changed my view about marriage, I don't think I can even embark on any for now..... I now see why people opt for baby mama!

FairlyUSEDpussy:
Let your brother divorce that bit*****h!!!!
If he doesn’t after the whole brouhaha...........your bro go collect from her hand!!!!!!

I'm scared of marriages these days brother......
Your moniker is funny

FERNANDEZISBACK:
Exactly they just can't keep going on with all this unnecessary drama just to please themself..
Let everyone be on their own and build their life separately.. Simple

Marriage is mostly overrated...

True, anyway, thanks for your input

FERNANDEZISBACK:
Let them divorce so each person can go their separate ways..
Easy as that..not disturbing the online word with their private issues..

Very smooth and peaceful..looks like they are not meant to be together..
No one should quote me if we ain't gonna have a mature talk..if you know you ain't old enough don't just quote me cos I can't keep explaining things all the time..

I think so too.....
Had to write the genesis of the whole thing for the sake of clarity especially for those who saw the first story and requested for the whole beginning,
And to thank them for there comments.
Marriage is no more like our fathers and mothers time

WARNING: These is a lengthy post....

Sequel to the previous thread given below.

https://www.nairaland.com/6950569/brothers-marriage-collapse

Now for the interest of justice and for the thought of not being bias, i will like to narrate what actually transpired.

My brother is not a saint in any way neither does he never had his own short comings, as I believe no one is a saint.

He caught his wife having a chat with her ex red handed. She had a second secrete Facebook account which she doesn't often login in with in her main phone, she uses her PC when using that her malicious account.

She denied it to the ground, he asked her the second day and she accused him of false allegations and started crying, that he is trying to blackmail her, she then went to the media and pended down a lopsided emotional story, in fact she added some things that I don't want to start saying here due to the ongoing tussle.

He showed her the proof, he snapped it on his phone, She then agreed and said they only chatted and she never had a sexual affair with her ex in any where, she swore that it was only the chat. She apologized series of of time and he forgave her.


Now my brother was ignorant to the fact that she had gone to the media the first time he confronted her. Even me myself never knew that this is actually what she did, not until the whole matter exploded, he hid it from us and secretly forgave her and everything ended,
these happened during December 2021.


Now fast forward to early January, a family friend and a colleague who knew her as my brother's wife came across her previous post and eventually started calling my brother and he kept asking what is happening, now my brother being ignorant of what has occurred kept telling him everything is okay, not until a former course mate of my brother who lives overseas, Germany I guess, called my brother and asked him to take a look at what his wife posted on twitter.


He sent him the screenshot and twitter link and lo and behold it was my sister in-law, my brothers wife, her pictures, name, and some family photos, it was truly her account.


He called her and asked her why she did that, She said it was when they had that issue that she posted it and as such she said she is deeply sorry!


Now what broke the camel's toe was when the MD called my brother and told him to see him, when he went, it was actually based on the post.


My brother use to be a highly respected man in his place of work and we have been expecting a promotion this year before everything happened, these got my brother furious and hence his decision. This man pays my bills in school, he can't afford to lose his promotion as family need is becoming too much.


The internet never forget, even if you delete the post, some people might have already screenshot it.


I am a christian and I know what the scripture says concerning divorce, I do have a sister who I will never wish her to experience broken home especially a painful one like this due to some expensive mistake. To some people, rules are rules, when you break it you see the result, if you don't want result, don't break it.

Note: no one among us ever knew about the wife's secret dealings with her ex, not until after he forgave her and afterwards the friend began calling, that was when we knew what she actually deed.


Though she swore that she only chatted her ex and never had any sex with him anywhere, but her chat contains some romantic messages in it.

My dad asked her If his son had ever failed in his responsibility as a husband, she said no, he asked if she has ever suspected any illicit behavior from his son she said no, he asked her if he had ever raised his hands on her, she said no.

Now for some people saying I'm doing the same thing as my sister in-law, you see, here is the Difference, nairaland is a faceless forum with fake name, fake address, fake profile images and anonymous location, But for her twitter, the profile picture is there, the real name is there, the family picture is there, the friends list has some real life people as followers there, in fact, people that knew her in church are there. Even if name can be fake but family picture can't be fake as well as the profile picture cuz it her image that is there.

My brother knows about nairaland and I asked for his permission before posting these even though he told me it will not change anything. I think I will share the link to him these night when i'm less busy.

just like I have said earlier, my brother is not a saint, or blameless, he has his own short comings but not as deep as this.

