it is possible, but very difficult. i'd rather not be in that kinda situ cos wat i cld do might shock even me

i know how these comments can make one feel esp wen its smth that means a lot to you. but my dia u just take these things wit a pinch of salt, you've to realise that Nairaland is just like Nigeria, at least 40% of members wld be whisked away to an institution if they ever had any psychlogical evaluation.

More seriously, u don't need any supernatural powers to avoid the errors that ur being attracted to another guy aside ur husband can lead to. U need to take each day at a time and tackle the feelings day by day with determination. It wont just zap away but grradually and steadily, i believe u can win the battle, thats in ur mind

i know the feeling. Been thru smth like that myself (see "why does NYSC "kill" relationships?" but thankfully i handled it well. i dont know how serious ur relationship withethis guy was and all that but if there were good days in it, then just think on those good days. the most hurtful part of the whole thing isn't exactly losing the person, its the feeling of being played for a fool

Most often than not, the people in que aren't worth exuding that much emotion for and where they are, i'm sure you deserve better than living in such hurt while they go on enjoying their lives

Tola, are u sure u are one year marreid
why is he not woth u
do u suspect him??

how did u meet him??

where

what type of wedding

please respond,

What about, where do you live?
whats ur phone number? how old are you? Is blue your best colour or red?

PLEEEEAAAASSSEEE!!!! leave out all the personal stuff query, this is smth that's personal to smne and u shd respect reading about it online and not start asking for the color of her underpants on her wedding night!

Its really crazy that shift but i guess its all evidence that the person means a lot to you!!!

@poster
I believe stuff like this happen to everyone, doesn't make u an ashewo or 'tart'. Its common babe. we all get to have the hots for smne who's seemingly got something our partners av not. the important thing is wat you do with the attraction. Don't humor urself though, i think you're already playing the flirting set and thats where the problem comes. If u realy love ur husband, u'll stay far away from this Nick guy, hang out more with friends, call ur hussy to tell him how much you love him (do that like 3ce as much as u used to), just do everything to work on ur mind, thats where the real job is!!!!

Having said that, you realy have a lot of work to do on ur mind o! cos if ur marriage is less than a year old and you're having hots for another this seriously already, u don't need a calculator to calculate the outcome of the next five years be careful!!!

this is a joke right??

how can u ask that?

abi u want a textbook

word!!!

How could somenone ask that kinda que? i guess ytou don't live in Naija abi?

@Militia
wetin i do you now? abeg free me o!

this is some thread!!!

@ poster
I don't believe virginity is over-rated, no way! its only important to know why u think rate it so high, is it cos ur mom raised you that way or the society told you so? Personally, i feel huge respect for women who've decided to keep themselves for the right reasons, (and i'm not talking about religion). So if you feel strongly abt ur virginity, then there's nothing you're doing wit a guy who doesn't respect that. Most likely, if ur man's presurring u that hard for stuff like that, knowing you feel strongly about it, then he's quite less of a man than he might seem.

Having said that, i must mention that my fiance WAS a virgin before we started going out (she was 24) and i didn't pressure her wit sex. When it finally happened, i felt quite bad about it and made a promise to postpone such things till the vows come in. I value her a whole lot. Not having sex with her nw is about a respect for her and nothing about the society.

There was a time though that we separated for a few months cos she was under pressure from anoda guy wen she temporarily relocated, i was kinda happy i had her that once during that time.

I should mention that was four years ago and the vows are coming in soon

No doubt Timi's a great singer,  but did anyone notice thats only when he's doing the Phil Collins. Llama or Michael Bolton thing?

He's humble, fine but i wld have prefered to see Omawumi lift the thing, she did different songs and delved where no one else dared, i mean, to do an Aguilera song is hard enough bt to do two and bring out such excellence in the two is almost unimaginably, What genre of song didn't she do and do justice to, none.

I felt Jodie was the best voice from the top ten but, Omawumi was defintely the best performer.

Timi has won, there's nothing i can do about it but lets see who'll be doing better in the industry in a few years, my money is on Omawumi!

We girls and our mouth! The next minute we'll be crying and begging

thats some admirable honesty rad!

u need a strong, caring, intelligent and wise lady? i think you also need a shrink!!!

i'll keep my original reply to this thread, seein the excited reaction its got from the ladies, lets leave them that way. Dis-illusioned, thats how they love to live.

