₦airaland Forum

Am a married woman wt 3 kids and to be honest d op made a lot of sense........but my dear its worse 4 women 90% of married women in nigeria to day are still in dre marriage not becos dey r happy but cos of soceity,family,children,religion,stigma attached to a divorced woman,etc......women go tru a lot in d name of marriage,dese days infidelity is like pure water both married men and women r playing d game and social media has worsen d situation.......BUT what ever path we choose don't 4get we shall all die 1 day and must give account of how we lived.

God,kids,My fone,dstv

So inviting.......Me like but wear clothe abeg ds s childish

I can see u tink tru ur anus"keep fooling ur self..whatever happens is d woman's fault indeed......arrant nonses

AfricanApple:
I see it as a normal thing, what is abnormal is for d woman to accept or give d guys green light.

its natural for a man to be attracted to a woman, married or not and d men will always wanna try out their ways.

u come my shop say u won buy market, I tell u say I no want sell, biko u go force me sell am? in fact sef, d way I take display d market, unwanted purchasers go fear to come price am. so whatever happens d fault will be on the woman

alutacontinua:
Did your supplier mix something else with your weed?




@op, have you talked to your wife about these changes?
like it or not, the most important thing to a woman from a man is not money, so, forget about the 'I take care of her financially' part.
A normal, sane woman does not exhibit all of those characteristics at once, not to a very wonderful husband. She's most likely reacting to something. Have you cheated or are you cheating on her? Do you have unresolved issues? How's the sex life? Etc etc......I seriously believe your wife is reacting to an equal but opposite action, identify the action and you can move from there.




However, if you're strongly convinced that this woman has just made it her life ambition to frustrate you for no reason, then, you have a psycho on your hand-you know what to do

your comment show lots of maturity.........can we be friends

Why won't girls lie...........if dey say dey v had sex wit 50 guyz in d past una go run.....dey only. Lie to make u feel special......n as ur fkn some ones gf some s doing ur own too......what goes around comes around so stop pointing fingers

Just read of how guys can handle side chick,please how can a lady handle side guy

Me like both main guy and side guy

Have been following ds thread..........who is fooling who....men are careless in cheating women are extreemly carefull....d truth s dat most women cheat becos their men cheat too...infact more women cheat dese days due to social media......you can't eat ur cake and have it..men tink dey r smart......if u don't want a cheating wife den don't cheat period.

Dat is why even after marriage women still keep a couple of close male friends unknown to their husband........women very secretive since 1902

lalasticlala: Dr Goodluck Jonathan

5 May 2010-Incumbent

duration: 4 years,150 days(as of 1st October 2014)

you are a blessing

Nawa 4 u Op so make person business no move again abi? We way get fast food outlet nko.......make we close am........abeg park well

Some women enjoy fone sex because of lack of sex from their cheating husband........if not 4 technology wetin dem4 do........African men r full of shit when it comes to marriage........technology has lessen d womans pain........