My sister in-law is cool, calm, good too and respectful but the problem is the media.

My bro told me that even if the court fails to end the union, he'll let her live in her own place and not his house, and don't even care about sending whatever she said is what she needs for child support until the child grows. I don't think she'll enjoy the marriage like these if the court fails to end the union. It's still like being single.


I saw all the comment and I did what most of you guys suggested especially the one who said I should speak with the lawyer, I secretly took my brother's phone yesterday and copied the lawyer's number, I called him and explained everything to him and personally linked him up with my sister in-law to speak directly with the lawyer.

I want to call her tomorrow to ask her what is going on with the lawyer, because I told her to talk with the lawyer to see if he can soften the whole problem.

Thanks for all your comment, I wish my brother will. Change his mind after reading these post.

Jennyclay:
The summary here is that, Your brother is an introvert while his wife is an extrovert.

But was your brother not aware she's among awon Tonto dike crew before he married her??

She developed it suddenly, her counsel of friends are the internet type......
And some people can be extroverted in real life and quite in the internet

odinson1:
Tell your brother what i just told you about

"the fear of divorce being almost as Terrifying as the divorce itself"

She will think twice before misbehaving again because she knows your brother is a no nonsense man. Tell him not to divorce her,what he has been doing since is enough punishment and warning for her.

But if she misbehaves again...

Thanks a lot for your time and advice, I'll make sure I try more tomorrow. I wish he'll just here any of us! The funny thing is that, he'll give you a listening ear with all maximum respect and then after you're done talking he'll tell you he's made up his mind..... I'll try more tomorrow just like you've advised.

odinson1:
Dude Your Brother is a Man Worthty of Respect. This is how you discipline a woman,by making her know she's easily Replaceable. Some foolish men will advise you to have a heart to heart conversation with your wife and beg her,these Are just a waste of time because she will only use that Conversation to Manipulate you even further.

But... I'll advise him not to divorce her...yet. the fear of divorce alone is enough for her to Know who is the Man of the house.
Trust me,she will never misbehave in that house ever again

I'm scared brother, these man can endure even the worst of all attitude you can ever imagine from a woman.. But I don't know what came over my brother to decide these all of a sudden

bahdpersona:
I like your brother's reaction, people like your brother can repeat warning for innumerable times but when it's time to penalize their offenders , nothing can stop them.

Truth be said, he warned her countless of time, maybe she took his gentility for granted and thought it'll be like the previous one's she's been getting away with

Equal2DeTask:



Year 2022, the year for RedPillers

Fellow, I think it's not about redpill or whatever you may call it, I think its a thing of standard and respect for your partners boundaries. I'm weak and tired

bestdefender:
Omo this one heavy ,but on a second thought why posting family matter on a social media, my guy like you said he is a man of his word , the truth is that one person can stop him now and that's your mum intensify the plea ok .
And for all the ladies that thinks going to social media to solve you marital problems unanonymous is the Koko , I have one thin to tell ya...,..............
Fuk all yo

My mom was whom I first called especially the moment I heard him calling the lawyer for the divorce papers........ It's been a week plus now... He's hell bent in his decision...... I'm even heart touched by the cry of these Lady.... I've done my best... Will keep trying and for the Pastor, that one no too like church things to much

thorpido:
Keep appealing to your brother.Get his pastor or an elder he respects to intervene.
Her offence is not too bad to just throw the marriage away.

Honestly brother, I wish I can tell all that happened
I've tried my best and my entire family, but I don't know what made these lady did these. I warned her about these social media of a thing

My brother has been a well disciplined man, he has married a woman whom he love dearly, sometimes I wish If I was a woman, I'll marry him! Gentle, calm, humble, educated, exposed with a very good source of livelihood. Doesn't smoke, drink or womanize And most importantly, God fearing. Maybe heritage from our dad.

But I never could have imagined it that what seems like a blissful marriage of my brother could end just like that. What is the problem? Social media! They had an issue, and she went and posted it there, from WhatsApp to Facebook and the worst of all twitter and some stupid women group which she seems to be a member of, may be there is some Judges there, come and see some people passing judgment even without hearing the other side of the story.

He warned her series of time not to ever post any family related issues to the media. I can remember while I was still with them, he always tells her if she ever has anything about him, she should call him and discus it with him or better still report to our parent. I don't know if it's a family thing for us or something, personally, I'm not too good with these social media of a thing.

