No Way!!! Leave all those Joseph, Esau and Jacob story, its simply not possible. I'm not saying they wont love all their kids but they'll definitely be more drawn to one than the others. This really might not be any fault of the parents cos some children are simply more LOVABLE than the others. they are more obedient, pay more attention to the needs of the family (even as little kids) etc.

I'm from a Family of three male children and we difinitely had favourite kids with my dad and mom. Needless to say i wasn't either of them's favourite since i was really a difficult son to manage,

honeric01:

well if anything here is true, try out other men from other tribes and countries, before you are through with 100, you should be satisfied, i don't know how to say this, but it's like most women in here are unfortunate ones, can't any fortunate woman post something good about nigerian men? well as the word says, bad news spread very fast but the good ones stay in the closet until someone opens up,
at least i had a loving father who loved my mom for 30 years until he passed out, loving brothers and uncle that are married, happy with their wives and i haven't heard any stories of brutalization and shit like that.
and as for me, i have alot of role models to look up to, so no way of getting wayward. look at a mirror, check out yourself and then ask yourself if truly you deserve his treatment or that maybe you are the one with the wrong taste, mind and stuffs like that, its very easy to blame and claim faultless

Word!!! The poster didn't say exactly wat country she's from, i wld have given her links to real life examples of irresponsibility of men from her country. I agree that many Nigerian men are desperate and outright pathetic but not only here, abeg make una chill o!

babymine:

On a second thought, why don't you sit her down and tell her how you feel?

Sit a nagging mother down and talk to her? you've gotta be kiddin. things will just get worse, your wife will be accused of trying to paint your poison ur mind against ur mom, she'll cry and and cry that u don't appreciate her, etc.
My word is, just let her go!!! Thank her for the service so far but u feel u and ur wife need to learn to cope with the pressures on ur own, smth like that sha! Though mite not be easy if u dont have time or finances to employ a good nanny

U know the action sef na dance, u tink sey 'kerewa' na joke?
Come to think of it, that makes me great in bed! hmmm,

MILITIA:

Is it for rituals?!

thank you o! i was wondering the same myself! Mairaland and de kin minds wey dey here sef!!! Na wa!

cute-ass:

Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. But the truth though is that unless you got greedy, selfish parents, they want nothing but the best for you because they love you.

But though God gave them charge over you to take care of you, they're not perfect. Atimes they could be wrong too, it is true that they maybe look more deeply than we usually do, but that does not make them fortune-tellers.

Word!!! Guess not only the ass is cute for cute-ass,

for me its the hair, the eyes, the smile and the figure in that order, thats wat attracts (trips) me; all that character stuff comes after abeg

Please your financial stress is only temporary! Find something else to do around Abuja to keep an eye on your family! Your may get that job and lose your family! Which do you prefer? If the marriage don tire you and you are sick of your husband and kids or perhaps need a break, please come out and tell us! I cannot even believe you will even consider leaving your kids for one houseboy ore housemaid to fool with unsupervised! Please do not listen to these people oh---who may never even smell matrimony, not to talk of raising family! They will just wreck your marriage and fragment your family and you will be back here on Niaraland in tears looking for more advice. Them go laff you well well! Peace unto you oh! Use your tongue to count your teeth ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh not your fingers!

@MILITIA
While i agree with you that Nairaland might be the worst place to seek serious advice on issues that affect your life such as taking a job or not, I think some of ur conclutions are wrong. U live in the US ( where there are basic utilities running very well) so u definitely don't understand some things about financial stress and lack of efficient utilities. Do you have any idea wat it wld be like not to have money to fuel your car and take ur kids to school, leaving them to the rigours of publice transportation (She def wont be able to afford a taxi, if she can't fuel her car)? Do you know how fast financial stress can kill beauty in marriage? Do you know wat its like not to have money to feed (my dear, groceries aren't half as cheap in Naija as in the US o!)? If you know wat being broke in this country is like, imean if you have any idea, u'll not make things sound as though she's deciding to leave her kids.