nairalife2013: Hang on, don't worry, it will pass away. I had dis same challenge in my workplace. She won't stay a day widout coming into my office. When she is inside my office, she would sit there wid her eyes fixd on mine. She wouldstare softly at me til tears start biulding up in her eyes and, unbelievably, d tears would roll down slowly. I was inlov wid her but I never mentioned it. One evening, I was driving down a busy street to see a freind, I ran into her. She was walking down dressd in a light gown and flat-sole shoes. I stopd, suprised to see her there dressed simply like that. Close by in a low-fenced compound, I saw her car parkd wid another. Datz where I liv, she told me as I alighted and offer som greetings. D street was dimly lit, and it was already to nine. She HELD my hand and walked down d street. That was where she told me she love me so much and it has becom a burden and agony in her soul. I told her I feel d same, I let her know itz been a serious issue to deal wid d ferocious desires I have for her all these years. We departed wid an unfinished goodbye. She told me d next day in d office dat after she opened up to me and as I was leaving she heaved a sigh of relieve and her life reassumed a bit of nomalcy. Being both married, in d proceeding days and months, we opened up to each other on d disadvantages of having sex or indulging in unacceptable intimacy. She cried and confessed she doesn't know what is happening to her, a Godly person, wid no history of sexual misbehaviour. She told me her husband is d only man she has ever known sex wid. She cried unconsoleably. One nite, one wicked nite, we stood so closely, starring helplessly at eachother for a VERYLONG time, she came even closer and held my hand and turned her back close to my chest wid her eyes now looking down! I hav done a lady on a dark, tree-filled street before, wid her hands on my suv, wid her standing between both doors opened to shield d silhoute of our frenzied beings. dis one would hav bn d same. But dis one was BadMarket to d last letter. I smiled in d dark and, tho I always despiced moonlight on a lovers' nite out, I took a sudden craving for d moon. " Am a bad lover" I struggled to say to her. But it was a lie, I suppose. Such words coming from a guy, I was later afraid, hav inspired more lov from d lady u only wanted to tame. "Don't love me", I added, in a bid to help us all.she turned. Her eyes were d only things I saw and they lit up d whole street hitherto dark. A leader in a church, a day can't pass widout an ecclestiastic program, married to a similar highly religious man wid kids; I recalled stealthily in my ravaged heart, but at 38 wid average height she was terribly beautiful wid fairskin, demonic curves and voluptous bossoms, my favourite! as they say in d movies!!. Now it was my turn to heave a sigh!. She looked down again, wid a slow labourous breathe. We slowly got into my car and left d ugly seen without more words from both of us. I dropd her in a mart close to her street. From experience, from years of fail-less attempts, I know who I am. This one was not even my attempt, and she was not d first. Those who are bragging and lambasting d op will some day know d truth, dat providence can jam u wid someone somehow dat u helplessly dote on to a point of agony without regard to your status as married, male or female. I was able to control my self , she did d same. We see everyday and we had opened up to eachother on d challenges we could face, if we hav sex or see each other in private places. Chatting together, looking at eachother inspired desire in us, we both addmitted, so we learn to avoid dat altogether. Itz been 3yrs now since dat incidence at d dark wicked street, we still work together, but those dersires are fading away. I don't know, I just thot u could learn one or two things here. Itz only God dat can help u get away unscathed.

I read ds wt tears in my eyes.....its like u understnd d whole tin,infact dat s d situation.......am relieved already...Godbless you, I no I wll overcome

At work tmorw I wll face him,infact I wll make out time n talk wt him.......nt about my feelings o but just t face him n look into his eyes wich I v nt been able to do n just bring up work issue n talk....maybe if I do dat 4 some days I wll get it over wt.....but I wll kip u guyz posted.......am grateful to everyone..I feel like I v a family here............

Am a christain n I no d consequences moreover its not who I am......why I deceided to bring it here s cos v done all I can.......I just nid ds feeling t go away.......its has cusd me pain in my heart dat was phisical at some point.........ds guy just excites my very existence........everytin he dose excites me dat s y am asking women who have been inds situation to tell me what dey did

I used to be frndly wt d guy(and I no he likes me very much) until I realize I was having ds feeling so now I distance my self from........ds is my 13yr in marriage ..its not like v never had feelings 4 some 1 in d past but it was never a big deal........what I feel for ds guy s overwhelming,overpowering....anytime I set my eyes on him its like fever....I wll b so uneasy n seriouly I hate it

I am happily married.I dint go looking 4 any tin......I cnt even explain ds ungodly feeling...sometimes I hate my self so much...I wish it was just a dream I wuld wake up from

Amelian: Op, what I will advise is dis.. First u r lusting over him. Try and meditate,breathe in , breathe out, and see him as a frnd, u wud like 2 knw. Keep yur feelings aside, I beg you. When u guys are frnds, give each other frndly hugs, and confides in each other. U will be amazed his kind of mindset, that will definitely turn u off, from having this intense heat over him. Then gradually u see him as a colleague and a brother.. Trust me with time, d so called luv will die down. But if u don't go close 2 him,those hot thots won't dissapear. Babe! Take d bull by d horn, and get. 2 be his frNd

d truth s bitter n shameful......I cnt go close to him o.....never.....seeing him alone gets me all walkd up........n sometime just hearing his voice from afar does d damage but all d same thank you