To the best of my knowledge, my brother is the best and cool personality I had ever come in contact with, But these act of hers has been the height of it for him.

Brethren as I'm talking to you now, my brother has contacted a lawyer to prepare the divorce papers. Our parents and family members has called a meeting, we begged him for almost a week now but he stood his ground about the divorce, her family has come to apologize and beg for reconciliation for the both of them but to no avail, I spoke to him personally and begged like what you could ever imagine but our please fell on deaf ear. He personally told me that if his wife had gone to the court, he would've preferred it. If there is absolutely anything I know about my brother is him being a man of his words. She has done countless of things to him and She'll call us to apologize all the time and he'll forgive especially when my mom is involved. But for these I don't know what To say, she has cried and cried her eyes all out but for where It seems My brother has made up his mind, But if I may ask the ladies, why always the social media, going out there to claim the victims card.

Sorry I don't have much time neither am I good with telling stories, if not, I should have narrated what led to the whole problem but is a long epistle on it own....

Why is too hard to know what your spouse want and dislike. Note: he doesn't even want you posting his image in any media platform even on his birthdays, we're kinda some sort of reserved people in my family.

The marriage is three years old.
Not everybody likes these social media of a thing.

airsaylongcome:
Dick measuring contest. If everyone focuses on developing new tech who is going to use them? Development is in stages. You use existing tech. Get competent at using it, identify gaps in the tech and develop additions to using them. As una good reach all of una na still Windows/Linux/MacOS all man still dey use. Why doesn't anyone here develop their own OS? Or their own Programming Language?

Don't reinvent the wheel.......innovations!!!

LikeAking:
Op calm down life na small. small.

We never reach that side.

You've never reach there you meant to say.........

others have gotten there and far ahead!

Maybe you're in HTML, CSS, JAVASCRIPT as usual I guess.

ichidodo:
[color=#1980BC] The environment with all the intelligence is too harsh for such ideas to be developed so folks go for the easy way out..You have to be emotionally invested and pained to embark on challenges such as automation,robotics,Ai etc to solve real life problems...I never liked maths but I loved computers and how they worked...the languages on offer then were too abstract, enough for me to get brain damage but God bless whoever made python, now I can read and write code like one who's writing an article or reading a newspaper without getting migraines...I wrote an AI to recognise human behavioural patterns in the forex market thereby giving itself a market edge on making money trading forex for His Father (me) without the emotional drama that comes with being personally involved in that activity...And that was my passion alone to learn AI and deep learning..[/color]

Good work.......impressive!!!

Good work..........
you did an enduring task by going through the image one by one!!!! kudos......

ichidodo:
[color=#1980BC] Most Nigerians hate maths and aren't intelligent enough to think out of the box never mind to think abstract...All we like to do is copy and paste..Is it a wonder web designing is the most popular? The irony is web designing needs so much expensive hardware to execute properly and yet is lowest paid while data analysis, automation, robotics etc can go with a moderately cheap hardware, enough space to create your own algorithmic niche and be paid very well for it...[/color]

Brilliant.........

we don't just want to brain storm or think out of the box.....
And data science, automation, robotics demands higher scale of problem solving ability and that's where application of advanced maths equations comes into play in developing algorithms.

just develop one Ai algorithm that solves a very hard problem that seems impossible, just one, you're fvcking millionaire with a long term financial sustainability while solving other problems........ but to do the thinking and intelligence related task, you no go see anybody.

these is why elon musk keeps racking in millions of dollars (automation).

na just to dey do one thing over and over for here!!!

Ai systems are taking over some tech sectors as we are speaking, these AI offers better proficiency, accuracy, durability and lots more.

who wan dey stress himself dey build softwares to do big works?

A friend recently started designing some neural network algorithm for breast cancer detection from infant stage, these Neural network automatically generate a HTML encodings of the features detected and automatically display them on your browser........even with some CSS stylings too, the Ai does that by itself......

He's still developing the whole system, though with some issues as it stands presently which i think is normal for every new innovation, but a good progress and improvement is already being observed.

He test run the system for me...mehn, I was wowed and marveled..... I couldn't help it especially in the automatic web generated pages........

later learnt that he lost an Aunty due to breast cancer!!!!!!

arejibadz:
ai requires lot of praticals which you cant get tools or equipment in nigeria.....the world is leaving us behind bro

Leaving us far behind...........