By the way, i thought anyone who read through her post wld understand fully the dilemma she is in. I identify with her cos my family has gone thru smth like this before and that, at a time wen the economy was much better and inflation wasn't this terrible,

Having said that, i insist that the most rational decision is for her to go to Lagos but the best decision is the one she and her husband can reach together having analysed their poisitions (which u and i dont fully understand).

I really would love to have a girl first just cos i love the idea and i think it might help the boy grow up more responsible with a girl infront, besides, i love female children!!!! _{not in the Michael Jackson way sha}

I totally understand how u feel and of course how ur husband feels. My Fiance just got a dream job but will have to move to Ibadan, just Ibadan down there o! and even though i'm really happy for her, i catch myself wishing many times that it could have been in Lagos, and we are not married nor do we have kids,

I think Seun and the others who have spoken like him have really been unfair, i'l say take the job but you and your husband need to sit down and make a workable plan on how to make things work (as in the house). Love is all about compromise, evry single day (u shd know that, you area mother of three!).

I don't know any couple thats happier together than my parents and they've been married for 27yrs, there was a time my mom had to take exactly this same kind of step, My dad was a lecturer in a university and the pay in those days were pitiful, they had to sit down and make a plan, analyse honestly wat it would cost the two of them and the responsibilities they had to take on, Finally wen they'd agreed they called me, as the eldest child (interestingly we are three guys but i was 9yrs at the time) and told me wat had to happen at the time. I didn't really understand, but i took responsibility for my brothers. Anyways, our family came out the better for it, the initial payment for the expanse of land my parents' house sits on now came from that. My mom retired from her bank a long time ago, well before she was due to cos my dad's pay got a lot much much much better and his environmental consultancy business started doing very well,

Anyways enof of my family story; just felt that wld make it lighter for you and help you know that wat matters is how u guys handle!!!

But finally, if your husband suddenly says no and wont be persuaded, then i think you need to stick weit being in Abuja especially since the background of ur post suggests that he really is a great guy who i doubt wld just want to kill your dreams for nothing!

oh boy!!! if U feel say ur mind carry am!, carry go!!! but be ready to face them if there are any consequences. Looks like she's only asking for a one-night stand and maybe she heard gists about how 'huge' u are and how much satisfaction u give, If na me sha, i go run!!!

Yes she's very hot and classy not to mention comfortable.

do i sense materialism in that? abeg no chop wetin go kill u o!!!

ghengis, when people are serious, join in the seriousness and don't use your grand ma for jokes, give her some respect.

Serious?!!! P-lease, 'people should learn to find better things and ways to be serious than threads like this!!!

@xjovial
Didn't you see they wrote for "ladies only"?

@Topic
Interesting one, but why restrict it to the ladies, don't you know guys too get wooed?

My broda, if u no jealous then something must be wrong with you! My own girlfriend will not think of attending a playboy party, let alone tell me she intends to go back but since u knw yours better

,
i think you shd just open ur mind to her, let her know u feel funny about it. I doubt that u can really set limits for her cos she's gotta be an iundependent person. If talking doesb't reassure you, i guess u just have to be "the man": let your jealousy boil and cool within you without it causing much trouble, might just be her own way of catching some fun. _{but if na me sha, i go wonda wetin fit don happen behind my back!}

Eiregirl:

I'm going to be 29 this year & I don't look it! I have a gorgeous boyfriend who adores me. He's a little younger than me too

Na you biko!!! Wish all women cld be like that, if ur boyfriend ever turns around, Call on Ghengis, i'll be ur Khan!!! but em, em, honestly,, u'll have to compromise on the gorgeous part

yes ke!!!

hmmm u shd meet one of my friends Aunts, the lady's 42 and wen i met ha last year, was actually asking my friend to set up a way for us to jam wen he told me ha age, still can't believe it till date

I use to be a pro-virginity advocate up until I found out that while I was there saving it, other people were out there enjoying it,  Now I get mine when ever i can,  

thats just the problem, that means ur reasons for wanting to be a virgin then weren't rooted in ur own will, twas more about other people. Like i said, i'm not a "be a virgin" campaigner to everyone but i sure respect those who want to be.
I just feel life decisions no matter how small or big shd be  based on personal convictions.

why do we seem to have guys these days who think only with stiff "JTs"?,
I mean i have nothing against those who have sex wit their gfs but only with the unforced consent their partners. There really is so little for the value of companionship beyond how much of fantasies are being fulfilled.
Shouldn't u be proud of a girl that says she's not 'ready'?