Telling my hubby is a no go area .........I grateful 4 all d positive advice here......women who have been in ds situation shuld pls tell me pratical tins dey did to overcome

Telling my hubby is a no go area .........I grateful 4 all d positive advice here......women who have been in ds situation shuld pls tell me pratical tins dey did

snazzylove: I'll start by telling you that whatever is making you go gaga for this guy is not love, but infatuation and lust unfortunately, and its not worth risking your 13yrs old marriage for.
Like I said, I was once in ur shoes, but the difference is that the guy in question made advances to me, initially I waz like wat da heck does he want, but as time goes by, my mind(devil) started playing trick on my emotions and before you say SNAZZ I was having sleepless nights over him. It was bad, so bad that my hussy noticed my uneasiness.
How did I deal with it?
1) I prayed for Gods wisdom and grace.

2) I asked myself what is it in this guy dat my hussy doesn't have or what can he offer that my hussy cannot give. If its money, I prayed for the grace to be contented.

3) I started seeing the guy as a devil(distraction). Yes oo. I continued to tell myself that this guy is out to break my home.

4) I developed a new form of love for my hussy. Yes. New love. Those things I was seeing in that guy, I started imagining them 4 my hussy. Call it fantasy if you like. I fantasize and daydream about the man I've been married to and have been living with for years. I do crazy stuffs with him. Somtimes when he comes back from work I grab him from d door and seduce him to love making.
At first hussy was lkie what's going on, but bet me he enjoyed evry bit of the new love.
What was I doing? Igniting the fire of love in my marriage, all the while trying to think less of the other guy.
Note am equally a mother of three.
I bought new perfume for him to have a different and more romantic fragrance on him, I did a lot of things that I may not be able to write every thing down.
There was a day I jokingly told him to better start re-toasting me again oo, he was like, "babe all this one you are doing are you sure nobody is toasting you out there"? I was like "dey dia nah, as I hot reach, dem no go toast me before"?
I jokingly passed a message to him.

5) I continued loving my hussy with this new love, even when I don't feel like it. And I continued to pray. And I stopped paying attention to that other guy, no matter how 'dressy' or handsome he appears before me, I turn a blind bat. I stopped seeing anything good in him

6) When I was half-way satisfied with my conscience. I opened up and told hussy everything. I was ready to take whatever tantrum he would have thrown(cos hussy was and is still a good man).
Surprisingly, hussy was not mad at me, infact he commended me, he spoilt me with more love. He took me shopping, movies, clubbing, just name it. He made me feel like a teenager. I felt guilty and fulfilled at the same time.
Sorry for the long sermon

In your case, I think it is and will be easier for you to deal with. Reason is that you are the one falling for this guy and unfortunately or rather fortunately for you, he doesn't notice it(and please don't make him notice).

Forget whatever you are feeling for him, its not real, believe me its not real. Channel that energy, time and emotions you are wasting on him into your marriage, work on yourself, ignite fire of love and romance, see your hussy in a different but positive light, fall in love with him all over again. Do those little romantic stuffs you did in the past, plan a getaway weekend with him(I did that too) just the two of you, have fun, fun, and more fun with your hussy, before you realize it, that your crush will become history.

Chai! Na me type all these. Abeg my thumb is hurting. Make I rest. Feel free to ask me any question if you have.

6

thanks a lot 4 taking time t answer me tho I v tried and sometime I wll tink I v won but after a while its kips happening.........guess I wll kip tryn

chaircover: You have fasted, gone for deliverance, counselling and fasted, yet you still have a 2 year crush on a man minding his own business jeje
Youve been married for 13 years and with 3 kids, so I assume that you are in your 30's so you are not one lovestruck teenager but a fully grown adult.

You know what to do, but you choose not to and until you sleep with this guy, your eyes wont clear. Youve already started looking for excuses saying your husband doesnt have your time due to work commitments, but If the man doesnt fend for you and the children, you will be the first to call him irresponsible.

You are the one who wants something so you are the one who is going to have to teach him by example. Everything you see in the "perfect" office guy you can get your husband to do but only if you choose to invest in your husband.
How many times have you taken a day off work to meet your husband at work and sit on his table and gist with him, bring him food or take him to lunch? he doesnt have to do all the chasing all the time and you too can use your initiative to keep the fire burning. Teach your husband what you want him to do and he will soon get the hang of it when he sees how much joy it brings you.