What was all that stuff abt apples, believe me, some of us av reached the top of the tree and found that even though the ones at the top are not rotten, 'Birds' av eaten the sweet part!!!

hmmm, i guess that depends on how much you guys talk about in the relationship and how open you guys are to each others' needs.
If talking about anything isn't an issue, then you can talk to ur partner abt wat you might like to see and why, of course not by openly calling him/her unromantic. On the other hand, you cld keep being the romantic one and hope that someday, he/she will take a cue from you

yeye people
after you don go round all naija boys for america finish you come dey talk another thing about feelings. na your past dey haunt you so and you dey find people like you for here wey go support you.
you dey lie say you no get anything with somebody wey call you and appear for ya door. lie lie
if you no get anything to hide yu for carry phone when the guy call you. make you no come call dog monkey for her o.
you say you be african american. which place for africa be your own african american. you don reach africa before?
carry wahala comot jo

Is it just me or does this post really sound sick?

Is it just me or does this post really sound sick?

I think wt ure talkin about is promiscuity. A prostitute accordin 2d dictionary is s'one who sells sex 4money. Itz a nigerian slang 2call a promiscous person ashawo

@fynewaka
that is practical english lessons Part-1.
Thank you Sayoh but pls dont relent hoping practise can make perfect for fynewaka too

@topic
Is it just me or is there really a distinct evidence of prejudice against the men folk in that topic? Sounded like the stated stats described both sexes but suddenly!!! Only guys are the cheaters.
Mi o gba, i no gree.

@wendy and busta!
I believe a serious relationship is a lot about communication, being able to reach the deeepest parts of ur partner both the dreams and fears all together, shutting me out means no matter how hard i try, she just aint letting me into those things. Clear?!!!

"Over my dead body"!!! that'd av been my answer few months ago, but now; my girl cheated, told me, promised it was over but still went on to break-up our relationship cos of the guy. She wants to come back now and even though i'm stalling and forming i know within meself that i'lll still take ha back. Its crazy the things we do for love!!!

Now, now, that does it!!! you ladies av turned this thread to wat gurls do the best, trying to out-do another. Oga o!!! abeg make una dey answer the ques and u wey post am, if the thread don tire u, delete it. I thing its a great thread and u guys shdn't spoil it wit ur woman quantas

@radiant
I was wondering wat theyd turned the thread into.

There are manyh things my spouse cld do to make me cheat but i guess the most important is shutting me out of her life.
, i can stand other things but def not that.

pekele pekele!!!
Where is the senator that started this thread? From sane guy, to bad guy, to gay guy and now to vatican city?, little wonda the girl had to 2-time

-you could handle it the way i started handling mine: sulk!!! as in really sulk!!! feel sorry for yourself and think that nothing good in life ever lasts

-you could handle a heart-break the way mukina would, take every oppurtunity you get to nail the integrity of the opposite sex and say constantly that you'd never give yourself again to any other person

-you could go the way of other cowards (the word's mine): Sleep around with any willing individual (ehm, i said willing o!!! no raping pls!!!) or just go gay/lesbo,

-you could go the way of the pessimists: and say its just not possible to av a successful relationship, not hold a grudge about anyone but just search for "happines in other places"

-or you could pick yourself up, be honest enough to evaluate the causes of the previous heartbreak(s), determine to be better where its your fault and then dare to move on in life.

I personaly reccommend the last possibility, i've found out that no mata the numba of previous heart-breaks you've had, it only takes the right partner to make it seem like they were just a figment of ur imagination

A class-mate of mine in sec school was accused of smth he was innocent of, he faced the girl accusing him and beats his chest says repeatedly as he says

"Me, me, me, never-the-less"

it really is a mystery. the things we do for 'love'!!!

there are two sides to this (like in every story), if the guy thinks he's found a wife then he's thinking very eriously and wants to be certain abt ha level of commitment, Does the girl know wat his wage value is?,
On the other hand, she's sacrificed a lot like busta said to agree to visit him and might just be a way for ha to know too that he's for real if h pays for ha trip.
This life ehn!!! abeg Radiant, if na you, just follow ur heart, since the couple have been familiar for long, she knows somethings abt him, they must/ shd be enof to draw healthy conclusions about wat to do, or at least they'd have mutual friends who she cld somehow find out abt the guy from.
Money isn't the real issue, its trust and willingness to commit!!!