Personally i feel guys who scream abt sex like babies are just plain insecure, unfortunately, banging beyonce wont make them feel better._{agree that'll be some experience sha}

ok, these are wonderful ppoints but geez, are there really women who don't fall into any of these? Naaah!!! i dont think so, just make sure u aint into all.

Speaking negatively about other women. When women call other women names like "slut", "bitch", and "crazy", it is anything but impressive to a man you are attracted you. Women will often do this when they see a good looking, desirable woman, especially if they feel their man might be attracted to her. This just makes a man think you are trying to cover up your own insecurities, and looking for validation and attention. Not good.

Ladies, u listening? We know its gonna be hard but y'all can do it!

cute-ass:

So how exactly can we be of help??

She might be making out with girls, which you don't have a problem with . . seems to me like a no-case then.(but be careful oo hmmm)

If you're sad that she doesnt make out with you, its understandable. But like you said, she's a virgin, and not everyone is strong-willed - - - she knows her strength and her weakness, so i guess she's trying to be practical.

Well my guy you just have to "manage" and be contented with the "little" you get, you can't force her into it - - but if its of any help though, nothing good comes easily - - hang on in there, "the patient dog eats the fattest bone"

WORD!!!

ok, . i don't THINK i can wash ha undies (at least i never tried), but my lady is really a great one, so she deserves it if i do it.

the only one she knows i can't do, is go shopping with her, i tried it once and we were in and out of shops for three hours without her buying anything. these day, i just drop her off or simply wait in the car, i def prefer that!!!

Heeeellllllllllll Nooooooo!!!!!

the word offensive says it all!

xjovial:

Hard nuts, But If I love her,I would date her and Find a solution to that odour palaver ortherwise, I go Runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn oh!!!

the odour somehow wont be dat offensive to you, it might be bad alright but surely not offensive!

@debosky
Bull's eye bro!!! the onl thing wrong is that the jersey should be Liverpool's

i've always had a problem with all these relationship rules but i must admit this is basic enough, and true too.
Isn't it funny that someone else will come up wit 101 rules from these simple 5? abeg all dem rule makers, keep them simple and straight

@iice

u being attacked by ur guy?

@Debosky
thanks for giving the young man a little lesson.

@xjovial
i think you mistake the word sexy for romantic

But i agree with you sha, its difficult to define a romantic woman in the same traditional way a guy is ( u know all the gifts, flowers, taking-out etc stuff).

_yawns

my grandmother is a virgin and she's not hooked, u interested?

Someone here said he's got a 3.2ghz core 2 duo. That's a frickin' lie! not even the core 2 quads go up to 3.2ghz

abeg tell am o!!! these na bragging righs no be lying rights!!!

My Specs:

HP xw4400

IIntel® Core™2 Duo processor E6700 2.67 GHz 4 MB 1066 MHz front side bus

4GB RAM/ 160GB SATA HDD/DVD+/-RW SuperMulti SATA/NVIDIA Quadro FX 4600 (768 MB)/

+HP 19" monitor


Don't ask me wat i'm doing wit that kinda sys, cos i don't really do graphics neither do i game that much, its just the dividend of working in the right place.

Costs like 220k for just the CPU alone

@ Esss
You got my vote man.

As sweet and true as these golden rules sound, they are not exactly practical. i don't know many couples who are near as happy as my parents in marriage and yet their getting married was way outside the norm.

I love to read 'em rules but i live to make my own personal rules

i dont know about LOVE at first sight bt i know i've been very attracted to pple at first sight on many occassions. thats what i believe is very possible and often happen.

I think love has really been abused and the word can mean anything from slight interest to wat balcony conversation ion "romeo and juliet"