Even in the web development, I think a lot of innovations can be made to make life easier other than just building web pages and Content management system or blogs and adding just responsiveness to them.....I think more can be done over the web too. and thats where real web programmers comes into play.

I told my junior brother who is into web that did he know that games can be written to run over the web? he was almost debating with me that it's almost impossible, I just laugh and move on....I know only real time hard core web programmers can do that........not WordPress people

we love entertainment in naija, every one knows that, especially entertainment from our smart phones, How many good games are from Nigerian game programmers not that plenty

KunleyY19:
I love your point. It's a general problem in Nigeria. We get fixated on one thing before it finally cast. Once somebody writes a story on how he earns huge amount of money from a particular thing you see people rushing into that same thing. It's a race of survival here in Nigeria and not a race of innovation...

in deed no trace of innovations......

just talks say you earn 350k for one thing, boom everywhere go scatter.... you go see traffic anyhow. then later, another person go come they tell u say him go do that same thing for just 25k, very funny.........

No innovation of any sort, brother take these from me, there are lot of unexplored problems calling for solutions that once you can proffer possible solution, you're in huge cash, but heel no...... only REINVENTING the wheel.......or doing what others has done in the past........some systems have even sometimes been set up to even handle those task with ease!

programing is problem solving and not reinventing the wheel!!!!

look at Tesla, Apple, Microsoft, Amazon etc....... they don't do same thing over and over again......the come up with new innovations every time.....and these keeps them relevant!!!!

hahn:
The environment does not support development bro.

Allow people learn html, css, javascript first so they can least put food on the table and work out how to travel out of the country.

The stress here is way too much

true sha.........

inside life!!!!!

tensazangetsu20:
Absolutely but you see even at its low state, the government hates and despises tech.They want everyone poor and suffering and living on Npower. You see a future Japan for Nigeria, they imagine a place that can be worst than Afghanistan and Somalia combined.

what a pity, we're in deep mess!!!!

especially in our educational sector and universities.....

my one time experiences some years ago!

my so called lecturer was lecturing in my second year then(C language), and some students where trying to rewrite those nonsense he wrote on the board as programs, on their PCs, then the lecturer told them to close their gadgets and only listen, when they get home then, they can write the code, omo I come they ask my self say how the students go take see if everything dey correct....... for fear of Carry over everybody mellow!!!!!

in fact, him bin dey copy code for him phone from one site like that and him dey write for board, come even dey make mistakes, sometimes him no go close opening braces or terminates some sentences with semicolon. and you dare not write nor run the code, see plenty error even without compiling the codes

for the fact that I've been coding right from my last days in secondary school before gaining admission, I no dey even mind the man. na to come class sign attendance.

arranged some of my gees having troubles, take them tutorials and boom, i zoom.

na for filling of practical manual for that language, na him the man come dey notice say some people been sabi the stuff ooo........man come go on a low key.......

na to dey carry macbook up and down.

tensazangetsu20:
If poverty in Nigeria is fixed, people will do all this. Vietnam already has branches of popular game companies. A large amount of indian devs were part of the team that made dishonoured become human. Poverty needs to die in Nigeria first and people will code the moon.

plus exploring other part of our economy. for naija, power supply which is important for tech is second to zero here.

tech budgeting na zero........if not technology can be used to combat most of our national problems ranging from health, security, education, businesses etch......just like other part of the world that has made life easy with technology and innovations........ na only oyel.....

Think4Myself:
I've noticed this too not just AI sef, even game is hardly discussed almost like we have only JavaScript and python programmers in Nigeria, no C, C++ few in java, nobody is into unity with C# and I think it's hurting our tech space cos there won't be any startup like Adobe coming out of Nigeria or even operating systems, powerful games etc

Reason why we can never compete with the rest of the world, Nigerians often time depends on one thing, once they know that thing, they don't easily let go......until e cast!!!

These is what has kept Nigeria stagnant the way it is today.
No diversifying of economy...........

In India, Vietnam, USA, Europe and other part of the world, they don't depend or focus on one thing. they have good programmers in different aspect of programing ranging from game, software, robotics, web, embedded systems, UI/UX, Ai etc..........but here in naija, na one thing!!!!! expect for few who have a different non popular niche.

