₦airaland Forum

OCHULI
A short story about a young dude Chido, who thought life was all about chasing ladies, until he met his Waterloo, but, that didn't deter him from chasing, he still continued.
As the title entails Ochuli, is an Igbo slang for a womanizer or one who finds pleasure in chasing women.

#CYNTHIA
"My guy how far nah?" Chido asked his friend Debe. "I dey o" Debe replied. "Debe e get one girl, wey I see yesterday o, her name na Cynthia, de girl make sense, she get front and back, the only thing be say she dark, but she pretty I no go lie u oo" Chido said. "Chido the great Ochuli, but bro take am easy, life no be only about chasing girls" Debe replied. "Bros na u sabi, if I know do this thing now, na when I wan take do am, when I don old get bear bear, abi when I don marry born children finish?" Chido asked, "Gee, I no dey against ur womanizing, but too much of womanizing is bad for you or for anyone, as ur correct guy, I no go leave make u go fall for pit, when I fit save u, so bro get a cool nice girl and forget all de other one, this is my own piece of advice to u my gee" Debe answered.
"Debe forget that thing, all this ur long epistle wey u call am advice, the thing still dey make me laugh, I go pick the better one, then I go throway the chaff, but the truth be say chaff too much, sensible thing wey dey inside no plenty, but I go manage am so, hahaha" Chido said while laughing. " Guy dat one consign u, if u like take am serious or unserious, a word is enough for the wise, de day u go give girl belle and u come beg me money for abortion na that day I go tell u say St Paul wey dey write epistle no be mumu" Debe replied. " Debe no insult me, which one be say I go come beg u for abortion money, because I no fit hustle or I no know where chemist dey, where I fit but condom from, no just insult me, I go soon go house because I no dey take insult from anybody, u just spoil my mood" Chido said angrily. "My guy no vex abeg, but u suppose don know say I dey talk too much, wait oo, de other day u tell me say u Bleep Faith without condom, na why I dey fear, never dey go house, stay make we talk small abeg" Debe begged. "I know say I make dangerous mistake that day but the girl come impromptu and I no get any other chance but to cuck am that day, thank God say she no dey her period, by the way Faith na smart babe and na so her toto take sweet, I dey miss her like dis, but she don go back school, u don remind me self, I go call her later, sweet Faith, I don even forget, Debe how work go today? Chido asked. " Work just dey, my Oga just dey stress person, I see five trousers and three shirts today, I go break for only twenty minutes, him make sure say no distractions today, as I reach work around 7:00 am, na so I just dey work reach 1:00 PM, when I come go break go chop, after break na straight to work till 6:30 pm, when we close and I dey hungry like this" Debe replied looking exhausted. "Bro ur day was hectic oo, see as u work like Jackie, u try sew all day clothes finish, I know say u dey hungry e don dey show for ur face, na #750 dey with me, but I go give u #250 make u use am go find wetin u go chop" Chido said.
" Chido, na why I dey always talk about you, e be like say u just study my mood finish, come know wetin be my problem, u be my number one guy any other Chidona counterfeit, thank u so much my guy na only H dey my pocket self, I go buy food #300, I go come use 50 bucks do transport tomorrow" Debe said happily.
"Oga Cee-J, how far nah how market go today, this one u just dey smile, e be like say ur bet don enter? Chick asked. Let me introduce Cee-J to y'all, Cee-J is Chido and Debe's neighbour the all live in a 5 storey apartment, Cee-J is an apprentice who's learning trading from his boss, he lives with his boss. His boss actually deals on provision (packaged, canned foods, toiletries, drinks, etc.) "Chido how u take know say my game enter e be like say u don turn wizard abi na winch, my brother I win 25k today oo, my body just dey sweet me since morning, take did 1k make u follow me jolly, Debe take 5h, I don dey enter house" Cee-J said ecstatically. "Cee-J thank u oo, Debe and Chido said in unison. "No problem, two of una na my real gees, see una morrow" Cee-J replied. "Good night oo, ka chi fo" Debe and Chido replied in unison again.
"Chido see as God dey take answer person prayer, just like that I don get 5h plus ur #250, I don become big boy" Debe said happily. "Na so God dey work in mysterious ways, see as Cee-J just dash me 1k, I go use dis #1,500 wey dey with me sub, ebe like say Cee-J just know say my data don finish" Chido added.