I was discussing with a young lady the other day and was discussing how many ladies dress beautifully & colour coded for work and keep their hair out nicely and wear nice jewellery, but at home put on that black sleeping cap and hide the hair and put on one baggy dress and thats what the hubby gets to see everyday.

Many dress for outsiders not insiders. In short the "perfect" man you see in the office may be a terrible husband at home & with filthy habits so dont be fooled by outward appearances. I am sure his wife has 1001 complaints about him too. So is that the man you want to break your marriage and damage your childrens future for?

You better go and relax and find a hobby or wear sunglasses in the office. If he is in your line of vision change your desk abeg. . . .and spend the time that you are spending lusting over another man, investing in your own marriage and you will see the results.

what I have told you is d truth...........I have tried a lot of tins just t kip ds off me.....tho dere was a time we used t chat on watsup I went as far as deleting all his contact n watup app..........tho chat was just a frndly 1.......when he asked me why am no more using watsup......I rudely told him my fone crashed,he askd me couple of times but stopped due t d manner I respond t him.

cococandy: If only you knew what he's like behind closed doors.
You'll see he may not be better than your husband. Sadly getting close enough to find out for yourself may ruin your marriage and by the time you discover he's not worth the trouble,you'd have lost both ways.

Ask for a transfer.

I actually did dat last year but was denied

onegig: What happened to telling your husband about this?

He is the best that can help you here since your individual efforts is not yielding results. That's if you guys communicate well and deep and you agree to such open discussions from the start. You may also ask for a transfer to another department or something just to be able forget him.

tell hubby ke........dats sucidal

snazzylove: Chillisauce Lol@ frog eater.
Babe I dey come make I give u correct advice. Was once in ur shoes

am waiting pls.......sometimes I even slap my self real hard......so I can wake up from ds situation

Chillisauce: Three kids and you are dying for a married man that doesn't even know how you feel about him. Do you think he feels same way?

Since you have tried all you could to get the attention away. Try strafing him.
By the time you do am once, the love go clear for your eyes when everything you built for the past 13 yrs go just fall yakata for your eyes.

Two things, get him out of your mind or strafe him so the conji go clear for your eyes.

This 'love' won't take you anywhere.

I know that.........I just need a miracle in my heart........on my part I have tried but d heart kips going

zeb04: If you weren't married,i would advice you let him know because most times when we get to be Friends with the people we crush on,we find out things we wouldn't know from afar of and It just kills the whole romantic stuff but then again,you are a married woman and when I talk about *Leaving 80% to find 20%.......I am sure you know what am talking about.Goodluck

sometimes its like am loosing my mind.......I wish dere was a drug I culd take to make it go away........cos its touture

thorpido: Sometimes you can't help but admire someone of the opposite sex even when married.However,something is wrong when you allow it to dwell in your heart just as you are doing.
I think the bigger problem is that there is a disconnect with your husband.You are not getting the attention you need from him.Why don't you get your husband to pay more attention to you?Perhaps,he's been too busy lately.

It's a good thing the man is not the one trying to hit on you.Do everything possible not to get him to notice you.

my dear I have been married for 13years with 3kids.......whots on ma hubby's mind s how t make enof money t take kia of his kids.........when I tok about attention he makes it look as if am not considret

I have been tryn to deal with it.........hoping that time will solve it but its been 2years now.......and I still feel the same n more.......hearing his voice alone is a problem 4 me............I avoid contact with him as much as I can........the days I don't get t see him at the office....is best for me but dat not withstanding I tink about him every day within this past 2years........it started the very 1st day he was transfered to my office.....the very day I set my eyes on him..........

Please I need matured advice,am a married woman who has fallen helplessly inlove with another married man, I have tried all I can to put him out of my mind but the more I try the worst it get, I have even gone for counseling,deliverance,fasted and all that but yet reality is starring me in the face, I have deleted all his contact from my fone but then I see him every day at work tho he dosent no this.....please my brothers and sisters how do I get out of this mess(I have never felt this way in my life)

Nice