And for developing operating systems, hmmm make I no talk.....who wan stress themselves for here? na to use finished product na him we sabi........better people go sit down, think and then come out with libries, frameworks, then we go just rush go learn to use them......that's all!!!

with these kind mentality, I no sure say we go ever compete with other part of the world in terms of technology!

white man dey explore every part of something........

plat0:
https://www.nairaland.com/6202720/thread-experiment-reinforcement-learning-artificial

Saw it when you first posted it....... it's nice and amazing!!! but Ai post is not often seen here!!!

Saskay44:
If you learn ai for naija for were u wan practice m

Not necessarily to work in naija, one can take remote jobs and solve real time problems facing life on your own.

I've been on nairaland for some years now even though I've never been a registered member in those years, especially on the programing sections!

Why is it that I only see people posting about HTML, CSS, JAVASCRIPT, REACT, NODES etc and just the web stuffs in general.

I don't see people posting things about Artificial intelligence, maybe writing AI algorithms or even robotics and embedded systems.......even though you don't have to do them to work in Nigeria, but how about taking foreign jobs?, AI remote works. of which, I believe Nigeria is almost moving into automatons, even if it's not now but in the future (thanks to our backwardness and slow adaptation to modern world)

Before you'll see one AI programmer, you might have seen almost 40 to 50 web developers I'm talking about HTML, CSS, JAVASCRIPT people etc and other web related stuff.

is it because Nobody wants to stress themselves with highly brain demanding task or what or because it is common among Nigerian tech space. I think more abides in technology other than just web activities.

even for the web development, I think you can write some AI codes and deploys them to your web whatever, to solve highly sophisticated computations and tasks on your websites. or is it just for building a design based stuffs, e commerce sites, content management system(CMS)advertising sites, school portals, car websites, blogs, news sites etc......

I think one can do more than these designs stuffs and makes there site a platform for performing or solving real time problems by writing AI algorithms to automate there site.

So, why is it only web here unlike other foreign programing forums where you'll see post about different aspect of coding.

I stand to be corrected about my thinking...... just my observations.

or is it that we don't have much AI programmers here unlike the numbers of web developers and web related posts

.

tensazangetsu20:
Those guys don't even know html. One of them was asking for help a while back to edit a HTML template. They are quacks.

No mind them......and na them dey first make mouth say them be programmers...... if programing dey simple as it sounds, plenty people for don full everywhere. na when them put head for inside, na there them go know say no be to dey copy paste.

them no wan know how them even take build those templates......

CelestineNelson:
My opinion
Is it because of hunger? Why are you guys marketing programming job in such a shameful manner... What is 10k for a website? I bet you are the type that use word press and templates...what is 20k? Please stop doing damage to your carrier or else you will remain poor forever with your 20k,10k, 5k per website... There are people that collect 5m for just a website if you don't know. You are not marketing foodstuffs in your village market Bro, this is technology... I don't know how you guys find your way to this carrier...there are places they will reject you because they feel if you are that good, you shoudn't be this low in client quotation (Abuja to be precise)... If you remain poor and living hand to mouth life in this our carrier, Na you cause am oo
Learn how to position your self for a reward.
The issue with young programmers is that they don't know how to market their skills...that is why one mass communication student will just get the job, give them, collect 350k and pay them 50k...while he that does nothing goes home with 300k. The difference is presentation, it matters alot ...
I know your hustling, but don't die hustling hustle to rest and enjoy too.
Programming is beyond web design using drag and drop,templates and wordpress!

lol......funny enough, na for only web development them dey try these nonsense! make them try am for artificial intelligence, embedded systems, regressions, Neural networks. their head go knock with advanced maths computations.

Any small thing you go here, "I'll build website any type of website" for you for 10k, 20k, 30k......nonsense!

In fact, make them build stock market price prediction models from SCRATCH to run over the web, everywhere go quite! them think say web development na HTML, CSS, JAVASCRIPT...... Drag and drop nonsense....... No mental task!!!!

No body wan dey deal with mad equations.... or mentally demanding task of problem solving. na to only download templates and prebuilt frameworks built by other serious programmers that knows their onions.

Debzempire:
Xiaomi redmi 7 ...the one of 32gb should be around that price range...

Or simply go for.... infinix or Tecno...

I Saw Someone With Xiaomi Redmi 9a, How About That? You've Got Any Experience About That?

Uzomacharles:
No go buy phone wey EFCC dey set compass for

Not Everyone Is A Fraudster!