@walelead!
thats a good one!!! feels good to be accurately psycho-analysed by smne, i try to do that a lot myself, needless to say you're spot-on.
Guess i'll def try out the steps. thanx bro!!!

thanks guys 4 your posts,am so happy that i hv people to run to when am downcast,i hv long 4gotten about him,i now have a man who now kisses the ground that o walk on.

Hen!!!! u now av a man that kisses the ground that u walk on? A man?!!! Naaah i dont think so,
I''m waiting for wen the guy would start his own thread too "help i'm kissing the ground a Benin girl walks on and the juju no dey go"[

HINT: I love my girl because she doesnt enjoy sex and obviously hates guys At least in that i'm insured she would never cheat on me

she doesn't enjoy sex or doesn't enjoy it with u?
I'm not so certain what other men want, but what i want?,
The minimum physical requirement is that she's able to turn-on my switches without effort (even though i'm not one for sex befre marriage, i'm one whose looking 4wrd to it). Mentally, she has to be able to match my level of conversing and reasoning or at least find a way around it quite effortlessly. Emotionally stable; while i understand the emotional needs of women and always look 4wrd to holdin up my woman, she'll suck me dry if she's an emotional pest. there are other social, and other requirements. The most important is that, we MUST share the same FAITH, not just religion but FAITH. Ok, so now i've stripped myself and i feel naked enough to stop, right here!!!

Ladies dont av to be liars or cheates to cry but they often are, Crying is a major one of the so called emotional sides of the "strengths of feminity" (we all know the strongest physical sides).Many ladies know it brings out rection from guys (and infact other women), so they exploit that fact.
The reaction though could either be irritaion or empathy

kaecy5:

i can see u actually need some growing up to do
please no offence it is not an insult

the girl likes u since u can't do the talking she is making u do it and your here complaining that she is after u

well u have not tried her out yet and u are complaining
life is full of risk u have to learn to take risk in every thing

if u think your smart enough how come the one u love left u ? probably u don't have the skills to keep a woman
try this one out nobody is sayin u should sleep with her just be her friend first

infact i think she is a good girl for her to be able to buy your faMIly over

stop complaining and act like a man should

the only way to go is forwaRD

@kaecy5
Ok, agreed, life is full of risks. but i really don't think u read between the lines, we've actually been friends for at least eight months though we met about a year ago, On one of my posts, i said i've tried but she just isn't what i want. So how else do i try, take her to the altar, maybe my heart go change then?
Abotu not being able to keep a woman, my broda, if u talk dat one wen the wound still fresh, i 4 find ur ear bite am off. 'nyways, u dont know the details, the girl (my ex) by the way is back begging that i take her back but thats anoda story, checkout the topic: "why does NYSC 'kill' relationships for details.

make all of una cool down for the babe abeg!!! the truth is, Nairaland is just like anywhere else where u can meet anybody, so nobody shd blame her for 'falling'.
That said, i think its good to warn both guys and ladies that Nairaland is not branded, the home of naija's bestest saints!!! so dia4, if an everyday naija guy can use and dump, so caa nairaland member, dat goes 4 ladies too. chikena!!!

taiye men!!!
Thanks but i'm almost sure this one go confuse me. Besides, i'm not the kinda guy to just try things out. I want always want my commitment to be 100%. Then isn't it scary that a gurl shd be this strong in going after a guy?

Pet names are great, i dont disagree bt meennn, they're definitely not an indication of commitment. I used to call my ex OLO MI or O BABY and she used to call me OKO MI. But when twas time for ha to dump me, those stuffs dint mata. she had even called me the same petname on the fone a week before she droped the bomb shell. She was so good at those things that i neva suspected ha cheating or anything like that so if u asked me, use the petnames if u wish but be aware of the true level of commitment

Unlike the topic suggests, i'm not exactly a fan of DBanj.
I met this gurl in church sometime ago while i was still in a serious relationship and we became friends, of course, i told her once i realised she was constantly calling and visiting that i had a fiance. She took offence at that and wondered why i would mistake her good gestures at friendship for anything more. I apologised, and moved on.
Now, my fiance's broken-up with me (cos of a guy she met during service by the way) and this other gurl has been relentlessly on my case. the calls and visits intensified, the most annoying part is she got the phone numbas of my friends and my mom and calls dem "just to say wassup".
I've tried every language i know to tell her to fly but no way. I don't like being rude but i'v resorted to that for two months now, yet no change. The unfortunate part is, no matter how hard i try to 'like' her, its just not possible. I'm nt a player and i wldn't wanna add hurting smne to my CV. Abeg wetin i go do o!!!!

@dammy0405
'm really proud to hear that, pls keep it up. I'm sure your man will value you for that! cheers

Sorry o!!! what do i think?  People generally thrive on information, there's a sense of pride derived from 'knowing people's gists', and of course that pride is only completed by sharing it with others. discretion on your part? i'm sure u don't need any lecturer to teach you to be more careful next time

Dammy, i think i absolutely agree with your point. So much time with so little to do leaves you with options u'd other-wise not consider. Hope u wont 'jabo' ur bf or hussy sha (if u av one) duting ur own service year

If its someone u truly love, i bet ya none of those stuff'l really work. For me, only way is giving-in to time, Let d hurt take its toll but be careful not to give more than its toll. Time really heals wen u're honest wit urself, D other listed stuff only put a coatin on d hurt, Make it appear differently!

One of my favourite quotes remains: "the best of men are still men at their very best". the fact that a preacher "messes up" does not change the possible truth in the message(s) he's preached. If verifiable news about Pastor Adeboye of RCCG (or anyother preacher for that matter) filters in to reveal some sordid habits, does that change how many people God has blessed thru them? My call is; follow God, pick his possible messages from men but don't wlak blindly behind them. I've headed a campus fellowship before and i sincerely know the times i was really on a low point in my life but was required to still encourage people in fellowship. I see it that most God help us all.

This is funny isn't it? statistics seem to be revealiing that guys are becoming more faithful to partners than ladies. sistas wats happening. the most annoying in the case of mine as in that of many others who i've talked to is the lady breaking down to tears and claiming they don't know wat they're doing. The devil has given them (the ladies) tears to enhance their deception skills, Guys, especially the sensitive ones shd beware.
I fell victim to my sensitivity and right now i'm still licking my wounds!!!
Anyways Gaby, just move on. there's nothing u can do about another person's choice, esp in lasting relationships.

i think u're right about her. but does that mean we can say the same for everyother guy or lady who's walked out on their relationships? its isn't just mine or a few others, there've been many i know about!!!

What exactly is it about the NYSC scheme that kills relationships?

I've had many friends and other none- friends who have lost their otherwise perfect relationships because they or their partners went to "serve" Nigeria for one year.

I always thought twas an original commitment problem until my own fiancee, not girlfriend now o, fiancee, walked out of our relationship because of another guy she met during the service year. And I could have laid down my life to defend her commitment to the relationship.

My hurt apart, i'm just trying to reseach what are the reasons that this happens so often!